Praisefor
FLIPPED
WinneroftheCaliforniaYoungReaderMedal
WinneroftheSouthCarolinaChildrensBookAward
WinneroftheNevadaYoungReaders’Award
WinneroftheVirginiaYoungReadersProgramAward
ASchoolLibraryJournalBestBook
AnIRA-CBCChildrensChoice
AnIRA-CBCTeachersChoice
ANewYorkPublicLibraryBookfortheTeenAge
AJudyLopezMemorialAwardHonorWinner
VanDraanenhasanotherwinnerinthiseighth-grade‘hesaid,she-said’romance.”
SchoolLibraryJournal,Starred
“Weflippedoverthisfantasticbook,itsgutsygirlJulianditswise,wonderfulending.”
ChicagoTribune
“Delightful!Delicious!Andtotallyteen.”
BookPage
Withacharismaticleadingladykidswillflipover,acompellingdynamicbetweenthe
twonarratorsandaresonantending,thisnovelisagreatdeallargerthanthesumofitsparts.”
PublishersWeekly,Starred
“Awonderful,light-heartednovel.”
LibraryTalk
“Thisisawrycharacterstudy,aromancewithsubstanceandsubtlety.”
Booklist
“Ahighlyagreeableromanticcomedy.”
KirkusReviews
THISISABORZOIBOOKPUBLISHEDBYALFREDA.KNOPF
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentseitheraretheproductofthe
authorsimaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,events,or
localesisentirelycoincidental.
Textcopyright©2001byWendelinVanDraanenParsons
MotionPictureArtworkcopyright©2010byWarnerBros.EntertainmentInc.
Allrightsreserved.PublishedintheUnitedStatesbyAlfredA.Knopf,animprintofRandomHouse
Children’sBooks,adivisionofRandomHouse,Inc.,NewYork.Originallypublishedinhardcoverinthe
UnitedStatesbyAlfredA.Knopfin2001.
Knopf,BorzoiBooks,andthecolophonareregisteredtrademarksofRandomHouse,Inc.
“MyGirl
WordsandMusicbyWilliam“Smokey”RobinsonandRonaldWhite©1964,1972(renewed1992,
2000),1973,1977JOBETEMUSICCO.,INC.AllRightsControlledandAdministeredbyEMIAPRIL
MUSICINC.AllRightsReserved.InternationalCopyrightSecured.Usedbypermission.
VisitusontheWeb!www.randomhouse.com/teens
Educatorsandlibrarians,foravarietyofteachingtools,visitusatwww.randomhouse.com/teachers
Formoreinformationabout“Flipped”themovie,gotoWarnerBrothersofficialmovesite.
TheLibraryofCongresshascatalogedthehardcovereditionofthisworkasfollows:
VanDraanen,Wendelin.
Flipped/byWendelinVanDraanen.
p.cm.
Summary:Inalternatingchapters,twoteenagersdescribehowtheirfeelingsaboutthemselves,eachother,
andtheirfamilieshavechangedovertheyears.
[1.Interpersonalrelations—Fiction.2.Conductoflife—Fiction.3.Familylife—Fiction.4.Self-
perception—Fiction.]I.Title.
Z7.V2857Fl2001
[Fic]—dc212001029238
eISBN:978-0-375-98267-5
RandomHouseChildrensBookssupportstheFirstAmendmentandcelebratestherighttoread.
v3.0
Dedicatedwithinfiniteloveto
ColtonandConnor,
whomakemefeellikesomuchmorethanthesumofmyparts.
Specialthanksto…
myhusband,MarkParsons,
whohelpsmefeelthemagic,
and
myexcellenteditor,NancySiscoe,
forhercareandinsight
(andformakingmesticktoareduced-fillerdiet).
Also,eternalgratitudeto
TadCallahanandPatriciaGabel,
whowereontheballwhenweneededitmost.
Finally,thankstoJeanneMadridandthestaffatCasaDeVida
mayyoukeepthespirit.
Contents
Flipped
Bryce:DivingUnder
Juli:Flipped
Bryce:Buddy,Beware!
Juli:TheSycamoreTree
Bryce:Brawk-Brawk-Brawk!
Juli:TheEggs
Bryce:GetaGrip,Man
Juli:TheYard
Bryce:LoomingLargeandSmelly
Juli:TheVisit
Bryce:TheSeriousWillies
Juli:TheDinner
Bryce:Flipped
Juli:TheBasketBoys
AConversationwithWendelinVanDraanen
SneakPeekofConfessionsofaSerialKisser
Bryce:DivingUnder
AllI’veeverwantedisforJuliBakertoleavemealone.Forhertobackoff—youknow,justgive
mesomespace.
Itallstartedthesummerbeforesecondgradewhenourmovingvanpulledintoherneighborhood.And
since we’re now aboutdone with the eighth grade, that, my friend, makes more than half a decade of
strategicavoidanceandsocialdiscomfort.
Shedidntjustbargeintomylife.Shebargedandshovedandwedgedherwayintomylife.Didwe
invitehertogetintoourmovingvanandstartclimbingalloverboxes?No!Butthat’sexactlywhatshe
did,takingoverandshowingofflikeonlyJuliBakercan.
Mydadtriedtostopher.“Hey!”hesaysasshe’scatapultingherselfonboard.Whatareyoudoing?
You’regettingmudeverywhere!”Sotrue,too.Hershoeswere,like,cakedwiththestuff.
Shedidnthopout,though.Instead,sheplantedherrearendonthefloorandstartedpushingabigbox
withherfeet.“Dontyouwantsomehelp?”Sheglancedmyway.“Itsurelookslikeyouneedit.”
Ididntliketheimplication.And eventhoughmy dad hadbeen tossing me the samesortoflookall
week,Icouldtell—hedidn’tlikethisgirleither.“Hey!Dontdothat,”hewarnedher.“Therearesome
reallyvaluablethingsinthatbox.”
“Oh.Well,howaboutthisone?”ShescootsovertoaboxlabeledLENOXandlooksmywayagain.
“Weshouldpushittogether!
“No, no, no!” my dad says, then pulls her up by the arm. “Why dont you run along home? Your
mothersprobablywonderingwhereyouare.”
Thiswasthebeginningofmysoon-to-become-acuteawarenessthatthegirlcannottakeahint.Ofany
kind.Doessheziponhomelikeakidshouldwhenthey’vebeeninvitedtoleave?No.Shesays,“Oh,my
momknowswhereIam.Shesaiditwasfine.”Thenshepointsacrossthestreetandsays,Wejustlive
rightoverthere.”
Myfatherlookstowhereshespointingandmutters,Ohboy.”Thenhelooksatmeandwinksashe
says,“Bryce,isntittimeforyoutogoinsideandhelpyourmother?
Iknewrightoffthatthiswasaditchplay.AndIdidn’tthinkaboutituntillater,butditchwasntaplay
I’drunwithmydadbefore.Faceit,pullingaditchisnotsomethingdiscussedwithdads.Itslike,against
parentallawtotellyourkidit’sokaytoditchsomeone,nomatterhowannoyingormuddytheymightbe.
Buttherehewas,puttingtheplayinmotion,andman,hedidnthavetowinktwice.Ismiledandsaid,
“Surething!thenjumpedofftheliftgateandheadedformynewfrontdoor.
IheardhercomingaftermebutIcouldntbelieveit.Maybeitjustsoundedlikeshewaschasingme;
maybeshewasreallygoingtheotherway.ButbeforeIgotupthenervetolook,sheblastedrightpastme,
grabbingmyarmandyankingmealong.
This was too much. I planted myself and was about to tell her to get lost when the weirdest thing
happened. I was making this big windmill motion to break away from her, but somehow on the
downswing my hand wound up tangling into hers. I couldnt believe it. There I was, holding the mud
monkeyshand!
Itriedtoshakeheroff,butshejustclampedontightandyankedmealong,saying,“C’mon!
My mom came out of the house and immediately got the world’s sappiest look on her face. “Well,
hello,”shesaystoJuli.
“Hi!
I’m still tryingto pull free, butthe girls gotme ina death grip. My moms grinning, lookingat our
handsandmyfieryredface.“Andwhatsyourname,honey?”
“JuliannaBaker.Iliverightoverthere,”shesays,pointingwithherunoccupiedhand.
“Well,Iseeyouvemetmyson,”shesays,stillgrinningaway.
“Uh-huh!”
FinallyIbreakfreeanddotheonlymanlythingavailablewhenyouresevenyearsold—Idivebehind
mymother.
Mom puts her arm around me and says, “Bryce, honey, why dont you show Julianna around the
house?”
I flash her help and warning signals with every part of my body, but she’s not receiving. Then she
shakesmeoffandsays,“Goon.”
Juliwould’vetrampedrightinifmymotherhadn’tnoticedhershoesandtoldhertotakethemoff.And
afterthosewereoff,mymomtoldherthatherdirtysockshadtogo,too.Juliwasntembarrassed.Nota
bit.Shejustpeeledthemoffandlefttheminacrustyheaponourporch.
Ididntexactlygiveheratour.Ilockedmyselfinthebathroominstead.Andafterabouttenminutesof
yellingbackatherthatno,Iwasntcomingoutanytimesoon,thingsgotquietoutinthehall.Anotherten
minuteswentbybeforeIgotthenervetopeekoutthedoor.
NoJuli.
Isnuckoutandlookedaround,andyes!Shewasgone.
Notaverysophisticatedditch,buthey,Iwasonlyseven.
Mytroubleswerefarfromover,though.Everydayshecameback,overandoveragain.CanBryce
play?”Icouldhearheraskingfrommyhidingplacebehindthecouch.Ishereadyyet?”Onetimeshe
evencutacrosstheyardandlookedthroughmywindow.Ispottedherinthenickoftimeanddoveunder
mybed,butman,thatrighttheretellsyousomethingaboutJuliBaker.She’sgotnoconceptofpersonal
space.Norespectforprivacy.Theworldisherplayground,andwatchoutbelow—Julisontheslide!
Luckyforme,mydadwaswillingtorunblock.Andhediditoverandoveragain.HetoldherIwas
busyorsleepingorjustplaingone.Hewasalifesaver.
Mysister, on the other hand, tried tosabotageme any chance she got. Lynettas likethat.She’s four
years older than me, and buddy, I’ve learned from watching her how not to run your life. She’s got
ANTAGONIZEwrittenalloverher.Justlookather—notcross-eyedorwithyourtonguestickingoutor
anything—justlookatherandyouvestartedanargument.
Iusedtoknock-down-drag-outwithher,butit’sjustnotworthit.Girlsdontfightfair.Theypullyour
hairandgougeyouandpinchyou;thentheyrunoffgaspingtomommywhenyoutryanddefendyourself
withafist.Thenyougetlockedintotime-out,andforwhat?No,myfriend,thesecretis,dontsnapatthe
bait.Letitdangle.Swimaroundit.Laughitoff.Afterawhiletheyllgiveupandtrytoluresomeoneelse.
Atleastthat’sthewayitiswithLynetta.Andthebonusofhavingherasapain-in-the-rearsisterwas
figuringoutthatthismethodworksoneveryone.Teachers,jerksatschool,evenMomandDad.Seriously.
Theresnowinningargumentswithyourparents,sowhygetallpumpedupoverthem?Itiswaybetterto
divedownandgetoutofthewaythanitistogetclobberedbysomeparentaltidalwave.
The funny thing is, Lynetta’s still clueless when it comes to dealing with Mom and Dad. She goes
straightinto thrash mode and is toobusy drowning in the argument totake a deep breath and dive for
calmerwater.
AndshethinksI’mstupid.
Anyway,truetoform,LynettatriedtobaitmewithJulithosefirstfewdays.Sheevensnuckherpast
Dadonceandmarchedherallaroundthehouse,huntingmedown.Iwedgedmyselfuponthetopshelfof
mycloset,andluckyforme,neitherofthemlookedup.AfewminuteslaterIheardDadyellatJulitoget
offtheantiquefurniture,andonceagain,shegotbooted.
IdontthinkIwentoutsidethatwholefirstweek.IhelpedunpackstuffandwatchedTVandjustkindof
hung around while my mom and dad arranged and rearranged the furniture, debating whether Empire
setteesandFrenchRococotablesshouldevenbeputinthesameroom.
Sobelieveme,Iwasdyingtogooutside.ButeverytimeIcheckedthroughthewindow,IcouldseeJuli
showingoffinheryard.She’dbeheadingasoccerballordoinghighkickswithitordribblingitupand
down their driveway. And when she wasnt busy showing off, she’d just sit on the curb with the ball
betweenherfeet,staringatourhouse.
Mymomdidntunderstandwhyitwassoawfulthat“thatcutelittlegirl”hadheldmyhand.Shethought
Ishouldmakefriendswithher.“Ithoughtyoulikedsoccer,honey.Whydontyougooutthereandkickthe
ballaround?
BecauseIdidn’twanttobekickedaround, thatswhy.AndalthoughIcouldntsayitlikethatatthe
time,IstillhadenoughsenseatagesevenandahalftoknowthatJuliBakerwasdangerous.
Unavoidably dangerous, as it turns out. The minute I walked into Mrs. Yelsons second-grade
classroom,Iwasdeadmeat.“Bryce!”Julisqueals.“Yourehere.”Thenshechargesacrosstheroomand
tacklesme.
Mrs.Yelsontriedtoexplainthisattackawayasa“welcomehug,”butman,thatwasnohug.Thatwasa
front-line,take-’em-downtackle.AndeventhoughIshookheroff,itwastoolate.Iwasbrandedforlife.
Everyonejeered,“Where’syourgirlfriend,Bryce?”“Areyoumarriedyet,Bryce?”Andthenwhenshe
chasedmearoundatrecessandtriedtolaykissesonme,thewholeschoolstartedsinging,“Bryceand
Julisittinginatree,K-I-S-S-I-N-G…”
Myfirstyearintownwasadisaster.
Thirdgradewasntmuchbetter.ShewasstillhotonmytraileverytimeIturnedaround.Samewith
fourth.ButtheninfifthgradeItookaction.
Itstartedoutslow—oneofthoseNah-thats-not-rightideasyougetandforget.ButthemoreIplayed
withtheidea,themoreIthought,WhatbetterwaytowardJulioff?Whatbetterwaytosaytoher,“Juli,
youarenotmytype”?
Andso,myfriend,Ihatchedtheplan.
IaskedShellyStallsout.
To fully appreciate the brilliance of this, you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls. She
alwayshas,thoughitbeatsmewhy.Shellysniceandshesfriendlyandshesgotalotofhair.Whatsnot
to like? But Juli hated her, and I was going to make this little gem of knowledge the solution to my
problem.
WhatIwasthinkingwasthatShellywouldeatlunchatourtableandmaybewalkaroundalittlewith
me.Thatway,anytimeJuliwasaround,allIdhavetodowashangalittleclosertoShellyandthings
wouldjustnaturallytakecareofthemselves.Whathappened,though,isthatShellytookthingswaytoo
seriously.Shewentaroundtellingeverybody—includingJuli—thatwewereinlove.
InnotimeJuliandShellygotintosomekindofcatfight,andwhileShellywasrecoveringfromthat,my
supposed friend Garrett — who had been totally behind this plan — told her what I was up to. He’s
alwaysdeniedit,butIvesincelearnedthathiscodeofhonoriseasilycorruptedbyweepyfemales.
Thatafternoontheprincipaltriedcross-examiningme,butIwouldntcoptoanything.Ijustkepttelling
herthatIwassorryandthatIreallydidn’tunderstandwhathadhappened.Finallysheletmego.
Shelly cried for days and followed me around school sniffling and making me feel like a real jerk,
whichwasevenworsethanhavingJuliasashadow.
Everything blew over at the one-week mark, though, when Shelly officially dumped me and started
goingoutwithKyleLarsen.ThenJulistartedupwiththegoo-gooeyesagain,andIwasbacktosquare
one.
Now,insixthgradethingschanged,thoughwhethertheyimprovedishardtosay.IdontrememberJuli
actuallychasingmeinthesixthgrade.ButIdorememberhersniffingme.
Yes,myfriend,Isaidsniffing.
Andyoucanblamethatonourteacher,Mr.Mertins.HestuckJulitomelikeglue.Mr.Mertinshasgot
some kindof doctorate in seating arrangements or something,because he analyzed and scrutinized and
practicallybaptizedtheseatswehadtositin.AndofcoursehedecidedtoseatJulirightnexttome.
JuliBakeristhekindofannoyingpersonwhomakesapointoflettingyouknowshe’ssmart.Herhand
isthefirstoneup;heranswersareusuallycompletedissertations;herprojectsarealwaysturnedinearly
andusedasweaponsagainsttherestoftheclass.Teachersalwayshavetoholdherprojectupandsay,
This iswhatIm lookingfor, class.This isanexampleofA-pluswork.” Addall the extracreditshe
doestoanalreadyperfectscore,andIswearshe’snevergottenlessthan120percentinanysubject.
ButafterMr.MertinsstuckJulirightnexttome,herannoyingknowledgeofallsubjectsfarandwide
came in handy. See, suddenly Julis perfect answers, written in perfect cursive, were right across the
aisle,justaneye-shotaway.YouwouldntbelievethenumberofanswersIsnaggedfromher.Istarted
gettingAsandB’soneverything!Itwasgreat!
But thenMr.Mertins pulledthe shift. Hehad some newidea for “optimizingpositional latitudeand
longitude,”andwhenthedustfinallysettled,IwassittingrightinfrontofJuliBaker.
Thisiswherethesniffingcomesin.Thatmaniacstartedleaningforwardandsniffingmyhair.She’d
edgehernosepracticallyuptomyscalpandsniff-sniff-sniff.
I tried elbowing and back-kicking. I tried scooting my chair way forward or putting my backpack
betweenmeandtheseat.Nothinghelped.She’djustscootup,too,orleanoveralittlefartherandsniff-
sniff-sniff.
IfinallyaskedMr.Mertinstomoveme,buthewouldn’tdoit.Somethingaboutnotwantingtodisturb
thedelicatebalanceofeducationalenergies.
Whatever. I was stuck with her sniffing. And since I couldn’t see her perfectly penned answers
anymore,mygradestookadive.Especiallyinspelling.
Thenonetime,duringatest,JulisinthemiddleofsniffingmyhairwhenshenoticesthatIveblowna
spellingword.Alotofwords.Suddenlythesniffingstopsandthewhisperingstarts.AtfirstIcouldn’t
believeit.JuliBakercheating?Butsureenough,shewasspellingwordsforme,rightinmyear.
Julidalwaysbeenslyaboutsniffing,whichreallybuggedmebecausenooneevernoticedherdoingit,
butshewasjustasslyaboutgivingmeanswers,whichwasokaybyme.ThebadthingaboutitwasthatI
startedcountingonherspellinginmyear.Imean,whystudywhenyoudonthaveto,right?Butaftera
while,takingallthoseanswersmademefeelsortofindebtedtoher.Howcanyoutellsomeonetobugoff
orquitsniffingyouwhenyouowethem?Its,youknow,wrong.
SoIspentthesixthgradesomewherebetweenuncomfortableandunhappy,butIkeptthinkingthatnext
year,nextyear,thingswouldbedifferent.We’dbeinjuniorhigh—abigschool—indifferentclasses.It
wouldbeaworldwithtoomanypeopletoworryabouteverseeingJuliBakeragain.
Itwasfinally,finallygoingtobeover.
Juli:Flipped
ThefirstdayImetBryceLoski,Iflipped.Honestly,onelookathimandIbecamealunatic.Itshis
eyes. Something in his eyes. Theyre blue, and framed in the blackness of his lashes, theyre dazzling.
Absolutelybreathtaking.
Itsbeenoversixyearsnow,andIlearnedlongagotohidemyfeelings,butoh,thosefirstdays.Those
firstyears!IthoughtIwoulddieforwantingtobewithhim.
Twodaysbeforethesecondgradeiswhenitstarted,althoughtheanticipationbeganweeksbefore—
eversincemymotherhadtoldmethattherewasafamilywithaboymyagemovingintothenewhouse
rightacrossthestreet.
Soccercamphadended,andI’dbeensoboredbecausetherewasnobody,absolutelynobody,inthe
neighborhoodtoplaywith.Oh,therewerekids,buteveryoneofthemwasolder.Thatwasdandyformy
brothers,butwhatitleftmewashomealone.
My mother was there, but she had better things to do than kick a soccer ball around. So she said,
anyway.AtthetimeIdidntthinktherewasanythingbetterthankickingasoccerballaround,especially
notthelikesoflaundryordishesorvacuuming,butmymotherdidn’tagree.Andthedangerofbeinghome
alonewithherwasthatshe’drecruitmetohelpherwashordustorvacuum,andshewouldnttoleratethe
dribblingofasoccerballaroundthehouseasImovedfromchoretochore.
Toplayitsafe,Iwaitedoutsideforweeks,justincasethenewneighborsmovedinearly.Literally,it
wasweeks.Ientertainedmyselfbyplayingsoccerwithourdog,Champ.Mostlyhe’djustblockbecausea
dogcantexactlykickandscore,butonceinawhilehe’ddribblewithhisnose.Thescentofaballmust
overwhelmadog,though,becauseChampwouldeventuallytrytochompit,thenlosetheballtome.
WhentheLoskismovingvanfinallyarrived,everyoneinmyfamilywashappy.LittleJulianna”was
finallygoingtohaveaplaymate.
Mymother,beingthetrulysensibleadultthatsheis,mademewaitmorethananhourbeforegoingover
tomeethim.“Givethemachancetostretchtheirlegs,Julianna,”shesaid.“Theyllwantsometimeto
adjust.”Shewouldntevenletmewatchfromtheyard.“Iknowyou,sweetheart.Somehowthatballwill
windupintheiryardandyou’lljusthavetogoretrieveit.”
SoIwatchedfromthewindow,andeveryfewminutesI’dask,Now?”andshe’dsay,“Givethema
littlewhilelonger,wouldyou?”
Thenthephonerang.AndtheminuteIwassureshewasgoodandpreoccupied,Ituggedonhersleeve
andasked,“Now?
Shenoddedandwhispered,“Okay,buttakeiteasy!I’llbeoverthereinaminute.”
Iwastooexcitednottochargeacrossthestreet,butIdidtryveryhardtobecivilizedonceIgottothe
movingvan.Istoodoutsidelookinginforarecord-breakinglengthoftime,whichwashardbecausethere
hewas!Abouthalfwayback!Mynewsure-to-bebestfriend,BryceLoski.
Bryce wasn’t really doing much of anything. He was more hanging back, watching his father move
boxes onto the lift-gate. I remember feeling sorry for Mr. Loski because he looked worn out, moving
boxes all by himself.I also remember thathe and Brycewere wearing matchingturquoise polo shirts,
whichIthoughtwasreallycute.Reallynice.
When I couldntstand it any longer, I called, Hi!” intothe van, which made Bryce jump, and then
quickasacricket,hestartedpushingaboxlikehe’dbeenworkingallalong.
IcouldtellfromthewayBrycewasactingsoguiltythathewassupposedtobemovingboxes,buthe
wassickofit.He’dprobablybeenmovingthingsfordays!Itwaseasytoseethatheneededarest.He
neededsomejuice!Something.
ItwasalsoeasytoseethatMr.Loskiwasntabouttolethimquit.Hewasgoingtokeeponmoving
boxesarounduntilhecollapsed,andbythenBrycemightbedead.Deadbeforehedhadthechanceto
movein!
Thetragedyofitcatapultedmeintothemovingvan.Ihadtohelp!Ihadtosavehim!
WhenIgottohis sidetohelphim shove a boxforward,thepoor boy was soexhaustedthathe just
movedasideandletmetakeover.Mr.Loskididntwantmetohelp,butatleastIsavedBryce.I’dbeenin
themovingvanallofthreeminuteswhenhisdadsenthimofftohelphismotherunpackthingsinsidethe
house.
IchasedBryceupthewalkway,andthatswheneverythingchanged.Yousee,Icaughtuptohimand
grabbedhisarm,tryingtostophimsomaybewecouldplayalittlebeforehegottrappedinside,andthe
nextthingIknowhesholdingmyhand,lookingrightintomyeyes.
Myheartstopped.Itjuststoppedbeating.Andforthefirsttimeinmylife,Ihadthatfeeling.Youknow,
liketheworldismovingallaroundyou,allbeneathyou,allinsideyou,andyou’refloating.Floatingin
midair.Andtheonlythingkeepingyoufromdriftingawayistheotherpersonseyes.Theyreconnectedto
yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and
twirlsandfallscompletelyaway.
Ialmostgotmyfirstkissthatday.Imsureofit.Butthenhismothercameoutthefrontdoorandhewas
so embarrassed that his cheeks turned completely red, and the next thing you know he’s hiding in the
bathroom.
Iwaswaitingforhimtocomeoutwhenhissister,Lynetta,sawmeinthehallway.Sheseemedbigand
maturetome,andsinceshewantedtoknowwhatwasgoingon,Itoldheralittlebitaboutit.Ishouldn’t
have, though, because she wiggled the bathroom doorknob and started teasing Bryce something fierce.
“Hey,babybrother!”shecalledthroughthedoor.“There’sahotchickoutherewaitingforyou!Whatsa
matter?Afraidshe’sgotcooties?
Itwassoembarrassing!Iyankedonherarmandtoldhertostopit,butshewouldn’t,sofinallyIjust
left.
IfoundmymotheroutsidetalkingtoMrs.Loski.MomhadgivenherthebeautifullemonBundtcakethat
wassupposedtobeourdessertthatnight.Thepowderedsugarlookedsoftandwhite,andthecakewas
stillwarm,sendingsweetlemonsmellsintotheair.
Mymouthwaswateringjustlookingatit!ButitwasinMrs.Loskishands,andIknewtherewasno
gettingitback.All I could dowas try toeatup thesmells whileIlistened tothe two of them discuss
grocerystoresandtheweatherforecast.
AfterthatMomandIwenthome.Itwasverystrange.IhadntgottentoplaywithBryceatall.AllI
knewwasthathiseyeswereadizzyingblue,thathehadasisterwhowasnottobetrusted,andthathe’d
almostkissedme.
Ifellasleepthatnightthinkingaboutthekissthatmighthavebeen.Whatdidakissfeellike,anyway?
Somehow I knew it wouldnt be like the one I got from Mom or Dad at bedtime. The same species,
maybe, butaradicallydifferentbeast,to be sure. Likea wolfandawhippet—onlysciencewould put
themonthesametree.
Lookingbackonthesecondgrade,Iliketothinkitwasatleastpartlyscientificcuriositythatmademe
chaseafterthatkiss,buttobehonest,itwasprobablymorethoseblueeyes.Allthroughthesecondand
thirdgradesIcouldntseemtostopmyselffromfollowinghim,fromsittingbyhim,fromjustwantingto
benearhim.
BythefourthgradeI’dlearnedtocontrolmyself.Thesightofhim—thethoughtofhim—stillsentmy
heart humming, but my legs didnt actually chase after him anymore. I just watched and thought and
dreamed.
TheninthefifthgradeShellyStallscameintothepicture.ShellyStallsisaninny.Awhiny,gossipy,
backstabbing ninny who says one thing to one person and the opposite to another. Now that we’re in
juniorhigh,she’stheundisputeddivaofdrama,butevenbackinelementaryschoolsheknewhowtoput
on a performance. Especially when it came to P.E. I never once saw her run laps or do calisthenics.
Instead,shewouldgointoher“delicate”act,claimingherbodywouldabsolutelycollapsefromthestrain
ifsheranorjumpedorstretched.
Itworked.Everyyear.She’dbringinsomenoteandbesuretoswoonalittlefortheteacherthefirst
fewdaysoftheyear,afterwhichshe’dbeexcusedfromanythingthatrequiredmuscles.Shenevereven
putupherownchairattheendoftheday.Theonlymusclessheexercisedregularlyweretheonesaround
hermouth,andthosesheworkedoutnonstop.IftherewasanOlympiccontestfortalking,ShellyStalls
would sweep the event.Well, she’d at leastwin the gold and silver—onemedal for eachside ofher
mouth.
What bugged me about it was not the fact that she got out of P.E.—who’d want her on their team,
anyway? What bugged me about it was that anyone who bothered to look would know that it wasnt
asthmaorweakanklesorherbeing“delicate”thatwasstoppingher.Itwasherhair.Shehadmountainsof
it, twisted this way or that, clipped or beaded, braided or swirled. Her ponytails rivaled the ones on
carouselhorses.Andonthedayssheletitallhangdown,she’dsortofshimmyandcuddleinsideitlikeit
wasablanket,sothatpracticallyallyousawofherfacewashernose.Goodluckplayingfour-square
withablanketoveryourhead.
MysolutiontoShellyStallswastoignoreher,whichworkedjustdandyuntilabouthalfwaythroughthe
fifthgradewhenIsawherholdinghandswithBryce.
My Bryce. The one who was still embarrassed over holding my hand two days before the second
grade.Theonewhowasstilltooshytosaymuchmorethanhellotome.
Theonewhowasstillwalkingaroundwithmyfirstkiss.
HowcouldShellyhavewormedherhandintohis?Thatpushylittleprincesshadnobusinesshanging
ontohimlikethat!
Brycelookedoverhisshoulderfromtimetotimeastheywalkedalong,andhewaslookingatme.My
first thought was that he was telling me he was sorry. Then it dawned on me— he needed my help.
Absolutely,thatswhatithadtobe!ShellyStallswastoodelicatetoshakeoff,tooswirlytobepushed
away.She’dunravelandstartsnifflingandoh,howembarrassingthatwouldbeforhim!No,thiswasnta
jobaboycoulddogracefully.Thiswasajobforagirl.
Ididn’t evenbother checkingaroundfor other candidates—Ihadher offofhimintwo secondsflat.
Bryce ranaway the minute he was free, butnot Shelly. Oh, no-no-no!She came atme, scratchingand
pullingandtwistinganythingshecouldgetherhandson,tellingmethatBrycewashersandtherewasno
wayshewaslettinghimgo.
Howdelicate.
IwashopingforherdsofteacherstoappearsotheycouldseetherealShellyStallsinaction,butitwas
toolatebythetimeanyonearrivedonthescene.IhadFluffyinaheadlockandherarmtwistedbackina
hammerlock, andno amountofher squawking orscratching wasgoing togetmetounlock her untila
teacherarrived.
Intheend,Shellywenthomeearlywithabadcaseofmussed-uphair,whileItoldmysideofthingsto
the principal. Mrs. Shultzisa sturdy lady who probably secretly appreciatesthe valueof a swiftkick
well placed, and although she told me thatit would be better if I let other people workout their own
dilemmas,shedefinitelyunderstoodaboutShellyStallsandherhairandtoldmeshewasgladIdhadthe
self-controltodonothingmorethanrestrainher.
Shellywasbackthenextdaywithaheadfullofbraids.Andofcourseshegoteverybodywhispering
aboutme,butIjustignoredthem.Thefactsspokeforthemselves.Brycedidntgoanywherenearherfor
therestoftheyear.
Thats not to say that Bryce held my hand after that, but he did start being a little friendlier to me.
Especiallyinthesixthgrade,afterMr.Mertinssatusrightnexttoeachotherinthethirdrowback.
Sittingnext toBryce was nice. He was nice. He’d say Hi, Juli tome every morning, and once in a
whileIdcatchhimlookingmyway.He’dalwaysblushandgobacktohisownwork,andIcouldnthelp
butsmile.Hewassoshy.Andsocute!
Wetalkedtoeachothermore,too.EspeciallyafterMr.Mertinsmovedmebehindhim.Mr.Mertinshad
adetentionpolicyaboutspelling,whereifyoumissedmorethansevenoutoftwenty-fivewords,youhad
tospendlunchinsidewithhim,writingyourwordsoverandoverandoveragain.
ThepressureofdetentionmadeBrycepanic.Andeventhoughitbotheredmyconscience,Idleanin
andwhisperanswerstohim,hopingthatmaybeIcouldspendlunchwithhiminstead.Hishairsmelled
likewatermelon,andhisear-lobeshadfuzz.Soft,blondfuzz.AndIwonderedaboutthat.Howdoesaboy
withsuchblackhairwindupwithblondearfuzz?Whatsitdoingthere,anyway?Icheckedmyownear-
lobes in themirror butcouldn’tfindmuchofanythingon them,and Ididntspotanyonotherpeople’s
either.
IthoughtaboutaskingMr.Mertinsaboutearlobefuzzwhenwewerediscussingevolutioninscience,
butIdidnt.Instead,Ispenttheyearwhisperingspellingwords,sniffingwatermelon,andwonderingifI
wasevergoingtogetmykiss.
Bryce:Buddy,Beware!
Seventhgradebroughtchanges,allright,butthebiggestonedidnthappenatschool—ithappenedat
home.GranddadDuncancametolivewithus.
Atfirstitwaskindofweirdbecausenoneofusreallyknewhim.ExceptforMom,ofcourse.Andeven
thoughshe’sspentthepastyearandahalftryingtoconvinceushesagreatguy,fromwhatIcantell,the
thinghelikestodobestisstareoutthefront-roomwindow.There’snotmuchtoseeoutthereexceptthe
Bakersfrontyard,butyoucanfindhimtheredayornight,sittinginthebigeasychairtheymovedinwith
him,staringoutthewindow.
Okay,sohealsoreadsTomClancynovelsandthenewspapersanddoescrosswordpuzzlesandtracks
hisstocks,butthosethingsarealldistractions.Givennoonetojustifyitto,themanwouldstareoutthe
windowuntilhefellasleep.Notthattheresanythingwrongwiththat.Itjustseemsso…boring.
MomsayshestareslikethatbecausehemissesGrandma,butthatsnotsomethingGranddadhadever
discussedwithme.Asamatteroffact,heneverdiscussedmuchofanythingwithmeuntilafewmonths
agowhenhereadaboutJuliinthenewspaper.
Now,Juli Baker did not windup on the frontpage oftheMayfieldTimes for being an eighth-grade
Einstein,likeyoumightsuspect.No,myfriend,shegotfront-pagecoveragebecausesherefusedtoclimb
outofasycamoretree.
NotthatIcouldtellasycamorefromamapleorabirchforthatmatter,butJuli,ofcourse,knewwhat
kindoftreeitwasandpassedthatknowledgealongtoeverycreatureinherwake.
Sothistree,thissycamoretree,wasupthehillonavacantlotonCollierStreet,anditwasmassive.
Massiveandugly.Itwastwistedandgnarledandbent,andIkeptexpectingthethingtoblowoverinthe
wind.
OnedaylastyearIdfinallyhadenoughofheryakkingaboutthatstupidtree.Icamerightoutandtold
herthatitwasnotamagnificentsycamore,itwas,inreality,theugliesttreeknowntoman.Andyouknow
whatshesaid?ShesaidIwasvisuallychallenged.Visuallychallenged!Thisfromthegirlwholivesina
housethatsthescourgeoftheneighborhood.Theyvegotbushesgrowingoverwindows,weedssticking
outallovertheplace,andabarnyard’sworthofanimalsrunningwild.Imtalkingdogs,cats,chickens,
evensnakes.IsweartoGod,herbrothershaveaboaconstrictorintheirroom.Theydraggedmeinthere
whenIwasabouttenandmademewatchiteatarat.Alive,beady-eyedrat.Theyheldthatrodentupby
itstailandgulp,theboaswalloweditwhole.Thatsnakegavemenightmaresforamonth.
Anyway, normally I wouldnt care about someone’s yard, but the Bakers mess bugged my dad big-
time,andhechanneledhisfrustrationintoouryard.Hesaiditwasourneighborlydutytoshowthemwhat
ayard’ssupposedtolooklike.SowhileMikeandMattarebusyplumpinguptheirboa,Imhavingto
mowandedgeouryard,thensweepthewalkwaysandgutter,whichisgoingalittleoverboard,ifyouask
me.
AndyoudthinkJulisdad—who’sabig,strong,bricklayingdude—wouldfixtheplaceup,butno.
According to my mom, he spends all his free time painting. His landscapes dont seem like anything
specialtome,butjudgingbyhispricetags,hethinksquitealotofthem.Weseethemeveryyearatthe
MayfieldCountyFair,andmyparentsalwayssaythesamething:“Theworldwouldhavemorebeautyin
itifhe’dfixuptheyardinstead.”
MomandJulismomdotalksome.IthinkmymomfeelssorryforMrs.Baker—shesaysshemarried
adreamer,andbecauseofthat,oneofthetwoofthemwillalwaysbeunhappy.
Whatever. Maybe Julis aesthetic sensibilities have been permanently screwed up by her father and
none ofthis isherfault,butJuli hasalways thoughtthatthatsycamoretreewasGod’s gifttoourlittle
corneroftheuniverse.
Backinthethirdandfourthgradessheusedtoclownaroundwithherbrothersinthebranchesorpeel
bigchunksofbarkoffsotheycouldslidedownthecrookinitstrunk.Itseemedliketheywereplayingin
itwhenevermymomtookussomewhereinthecar.Julidbeswingingfromthebranches,readytofall
andbreakeveryboneinherbody,whilewewerewaitingatthestoplight,andmymomwouldshakeher
headandsay,“Dontyoueverclimbthattreelikethat,doyouhearme,Bryce?Ineverwanttoseeyou
doingthat!Youeither,Lynetta.Thatismuchtoodangerous.”
Mysisterwouldrollhereyesandsay,“Asif,whileI’dslumpbeneaththewindowandprayforthe
lighttochangebeforeJulisquealedmynamefortheworldtohear.
Ididtrytoclimbitonceinthefifthgrade.ItwasthedayafterJulihadrescuedmykitefromitsmutant
toy-eatingfoliage.Sheclimbedmilesuptogetmykite,andwhenshecamedown,shewasactuallyvery
coolaboutit.Shedidn’tholdmykitehostageandstickherlipsoutlikeIwasafraidshemight.Shejust
handeditoverandthenbackedaway.
Iwasrelieved,butIalsofeltlikeaweenie.WhenI’dseenwheremykitewastrapped,Iwassureit
wasagoner.NotJuli.Shescrambledupandgotitdowninnotime.Man,itwasembarrassing.
SoImadeamentalpictureofhowhighshe’dclimbed,andthenextdayIsetofftooutdoherbyatleast
two branches. Imade it past the crook, up a few limbs, and then — justto see how I wasdoing— I
lookeddown.
Mis-take!ItfeltlikeIwasontopoftheEmpireStateBuildingwithoutabungee.Itriedlookingupto
wheremykitehadbeen,butitwashopeless.Iwasindeedatree-climbingweenie.
ThenjuniorhighstartedandmydreamofaJuli-freeexistenceshattered.Ihadtotakethebus,andyou-
know-whodid,too.Therewereabouteightkidsaltogetheratourbusstop,whichcreatedabufferzone,
but it was no comfortzone. Juli always tried tostand beside me, or talk to me, or in some other way
mortifyme.
Andthenshestartedclimbing.Thegirlisintheseventhgrade,andshe’sclimbingatree—way,way
upinatree.Andwhydoesshedoit?Soshecanyelldownatusthatthebusisfive!four!threeblocks
away!Blow-by-blow trafficwatch from a tree—whatevery kidinjuniorhigh feelslikehearingfirst
thinginthemorning.
Shetriedtogetmetocomeuptherewithher,too.Bryce,comeon!Youwontbelievethecolors!Its
absolutelymagnificent!Bryce,youvegottocomeuphere!”
Yeah,Icouldjusthearit:“BryceandJulisittinginatree…”WasIevergoingtoleavethesecond
gradebehind?
OnemorningIwasspecificallynotlookingupwhenoutofnowheresheswingsdownfromabranch
andpracticallyknocksmeover.Hearta-ttack!Idroppedmybackpackandwrenchedmyneck,andthat
didit.Irefusedtowaitunderthattreewiththatmaniacmonkeyonthelooseanymore.Istartedleavingthe
houseattheverylastminute.Imadeupmyownwaitingspot,andwhenI’dseethebuspullup,Idtruck
upthehillandgetonboard.
NoJuli,noproblem.
Andthat,myfriend,tookcareoftherestofseventhgradeandalmostallofeighth,too,untilonedaya
fewmonthsago.That’swhenIheardacommotionupthehillandcouldseesomebigtrucksparkedupon
CollierStreetwherethebuspullsin.ThereweresomemenshoutingstuffupatJuli,whowas,ofcourse,
fivestoriesupinthetree.
Alltheotherkidsstartedtogatherunderthetree,too,andIcouldhearthemtellinghershehadtocome
down.Shewasfine—thatwasobvioustoanyonewithapairofears—butIcouldntfigureoutwhat
theywereallarguingabout.
Itruckedupthehill,andasIgotcloserandsawwhatthemenwereholding,Ifiguredoutinahurry
whatwasmakingJulirefusetocomeoutofthetree.
Chainsaws.
Dontgetmewronghere,okay?Thetreewasanuglymutanttangleofgnarlybranches.Thegirlarguing
withthosemenwasJuli—theworld’speskiest,bossiest,mostknow-it-allfemale.Butallofasudden
mystomachcompletelybailedonme.Julilovedthattree.Stupidasitwas,shelovedthattree,andcutting
itdownwouldbelikecuttingoutherheart.
Everyonetriedtotalkherdown.Evenme.Butshesaidshewasntcomingdown,notever,andthenshe
triedtotalkusup.“Bryce,please!Comeupherewithme.Theywontcutitdownifwe’realluphere!
ForasecondIconsideredit.ButthenthebusarrivedandItalkedmyselfoutofit.Itwasntmytree,
andeventhoughsheactedlikeitwas,itwasntJulis,either.
Weboardedthebusandleftherbehind,butschoolwasprettymuchawaste.Icouldntseemtostop
thinkingaboutJuli.Wasshestillupinthetree?Weretheygoingtoarresther?
Whenthebusdroppedusoffthatafternoon,Juliwasgoneandsowashalfthetree.Thetopbranches,
theplacemykitehadbeenstuck,herfavoriteperch—theywereallgone.
We watched them work for a little while, the chain saws gunning at full throttle, smoking as they
chewedthroughwood.Thetreelookedlopsidedandnaked,andafterafewminutesIhadtogetoutof
there.Itwaslikewatchingsomeonedismemberabody,andforthefirsttimeinages,Ifeltlikecrying.
Crying.OverastupidtreethatIhated.
Iwenthomeandtriedtoshakeitoff,butIkeptwondering,ShouldIhavegoneupthetreewithher?
Wouldithavedoneanygood?
IthoughtaboutcallingJulitotellherIwassorrytheydcutitdown,butIdidnt.Itwould’vebeentoo,
Idon’tknow,weird.
Shedidntshowatthebusstopthenextmorninganddidntridethebushomethatafternoon,either.
Thenthatnight,rightbeforedinner,mygrandfathersummonedmeintothefrontroom.Hedidntcallto
measIwaswalkingby—thatwouldhaveborderedonfriendliness.Whathedidwastalktomymother,
whotalkedtome.“Idon’tknowwhatit’sabout,honey,”shesaid.“Maybehesjustreadytogettoknow
youalittlebetter.”
Great.Themanshadayearandahalftogetacquainted,andhechoosesnowtogettoknowme.ButI
couldntexactlyblowhimoff.
My grandfathers a big man with a meaty nose and greased-back salt-and-pepper hair. He lives in
houseslippersandasportscoat,andI’veneverseenawhiskeronhim.Theygrow,butheshavesthemoff
likethreetimesaday.Itsarealrecreationalactivityforhim.
Besideshismeatynose,he’salsogotbigmeatyhands.Isupposeyou’dnoticehishandsregardless,but
whatmakesyourealizejusthowbeefytheyareishisweddingring.Thatthingsnevergoingtocomeoff,
and eventhoughmy mother saysthat’show it should be,Ithinkheoughttogetitcutoff.Anotherfew
poundsandthatringsgoingtoamputatehisfinger.
WhenIwentintoseehim,thosebighandsofhiswerewoventogether,restingonthenewspaperinhis
lap.Isaid,“Granddad?Youwantedtoseeme?”
“Haveaseat,son.”
Son?HalfthetimehedidntseemtoknowwhoIwas,andnowsuddenlyIwas“son?Isatinthechair
oppositehimandwaited.
“TellmeaboutyourfriendJuliBaker.”
Juli?She’snotexactlymyfriend…!
“Whyisthat?”heasked.Calmly.Likehehadpriorknowledge.
Istartedtojustifyit,thenstoppedmyselfandasked,“Whydoyouwanttoknow?”
Heopenedthepaperandpresseddownthecrease,andthatswhenIrealizedthatJuliBakerhadmade
thefrontpageoftheMayfieldTimes.Therewasahugepictureofher in thetree,surroundedbyafire
brigadeandpolicemen,andthensomesmallerphotosIcouldntmakeoutverywell.“CanIseethat?”
Hefoldeditupbutdidnthanditover.“Whyisn’tsheyourfriend,Bryce?”
“Becauseshe’s…”Ishookmyheadandsaid,“YoudhavetoknowJuli.”
“Idliketo.”
“What?Why?”
“Becausethegirlsgotanironbackbone.Whydontyouinviteheroversometime?
“Anironbackbone?Granddad,youdon’tunderstand!Thatgirlisaroyalpain.Shesashow-off,she’s
aknow-it-all,andsheispushybeyondbelief!
“Isthatso.”
“Yes!That’sabsolutelyso!Andshe’sbeenstalkingmesincethesecondgrade!
Hefrowned,thenlookedoutthewindowandasked,“Theyvelivedtherethatlong?”
“Ithinktheywereallbornthere!
Hefrownedsomemorebeforehelookedbackatmeandsaid,“Agirllikethatdoesntlivenextdoorto
everyone,youknow.”
“Luckythem!
He studied me, longandhard.Isaid,What?” buthedidn’tflinch.Hejustkeptstaringatme,andI
couldnttakeit—Ihadtolookaway.
KeepinmindthatthiswasthefirstrealconversationI’dhadwithmygrandfather.Thiswasthefirst
timehe’dmadetheefforttotalktomeaboutsomethingbesidespassingthesalt.Anddoeshewanttoget
toknowme?No!HewantstoknowaboutJuli!
Icouldn’tjuststandupandleave,eventhoughthat’swhatIfeltlikedoing.SomehowIknewifIleft
likethat,he’dquittalkingtomeatall.Evenaboutsalt.SoIsattherefeelingsortoftortured.Washemad
atme?Howcouldhebemadatme?Ihadntdoneanythingwrong!
WhenIlookedup,hewassittingthereholdingoutthenewspapertome.“Readthis,”hesaid.“Without
prejudice.”
Itookit,andwhenhewentbacktolookingoutthewindow,Iknew—Idbeendismissed.
BythetimeIgotdowntomyroom,Iwasmad.Islammedmybedroomdoorandfloppeddownonthe
bed,andafterfumingaboutmysorryexcuseforagrandfatherforawhile,Ishovedthenewspaperinthe
bottomdrawerofmydesk.LikeIneededtoknowanymoreaboutJuliBaker.
AtdinnermymotheraskedmewhyIwassosulky,andshekeptlookingfrommetomygrandfather.
Granddaddidntseemtoneedanysalt,whichwasagoodthingbecauseImighthavethrowntheshakerat
him.
Mysisteranddadwereallbusiness asusual,though.Lynettaateabouttworaisinsoutofhercarrot
salad,thenpeeledtheskinandmeatoffherchickenwingandnibbledgristleoffthebone,whilemyfather
filledupairspacetalkingaboutofficepoliticsandtheneedforashakedowninuppermanagement.
Noonewaslisteningtohim—nooneeverdoeswhenhegetsononeofhisif-I-ran-the-circusjags
butforonceMomwasntevenpretending.AndforonceshewasnttryingtoconvinceLynettathatdinner
wasdeliciouseither.ShejustkepteyeingmeandGranddad,tryingtopickuponwhyweweremiffedat
eachother.
Notthathehadanythingtobemiffedatmeabout.WhathadIdonetohim,anyway?Nothing.Nada.But
hewas,Icouldtell.AndIcompletelyavoidedlookingathimuntilabouthalfwaythroughdinner,whenI
sneakedapeek.
He was studying me, all right.And even though it wasnt a mean stare, or a hard stare, itwas, you
know,firm.Steady.Anditweirdedmeout.Whatwashisdeal?
Ididntlookathimagain.Oratmymother.Ijustwentbacktoeatingandpretendedtolistentomydad.
AndthefirstchanceIgot,Iexcusedmyselfandholedupinmyroom.
I was planning to call my friend Garrett like I usually do when Im bent about something. I even
punchedinhisnumber,butIdontknow.Ijusthungup.
Andlaterwhenmymomcamein,IfakedlikeIwassleeping.Ihaventdonethatinyears.Thewhole
nightwasweirdlikethat.Ijustwantedtobeleftalone.
Juliwasntatthebusstopthenextmorning.OrFridaymorning.Shewasatschool,butyoudnever
knowitifyoudidntactuallylook.Shedidn’twhipherhandthroughtheairtryingtogettheteacherto
call on her or charge through the halls getting to class. She didnt make unsolicited comments for the
teachersedificationorchallengethekidswhotookcutsinthemilkline.Shejustsat.Quiet.
I told myself I should be glad aboutit — it was like she wasn’t even there, andisnt that what Id
always wanted? Butstill,I felt bad. Abouthertree, about how shehurried offto eatby herselfin the
libraryatlunch,abouthowhereyeswereredaroundtheedges.Iwantedtotellher,Man,I’msorryabout
yoursycamoretree,butthewordsneverseemedtocomeout.
By the middleofthe nextweek, theyd finished takingdown the tree. They clearedthe lotandeven
triedtopullupthestump,butthatsuckerwouldnotbudge,sotheywoundupgrindingitdownintothe
dirt.
Julistilldidntshowatthebusstop,andbytheendoftheweekIlearnedfromGarrettthatshewas
ridingabike.Hesaidhe’dseenheronthesideoftheroadtwicethatweek,puttingthechainbackonthe
derailleurofarustyoldten-speed.
Ifiguredshe’dbeback.ItwasalongrideouttoMayfieldJuniorHigh,andonceshegotoverthetree,
she’dstartridingthebusagain.Ievencaughtmyselflookingforher.Notonthelookout,justlooking.
ThenonedayitrainedandIthoughtforsureshe’dbeupatthebusstop,butno.Garrettsaidhesawher
truckingalongonherbikeinabrightyellowponcho,andinmathInoticedthatherpantswerestillsoaked
fromthekneesdown.
Whenmathletout,Istartedtochaseafterhertotellherthatsheoughttotryridingthebusagain,butI
stoppedmyselfinthenickoftime.WhatwasIthinking?ThatJuliwouldnttakealittlefriendlyconcern
andcompletelymisinterpretit?Whoanow,buddy,beware!Bettertojustleavewellenoughalone.
Afterall,thelastthingIneededwasforJuliBakertothinkImissedher.
Juli:TheSycamoreTree
Ilovetowatchmyfatherpaint.Orreally,Ilovetohearhimtalkwhilehepaints.Thewordsalways
come out soft and somehow heavy when he’s brushing on the layers of a landscape. Not sad. Weary,
maybe,butpeaceful.
Myfatherdoesnthaveastudiooranything,andsincethegarageisstuffedwiththingsthateveryone
thinkstheyneedbutnooneeveruses,hepaintsoutside.
Outsideis where the best landscapes are,onlythey’re nowhere near our house. Sowhat he does is
keepacamerainhistruck.Hisjobasamasontakeshimtolotsofdifferentlocations,andhesalwayson
thelookoutforagreatsunriseorsunset,orevenjustanicefieldwithsheeporcows.Thenhepicksout
oneofthesnapshots,clipsittohiseasel,andpaints.
Thepaintingscomeoutfine,butI’vealwaysfeltalittlesorryforhim,havingtopaintbeautifulscenes
inourbackyard,whichisnotexactlypicturesque.Itneverwasmuchofayard,butafterIstartedraising
chickens,thingsdidntexactlyimprove.
Dad doesnt seem to see the backyard or the chickens when he’s painting, though. Its not just the
snapshotorthecanvasheseeseither.Itssomethingmuchbigger.Hegetsthislookinhiseyelikehes
transcended the yard, the neighborhood, the world. And as his big, callused hands sweep a tiny brush
againstthecanvas,itsalmostlikehisbodyhasbeenpossessedbysomegracefulspiritualbeing.
WhenIwaslittle,mydadwouldletmesitbesidehimontheporchwhilehepainted,aslongasI’dbe
quiet.I dont do quiet easily, but Idiscovered that after five or ten minutes withouta peep, he’d start
talking.
I’velearnedalotaboutmydadthatway.Hetoldmeallsortsofstoriesaboutwhatheddonewhenhe
wasmyage,andotherthings,too—likehowhegothisfirstjobdeliveringhay,andhowhewishedhe’d
finishedcollege.
When I got a little older, he still talked about himself and his childhood, but he also started asking
questionsaboutme.Whatwerewelearningatschool?WhatbookwasIcurrentlyreading?WhatdidI
thinkaboutthisorthat.
ThenonetimehesurprisedmeandaskedmeaboutBryce.WhywasIsocrazyaboutBryce?
Itoldhimabouthiseyesandhishairandthewayhischeeksblush,butIdontthinkIexplaineditvery
wellbecausewhenIwasdoneDadshookhisheadandtoldmeinsoft,heavywordsthatIneededtostart
lookingatthewholelandscape.
I didnt really know what he meant by that, but it made me want to argue with him. How could he
possiblyunderstandaboutBryce?Hedidntknowhim!
Butthiswasnotanarguingspot.Thosewerescatteredthroughoutthehouse,butnotouthere.
Wewerebothquietforarecord-breakingamountoftimebeforehekissedmeontheforeheadandsaid,
“Properlightingiseverything,Julianna.”
Properlighting?Whatwasthatsupposedtomean?Isattherewondering,butIwasafraidthatbyasking
I’d be admittingthatI wasn’tmature enoughto understand,and for some reasonitfelt obvious. LikeI
shouldunderstand.
After that he didnt talk so much about events as he did about ideas. And the older I got, the more
philosophicalheseemedtoget.Idontknowifhereallygotmorephilosophical orifhejustthoughtI
couldhandleitnowthatIwasinthedoubledigits.
Mostlythethingshetalkedaboutfloatedaroundme,butonceinawhilesomethingwouldhappenandI
wouldunderstandexactlywhathehadmeant.“Apaintingismorethanthesumofitsparts,”hewouldtell
me,andthengoontoexplainhowthecowbyitselfisjustacow,andthemeadowbyitselfisjustgrass
andflowers,andthesunpeekingthroughthetreesisjustabeamoflight,butputthemalltogetherand
youvegotmagic.
Iunderstoodwhathewassaying,butIneverfeltwhathewassayinguntilonedaywhenIwasupinthe
sycamoretree.
Thesycamoretreehadbeenatthetopofthehillforever.Itwasonabigvacantlot,givingshadeinthe
summerandaplaceforbirdstonestinthespring.Ithadabuilt-inslideforus,too.Itstrunkbentupand
aroundinalmostacompletespiral,anditwassomuchfuntoridedown.Mymomtoldmeshethoughtthe
treemusthavebeendamagedasasaplingbutsurvived,andnow,maybeahundredyearslater,itwasstill
there,thebiggesttreeshe’deverseen.“Atestimonytoendurance”iswhatshecalledit.
Ihadalwaysplayedinthetree,butIdidntbecomeaseriousclimberuntilthefifthgrade,whenIwent
uptorescueakitethatwasstuckinitsbranches.Idfirstspottedthekitefloatingfreethroughtheairand
thensawitdive-bombsomewhereupthehillbythesycamoretree.
I’ve flown kites before and I know—sometimes theyre gone forever, and sometimes theyre just
waitinginthemiddleoftheroadforyoutorescuethem.Kitescanbeluckyortheycanbeornery.Ivehad
bothkinds,andaluckykiteisdefinitelyworthchasingafter.
This kitelookedlucky to me. It wasn’t anything fancy, just anold-fashioned diamondwith blue and
yellowstripes.Butitstutteredalonginafriendlyway,andwhenitdive-bombed,itseemedtodosofrom
exhaustionasopposedtospite.Ornerykitesdive-bomboutofspite.Theynevergetexhaustedbecause
theywontstayuplongenoughtopoopout.Thirtyfeetuptheyjustsortofsmirkatyouandcrashforthe
funofit.
SoChampandIranuptoCollierStreet,andafterscoutingouttheroad,Champstartedbarkingatthe
sycamoretree.Ilookedupandspottedit,too,flashingblueandyellowthroughthebranches.
Itwasalongwaysup,butIthoughtI’dgiveitashot.Ishinniedupthetrunk,tookashortcutacrossthe
slide,andstartedclimbing.Champkeptagoodeyeonme,barkingmealong,andsoonIwashigherthan
I’deverbeen.Butstillthekiteseemedforeveraway.
ThenbelowmeInoticedBrycecomingaroundthecornerandthroughthevacantlot.AndIcouldtell
fromthewayhewaslookingupthatthiswashiskite.
Whatalucky,luckykitethiswasturningouttobe!
“Canyouclimbthathigh?”hecalleduptome.
“Sure!”Icalledback.Andup,up,upIwent!
Thebrancheswerestrong,withjusttherightamountofintersectionstomakeclimbingeasy.Andthe
higherIgot,themoreamazedIwasbytheview.Idneverseenaviewlikethat!Itwaslikebeinginan
airplaneabovealltherooftops,abovetheothertrees.Abovetheworld!
ThenIlookeddown.DownatBryce.AndsuddenlyIgotdizzyandweakintheknees.Iwasmilesoff
theground!Bryceshouted,“Canyoureachit?”
I caught my breath and managed to call down, “No problem!” then forced myself to concentrate on
thoseblueandyellowstripes,tofocusonthemandonlythemasIshinniedup,up,up.FinallyItouchedit;
Igraspedit;Ihadthekiteinmyhand!
But the string was tangled in the branches above and I couldnt seem to pull it free. Bryce called,
“Breakthestring!”andsomehowImanagedtodojustthat.
When I had the kite free, Ineeded a minute to rest. To recover before starting down. So instead of
lookingatthegroundbelowme,Iheldontightandlookedout.Outacrosstherooftops.
Thatswhenthefearofbeingupsohighbegantolift,andinitsplacecamethemostamazingfeeling
thatIwasflying.Justsoaringabovetheearth,sailingamongtheclouds.
ThenIbegantonoticehowwonderfulthebreezesmelled.Itsmelledlike…sunshine.Likesunshine
andwildgrassandpomegranatesandrain!Icouldn’tstopbreathingitin,fillingmylungsagainandagain
withthesweetestsmellI’deverknown.
Bryce called up, Are you stuck?” which brought me down to earth. Carefully I backed up, prized
stripesinhand,andasIworkedmywaydown,IcouldseeBrycecirclingthetree,watchingmetomake
sureIwasokay.
BythetimeIhittheslide,theheadyfeelingIdhadinthetreewaschangingintotheheadyrealization
thatBryceandIwerealone.
Alone!
MyheartwaspositivelyracingasIheldthekiteouttohim.Butbeforehecouldtakeit,Champnudged
mefrombehindandIcouldfeelhiscold,wetnoseagainstmyskin.
Againstmyskin?!
Igrabbedmyjeansinback,andthatswhenIrealizedtheseatofmypantswasrippedwideopen.
Brycelaughedalittlenervouslaugh,soIcouldtellheknew,andforonceminewerethecheeksthat
werebeetred.Hetookhiskiteandranoff,leavingmetoinspectthedamage.
Idideventuallygetovertheembarrassmentofmyjeans,butInevergotovertheview.Ikeptthinkingof
whatitfeltliketobeupsohighinthattree.Iwantedtoseeit,tofeelit,again.Andagain.
ItwasntlongbeforeIwasntafraidofbeingupsohighandfoundthespotthatbecamemyspot.Icould
sitthereforhours,justlookingoutattheworld.Sunsetswereamazing.Somedaysthey’dbepurpleand
pink,somedaystheydbeablazingorange,settingfiretocloudsacrossthehorizon.
Itwasonadaylikethatwhenmyfathersnotionofthewholebeinggreaterthanthesumofitsparts
movedfrommyheadtomyheart.Theviewfrommysycamorewasmorethanrooftopsandcloudsand
windandcolorscombined.
Itwasmagic.
AndIstartedmarvelingathowIwasfeelingbothhumbleandmajestic.Howwasthatpossible?How
couldIbesofullofpeaceandfullofwonder?Howcouldthissimpletreemakemefeelsocomplex?So
alive.
IwentupthetreeeverychanceIgot.Andinjuniorhighthatbecamealmosteverydaybecausethebus
toourschoolpicksuponCollierStreet,rightinfrontofthesycamoretree.
AtfirstIjustwantedtoseehowhighIcouldgetbeforethebuspulledup,butbeforelongIwasleaving
thehouseearlysoIcouldgetclearuptomyspottoseethesunrise,orthebirdsflutterabout,orjustthe
otherkidsconvergeonthecurb.
Itriedtoconvincethekidsatthebusstoptoclimbupwithme,evenalittleways,butallofthemsaid
theydidntwanttogetdirty.Turndownachancetofeelmagicforfearofalittledirt?Icouldntbelieve
it.
I’dnevertoldmymotheraboutclimbingthetree.Beingthetrulysensibleadultthatsheis,shewould
havetoldmeitwastoodangerous.Mybrothers,beingbrothers,wouldn’thavecared.
Thatleftmyfather.TheonepersonIknewwouldunderstand.Still,Iwasafraidtotellhim.He’dtell
mymotherand pretty soontheydinsistthatIstop.SoIkeptquiet,keptclimbing,andfeltasomewhat
lonelyjoyasIlookedoutovertheworld.
ThenafewmonthsagoIfoundmyselftalkingtothetree.Anentireconversation,justmeandatree.
AndontheclimbdownIfeltlikecrying.Whydidn’tIhavesomeonerealtotalkto?WhydidntIhavea
bestfriendlikeeveryoneelseseemedto?Sure,therewerekidsIknewatschool,butnoneofthemwere
closefriends.They’dhavenointerestinclimbingthetree.Insmellingthesunshine.
Thatnightafterdinnermyfatherwentoutsidetopaint.Inthecoldofthenight,undertheglareofthe
porchlight,hewentouttoputthefinishingtouchesonasunrisehe’dbeenworkingon.
Igotmyjacketandwentouttositbesidehim,quietasamouse.
Afterafewminuteshesaid,“Whatsonyourmind,sweetheart?”
InallthetimesIdsatouttherewithhim,he’dneveraskedmethat.Ilookedathimbutcouldntseemto
speak.
Hemixedtwohuesoforangetogether,andverysoftlyhesaid,“Talktome.”
Isighedsoheavilyitsurprisedevenme.“Iunderstandwhyyoucomeouthere,Dad.”
Hetriedkiddingme.“Wouldyoumindexplainingittoyourmother?”
“Really,Dad.Iunderstandnowaboutthewholebeinggreaterthanthesumoftheparts.”
Hestoppedmixing.“Youdo?Whathappened?Tellmeaboutit!
SoItoldhimaboutthesycamoretree.Abouttheviewandthesoundsandthecolorsandthewind,and
howbeingupsohighfeltlikeflying.Feltlikemagic.
He didnt interrupt me once, and when my confession was through, I looked at him and whispered,
“Wouldyouclimbuptherewithme?
Hethoughtaboutthisalongtime,thensmiledandsaid,“I’mnotmuchofaclimberanymore,Julianna,
butI’llgiveitashot,sure.Howaboutthisweekend,whenwe’vegotlotsofdaylighttoworkwith?”
“Great!
IwenttobedsoexcitedthatIdontthinkIsleptmorethanfiveminutesthewholenight.Saturdaywas
rightaroundthecorner.Icouldntwait!
ThenextmorningIracedtothebusstopextraearlyandclimbedthetree.Icaughtthesunrisingthrough
the clouds, sending streaks of fire from one end ofthe world to the other.And I was in the middle of
makingamentallistofallthethingsIwasgoingtoshowmyfatherwhenIheardanoisebelow.
Ilookeddown,andparkedrightbeneathmeweretwotrucks.Bigtrucks.Oneofthemwastowinga
long,emptytrailer,andtheotherhadacherrypickeronit—thekindtheyusetoworkonoverheadpower
linesandtelephonepoles.
Therewerefourmen standingaround talking, drinkingfrom thermoses, and Ialmostcalled down to
them, “Im sorry, but you cant park there … . That’s a bus stop!” Butbefore I could, one of the men
reachedintothebackofatruckandstartedunloadingtools.Gloves.Ropes.Achain.Earmuffs.Andthen
chainsaws.Threechainsaws.
AndstillIdidntgetit.Ikeptlookingaroundforwhatitwastheycouldpossiblybetheretocutdown.
Thenone ofthe kidswho ridesthe busshowedupand started talkingtothem,and prettysoonhe was
pointingupatme.
Oneofthemencalled,“Hey!Youbettercomedownfromthere.Wegottatakethisthingdown.”
Iheldonto thebranchtight,becausesuddenly itfeltasthoughI mightfall. Imanaged tochokeout,
“Thetree?”
“Yeah,nowcomeondown.”
“Butwhotoldyoutocutitdown?”
“Theowner!”hecalledback.
“Butwhy?”
EvenfromfortyfeetupIcouldseehimscowl.“Becausehe’sgonnabuildhimselfahouse,andhecant
verywelldothatwiththistreeintheway.Nowcomeon,girl,we’vegotworktodo!
Bythattimemostofthekidshadgatheredforthebus.Theywerentsayinganythingtome,justlooking
upatmeandturningfromtimetotimetotalktoeachother.ThenBryceappeared,soIknewthebuswas
abouttoarrive.Isearchedacrosstherooftopsandsureenough,thereitwas,lessthanfourblocksaway.
Myheartwascrazywithpanic.Ididntknowwhattodo!Icouldntleaveandletthemcutdownthe
tree!Icried,“Youcantcutitdown!Youjustcan’t!
Oneofthemenshookhisheadandsaid,Iamthisclosetocallingthepolice.Youaretrespassingand
obstructingprogressonacontractedjob.Nowareyougoingtocomedownorarewegoingtocutyou
down?”
Thebuswasthreeblocksaway.I’dnevermissedschoolforanyreasonotherthanlegitimateillness,
butIknewinmyheartthatIwasgoingtomissmyride.Youregoingtohavetocutmedown!”Iyelled.
ThenIhadanidea.Theydnevercutitdownifallofuswereinthetree.They’dhavetolisten!“Hey,
guys!” I called to my classmates. “Get up here with me! They can’t cut it down if we’re all up here!
Marcia!Tony!Bryce!C’mon,youguys,don’tletthemdothis!
Theyjuststoodthere,staringupatme.
Icouldseethebus,oneblockaway.Comeon,youguys!Youdonthavetocomeupthishigh.Justa
littleways.Please!
Thebusblastedupandpulledtothecurbinfrontofthetrucks,andwhenthedoorsfoldedopen,oneby
onemyclassmatesclimbedonboard.
What happened after thatis a bit of a blur. I remember the neighbors gathering, and the police with
megaphones.Irememberthefirebrigade,andsomeguysayingitwashisblastedtreeandI’ddarnwell
bettergetoutofit.
Somebodytracked down my mother, who cried and pleadedandactednot at all theway a sensible
mothershould,butIwasnotcomingdown.Iwasnotcomingdown.
Thenmyfathercameracingup.Hejumpedoutofhispickuptruck,andaftertalkingwithmymotherfor
afewminutes,hegottheguyinthecherrypickertogivehimaliftuptowhereIwas.Afterthatitwasall
over.Istartedcryingandtriedtogethimtolookoutovertherooftops,buthewouldn’t.Hesaidthatno
viewwasworthhislittlegirlssafety.
Hegotmedownandhetookmehome,onlyIcouldntstaythere.Icouldn’tstandthesoundofchain
sawsinthedistance.
SoDadtookmewithhimtowork,andwhileheputupablockwall,Isatinhistruckandcried.
Imust’vecriedfortwoweeksstraight.Oh,sure,IwenttoschoolandIfunctionedthebestIcould,butI
didntgothereonthebus.Istartedridingmybikeinstead,takingthelongwaysoIwouldn’thavetogoup
toCollierStreet.Uptoapileofsawdustthatusedtobetheearthsmostmagnificentsycamoretree.
ThenoneeveningwhenIwaslockedupinmyroom,myfathercameinwithsomethingunderatowel.I
couldtellitwasapaintingbecausethatshowhetransportstheimportantoneswhenheshowstheminthe
park.Hesatdown,restingthepaintingonthefloorinfrontofhim.“Ialwayslikedthattreeofyours,”he
said.“Evenbeforeyoutoldmeaboutit.”
“Oh,Dad,it’sokay.I’llgetoverit.”
“No,Julianna.No,youwont.”
Istartedcrying.“Itwasjustatree….”
“Ineverwantyoutoconvinceyourselfofthat.YouandIbothknowitisnttrue.”
“ButDad…”
“Bearwithmeaminute,wouldyou?”Hetookadeepbreath.“Iwantthespiritofthattreetobewith
youalways.Iwantyoutorememberhowyoufeltwhenyouwereupthere.”Hehesitatedamoment,then
handedmethepainting.“SoImadethisforyou.”
I pulled off the towel, and there was my tree. My beautiful, majestic sycamore tree. Through the
brancheshe’dpaintedthefireofsunrise,anditseemedtomeIcouldfeelthewind.Andwayupinthe
treewasatinygirllookingoffintothedistance,hercheeksflushedwithwind.Withjoy.Withmagic.
“Dontcry,Julianna.Iwantittohelpyou,nothurtyou.”Iwipedthetearsfrommycheeksandgavea
mightysniff.“Thankyou,Daddy,”Ichokedout.“Thankyou.”
Ihungthepaintingacrossthe roomfrom my bed. Its thefirstthing Iseeeverymorningandthe last
thing Iseeeverynight.And nowthatIcanlook atitwithoutcrying,Iseemore thanthetree andwhat
beingupinitsbranchesmeanttome.
Iseethedaythatmyviewofthingsaroundmestartedchanging.
Bryce:Brawk-Brawk-Brawk!
Eggs scare me. Chickens, too. And buddy, you can laugh at that all you want, but Im being dead
serioushere.
Itstartedinthesixthgradewitheggs.
Andasnake.
AndtheBakerbrothers.
TheBakerbrothers’namesareMattandMike,butevennowIcan’ttellyouwhichoneswhich.You
neverseeonewithouttheother.Andeventhoughtheyrenottwins,theydolookandsoundprettymuch
thesame,andtheyrebothinLynettasclass,somaybeoneofthemgotheldback.
AlthoughIcantexactlyseeateachervoluntarilyhavingeitherofthosemaniacstwoyearsinarow.
Regardless,MattandMikearetheoneswhotaughtmethatsnakeseateggs.AndwhenIsaytheyeat
eggs,I’mtalkingtheyeatthemrawandshell-onwhole.
Iprobablywould’vegonemy entirelifewithoutthislittlebitofreptilian triviaifithadntbeenfor
Lynetta.Lynettahadthismajor-leaguethingforSkylerBrown,wholivesaboutthreeblocksdown,and
everychanceshegot,shewentdowntheretohangoutwhilehepracticedthedrums.Well,boom-boom-
whap, what did I care, right? But then Skyler and Juli’s brothers formed a band, which they named
MysteryPisser.
When mymom heard aboutit, she completely wigged out.“What kindof parents would allow their
childrentobeinabandnamedMysteryPisser?Itsvile.Itsdisgusting!
“Thatsthewholepoint,Mom,”Lynettatriedtoexplain.“Itdoesntmeananything.Itsjusttogetarise
outofoldpeople.”
“Areyoucallingmeold,younglady?Becauseitscertainlygettingariseoutofme!
Lynettajustshrugged,implyingthatmymomcoulddrawherownconclusion.
“Go!Gotoyourroom,”mymothersnapped.
“Forwhat?”Lynettasnappedback.“Ididntsayathing!
“Youknowperfectlywellwhatfor.Nowyougointhereandadjustyourattitude,younglady!
SoLynettagotanotheroneofherteenagetime-outs,andafterthatanytimeLynettawastwominuteslate
coming home for dinner,my mother would messenger me down to Skylers house to drag her home. It
mighthavebeenembarrassingforLynetta,butitwasworseforme.Iwasstillinelementaryschool,and
theMysteryPisserguyswereinhighschool.Theywereripeandragged,ragingpowerchordsthroughthe
neighborhood,whileIlookedlikeI’djustgottenbackfromSundayschool.
I’dgetsonervousgoingdowntherethatmyvoicewouldsqueakwhenI’dtellLynettaitwastimefor
dinner.Itliterallysqueaked.ButafterawhilethebanddroppedMysteryfromtheirname,andPisserand
itsentouragegotusedtomeshowingup.Andinsteadofglaringatme,theystartedsayingstufflike,“Hey,
babybrother,comeonin!“Hey,Brycieboy,wannajam?”
This,then,ishowIwoundupinSkylerBrownsgarage,surroundedbyhighschoolkids,watchinga
boaconstrictorswalloweggs.SinceI’dalreadyseenitdownaratintheBakerbrothers’bedroom,Pisser
hadlostatleastsomeoftheelementofsurprise.Plus,Ipickeduponthefactthatthey’dbeensavingthis
littleshowtofreakmeout,andIreallydidntwanttogivethemthesatisfaction.
Thiswasnteasy,though,becausewatchingasnakeswallowaneggisactuallymuchcreepierthanyou
mightthink.Theboaopeneditsmouthtoanenormoussize,thenjusttooktheegginandglub!Wecould
seeitrolldownitsthroat.
Butthatwasntall.Afterthesnakehadglubbeddownthreeeggs,Matt-or-Mikesaid,“So,Brycieboy,
howshegonnadigestthose?”
IshruggedandtriednottosqueakwhenIanswered,“Stomachacid?
Heshookhisheadandpretendedtoconfide,Heneedsatree.Oraleg.”Hegrinnedatme.“Wanna
volunteeryours?”
Ibackedawayalittle.Icouldjustseethatmonstertrytoswallowmylegwholeasanafter-eggchaser.
“N-no!
Helaughedandpointedattheboaslitheringacrosstheroom.“Aw,toobad.He’sgoingtheotherway.
He’sgonnausethepianoinstead!
Thepiano!Whatkindofsnakewasthis?Howcouldmysisterstandbeinginthesameroomasthese
dementos?Ilookedather,andeventhoughshewaspretendingtobecoolwiththesnake,IknowLynetta
—shewastotallycreepedoutbyit.
Thesnakewrappeditselfaroundthepianolegaboutthreetimes,andthenMatt-or-Mikeputhishands
upandsaid,“Shhh!Shhh!Everybodyquiet.Heregoes!
Thesnake stopped moving,thenflexed. And as it flexed,we couldhearthe eggscrunchinsidehim.
“Oh,gross!”thegirlswailed.“Whoa,dude!”theguysallsaid.MikeandMattsmiledateachotherreal
bigandsaid,“Dinnerisserved!
I tried to act cool about the snake, but the truth is I started having bad dreams about the thing
swallowingeggs.Andrats.Andcats.
Andme.
Thenthereal-lifenightmarebegan.
OnemorningabouttwoweeksaftertheboashowinSkylersgarage,Juliappearsonourdoorstep,and
what’sshegotinherhands?Ahalf-cartonofeggs.ShebouncesaroundlikeitsChristmas,saying,Hiya,
Bryce!RememberAbbyandBonnieandClydeandDexter?EuniceandFlorence?”
Ijuststaredather.SomehowIrememberedSanta’sreindeeralittledifferentthanthat.
“Youknow…mychickens?TheonesIhatchedforthesciencefairlastyear?”
“Oh,right.HowcouldIforget.”
“Theyre laying eggs!” She pushedthecarton into my hands. Here, take these!Theyre for youand
yourfamily.”
“Oh.Uh,thanks,”Isaid,andclosedthedoor.
I used to really like eggs. Especially scrambled, with bacon or sausage. But even without the little
snakeincident,Iknewthatnomatterwhatyoudidtotheseeggs,theywouldtastenothingbutfoultome.
Theseeggscamefromthechickensthathadbeenthechicksthathadhatchedfromtheeggsthathadbeen
incubatedbyJuliBakerforourfifth-gradesciencefair.
ItwasclassicJuli.Shetotallydominatedthefair,andgetthis—herprojectwasallaboutwatching
eggs.Myfriend, there isnota lotofaction toreportonwhenyoure incubating eggs.Youve gotyour
light,you’vegotyourcontainer,youvegotsomeshreddednewspaper,andthat’sit.You’redone.
Juli,though,managedtowriteaninch-thickreport,plusshemadediagramsandcharts—Imtalking
linechartsandbarchartsandpiecharts—abouttheactivityofeggs.Eggs!
Shealsomanagedtotimetheeggssothatthey’dhatchthenightofthefair.Howdoesapersondothat?
Here Ive got a live-action erupting volcano thatI’ve worked pretty stinking hard on, and all anybody
caresaboutisJulischickspeckingoutoftheirshells.Ievenwentovertotakealookformyself,and
I’mbeingcompletelyobjectivehere—itwasboring.Theypeckedforaboutfiveseconds,thenjustlay
thereforfiveminutes.
I got to hear Juli jabber away tothe judges, too.She had a pointer — can you believe that? Not a
pencil,anactualretractablepointer,soshecouldreachacrossherincubatorandtaponthischartorthat
diagramassheexplainedtheexcitementofwatchingeggsgrowfortwenty-onedays.Theonlythingshe
could’vedonetobemoreoverboardwasputonachickencostume,andbuddy,I’mconvinced—ifshe’d
thoughtofit,shewouldhavedoneit.
Buthey—Iwasoverit.ItwasjustJulibeingJuli,right?ButallofasuddenthereIamayearlater,
holdingacartonofhome-growneggs.AndImhavingahardtimenotgettingannoyedalloveragainabout
her stupid blue-ribbon project when my mother leans out from the hallway and says, “Who was that,
honey?Whathaveyougotthere?Eggs?”
Icouldtellbythelookonherfacethatshewashottoscramble.“Yeah,”Isaid,andhandedthemtoher.
“ButImhavingcereal.”
Sheopenedthecarton,thencloseditwithasmile.“Hownice!”shesaid.“Whobroughtthemover?
“Juli.Shegrewthem.”
“Grewthem?
“Well,herchickensdid.”
“Oh?” Her smile started falling as she opened the carton again. “Is that so. I didn’t know she
had…chickens.”
“Remember?YouandDadspentanhourwatchingthemhatchatlastyearssciencefair?”
“Well,howdoweknowthere’renot…chicksinsidetheseeggs?”
Ishrugged.“LikeIsaid,I’mhavingcereal.”
Weallhadcereal,butwhatwetalkedaboutwereeggs.Mydadthoughttheydbejustfine—he’dhad
farm-fresheggswhenhewasakidandsaidtheyweredelicious.Mymother,though,couldntgetpastthe
idea thatshe mightbecracking opena deadchick,and prettysoondiscussionturned tothe role ofthe
rooster—somethingmeandmyCheerioscould’vedonewithout.
Finally Lynetta said, “If they had a rooster, dont you think we’d know? Don’t you think the whole
neighborhoodwouldknow?”
Hmmm,weallsaid,goodpoint.Butthenmymompipesupwith,“Maybetheygotitde-yodeled.You
know—liketheyde-barkdogs?
“Ade-yodeledrooster,”mydadsays,likeitsthemostridiculousthinghe’severheard.Thenhelooks
atmymomandrealizesthathe’dbewaybetteroffgoingalongwithherde-yodeledideathanmakingfun
ofher.“Hmmm,”hesays,“I’veneverheardofsuchathing,butmaybeso.”
Lynettashrugsandsaystomymom,“Sojustaskthem,whydontyou.CallupMrs.Bakerandaskher.”
“Oh,”mymomsays.“Well,I’dhatetocallhereggsintoquestion.Itdoesntseemverypolite,now,
doesit?”
“JustaskMattorMike,”IsaytoLynetta.
Shescowlsatmeandhisses,“Shutup.”
“What?What’dIdonow?
“HaventyounoticedIhaventbeengoingdownthere,youidiot?”
“Lynetta!”mymomsays.Likethisisthefirsttimeshe’sheardmysistertalktomeorsomething.
“Well,itstrue!Howcanhenothavenoticed?”
“Iwasgoingtoaskyouaboutthat,honey.Didsomethinghappen?”
Lynettastandsupandshovesherchairin.“Likeyoucare,”shesnaps,andchargesdowntoherroom.
“Oh,boy,”mydadsays.
Momsays,“Excuseme,”andfollowsLynettadownthehall.
Whenmymothersgone,mydadsays,“So,son,whydon’tyoujustaskJuli?
“Dad!
“Itsjustalittlequestion,Bryce.Noharm,nofoul.”
“Butitllgetmeahalf-houranswer!
Hestudiesmeforaminute,thensays,“Noboyshouldbethisafraidofagirl.”
“Imnotafraidofher…!
“Ithinkyouare.”
“Dad!
“Seriously,son.Iwantyoutogetusananswer.Conqueryourfearandgetusananswer.”
“Towhetherornottheyhavearooster?”
“Thatsright.”Hegetsupandclearshiscerealbowl,saying,“I’vegottogettoworkandyouvegotto
gettoschool.Illexpectareporttonight.”
Great.Justgreat. The day was doomed before ithad started. But then atschool when I toldGarrett
aboutwhathad happened, he just shrugged and said, “Well, she lives right across the streetfrom you,
right?”
“Yeah,so?”
“Sojustgolookoverthefence.”
“Youmeanspy?”
“Sure.”
“But…howcanItellifoneofthem’saroosterornot?”
“Roostersare…Idontknow…bigger.Andtheyhavemorefeathers.”
“Feathers?LikeIvegottogoandcountfeathers?”
“No,stupid!Mymomsaysthatthemale’salwaysbrighter.”Thenhelaughsandsays,“Althoughinyour
caseImnotsosure.”
“Thanks.Youaregivingmebig-timehelphere,buddy.Ireallyappreciateit.”
“Look, a roosters going to be bigger and have brighter feathers. You know, those long ones in the
back?Theyreredderorblackerorwhatever.Anddontroostershavesomerubberyredstuffgrowingoff
thetopoftheirhead?Andsomeofftheirneck,too?Yeah,theroostersgotallsortsofrubberyredstuff
allarounditsface.”
“SoyouresayingI’msupposedtolookoverthefenceforbigfeathersandrubberyredstuff.”
“Well,cometothinkofit,chickenshavethatrubberyredstuff,too.Justnotasmuchofit.”
Irolledmyeyesathimandwasabouttosay,Forgetit,I’lljustaskJuli,butthenhesays,“Illcome
withyouifyouwant.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,dude.Seriously.”
Andthat,myfriend,ishowIwoundupspyingovertheBakers’backfencewithGarrettAndersonat
three-thirtythatafternoon.Notmychoiceofcovertoperations,butanecessaryoneinordertoreportback
tomydadthatnightatdinner.
Wegottherefast,too.ThebellrangandwebasicallychargedoffcampusbecauseIfiguredifwegotto
theBakers’quickenough,wecouldlookandleavebeforeJuliwasanywherenearherhouse.Wedidn’t
evendropoffourbackpacks.Wewentstraightdownthealleyandstartedspying.
ItsnotreallynecessarytolookovertheBakersfence.Youcanseealmostaswelllookingthroughit.
But Garrett keptsticking hisheadup,soIfigured Ishouldtoo,althoughintheback ofmymind Iwas
awarethatGarrettdidnthavetoliveinthisneighborhood—Idid.
The backyard was a mess. Big surprise. The bushes were out of control, there was some kind of
hodgepodgewood-and-wirecoopofftooneside,andtheyardwasn’tgrass,itwashighlyfertilizeddirt.
Garrett was the first to notice their dog, sacked out on the patio between two sorry-looking folding
chairs.Hepointsathimandsays,“Youthinkhe’sgoingtogiveustrouble?”
“Werenotgoingtobeherelongenoughtogetintrouble!Wherearethosestupidchickens?
“Probablyinthecoop,”hesays,thenpicksuparockandthrowsitatthemessofplywoodandchicken
wire.
Atfirstallwehearisabunchoffeathersflapping,butthenoneofthebirdscomesflutteringout.Not
veryfar,butenoughsowecanseeitsgotfeathersandrubberyredstuff.
“So?”Iaskhim.“Isthatarooster?”
Heshrugs.“Lookslikeachickentome.”
“Howcanyoutell?
Heshrugsagain.“Justdoes.”
Wewatchitscratchingatthedirtforaminute,andthenIask,“Whatsahen,anyway?
“Ahen?”
“Yeah.Yougotroosters,yougotchickens,andthenthere’shens.What’sahen?
“Itsoneofthose,”hesays,pointingintotheBakers’backyard.
“Thenwhatsachicken?”
HelooksatmelikeI’mcrazy.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“Chickens!Whatsachicken?
Hetakesastepbackfrommeandsays,Brycieboy,youarelosinit.That’sachicken!”Hestoops
downtopickupanotherrock,andhe’sjustabouttoletitflywhenthesliding-glassdoortothebackpatio
opensupandJulistepsoutside.
Webothduck.Andaswe’recheckingheroutthroughthefence,Isay,“Whendidshegethome?”
Garrettgrumbles,“Whileyouwerelosingitaboutchickens.”Thenhewhispers,Buthey,this’llwork
great.She’sgotabasket,right?She’sprobablycomingouttocollecteggs.”
Firstshehadtogetallmushywiththatmangymuttofhers.Shegotdownandnuzzledandruffledand
pattedandhugged,tellinghimwhatagoodboyhewas.Andwhenshefinallylethimgobacktosleep,she
hadtostopandcooatthebirdGarretthadscaredout,andthenshestartedsinging.Singing.Atthetopof
herlungs,shegoes,“I’vegotsunshineonacloudyday.Whenitscoldoutsi-ye-yide,Ivegotthemonth
ofMay.Iguessyou’dsay,whatcanmakemefeelthisway?Mygirls.Talkin’boutmylittlegir-ur-
rls…”Shelooksinsidethecoopandcoos,“Hello,Flo!Goodafternoon,Bonnie!Comeonout,punkin!
Thecoopwasntbigenoughforhertowalkin.Itwasmorelikeaminilean-toshackthatevenherdog
wouldhavetroublecrawlingin.DoesthatstopJuliBaker?No.Shegetsdownonherhandsandknees
anddivesrightin.Chickenscomesquawkingandflappingout,andprettysoontheyard’sfullofbirds,and
allwecanseeofJuliisherpoop-coveredshoes.
Thatsnot allwe canhear,though.Sheswarbling insidethat coop, going, “I don’t needmoney,no
fortuneorfaaa-ya-yame.Igotalltheriches,baby,anyonecanclaim.Well,Iguessyou’dsay,whatcan
makemefeelthisway?Mygirls.Talkin’’boutmylittlegir-ur-rls,mygirls…”
AtthispointIwasntcheckingthechickensoutforrubberyredstufforfeathers.Iwaslookingatthe
bottomofJuliBakersfeet,wonderinghowintheworldapersoncouldbesohappytunnelingthrougha
dilapidatedchickencoopwithpoopstuckalloverhershoes.
Garrettgotmebackontrack.“Theyreallchickens,”hesays.“Lookat’em.”
Iquit checking outJulis shoes and startedchecking out birds. The first thing Idid wascountthem.
One-two-three-four-five-six.Allaccountedfor.Afterall,howcouldanyoneforgetshe’dhatchedsix?It
wastheall-timeschoolrecord—everyoneinthecountyhadheardaboutthat.
ButIwasnotreallysurehowtoaskGarrettaboutwhathehadsaid.Yeah,theywereallchickens,but
what did that mean? I sure didnt want him coming down on me again, but it still didnt make sense.
FinallyIaskedhim,“Youmeanthere’snorooster?”
“Correctomundo.”
“Howcanyoutell?
Heshrugged.“Roostersstrut.”
“Strut.”
“Thatsright.Andlook—noneofthemhavelongfeathers.Orverymuchofthatrubberyredstuff.”He
nodded.“Yeah.Theyredefinitelyallchickens.”
Thatnightmyfathergotrighttothepoint.“So,son,missionaccomplished?”heaskedashestabbed
intoamountainoffettuccineandwhirledhisforkaround.
Iattackedmynoodlestooandgavehimasmile.“Uhhuh,”IsaidasIsatuptalltodeliverthenews.
“Theyreallchickens.”
Theturningofhisforkcametoagrindinghalt.“And…?”
Icouldtellsomethingwaswrong,butIdidntknowwhat.Itriedtokeepthesmileplasteredonmyface
asIsaid,“Andwhat?”
Herestedhisforkandstaredatme.“Isthatwhatshesaid?‘They’reallchickens’?”
“Uh,notexactly.”
“Thenexactlywhatdidshesay?”
“Uh…shedidn’texactlysayanything.”
“Meaning?”
“MeaningIwentoverthereandtookalookformyself.”Itriedveryhardtosoundlikethiswasamajor
accomplishment,buthewasn’tbuying.
“Youdidntaskher?”
“I didnt have to. Garrett knows a lot about chickens, and we went over there and found out for
ourselves.”
LynettacamebackfromrinsingtheRomanosauceoffhersevenandahalfnoodles,thenreachedforthe
saltandscowledatme,saying,“You’rethechicken.”
“Lynetta!”mymothersaid.“Benice.”
Lynettastoppedshakingthesalt.“Mother,hespied.Yougetit?Hewentoverthereandlookedoverthe
fence.Areyousayingyou’reokaywiththat?”
Mymomturnedtome.“Bryce?Isthattrue?”
Everyonewasstaringatmenow,andIfeltlikeIhadtosaveface.“Whatsthebigdeal?Youtoldmeto
findoutaboutherchickens,andIfoundoutaboutherchickens!
“Brawk-brawk-brawk!mysisterwhispered.
Myfatherstillwasnteating.“Andwhatyoufoundout,”hesaid,likehewasmeasuringeveryword,
“wasthattheyreall…chickens.”
“Right.”
Hesighed,thentookthatbiteofnoodlesandcheweditforthelongesttime.
ItfeltlikeIwassinkingfast,butIcouldntfigureoutwhy.SoItriedtobailoutwith,Andyouguys
cangoaheadandeatthoseeggs,buttheresnowayI’mgoingtotouchthem,sodontevenask.”
Mymotherslookingbackandforthfrommydadtomewhilesheeatshersalad,andIcantellshe’s
waitingforhimtoaddressmyadventureasaneighborhoodoperative.Butsincehe’snotsayinganything,
sheclearsherthroatandsays,“Whysthat?”
“Becausetheres…well,theres…Idontknowhowtosaythisnicely.”
“Justsayit,”myfathersnaps.
“Well,there’s,youknow,excrementeverywhere.”
“Oh,gross!”mysistersays,throwingdownherfork.
“Youmeanchickendroppings?”mymotherasks.
“Yeah.There’snotevenalawn.Itsalldirtand,uh,youknow,chickenturds.Thechickenswalkinit
andpeckthroughitand…”
“Oh,gross!”Lynettawails.
“Well,itstrue!
Lynettastandsupandsays,“Youexpectmetoeatafterthis?”andstalksoutoftheroom.
“Lynetta!Youhavetoeatsomething,”mymothercallsafterher.
“No,Idont!”sheshoutsback;thenasecondlatershesticksherheadbackintothediningroomand
says, “And don’t expect me to eat any of those eggs either, Mother. Does the word salmonella mean
anythingtoyou?”
Lynetta takes off downthe hall and mymother says, “Salmonella?” She turns tomy father. “Doyou
supposetheycouldhavesalmonella?”
“Idontknow,Patsy.I’mmoreconcernedthatoursonisacoward.”
“Acoward!Rick,please.Bryceisnosuchthing.He’sawonderfulchildwho’s—”
“Who’safraidofagirl.”
“Dad,Imnotafraidofher,shejustbugsme!
“Why?”
“Youknowwhy!Shebugsyou,too.Shesoverthetopabouteverything!
“Bryce,Iaskedyoutoconqueryourfear,butallyoudidwasgiveintoit.Ifyouwereinlovewithher,
thatwouldbeonething.Loveissomethingtobeafraidof,butthis,thisisembarrassing.Soshetalkstoo
much,soshestooenthusedabouteverylittlething,sowhat?Getin,getyourquestionanswered,andget
out.Standuptoher,forcryinoutloud!
“Rick…,”mymomwassaying,“Rick,calmdown.Hedidfindoutwhatyouaskedhimto—”
“No,hedidn’t!
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Hetellsmetheyreallchickens!Ofcoursetheyreallchickens!Thequestionishowmanyarehens,
andhowmanyareroosters.”
Icouldalmostheartheclickinmybrain,andman,Ifeltlikeacompletedoofus.Nowonderhewas
disgusted with me. I was an idiot! They were all chickens … du-uh! Garrett acted like he was some
expertonchickens,andhedidntknowdiddly-squat!WhyhadIlistenedtohim?
Butitwastoolate.MydadwasconvincedIwasacoward,andtogetmeoverit,hedecidedthatwhat
IshoulddowastakethecartonofeggsbacktotheBakersandtellthemwedidnteateggs,orthatwe
wereallergictothem,orsomething.
Thenmymombuttsinwith,“Whatareyouteachinghimhere,Rick?Noneofthatistrue.Ifhereturns
them,shouldnthetellthemthetruth?”
“What,thatyoureafraidofsalmonellapoisoning?”
“Me?Arentyoualittleconcerned,too?”
“Patsy,that’snotthepoint.Thepointis,Iwillnothaveacowardforason!”
“Butteachinghimtolie?
“Fine.Thenjustthrowthemaway.ButfromnowonIexpectyoutolookthatlittletigersquareinthe
eye,youhearme?
“Yes,sir.”
“Okay,then.”
I was off the hook for all of about eight days. Then there she was again, at seven in the morning,
bouncingupanddownonourporchwitheggsinherhands.“Hi,Bryce!Hereyougo.”
Itriedtolookhersquareintheeyeandtellher,Nothanks,butshewassodarnedhappy,andIwasnt
reallyawakeenoughtotacklethetiger.Shewounduppushinganothercartonintomyhands,andIwound
upditchingtheminthekitchentrashbeforemyfathersatdowntobreakfast.
This went on for two years. Two years! And it gotto a pointwhere it was justpart ofmy morning
routine.IdbeonthelookoutforJulisoIcouldwhipthedooropenbeforeshehadthechancetoknockor
ringthebell,andthenIdburytheeggsinthetrashbeforemydadshowedup.
ThencamethedayIblewit.Julidactuallybeenmakingherselfprettyscarcebecauseitwasaround
thetimetheydtakenthesycamoretreedown,butsuddenlyonemorningshewasbackonourdoorstep,
deliveringeggs.Itookthem,asusual,andIwenttochuckthem,asusual.Butthekitchentrashwassofull
thattherewasntanyroomforthecarton,soIputitontop,pickedupthetrash,andbeatitoutthefront
doortoemptyeverythingintothegarbagecanoutside.
Well,guesswho’sjuststandingtherelikeastatueonmyporch?
TheEggChick.
Iaboutspilledthetrashallovertheporch.“Whatareyoustilldoinghere?”Iaskedher.
“I…Idontknow.Iwasjust…thinking.”
“Aboutwhat?”Iwasdesperate.Ineededadistraction.Somewayaroundherwiththisgarbagebefore
shenoticedwhatwassittingrightthereontop.
Shelookedawaylikeshewasembarrassed.JuliBakerembarrassed?Ididn’tthinkitwaspossible.
Whatever.Thegoldenopportunitytowhipasoggymagazineovertheeggcartonhadpresenteditself,
andbuddy,Itookit.ThenItriedtomakeafastbreakforthegarbagecaninthesideyard,onlyshebody-
blockedme.Seriously.Shesteppedrightinmywayandputherarmsoutlikeshe’sguardingthegoal.
Shechasedmeandblockedmeagain.“Whathappened?”shewantstoknow.“Didtheybreak?”
Perfect.Whyhadn’tIthoughtofthat?“Yeah,Juli,”Itoldher.“AndI’mrealsorryaboutthat.”Butwhat
I’mthinkingis,Please,God,ohplease,God,letmemakeittothegarbagecan.
Godmust’vebeensleepingin.Julitackledthetrashandpulledoutherpreciouslittlecartonofeggs,
andshecouldtellrightoffthattheywerentbroken.Theyweren’tevencracked.
ShestoodfrozenwiththeeggsinherhandswhileIdumpedtherestofthetrash.“Whydidyouthrow
themout?”sheasked,buthervoicedidntsoundlikeJuliBakersvoice.Itwasquiet.Andshaky.
SoItoldherwewereafraidofsalmonellapoisoningbecauseheryardwasamessandthatwewere
justtryingtospareherfeelings.Itoldittoherlikewewererightandshewaswrong,butIfeltlikeajerk.
Acompletecluck-facedjerk.
Thenshetellsmethatacoupleofneighborshavebeenbuyingeggsoffher.Buyingthem.AndwhileIm
comingtogripswiththisincrediblebitofnews,shewhipsouthermentalcalculator.“DoyourealizeI’ve
lostoverahundreddollarsgivingtheseeggstoyou?”Thensheracesacrossthestreetinafloodoftears.
AsmuchasItriedtotellmyselfthatIhadn’taskedherfortheeggs—Ihadn’tsaidwewantedthemor
neededthemorlikedthem—thefactwas,I’dneverseenJulicrybefore.Notwhenshe’dbrokenherarm
inP.E.,notwhenshedbeenteasedatschoolorditchedbyherbrothers.Notevenwhentheydcutdown
thesycamoretree.I’mprettysureshecriedthen,butIdidn’tactuallyseeit.Tome,JuliBakerhadalways
beentootoughtocry.
Iwentdowntomyroomtopackmystuffforschool,feelinglikethebiggestjerktoeverhittheplanet.
I’dbeensneakingaroundthrowingouteggsforovertwoyears,avoidingher,avoidingmyfather—what
didthatmakeme?Whyhadn’tIjuststoodupandsaid,Nothanks,dontwantem,dontneedem,dont
like’em….Givethemtothesnake,whydontyou?Something!
WasIreallyafraidofhurtingherfeelings?
OrwasIafraidofher?
Juli:TheEggs
Aftertheycutdownthesycamoretree,itseemedlikeeverythingelsefellapart,too.Champdied.And
thenIfoundoutabouttheeggs.ItwasChamp’stimetogo,andeventhoughIstillmisshim,Ithinkit’s
beeneasierformetodealwithhisdeaththanithasbeenformetodealwiththetruthabouttheeggs.I
stillcannotbelieveitabouttheeggs.
Theeggscamebeforethechickensinourcase,butthedogcamebeforethemboth.OnenightwhenI
wasaboutsixyearsold,Dadcamehomefromworkwithafull-growndogtieddowninthebackofhis
truck.Someonehadhititinthemiddleofanintersection,andDadhadstoppedtoseehowbadlyitwas
hurt. Then he noticed that the poor thing was skinny as a rail and didn’t have any tags. Starving and
completelydisoriented,”hetoldmymother.“Canyouimaginesomeoneabandoningtheirdoglikethat?”
The whole family had converged on the front porch, and I could hardly contain myself. A dog! A
wonderful,happy,pantydog!IrealizenowthatChampwasnevermuchofalooker,butwhenyouresix,
anydog—nomatterhowmangy—isaglorious,huggablecreature.
Helookedprettygoodtomybrothers,too,butfromthewaymymothersfacewaspinched,Icouldtell
shewasthinking,Abandonthisdog?Oh,Icanseeit.Icandefinitelyseeit.Whatshesaid,though,was
simply,“Thereisnoroomforthatanimalinthishouse.”
“Trina,”mydadsaid,“it’snotamatterofownership.Itsamatterofcompassion.”
“Yourenotspringingitonmeasa…apet,then?
“Thatisdefinitelynotmyintention.”
“Well,thenwhatdoyouintendtodo?”
“Givehimadecentmeal,abath…thenmaybewe’llplaceanadandfindhimahome.”
Sheeyedhimfromacrossthethreshold.“There’llbeno‘maybe’aboutit.”
Mybrotherssaid,“Wedon’tgettokeephim?”
“Thatsright.”
“ButMo-om,”theymoaned.
“Itsnotopentodiscussion,”shesaid.“Hegetsabath,hegetsameal,hegetsanadinthepaper.”
MyfatherputonearmaroundMattsshoulderandtheotheraroundMike’s.Someday,boys,we’llget
apuppy.”
Mymotherwasalreadyheadingbackinside,butoverhershouldercame,“Notuntilyoulearntokeep
yourroomneat,boys!
Bytheendoftheweek,thedogwasnamedChamp.Bytheendofthenextweek,he’dmadeitfromthe
backyardintothekitchenarea.Andnottoolongafterthat,hewasallmovedin.Itseemednobodywanted
afull-growndogwithahappybark.Nobodybutfour-fifthsoftheBakerfamily,anyway.
Thenmymotherstartednoticinganodor.Amysteriousodorofindeterminateorigin.Wealladmitted
wesmelledit,too,butwheremymotherwasconvinceditwasEaudeChamp,wedisagreed.Shehadus
bathinghimsooftenthatitcouldntpossiblybehim.Weeachsniffedhimoutprettygoodandhesmelled
perfectlyrosy.
MypersonalsuspicionwasthatMattandMikeweretheonesnotbathingenough,butIdidn’twantto
getcloseenoughtosniffthem.Andsinceourcampwasdividedonjustwhotheculpritorculpritswere,
the odor was dubbed the Mystery Smell. Whole dinnertime discussions revolved around the Mystery
Smell,whichmybrothersfoundamusingandmymotherdidnot.
Thenonedaymymothercrackedthecase.AndshemighthavecrackedChamp’sskullaswellifmy
dadhadn’tcometotherescueandshooedhimoutside.
Momwasfuming.“Itoldyouitwashim.TheMysterySmellcomesfromtheMysteryPisser!Didyou
seethat?Didyouseethat?Hejustsquirtedontheendtable!
MyfatherracedwitharollofpapertowelstowhereChamphadbeen,andsaid,Where?Whereis
it?”
Allofthreedropsweredrippingdownthetableleg.“There,”mymothersaid,pointingashakyfinger
atthewetness.“There!
Dadwipeditup,thencheckedthecarpetandsaid,“Itwasbarelyadrop.”
“Exactly!” my mother said with her hands on her hips. Which is why Ive never been able to find
anything.Thatdogstaysoutsidefromnowon.Doyouhearme?Heisnolongerallowedinthishouse!
“Howaboutthegarage?”Iasked.“Canhesleepinthere?”
“Andhavehimtageverythingthatsoutthere?No!
MikeandMattweregrinningateachother.“MysteryPisser!Thatcouldbethenameforourband!
“Yeah!Cool!”
“Band?” my mother asked. “Wait a minute, what band?” But they were already flying down to their
room,laughingaboutthepossibilitiesforalogo.
MyfatherandIspenttherestofthedaysniffingoutanddestroyingcriminalevidence.Mydaduseda
spraybottleofammonia;IfollowedupwithLysol.Wedidtrytorecruitmybrothers,buttheywoundup
getting into a spray-bottle fight, which got them locked in their room, which, of course, was fine with
them.
SoChampbecameanoutsidedog,andhemighthavebeenouronlypeteverifithadntbeenformy
fifth-gradesciencefair.
Everyone around me had great project ideas, but I couldnt seem to come up with one. Then our
teacher,Mrs.Brubeck,tookmeasideandtoldmeaboutafriendofherswhohadchickens,andhowshe
couldgetmeafertilizedeggformyproject.
“ButIdontknowanythingabouthatchinganegg,”Itoldher.
She smiled and put her arm around my shoulders. “You don’t have to be an immediate expert at
everything,Juli.Theideahereistolearnsomethingnew.”
“Butwhatifitdies?”
“Thenitdies.Documentyourworkscientificallyandyou’llstillgetanA,ifthatswhatyoureworried
about.”
An A?Beingresponsible forthedeath of a baby chick—that’swhat I was worried about.Suddenly
there was real appeal in building a volcanoor making my own neoprene or demonstrating the various
scientificapplicationsofgearratios.
Buttheballwasinmotion,andMrs.Brubeckwouldhavenomorediscussionaboutit.ShepulledThe
Beginners Guide to Raising Chickens from her bookshelf and said, Read the section on artificial
incubationandsetyourselfuptonight.Illgetyouaneggtomorrow.”
“But…”
“Dontworrysomuch,Juli,”shesaid.Wedothiseveryyear,anditsalwaysoneofthebestprojects
atthefair.”
Isaid,“But…,”butshewasgone.Offtoputanendtosomeotherstudentsbattlewithindecision.
ThatnightIwasmoreworriedthanever.Idreadthechapteronincubationatleastfourtimesandwas
still confused about where to start. I didnt happen to have an old aquarium lying around! We didn’t
happentohaveanincubationthermometer!Wouldadeep-frymodelwork?
Iwassupposedtocontrolhumidity,too,orhorriblethingswouldhappentothechick.Toodryandthe
chickcouldntpeckout;toowetanditwoulddieofmushychickdisease.Mushychickdisease?!
Mymother,beingthesensiblepersonthatsheis,toldmetotellMrs.BrubeckthatIsimplywouldn’tbe
hatchingachick.“Haveyouconsideredgrowingbeans?”sheaskedme.
Myfather,however,understoodthatyoucantrefusetodoyourteachersassignment,andhepromised
tohelp.“Anincubatorsnotdifficulttobuild.We’llmakeoneafterdinner.”
How my fatherknows exactly where thingsare inour garage isone ofthe wondersofthe universe.
Howheknewaboutincubators,however,wasrevealedtomewhilehewasdrillingaone-inchholeinan
old scrap of Plexiglas. “I raised a duck from an egg when I was in high school.” He grinned at me.
“Sciencefairproject.”
“Aduck?”
“Yes,buttheprincipleisthesameforallpoultry.Keepthetemperatureconstantandthehumidityright,
turntheeggseveraltimesaday,andinafewweeksyoullhaveyourselfalittlepeeper.”
Hehandedmealightbulbandanextensioncordwithasocketattached.“Fastenthisthroughtheholein
thePlexiglas.Illfindsomethermometers.”
“Some?Weneedmorethanone?”
“Wehavetomakeyouahygrometer.”
“Ahygrometer?”“Tocheckthehumidityinsidetheincubator.Itsjustathermometerwithwetgauze
aroundthebulb.”
Ismiled.“Nomushychickdisease?”
Hesmiledback.“Precisely.”
BythenextafternoonIhadnotone,butsixchickeneggsincubatingatacozy102degreesFahrenheit.
“Theydontallmakeit,Juli,”Mrs.Brubecktoldme.Hopeforone.Therecord’sthree.Thegradesin
thedocumentation.Beascientist.Goodluck.”Andwiththat,shewasoff.
Documentation? Of what? I had to turn the eggs three times a day and regulate the temperature and
humidity,butasidefromthatwhatwastheretodo?
Thatnightmyfathercameouttothegaragewithacardboardtubeandaflashlight.Hetapedthetwo
togethersothatthelightbeamwasforcedstraightoutthetube.Letmeshowyouhowtocandleanegg,”
hesaid,thenswitchedoffthegaragelight.
I’dseenasectiononcandlingeggsinMrs.Brubecksbook,butIhadntreallyreadityet.“Whydothey
callitthat?”Iaskedhim.“Andwhydoyoudoit?”
“People used candles to do this before they had incandescent lighting.” He held an egg up to the
cardboardtube.“Thelightletsyouseethroughtheshellsoyoucanwatchtheembryodevelop.Thenyou
canculltheweakones,ifnecessary.”
Killthem?”
“Cullthem.Removetheonesthatdontdevelopproperly.”
“But…wouldn’tthatalsokillthem?
Helookedatme.“Leavinganeggyoushouldcullmighthavedisastrousresultsonthehealthyones.”
“Why?Wouldn’titjustnothatch?”
Hewentbacktolightinguptheegg.“Itmightexplodeandcontaminatetheothereggswithbacteria.”
Explode!Betweenmushychickdisease,explodingeggs,andculling,thisprojectwasturningouttobe
theworst!Thenmyfathersaid,“Lookhere,Julianna.Youcanseetheembryo.”Heheldtheflashlightand
eggoutsoIcouldsee.
Ilookedinsideandhesaid,“Seethedarkspotthere?Inthemiddle?Withalltheveinsleadingtoit?”
“Thethingthatlookslikeabean?”
“Thatsit!
Suddenlyitfeltreal.Thiseggwasalive.Iquicklycheckedtherestofthegroup.Therewerelittlebean
babiesinallofthem!Surelytheyhadtolive.Surelytheywouldallmakeit!
“Dad?CanItaketheincubatorinside?Itmightgettoocoldouthereatnight,dontyouthink?”
“Iwasgoingtosuggestthesamething.Whydontyoupropopenthedoor?Illcarryitforyou.”
ForthenexttwoweeksIwascompletelyconsumedwiththegrowingofchicks.IlabeledtheeggsA,B,
C,D,E,andF,butbeforelongtheyhadnames,too:Abby,Bonnie,Clyde,Dexter,Eunice,andFlorence.
EverydayIweighedthem,candledthem,andturnedthem.Ieventhoughtitmightbegoodforthemtohear
someclucking,soforawhileIdidthat,too,butcluckingistiring!Itwasmucheasiertohumaroundmy
quietlittleflock,soIdidthat,instead.SoonIwashummingwithouteventhinkingaboutit,becausewhenI
wasaroundmyeggs,Iwashappy.
I read The Beginners Guide to Raising Chickens cover to cover twice. For my project I drew
diagramsofthevariousstagesofanembryo’sdevelopment,Imadeagiantchickenposter,Igraphedthe
daily fluctuations in temperature and humidity, and I made a line chart documenting the weight loss of
eachegg.Ontheoutsideeggswereboring,butIknewwhatwashappeningontheinside!
ThentwodaysbeforethesciencefairIwascandlingBonniewhenInoticedsomething.Icalledmydad
intomyroomandsaid,“Look,Dad!Lookatthis!Isthattheheartbeating?”
Hestudieditforamoment,thensmiledandsaid,“Letmegetyourmother.”
SothethreeofuscrowdedaroundandwatchedBonnie’sheartbeat,andevenmymotherhadtoadmit
thatitwasabsolutelyamazing.
Clydewasthefirsttopip.AndofcoursehediditrightbeforeIhadtoleaveforschool.Hislittlebeak
crackedthrough,and whileIheldmybreathandwaited,herested.Andrested.Finally hisbeak poked
throughagain,butalmostrightaway,herestedagain.HowcouldIgotoschoolandjustleavehimthis
way?Whatifheneededmyhelp?Surelythiswasavalidreasontostayhome,atleastforalittlewhile!
Myfathertriedtoassuremethathatchingoutcouldtakealldayandthatthere’dbeplentyofactionleft
afterschool, butIdhavenoneofthat.Oh,no-no-no!Iwanted toseeAbbyandBonnieandClyde and
DexterandEuniceandFlorencecomeintotheworld.Everysingleoneofthem.“Icantmissthehatch!”I
toldhim.“Notevenasecondofit!
“Sotakeittoschoolwithyou,”mymothersaid.“Mrs.Brubeckshouldn’tmind.Afterall,thiswasher
idea.”
Sometimesitpaystohaveasensiblemother.Idjustsetupforthesciencefairearly,that’swhatIddo!
Ipackedupmyentireoperation,posters,charts,andall,andgotaridetoschoolfrommymom.
Mrs.Brubeckdidntmindabit.ShewassobusyhelpingkidswiththeirprojectsthatIgottospend
nearlytheentiredaywatchingthehatch.
ClydeandBonniewerethefirstonesout.Itwasdisappointingatfirstbecausetheyjustlaythereall
wet and matted, looking exhausted and ugly. But by the time Abby and Dexter broke out, Bonnie and
Clydewerefluffingup,lookingforaction.
Thelasttwotookforever,butMrs.BrubeckinsistedthatIleavethemalone,andthatworkedoutpretty
greatbecausetheyhatchedoutduringthefairthatnight.Mywholefamilycame,andeventhoughMattand
Mikeonlywatchedforabouttwominutesbeforetheytookofftolookatsomeotherdemonstration,my
momanddadstuckaroundforthewholething.MomevenpickedBonnieupandnuzzledher.
ThatnightafteritwasalloverandIwaspackinguptogohome,Momasked,Sodothesegobackto
Mrs.Brubecknow?”
“DowhatgobacktoMrs.Brubeck?”Iaskedher.
“Thechicks,Juli.Yourenotplanningtoraisechickens,areyou?”
Tobehonest,Ihadntthoughtbeyondthehatch.Myfocushadbeenstrictlyonbringingthemintothe
world.Butshewasright—heretheywere.Sixfluffylittleadorablechicks,eachofwhichhadanameand,
Icouldalreadytell,itsownuniquepersonality.
“I…Idontknow,”Istammered.“IllaskMrs.Brubeck.”
ItrackeddownMrs.Brubeck,butIwasprayingthatshedidntwantmetogivethembacktoherfriend.
After all, Id hatched them. I’d named them. Id saved them from mushy chick disease! These little
peepersweremine!
Tomyreliefandmymothershorror,Mrs.Brubecksaidtheywereindeedmine.Allmine.“Havefun,”
shesaid,thenzippedofftohelpHeididismantleherexhibitonBernoullislaw.
Momwasquietthewholewayhome,andIcouldtell—shewantedchickenslikeshewantedatractor
andagoat.“Please,Mom?”Iwhisperedasweparkedatthecurb.“Please?”
Shecoveredherface.“Wherearewegoingtoraisechickens,Juli?Where?”
“Inthebackyard?”Ididntknowwhatelsetosuggest.
“WhataboutChamp?”
“Theyllgetalong,Mom.Illteachhim.Ipromise.”
Mydadsaidsoftly,“Theyreprettyself-sufficient,Trina.”
Butthentheboyspipedupwith,“Champ’llpiss’emtodeath,Mom,”andsuddenlytheywereonaroll.
“Yeah!Butyouwontevennotice’causetheyreyellowalready!”“Whoa!YellowAlready—coolname.”
“Thatcouldwork!Butwait—peoplemightthinkwemeanourbellies!”“Oh,yeah—forgetthat!”“Yeah,
justlethimkillthechicks.”
Mybrotherslookedateachotherwithenormouseyesandstartedupalloveragain.“KilltheChicks!
Thatsit!Getit?”“Youmeanlikewe’rechickkillers?Orlikewekillthechicks?”
Dadturnedaroundandsaid,“Out.Bothofyou,getout.Gofindanameelsewhere.”
Sotheyscrambledout,andthethreeofussatinthecarwithonlythegentlepeep-peep-peepfrommy
littleflockbreakingthesilence.Finallymymotherheavedaheavysighandsaid,“Theydontcostmuch
tokeep,dothey?”
Mydadshookhishead.“Theyeatbugs,Trina.Andalittlefeed.Theyreverylow-maintenance.”
“Bugs?Really?Whatsortofbugs?”
“Earwigs,worms,roly-polys…probablyspiders,iftheycancatchthem.Ithinktheyeatsnails,too.”
“Seriously?”Mymothersmiled.“Well,inthatcase…”
“Oh,thankyou,Mom.Thankyou!”
And that’s how we wound up with chickens. What none of us thought of was that six chickens
scratchingforbugsnotonlygetsridofbugs,italsotearsupgrass.Withinsixmonthstherewasnothing
whatsoeverleftofouryard.
What we also didnt think of was that chicken feed attracts mice, and mice attract cats. Feral cats.
Champwasprettygoodatkeepingthecatsoutoftheyard,butthey’dhangaroundthefrontyardorthe
sideyard,justwaitingforhimtosnoozesotheycouldsneakinandpounceonsometenderlittlemousy
vittles.
Thenmybrothersstartedtrappingthemice,whichIthoughtwasjusttohelpout.Ididn’tsuspectathing
untilthedayIheardmymotherscreamingfromthedepthsoftheirroom.Theywere,itturnsout,raisinga
boaconstrictor.
Momsfootcamedowninabigway,andIthoughtshewasgoingtothrowusout,lock,stock,andboa,
butthenI madethe mostamazingdiscovery—chickens layeggs!Beautiful,shiny,creamywhiteeggs!I
first found one under Bonnie, then Clyde—whom I immediately renamed Clydette—and one more in
Florence’sbed.Eggs!
Iracedinsidetoshowmymom,andafterabriefmomentofblinkingatthem,shewitheredintoachair.
“No,”shewhimpered.“Nomorechicks!
“Theyrenotchicks,Mom…theyreeggs!
She was still looking quite pale, so I sat in the chair next to her and said, “We dont have a
rooster…?”
“Oh.”Thecolorwascomingbacktohercheeks.“Isthatso?”
“Iveneverheardacock-a-doodle-do,haveyou?
Shelaughed.AblessingIguessI’veforgottentocount.”Shesatupalittleandtookaneggfrommy
palm.“Eggs,huh.Howmanydoyousupposethey’lllay?”
“Ihavenoidea.”
Asitturnsout,myhenslaidmoreeggsthanwecouldeat.Atfirstwetriedtokeepup,butsoonwe
weretiredofboilingandpicklinganddeviling,andmymotherstartedcomplainingthatallthesefreeeggs
werecostingherwaytoomuch.
ThenoneafternoonasIwascollectingeggs,ourneighborMrs.Stuebyleanedoverthesidefenceand
said,“Ifyoueverhaveanyextra,I’dbehappytobuythemfromyou.”
“Really?”Iasked.
“Mostcertainly.Nothingquitelikefree-rangeeggs.Twodollarsadozensoundfairtoyou?
Twodollarsadozen!Ilaughedandsaid,“Sure!
“Okay,then.Wheneveryouhavesomeextras,justbring’emover.Mrs.HelmsandIgottodiscussingit
lastnightonthephone,butIaskedyoufirst,somakesureyouoffer’emuptomebeforeher,okay,Juli?
“Surething,Mrs.Stueby!
BetweenMrs.StuebyandMrs.Helmsthreedoorsdown,myeggoverflowproblemwassolved.And
maybeIshould’veturnedthemoneyovertomymotheraspaymentforhavingdestroyedthebackyard,but
one“Nonsense,Julianna.Itsyours,”wasallittookformetostartsquirrelingitaway.
Then one day as I was walking down to Mrs. Helms house, Mrs. Loski drove by. She waved and
smiled,andIrealizedwithapangofguiltthatIwasntbeingveryneighborlyaboutmyeggs.Shedidnt
know that Mrs. Helms and Mrs. Stueby were paying me for these eggs. She probably thought I was
deliveringthemoutofthekindnessofmyheart.
And maybe I should’ve been giving the eggs away, but I’d never had a steady income before.
Allowanceatourhouseisahit-or-misssortofthing.Usuallyamiss.Andearningmoneyfrommyeggs
gavemethissecrethappyfeeling,whichIwasreluctanttohavethekindnessofmyheartencroachupon.
ButthemoreIthoughtaboutit,themoreIrealizedthatMrs.Loskideservedsomefreeeggs.Shehad
been agood neighborto us,lendingus supplies whenweranoutunexpectedlyandbeing lateto work
herselfwhenmymotherneededaridebecauseourcarwouldntstart.Afeweggsnowandagain…it
wastheleastIcoulddo.
TherewasalsothedecidedlyblissfulpossibilityofrunningintoBryce.Andinthechillysparkleofa
newday,Bryceseyesseemedbluerthanever.Thewayhelookedatme—thesmile,theblush—itwasa
BryceIdidntgettoseeatschool.TheBryceatschoolwaswaymoreprotected.
BythethirdtimeIbroughteggsovertotheLoskis,IrealizedthatBrycewaswaitingforme.Waitingto
pullthedooropenandsay,“Thanks,Juli,”andthen,“Seeyouatschool.”
Itwasworthit.EvenafterMrs.HelmsandMrs.Stuebyofferedmemoremoneyperdozen,itwasstill
worthit.So,throughtherestofsixthgrade,throughallofseventhgradeandmostofeighth,Idelivered
eggs to the Loskis. The very best, shiniest eggs went straight to the Loskis, and in return I got a few
momentsalonewiththeworld’smostdazzlingeyes.
Itwasabargain.
Thentheycutdownthesycamoretree.AndtwoweekslaterChampdied.He’dbeenspendingalotof
timesleeping,andeventhoughwedidntreallyknowhowoldhewas,noonewasreallysurprisedwhen
onenightDadwentouttofeedhimanddiscoveredhewasdead.Weburiedhiminthebackyard,andmy
brothersputupacrossthatreads:
HERELIESTHEMYSTERYPISSER
P.I.P.
Iwas upsetand prettydazedfor awhile. Itwasraininga lotand Iwasriding my biketoschoolto
avoidhavingtotakethebus,andeachdaywhenIdgethome,I’dretreattomyroom,losemyselfina
novel,andsimplyforgetaboutcollectingeggs.
Mrs.Stuebywastheonewhogotmebackonschedule.Shecalledtosayshe’dreadaboutthetreein
the paper and was sorry about everything that had happened, but it had been some time now and she
missedhereggsandwasworriedthatmyhensmightquitlaying.“Distresscanpushabirdstraightintoa
molting,andwewouldntwantthat!Featherseverywhereandnotanegginsight.Imquiteallergictothe
feathers myself or Id probablyhave a flock ofmy own, butnever you mind. You justbring em over
whenyoureuptoit.AllsIwantedwastocheckinandletyouknowhowsorryIwasaboutthetree.And
yourdog,too.Yourmothermentionedhepassedaway.”
SoIgotbacktowork.IclearedawaytheeggsIdneglectedandgotbackintomyroutineofcollecting
andcleaning.AndonemorningwhenIhadenough,Imadetherounds.FirstMrs.Stueby,thenMrs.Helms,
andfinallytheLoskis.AndasIstoodattheLoskisthreshold,itoccurredtomethatIhadntseenBrycein
the longest time. Sure, we’d both been at school, but Id been so preoccupied with other things that I
hadntreallyseenhim.
Myheartstartedbeatingfaster,andwhenthedoorwhooshedopenandhisblueeyeslookedrightatme,
ittookeverythingIhadjusttosay,“Here.”
Hetookthehalf-cartonandsaid,“Youknow,youdon’thavetogiveusthese….”
“Iknow,”Isaid,andlookeddown.
Westoodthereforarecord-breakingamountoftimesayingnothing.Finallyhesaid,“Soareyougoing
tostartridingthebusagain?”
Ilookedupathimandshrugged.“Idontknow.Ihaventbeenuptheresince…youknow.”
“Itdoesntlooksobadanymore.Itsallcleared.They’llprobablystartonthefoundationsoon.”
Itsoundedperfectlyawfultome.
“Well,”hesaid,“I’vegottogetreadyforschool.Seeyouthere.”Thenhesmiledandclosedthedoor.
ForsomereasonIjuststoodthere.Ifeltodd.Outofsorts.Disconnectedfromeverythingaroundme.
WasIevergoingtogobackuptoCollierStreet?Ihadtoeventually,orsomymothersaid.WasIjust
makingitharder?
Suddenly the door flew open and Bryce came hurrying out with an overfull kitchen trash can in his
hands.“Juli!”hesaid.“Whatareyoustilldoinghere?”
He startled me, too.IdidntknowwhatIwas stilldoingthere. And Iwassoflustered thatIwould
probably just have run home if he hadn’t started struggling with the trash, trying to shove the contents
down.
Ireachedoverandsaid,“Doyouneedsomehelp?”becauseitlookedlikehewasabouttospillthe
trash.ThenIsawthecornerofaneggcarton.
Thiswasn’tjustanyeggcartoneither.Itwasmyeggcarton.TheoneIdjustbroughthim.Andthrough
thelittlebluecardboardarcsIcouldseeeggs.
Ilookedfromhimtotheeggsandsaid,“Whathappened?Didyoudropthem?
“Yeah,”hesaidquickly.“Yeah,andI’mreallysorryaboutthat.”
Hetriedtostopme,butItookthecartonfromthetrash,saying,“Allofthem?”Iopenedthecartonand
gasped.Sixwhole,perfecteggs.“Whydyouthrowthemaway?
He pushed past me and went around the house to the trash bin, and I followed him, waiting for an
answer.
Heshookthegarbageout,thenturnedtofaceme.“Doesthewordsalmonellameananythingtoyou?”
“Salmonella?But…”
“Mymomdoesntthinkit’sworththerisk.”
Ifollowedhimbacktotheporch.“Areyousayingshewonteatthembecause—”
“Becauseshe’safraidofbeingpoisoned.”
“Poisoned!Why?
“Becauseyourbackyardis,like,coveredinturds!Imean,lookatyourplace,Juli!”Hepointedatour
houseandsaid,“Justlookatit.Itsacompletedive!
“It is not!” I cried, but the truth was sitting right across the street, impossible to deny. My throat
suddenlychokedclosedandIfounditpainfultospeak.“Haveyou…alwaysthrownthemaway?
Heshruggedandlookeddown.“Juli,look.Wedidn’twanttohurtyourfeelings.”
“Myfeelings?DoyourealizeMrs.StuebyandMrs.Helmspaymeformyeggs?”
“Yourekidding.”
“No!Theypaymetwodollarsadozen!
“Noway.”
“Itstrue!AllthoseeggsIgavetoyouIcould’vesoldtoMrs.StuebyorMrs.Helms!
“Oh,”hesaid,andlookedaway.Thenheeyedmeandsaid,“Well,whydidyoujustgivethemtous?”
Iwasfightingbacktears,butitwashard.Ichokedout,“Iwastryingtobeneighborly…!”
Heputdownthetrashcan,thendidsomethingthatmademybrainfreeze.Heheldmebytheshoulders
andlookedmerightintheeyes.“Mrs.Stuebysyourneighbor,isn’tshe?So’sMrs.Helms,right?Whybe
neighborlytousandnotthem?
Whatwashetryingtosay?WasitstillsoobvioushowIfeltabouthim?Andifheknew,howcouldhe
havebeensoheartless,justthrowingmyeggsawaylikethat,weekafterweek,yearafteryear?
Icouldntfindanywords.Noneatall.Ijuststaredathim,attheclear,brilliantblueofhiseyes.
“Imsorry,Juli,”hewhispered.
Istumbledhome,embarrassedandconfused,myheartcompletelycrackedopen.
Bryce:GetaGrip,Man
ItdidnttakelongformetorealizethatI’dtradedinmyoldproblemswithJuliBakerforawhole
newsetofproblemswithJuliBaker.Icouldfeelherangeramileaway.
Itwasactuallyworsehavinghermadatmethanhavingherharassme.Why?BecauseI’dscrewedup,
that’swhy.Ihadeggallovermyface,andblamingitonheryardhaddonenothingtowashitoff.Theway
sheignoredme,orsoobviouslyavoidedme,wasascreamingloudremindertomethatI’dbeenajerk.A
royalcluck-facedjerk.
ThenonedayImcominghomefromhangingoutwithGarrettafterschool,andtheresJuliinherfront
yard,hackingatashrub.Sheisthrashingonthething.Branchesareflyingoverhershoulder,andclear
acrossthestreetIcanhearhergruntingandgrowlingandsayingstufflike,“No…you…dont!Youare
coming…off…whetheryoulikeitor…not!
DidIfeelgoodaboutthis?No,myfriend,Ididnot.Yeah,theiryardwasamess,anditwasabouttime
someonedidsomethingaboutit,butc’mon—where’sthedad?WhataboutMattandMike?WhyJuli?
BecauseI’dembarrassedherintoit,thatswhy.Ifeltworsethanever.
So I snuck inside and tried to ignore the fact that here’s my desk and here’s my window, and right
acrossthestreetfrommeisJuli,beatingupabush.Notconducivetoconcentration.Nosiree,Bob.Igot
allofzerohomeworkdone.
ThenextdayatschoolIwastryingtogetupthenervetosaysomethingtoher,butIneverevengotthe
chance.Shewouldntletmegetanywherenearher.
ThenontheridehomeIhadthisthought.Itkindoffreakedmeoutatfirst,butthemoreIplayedwithit,
themoreIfiguredthat,yeah,helpingherwiththeyardwouldmakeupformyhavingbeensuchajerk.
Assuming she didnt boss me too much, and assuming she didnt decide to get all gooey-eyed or
somethingstupidlikethat.No,IdgoupandjusttellherthatIfeltbadforbeingajerkandIwantedto
makeituptoherbyhelpinghercutbacksomebushes.Period.Endofstory.Andifshestillwantedtobe
madatmeafterthat,thenfine.Thatwasherproblem.
My problem was, I never got the chance. I came trekking down from the bus stop to find my
grandfatherdoingmygooddeed.
Now,jumpback.ThiswasnotsomethingIcouldimmediatelyabsorb.Mygrandfatherdidnotdoyard
work.Atleast,he’dneverofferedtohelpmeout.Mygrandfatherlivedinhouseslippers—wheredhe
getthoseworkboots?Andthosejeansandthatflannelshirt—whatwasupwiththose?
Icrouchedbehindaneighborshedgeandwatchedthemfortenorfifteenminutes,andman,thelongerI
watched,the madderIgot.Mygrandfatherhadalreadysaidmoretoherinthislittlesliceoftimethan
he’dsaidtomethewholeyearandahalfhe’dbeenlivingwithus.WhatwashisdealwithJuliBaker?
Itookthebackwayhome,whichinvolvedclimbingtwofencesandkickingofftheneighborsstupid
littleterrier,butitwasworthit,consideringIavoidedthegardenpartyacrossthestreet.
AgainIgotnohomeworkdone.ThemoreIwatchedthem,themadderIgot.Iwasstillacluck-faced
jerk,whileJuliwaslaughingitupwithmygrandfather.HadIeverseenhimsmile?Reallysmile?Idont
thinkso!Butnowhewasknee-highinnettles,laughing.
Atdinnerthatnighthe’dshoweredandchangedbackintohisregularclothesandhouseslippers,buthe
didntlookthesame.Itwaslikesomeonehadpluggedhiminandturnedonthelight.
“Goodevening,”hesaidashesatdownwiththerestofus.“Oh,Patsy,thatlooksdelicious!
“Well,Dad,”mymomsaidwithalaugh,yourexcursionacrossthestreetseemstohavedoneyoua
worldofgood.”
“Yeah,”myfathersaid.“Patsytellsmeyou’vebeenoverthereallafternoon.Ifyouwereinthemood
forhomeimprovementprojects,whydidn’tyoujustsayso?
Myfatherwasjustjokingaround,butIdontthinkmygrandfathertookitthatway.Hehelpedhimselfto
acheese-stuffedpotatoandsaid,“Passthesalt,wontyou,Bryce?”
Sotherewasthisdefinitetensionbetweenmyfatherandmygrandfather,butIthinkifDadhaddropped
thesubjectrightthen,thevibewould’vevanished.
Daddidntdropit,though.Instead,hesaid,Sowhysthegirltheonewho’sfinallydoingsomething
abouttheirplace?
Mygrandfathersaltedhispotatoverycarefully,thenlookedacrossthetableatme.Ah-oh,Ithought.
Ah-oh.InaflashIknewthosestupideggswerenotbehindme.Twoyearsofsneakingtheminthetrash,
twoyearsofavoidingdiscussionofJuliandhereggsandherchickensandherearly-morningvisits,and
forwhat?Granddadknew,Icouldseeitinhiseyes.Inamatterofsecondshe’dcrackopenthetruth,and
I’dbeasgoodasfried.
Enteramiracle.Mygrandfatherpetrifiedmeforaminutewithhiseyesbutthenturnedtomyfatherand
said,“Shewantsto,isall.”
Aragingriverofsweatrandownmytemples,andasmyfathersaid,“Well,itsabouttimesomeone
did,”mygrandfatherlookedbackatmeandIknew—hewasnotgoingtoletmeforgetthis.We’djusthad
anotherconversation,onlythistimeIwasdefinitelynotdismissed.
Afterthedisheswerecleared,Iretreatedtomyroom,butmygrandfathercamerightin,closedthedoor
behindhim,andthensatonmybed.Hedidthisallwithoutmakingasound.Nosqueaking,noclanking,no
scraping,nobreathing…Iswear,theguymovedthroughmyroomlikeaghost.
AndofcourseImbangingmykneeanddroppingmypencilanddeterioratingintoapatheticpoolof
Jell-O.ButItriedmybesttosoundcoolasIsaid,“Hello,Granddad.Cometocheckoutthedigs?
Hepinchedhislipstogetherandlookedatnothingbutme.
Icracked.“Look,Granddad,IknowImessedup.Ishould’vejusttoldher,butIcouldn’t.AndIkept
thinkingtheyd stop.Imean, how longcan achickenlayeggs?Those thingshatchedin thefifth grade!
Thatwaslike,threeyearsago!Donttheyeventuallyrunout?AndwhatwasIsupposedtodo?Tellher
Mom was afraid of salmonella poisoning? And Dad wanted me to tell her we were allergic—c’mon,
who’s goingtobuythat?SoI justkept,you know,throwing them out.Ididntknowshe could’vesold
them.Ithoughttheywerejustextras.”
Hewasnodding,butveryslowly.
Isighedandsaid,“Thankyoufornotsayinganythingaboutitatdinner.Ioweyou.”
Hepulledmycurtainasideandlookedacrossthestreet.“Onescharacterissetatanearlyage,son.
The choices you make now will affect you for the rest of your life.” He was quiet for a minute, then
droppedthecurtainandsaid,“Ihatetoseeyouswimoutsofaryoucantswimback.”
“Yes,sir.”
Hefrownedandsaid,“Don’tyes-sirme,Bryce.”Thenhestoodandadded,“JustthinkaboutwhatI’ve
said, andthenexttimeyourefacedwithachoice,dothe rightthing. Ithurtseveryonelessinthelong
run.”
Withthat,poof,hewasgone.
ThenextdayIwenttoshootsomehoopsatGarrettsafterschool,andwhenhismomdroppedmeoff
laterthatafternoon,mygranddaddidn’tevennotice.HewastoobusybeingJoeCarpenterinJulisfront
yard.
Itriedtodomyhomeworkatthebreakfastbar,butmymomcamehomefromworkandstartedbeingall
chatty, and then Lynetta appeared and the two of them started fighting about whether Lynetta’s makeup
madeherlooklikeawoundedraccoon.
Lynetta.Iswearshellneverlearn.
Ipackedupmystuffandescapedtomyroom,which,ofcourse,wasatotalwaste.They’vegotasaw
revvingandwailingacrossthestreet,andinbetweencutsIcanhearthewhack,whack,whack!whack,
whack,whack!ofahammer.Ilookoutthewindowandthere’sJuli,spittingoutnailsandslammingthem
inplace.Nokidding.She’sgotnailslinedupbetweenherlipslikesteelcigarettes,andshe’sswinging
thathammerfull-arc,wayaboveherhead,drivingnailsintopicketsliketheyregoingintobutter.
For a split secondthere, I saw my head as the recipient of her hammer,cracking open like Humpty
Dumpty.Ishudderedanddroppedthecurtain,ditchedthehomework,andheadedfortheTV.
Theyhandymannedallweek.AndeverynightGranddadwouldcomeinwithrosycheeksandahuge
appetiteandcomplimentmymomonwhatagreatcookshewas.ThenSaturdayhappened.Andthelast
thingIwantedwastospendthedayathomewhilemygrandfatherchurnedupdirtandhelpedplantJulis
yard.Momtriedtogetmetodoourownyard,butIwouldhavefeltridiculousmicromowingourgrass
withGranddadandJulimakingrealchangesrightacrossthestreet.
SoIlockedmyselfinmyroomandcalledGarrett.Hewasnthome,andeverybodyelseIcalledhad
stufftheyhadtodo.AndhittingupMomorDadforaridetothemoviesorthemallwashopeless.They’d
tellmeIwassupposedtobedoingtheyard.
WhatIwas,wasstuck.
AndwhatIwoundupdoing waslookingoutthestupidwindow atJuliandmygrandfather.Itwasa
totallylamethingtodo,butthatswhatIdid.
Igotnaileddoingit,too.Bymygrandfather.Andhe,ofcourse,hadtopointmeouttoJuli,whichmade
me feel another two inches shorter. I dropped the curtain and blasted out the back door and over the
fence.Ihadtogetoutofthere.
IswearIwalkedtenmilesthatday.AndIdontknowwhoIwasmadderat—mygrandfather,Juli,or
me.Whatwaswrongwithme?IfIwantedtomakeituptoJuli,whydidn’tIjustgooverthereandhelp?
Whatwasstoppingme?
IwoundupatGarrettshouse,andman,Idneverbeensogladtoseeanyoneinmylife.Leaveitto
Garretttogetyourmindoffanythingimportant.Thatdudesthemaster.Wewentoutbackandshothoops,
watchedthetube,andtalkedabouthittingthewaterslidesthissummer.
AndwhenIgothome,therewasJuli,sprinklingtheyard.
Shesawme,allright,butshedidntwaveorsmileoranything.Shejustlookedaway.
NormallywhatIddointhatsituationismaybepretendlikeIhadn’tseenher,orgiveaquickwaveand
chargeinside.Butshe’dbeenmadatmeforwhatseemedlikeages.Shehadntsaidwordonetomesince
themorningoftheeggs.She’dcompletelydissedmeinmathacoupledaysbeforewhenI’dsmiledather,
tryingtotellherIwassorry.Shedidntsmilebackornodoranything.Shejustturnedawayandnever
lookedback.
Ievenwaitedforheroutsidetheclassroomtosaysomething,anything,aboutherfixinguptheyardand
howbadIfelt,butsheditchedmeouttheotherdoor,andafterthatanytimeIgotanywherenearher,she’d
findsomewaytoskatearoundme.
Sothereshewas,wateringtheyard,makingmefeellikeajerk,andI’dhadenoughofit.Iwentupto
herandsaid,“Itslookingrealgood,Juli.Nicejob.”
“Thanks,”shesaidwithoutsmiling.“Chetdidmostofit.”
Chet?Ithought.Chet?Whatwasshedoing,callingmygrandfatherbyhisfirstname?“Look,Juli,”I
said,tryingtogetonwithwhyIwasthere.“I’msorryforwhatIdid.”
Shelookedatmeforasecond,thenwentbacktowatchingthewatersprayacrossthedirt.Finallyshe
said,“Istilldontgetit,Bryce.Whydidn’tyoujusttellme?”
“I … I don’t know. It was dumb. I should have. And I shouldnt have said anything about the yard,
either.Itwas,youknow,outofline.”
Iwasalreadyfeelingbetter.Alotbetter.ThenJulisays,“Well,maybeitsallforthebetter,”andstarts
bouncingup and downon the balls ofher feet,actingmore like her old self. Doesntit look great?I
learnedsomuchfromChetitsamazing.Youaresolucky.Idontevenhavegrandparentsanymore.”
“Oh,”Isaid,notknowingwhattosay.
“Idofeel sorryfor him, though.He sure missesyour grandmother.”Thenshe laughs and shakes her
head,saying,“Canyoubelieveit?HesaysIremindhimofher.”
“What?”
“Yeah,”shelaughsagain.“That’swhatIsaid.Buthemeantitinaniceway.”
IlookedatJuliandtriedtopicturemygrandmotherasaneighthgrader.Itwashopeless.Imean,Julis
got long, fluffy brown hair and a nose full of freckles, where my grandmother had always been some
varietyofblond.Andmygrandmotherhadusedpowder.Puffywhitepowder.She’dputitonherfaceand
inherhair,inherslippersandonherchest….Thatwomanpowderedeverything.
IcouldnotseeJulicoatedinpowder.Okay,maybegunpowder,butthewhiteperfumystuff?Forgetit.
IguessIwasstaring,becauseJulisays,“Look,Ididntsayit,hedid.Ijustthoughtitwasnice,that’s
all.”
“Yeah,whatever.Well,goodluckwiththegrass.I’msureit’llcomeupgreat.”ThenItotallysurprised
myselfbysaying,Knowing you,you’llget’em alltohatch.” Ididntsayitmean oranything, Ireally
meant it. I laughed, and then she laughed, and thats how I left her—sprinkling her soon-to-be sod,
smiling.
I hadnt been in such a good mood in weeks. The eggs were finally behind me. I was absolved.
Relieved.Happy.
IttookmeafewminutesatthedinnertabletorealizethatIwastheonlyonewhowas.Lynettahadon
herusualpout,sothatwasntit.Butmyfathersideaofsayinghellowastolayintomeaboutthelawn.
“Nosweat,”Itoldhim.“Illdoittomorrow.”
Allthatgotmewasascowl.
ThenMomsaystomygranddad,“Youtiredtonight,Dad?”
Ihadntevennoticedhimsittingtherelikeastone.
“Yeah,”myfathertossesdownthetableathim.“Thatgirlworkingyoutoohard?”
Mygrandfatherstraightenshisforkonhisnapkinandsays,‘ThatgirlisnamedJuli,andno,sheisnt
‘workingmetoohard,’asyousocallouslyputit.”
“Callous?Me?”Mydadlaughsandsays,“Developedquiteasoftspotforthatgirl,haventyou?
Even Lynetta let her pout go for a minute. These were fighting words and everyone knew it. Mom
nudgedDadwithherfoot,butthatonlymadethingsworse.“No,Patsy!Iwanttoknowwhyyourfather
hasthe energyandinclinationtobefriendacompletestrangerwhenhe’sneverdonesomuchas tossa
baseballaroundwithhisowngrandson!
Well,yeah!Ithought.ButthenIremembered—Iowedmygrandfather.Owedhimbig-time.Without
thinking,Isaid,“Takeiteasy,Dad.JulijustremindshimofGrandma.”
Everyoneclammedupandstaredatme.SoIlookedatmygrandfatherandsaid,“Uh…isntthatright,
Granddad?”
Henoddedandrearrangedhisforksomemore.
“OfRenée?”MyfatherlookedatmymotherandthenatGranddad.“Shecantpossibly!
Mygranddadclosedhiseyesandsaid,“ItsherspiritthatremindsmeofRenée.”
“Herspirit,”myfathersays.Likehe’stalkingtoalyingkindergartner.
“Yes,herspirit.”Mygrandfathersquietforaminute,thenasks,“DoyouknowwhytheBakershavent
fixeduptheyarduntilnow?
“Why?Sure.Theyretrash,thatswhy.Theyvegotabeat-uphouse,twobeat-upcars,andabeat-up
yard.”
“Theyarenottrash,Rick.Theyaregood,honest,hardworkingpeople—”
“Whohaveabsolutelynoprideinhowtheypresentthemselvestotherestoftheworld.We’velived
acrossthestreetfromthosepeopleforoversixyears,andthereisnoexcuseforthestatetheyrein.”
“No?”Mygrandfathertakesadeepbreathandseemstoweighthingsinhismindforafewseconds.
Then he says, “Tell me this, Rick. If you had a brother or sister or child who had a severe mental or
physicalhandicap,whatwouldyoudo?”
Itwaslikemygranddadhadpassedgasinchurch.Myfathersfacepinched,hisheadshook,andfinally
hesaid,“Chet,whatdoesthathavetodowithanything?”
Mygrandfatherlooksathimforaminute,thenquietlysays,“Juli’sfatherhasaretardedbrother,and—”
Myfatherinterruptshimwithalaugh.“Well,thatexplainsalot,doesn’tit!
“Explains…alot?”mygrandfatherasks.Quietly.Calmly.
“Sure!Itexplainswhythosepeoplearethewaytheyare…!”Hegrinsaroundthetableatus.“Must
runinthefamily.”
Everyonelooksathim.Lynettasjawdrops,andforonceshe’sspeechless.Mymothersays,“Rick!
butallmyfathercandoislaughanervouskindoflaughandsay,“Itwasjustajoke!Imean,obviously
something’swrongwiththosepeople.Oh,excuseme,Chet.Iforgot.ThegirlremindsyouofRenée.”
“Rick!mymothersaysagain,onlythistimeshesmad.
“Oh,Patsy,please.Yourfather’sbeingoverlydramatic,tryingtomakemefeelbadforcriticizingour
neighbors because there’s a retarded relative someplace. Other people have family troubles and still
managetomowtheirlawn.Theyshouldhavealittleprideinownership,forcryinoutloud!
Mygrandfather’scheeksareseriouslyflushed,buthisvoiceisrock-steadyashesays,“Theydon’town
that house, Rick. The landlord is supposed to maintain the premises, but he doesnt. And since Julis
father is responsible for his brother, all their reserves go to his care, and obviously it doesnt come
cheap.”
Veryquietlymymomasks,“Donttheyhavegovernmentfacilitiesforthatkindofthing?”
“Idon’tknowthedetails,Patsy.Maybetherearenogovernmentfacilitiesnearby.Maybetheythoughta
privatefacilitywasabetterplaceforhimtobe.”
“Still,”mydadsays,therearegovernmentfacilitiesavailable,andiftheydon’twanttogothatroute,
that’stheirchoice.Itsnotourfaulttheirfamilyhadsomesortofchromosomalabnormality,andIrefuse
tofeelguiltyforwanting—”
My grandfather slams his hand on the table and half-stands as he says, “It had nothing to do with
chromosomes,Rick!Itwascausedbyalackofoxygenatbirth.”Hebringshisvoicedown,butitmakes
hiswordsseemevenmoreforceful.“Julisunclehadtheumbilicalcordwrappedaroundhisneck.Twice.
One minute he was a perfect little baby, just like your son, Bryce, and the next he was irreversibly
damaged.”
Mymotherwassuddenlyhysterical.Insecondsshewasbawlinghereyesout,wailing,andmyfather
wasalloverher,tryingtocalmherdown.Itwasnouse.Shebasicallydissolvedrightthereonthespot.
Lynetta threwher napkin down andmuttered,“Thisfamily isa joke,” and took off. Thenmy mother
boltedoutoftheroom,sobbingintoherhands,andmyfatherracedafterher,throwingmygrandfatherthe
wickedestlookI’deverseen.
ThatleftGranddadandmeandatablefullofcoldfood.“Wow,”Ifinallysaid.“Ihadnoidea.”
“Youstilldont,”hetoldme.
“Whatdoyoumean?”
Hesattherelikegraniteforaminute,thenleanedacrossthetabletowardmeandsaid,“Whydoyou
supposethatupsetyourmothersomuch?
“I…Idontknow.”Igaveahalfheartedgrinandsaid,“Becauseshe’sfemale?
Hesmiled,butjustbarely.No.She’supsetbecausesheknowsthatshecouldverywellbestandingin
Mr.Bakersshoesrightnow.”
Ithoughtaboutitaminuteandfinallyasked,“Didherbrotherhavethecordaroundhisneckwhenhe
wasborn?”
Heshookhishead.
“Well,then…”
Heleanedforwardevenfartherandwhispered,“Youdid.”
Idid?”
Henodded.“Twice.”
“But…”
“Thedoctorwhodeliveredyouwasontheball,plusapparentlytherewassomeslackinthecord,so
hewasabletoloopitoffasyoucameout.Youdidnthangyourselfcomingintotheworld,butitcould
veryeasilyhavegonetheotherway.”
IfIdbeentoldyearsorevenweeksagothatIdcomedownthechutenoosedandreadytohang,I’d
havemadesomekindofjokeaboutit,ormorelikelyI’dhavesaid,Yeah,that’snice;nowcanyouspare
methediscussion?
Butaftereverythingthathadhappened,Iwasreallyfreakingout,andIcouldntescapethequestions
tidal-wavingmybrain.WherewouldIbeifthingshadbeendifferent?Whatwouldtheyhavedonewith
me?Fromthewaymydadwastalking,hewouldnthavehadmuchuseforme,that’sforsure.He’dhave
stuckmeinanuthousesomewhere,anywhere,andforgottenaboutme.ButthenIthought,No!I’mhiskid.
Hewouldntdothat…wouldhe?
Ilookedaroundateverythingwehad—thebighouse,thewhitecarpet,theantiquesandartworkand
stuffthatwaseverywhere.Wouldtheyhavegivenupallthestufftomakemylifemorepleasant?
Idoubtedit,andman,Idoubteditbig-time.Idhavebeenanembarrassment.Somethingtotrytoforget
about.Howthingslookedhadalwaysbeenabiggietomyparents.Especiallytomydad.
Veryquietlymygranddadsaid,“Youcantdwellonwhatmighthavebeen,Bryce.”Then,likehecould
readmymind,headded,“Anditsnotfairtocondemnhimforsomethinghehasntdone.”
Inoddedandtriedtogetagrip,butIwasn’tdoingaverygoodjobofit.Thenhesaid,“Bytheway,I
appreciatedyourcommentbefore.”
“What?”Iasked,butmythroatwasfeelingallpinchedandswollen.
“Aboutyourgrandmother.Howdidyouknowthat?”
Ishookmyheadandsaid,“Julitoldme.”
“Oh?Youspokewithher,then?”
“Yeah.Actually,Iapologizedtoher.”
“Well…!
“AndIwasfeelingalotbetterabouteverything,butnow…God,Ifeellikesuchajerkagain.”
“Dont.Youapologized,andthat’swhatmatters.”Hestoodupandsaid,Say,I’minthemoodfora
walk.Wanttojoinme?
Goforawalk?WhatIwantedtodowasgotomyroom,lockthedoor,andbeleftalone.
“Ifinditreallyhelpstoclearthemind,”hesaid,andthatswhenIrealizedthatthiswasntjustawalk
—thiswasaninvitationtodosomethingtogether.
Istoodupandsaid,“Yeah.Letsgetoutofhere.”
Foraguywho’donlybasicallyeversaidPassthesalttome,mygranddadturnedouttobearealtalker.
We walkedourneighborhood andthenextneighborhood andthenextneighborhood,andnotonlydidI
findoutthatmygranddadknowsalotofstuff,Ifoundoutthattheguyisfunny.Inasubtlekindofdryway.
Itsthestuffhesays,plusthewayhesaysit.Itsreally,Idontknow,cool.
As we werewindingbackintoour ownterritory, wepassed bythe housethat’sgoing upwherethe
sycamoretreeusedtobe.Mygranddadstopped,lookedupintothe night,andsaid,Itmust’vebeen a
spectacularview.”
Ilookedup,too,andnoticedforthefirsttimethatnightthatyoucouldseethestars.“Didyoueversee
herupthere?”Iaskedhim.
“Yourmotherpointedherouttomeonetimeaswedroveby.Itscaredmetoseeherupsohigh,but
afterIreadthearticleIunderstoodwhyshedidit.”Heshookhishead.“Thetree’sgone,butshe’sstill
gotthesparkitgaveher.KnowwhatImean?”
LuckilyIdidn’thavetoanswer.Hejustgrinnedandsaid,“Someofusgetdippedinflat,someinsatin,
someingloss….”Heturnedtome.“Buteveryonceinawhileyoufindsomeonewho’siridescent,and
whenyoudo,nothingwillevercompare.”
Aswewalkeduptoourfrontporch,mygrandfatherputhisarmaroundmyshoulderandsaid,“Itwas
nicewalkingwithyou,Bryce.Ienjoyedmyselfverymuch.”
“Metoo,”Itoldhim,andwewentinside.
Rightawayweknew we’d steppedintoawarzone.And eventhoughnoone was yellingorcrying,
fromthelookonmyparents’facesIcouldtellthere’dbeenamajormeltdownwhilemygranddadandI
wereout.
Granddadwhisperedtome,“Ivegotanotherfencetomend,Imafraid,”andheadedintothedining
roomtotalktomyparents.
Iwantednothingtodowiththatvibe.Iwentstraighttomyroom,closedthedoor,andfloppedthrough
thedarknessontomybed.
Ilaythereawhileandletthedinnerdisasterplaythroughmymind.AndwhenI’dtotallyburnedafuse
thinkingaboutit,Isatupandlookedoutthewindow.TherewasalightonsomewhereinsidetheBakers’
houseandthestreetlightswereglowing,butthenightstillseemedreallydense.Likeitwasdarkerthan
usualand,Idontknow,heavy.
I leaned closer to the window and looked up into the sky, but I couldn’t see the stars anymore. I
wonderedifJulihadeverbeeninthesycamoreatnight.Amongthestars.
Ishookmyhead.Flat,glossy,iridescent.Whatwasupwiththat?JuliBakerhadalwaysseemedjust
plaindustytome.
IsnappedonmydesklampanddugthenewspaperwiththearticleaboutJulioutofthedrawerwhere
I’dtossedit.
JustlikeIthought—theymadeitsoundlikeJuliwastryingtosaveMountRushmoreorsomething.
Theycalledhera“strongvoiceinanurbanwilderness”and“aradiantbeacon,sheddinglightontheneed
tocurtailcontinuedoverdevelopmentofouroncequaintandtranquilcommunity.”
Spareme.Imean,whatswrongwithlettingaguycutdownatreeonhisownpropertysohecanbuild
ahouse?Hislot,histree,hisdecision.Endofstory.Thepieceinthepaperwasgag-megush.
Except.ExceptfortheplaceswheretheyquotedJuli. Maybe itwasjustincontrasttothereporters
slantorsomething,butJulispartsdidntcomeoffoh-woe-is-melikeIwasexpecting.Theywere,Idont
know,deep.Sittinginthattreewasseriouslyphilosophicaltoher.
Andtheoddthingis,itallmadesensetome.Shetalkedaboutwhatitfeltliketobeupinthattree,and
howit,like,transcendeddimensionalspace.Tobeheldabovetheearthandbrushedbythewind,”she
said, “it’s like your heart has been kissedby beauty.” Whoin junior highdo youknowthatwould put
togetherasentencelikethat?Noneofmyfriends,that’sforsure.
Therewasotherstuff,too,likehowsomethingcanbesomuchmorethanthepartsittooktomakeit,
andwhypeopleneedthingsaroundthemthatliftthemabovetheirlivesandmakethemfeelthemiracleof
living.
Iwoundup reading and re-reading her parts, wonderingwhen inthe world she started thinkinglike
that.Imean,nokidding,JuliBaker’ssmart,butthiswassomethingwaybeyondstraightAs.
AmonthagoifIdreadthisarticle,Iwouldhavechuckeditinthetrashascompletegarbage,butfor
somereasonitmadesensetomenow.Alotofsense.
A month ago I also wouldn’t have paid any attention to the picture of Juli, but now I found myself
staringatit.Nottheoneofthewholescene—thatwasmoreemergencyrescueequipmentthanJuli.The
otherone,onthebottomhalfofthepage.Someonemustveusedakillertelephotolens,becauseyoucan
tellthatshe’sinthetree,butitsmostlyfromtheshouldersup.She’slookingoffintothedistanceandthe
windisblowingherhairbacklikeshesatthehelmofashiporsomething,sailingintothesun.
I’dspentsomanyyearsavoidingJuliBakerthatIdneverreallylookedather,andnowallofasudden
Icouldntstop.Thisweirdfeelingstartedtakingoverthepitofmystomach,andIdidn’tlikeit.Notone
bit.Totellyouthetruth,itscaredtheSheetrockoutofme.
IburiedthepaperundermypillowandtriedtoremindmyselfofwhatapainJuliBakerwas.Butmy
mindstartedtowanderagain,andprettysoonIhadthatstupidpaperoutfromundermypillow.
Thiswasinsane!WhatwasIdoing?
Imademyselfshutoutthelightandgotobed.Iwasslipping,man,anditwasdefinitelytimetogeta
grip.
Juli:TheYard
I’d neverbeenembarrassedby where welived before. I’dnever looked atourhouse, orevenour
side of the street, and said, Oh! I wish we lived in the new development—those houses are so much
newer,somuchbetter!ThisiswhereI’dgrownup.Thiswasmyhome.
Iwasawareoftheyard,sure.Mymotherhadgrumbledaboutitforyears.Butitwasalowgrumbling,
notworthyofdeepconcern.OrsoIdsupposed.ButmaybeIshouldhavewondered.Whylettheoutside
goandkeeptheinsidesonice?Itwasspotlessinsideourhouse.Exceptfortheboysroom,thatis.Mom
gave up on thatafter she discovered the snake. If they were old enoughto adopt a snake, she told my
brothers,theywereoldenoughtocleantheirownroom.MattandMiketranslatedthistokeepthedoor
closed,andbecamequitediligentaboutdoingjustthat.
Besidestheyard,Ialsoneverreallywonderedaboutthemoney,ortheapparentlackthereof.Iknew
wewerentrich,butIdidntfeellikeIwasmissinganything.Anythingyoucouldbuy,anyway.
MattandMikedidaskforthingsalot,buteventhoughmymotherwouldtellthem,No,boys,wejust
cantaffordthat,Itookthistomean,No,boys,youdontdeservethat,or,No,boys,youdon’treallyneed
that.ItwasntuntilBrycecalledourhomeacompletedivethatIstartedreallyseeingthings.
Itwasntjusttheyard.Itwasmydad’struck,mymother’scar,thefamilybikethatwasmorerustthan
steel,andthefactthatwhenwedidbuysomethingnew,italwaysseemedtocomefromasecond-time-
aroundstore.Plus,weneverwentonvacation.Ever.
Why was that? My father was the hardest-working man in the world, and my mother worked for
TempService doing secretarial jobs whenever she could. What was all that hard work about if this is
whereitgotyou?
Askingmyparentswhetherwewerepoorseemedincrediblyimpolite.Butasthedayswentby,Iknew
Ihadtoask.Justhadto.EverydayI’dridehomefromschoolonourrustybike,pullpastthebrokenfence
andpatchyyard,andthink,Tonight.Illaskthemtonight.
ButthenIwouldntaskthem.Ijustdidntknowhow.
ThenonedayIhadanidea.Awaytotalktothemaboutitandmaybehelpoutalittle,too.Andsince
mybrotherswereworkingatthemusicstorethatnight,andnobodywassayingmuchofanythingatthe
table,Itookadeepbreathandsaid,“Iwasthinking,youknow,thatitwouldn’tbehardtofixupthefront
yardifIcouldgetsomenailsandahammerandmaybesomepaint?Andhowmuchdoesgrassseedcost?
Itcantbethatmuch,right?Icouldplantalawn,andmaybeevensomeflowers?”
Myparentsstoppedeatingandstaredatme.
“Iknowhowtouseasawandahammer—itcouldbe,youknow,aproject.”
Mymotherquitlookingatmeandstaredatmyfather,instead.
Myfathersighedandsaid,“Theyardisnotourresponsibility,Julianna.”
“Its…itsnot?”
Heshookhisheadandsaid,“ItsMr.Finnegan’s.”
“Who’sMr.Finnegan?
“Themanwhoownsthishouse.”
Icouldntbelievemyears.“What?”
Myfatherclearedhisthroatandsaid,“Thelandlord.”
“Youmeanwedontownthishouse?”
Theylookedateachother,havingsomeprivatewordlessconversationIcouldn’tdecipher.Finallymy
fathersaid,“Ididntrealizeyoudidntknowthat.”
“But…butthatdoesntmake sense!Arentlandlordssupposedtocomeanddothings? Like fix the
roofwhenitleaksandclearthedrainswhentheyreplugged?Youalwaysdothatstuff,Dad.Whydoyou
doitwhenhe’ssupposedto?”
“Because,”hesighed,“itseasierthanaskinghimforhelp.”
“Butif—”
“And,”myfatherinterruptedme,“itkeepshimfromraisingtherent.”
“But…”
Mymotherreachedoverandtookmyhand.“Sweetheart,I’msorryifthisisashock.Iguesswealways
thoughtyouknew.”
“Butwhatabouttheyard?Whykeepuptheinsidebutnottheoutside?”
Myfatherfrownedandsaid,“Whenwesignedthelease,heassuredushewouldfixthefences,front
and back, and plant sod in the front yard. Obviously thatnever happened.” He shook his head. “Its a
majorundertaking,andfencingisnotcheap.Icantseeputtingthatsortofinvestmentintoapropertythats
notours.Plus,itstheprincipleofthething.”
“Butwelivehere,”Iwhispered,“anditlookssobad.”
Myfatherstudiedme.“Julianna,whathappened?
“Nothing,Daddy,”Isaid,butheknewIwaslying.
“Sweetheart,”hewhispered,“tellme.”
Iknewwhathe’dsayifItoldhim,andyetIcouldntnottellhim.Notwiththewayhewaslookingat
me.SoItookadeepbreathandsaid,“TheLoskishavebeenthrowingmyeggsawaybecausetheywere
afraidthey’dhavesalmonellabecauseouryardissuchamess.”
Myfathersaid,Oh,thatsridiculous,”butmymothergasped,What?”Thenshecried,“DidPatsysay
that?”
Ilookeddown.“No,Brycedid.”
“Butitmustvebeenafamilydiscussion!Aboydoesntcomeupwiththatonhisown…!”Mymother
lookedforalltheworldlikeadoewaitingtobeshotthroughtheheart.Shecoveredherfacewithher
handsandsaid,“Icantgoonlikethis!Robert,thingshavegottochange.They’vejustgotto!
“Trina,youknowImdoingthebestIcan.I’msorryabouttheyard,Imsorryaboutthesituation.This
isntthepictureIhadformylife,either,butsometimesyouhavetosacrificeforwhat’sright.”
My mother looked up from her hands and said, “This is not right for our family. Your daughter is
sufferingbecausewewontfixupourownyard.”
“Itsnotouryard.”
“How can you say that? Robert, wake up! We have lived here for twelve years. Its not temporary
anymore! If we ever want to have a decent place with our own yard, if we’re going to help the kids
throughcollegeordoanyoftheotherthingswe’vepromisedeachother,we’regoingtohavetomovehim
intogovernmentcare.”
Myfatherletoutadeepsighandwhispered,“We’vediscussedthissomanytimes,Trina.Intheend
youalwaysagreethatkeepinghimatGreenhavenistherightthingtodo.”
Iwantedtosay,Wait!Whatareyoutalkingabout?Whoareyoutalkingabout?Buttheconversationwas
flyingsofastandfuriousthatIcouldn’tseemtobreakin,anditwasn’tlongbeforetheywerebickeringso
badlythatitwasalmostlikeIwasntthere.
Theninthebackofmymind,itclicked.Everythingclicked.Itwasmydad’sbrothertheyweretalking
about.Myuncle.David.
TomeUncleDavidwasonlyaname.Someonemyparentshadexplainedtome,butnotsomeoneI’d
ever actually met. And even though I knew my dad visited him, I never knew exactly when. He never
talkedaboutit.
Dadalsothoughtweshouldn’ttalkaboutUncleDavidtoothersbecauseDavidwasretarded.People
jump to conclusions,” hed told me. They assume that, by association, something must also be wrong
withyou.Trustme,Iknow.”
Sowedidnttalkaboutit.Notathome,notwithfriends.ItwasalmostliketherewasnoUncleDavid.
Untilnow.Nowhefeltlargerthanlife,andIcouldtellfromtheirargumentthathewasthereasonwe
didnthaveourownhouse;hewasthereasonwedidnthavenicecarsorfancythings.Hewasthereason
therealwaysseemedtobeacloudofwearinesshangingovermyparents.
WhydidIhavetobringuptheyardinthefirstplace?I’dneverseenmyparentsfightlikethis.Ever.I
wantedtograbthemandsay,Stopit!Stopit!Youloveeachother!Youdo!ButIjustsattherewithtears
streamingdownmyface.
Mymotherstoppedsuddenlyandwhispered,“Weshouldnotbedoingthisinfrontofher!”
“Imsorry,Julianna,”mydadsaid,thenreachedoverandheldmyforearm.“Dontcry.Noneofthisis
yourfault.We’llworkitout,Ipromisewewill.”
Mymothertriedtolaughthroughhertears,saying,“Wealwayshave,andwealwayswill.”
Thatnightmyparentscameintomyroomandtalkedtome,oneatatime.Myfathertalkedabouthis
brotherandhowmuchhelovedhimandhowhe’dpromisedhisparentshe’dalwaystakecareofhim.My
mother talked about how much she loved my father for his strength and kind heart, about dreams and
reality,andthe needtocountyourblessings.And shemade me cryall overagainwhenshekissedme
goodnightandwhisperedthatofallhermanyblessings,Iwasherbestandbrightest.
Ifeltsorryformyfather.Ifeltsorryformymother.ButmostofallIfeltluckyformethattheywere
mine.
Andinthemorning,asIrodemyrustybikeoutthedrivewaytoschool,IpromisedmyselfthatwhenI
gothome,I’dtackletheyard.Rentedornot,thiswasourhome,andIwasgoingtohelpmakelivinghere
better.
Asitturnsout,thiswaseasierthoughtthandone.Firstittookmehalfanhourofrummagingthroughthe
garagetofindahammerandaboxofnails,asaw,andsomepruners.Thenittookanotherhalfhourof
standingaroundtofigureoutjustwheretostart.Theactualyardwasjustclumpsofweeds,butwhatabout
theborderingshrubs?ShouldIdigthemup,orprunethemwayback?Weretheyshrubs,orjustovergrown
weeds? Andwhataboutthefence?ShouldIknockit down,or rebuild it?MaybeIshould takeoutthe
frontendentirelyandusethewoodtofixupthesides.
ThelongerIlookedaround,themoreIfeltlikeforgettingthewholething.Whybother?Itwasntour
property.Mr.Finneganshouldbetheonemakingrepairs.
ButthenIrememberedmymother’swordsfromthenightbefore.Surely,Ithought,afewbushesand
somedilapidatedwoodcouldntstopsomeone’sbestandbrightestblessing!Surelynot!
Andwiththat,Ipickeduptheclippersandgottowork.
Half an hour later I was keeper of the knowledge that one bush equals many branches, and that the
volume of a bush increases exponentially as its cut and tossed into the middle of a yard. It was
ridiculous!WherewasIgoingtoputallthisstuff?
Mom came home and tried to talk me out of my mission, but Id have none ofit. Oh, no-no-no! Id
alreadyprunedtwobushesdowntoarespectablesize,andbeforelongshe’dsee—theplacewasgoing
tolookjustdandy.
“Youdidn’tgetthatstubbornstreakfromme,”shesaid,butcamebackoutsidewithaglassofjuiceand
akissformycheek.Goodenoughforme!
By the end of that first day, whatId made was a big mess. But if chaos is a necessary step in the
organizationofonesuniverse,thenIwaswellonmyway.Atleastthat’swhatItriedtotellmyselfwhen
Ifloppedintobedthatnight,deadtired.
And the next afternoon I was busily expanding the chaos of my little universe when I heard a deep
voicesay,“Thatsquiteanundertaking,younglady.”
ThemanstandingonoursidewalkwasBrycesgrandfather,Iknewthatmuch.ButI’donlyeverseen
himoutsideonetime.AlltheothertimesIdseenhimhadbeenthroughwindows—eitheroneintheir
sittingroomoroneintheircar.Tomehewasjustadark-hairedmanbehindglass.Havinghimappearon
mysidewalkwaslikehavingsomeonefromTVstepthroughthescreenandtalktoyou.
“Iknowweveseeneachotherfromtimetotime,”hewassaying.“Imsorryitstakenmeoverayear
to come introduce myself. I’m Chester Duncan, Bryces grandfather. And you, of course, are Julianna
Baker.”
Hestuckouthishand,soItookoffmyworkgloveandwatchedmyhandcompletelydisappearinside
hisasweshook.“Nicetomeetyou,Mr.Duncan,”Isaid,thinkingthatthismanwaswaybiggerthanhe
lookedfromthesitting-roomwindow.
Thenthestrangestthinghappened.Hepulledhisownworkglovesandapairofclippersfromaback
pocketandsaid,“Areyoupruningallofthesetothesameheight?”
“Oh,”Isaid.“Well,yes.ThatiswhatIwasthinking.AlthoughnowIdontknow.Doyouthinkitwould
lookbettertojusttakethemout?”
Heshookhisheadandsaid,“TheyreAustralianteashrubs.Theyllpruneupnicely.”Andwiththat,he
putonhisglovesandstartedclipping.
AtfirstIdidntknowwhattosaytothisman.Itwasverystrangetobegettinghishelp,butfromthe
wayhewasacting,itwasasthoughIshouldnthavethoughtathingofit.Clip-clip-clip,hewent,likethis
wassomethinghereallyenjoyeddoing.
ThenIrememberedwhatBrycehadsaidaboutouryard,andsuddenlyIknewwhyhewasthere.
“Whatsthematter?”heasked,throwinghisclippingsintomypile.“DidIcutitdowntoofar?
“N-no.”
“Thenwhythelook?”heasked.“Idon’tmeantomakeyouuncomfortable.Ijustthoughtyoumightlike
alittlehelp.”
“Well,Idont.Icandothisbymyself.”
Helaughedandsaid,Oh,Ihavenodoubtaboutthat,”thengotbacktoclipping.“Yousee,Julianna,I
readaboutyouinthepaper,andIvelivedacrossthestreetfromyouforoverayearnow.Itseasytosee
thatyoureaverycompetentperson.”
Webothworkedquietlyforaminute,butIfoundmyselfthrowingtheclippingsintothepileharderand
harder.AndbeforelongIcouldn’tstandit.Ijustcouldn’tstandit!Ispunonhimandsaid,“Yourehere
becauseyoufeelbadabouttheeggs,arentyou?Well,oureggsareperfectlyfine!We’vebeeneatingthem
fornearlythreeyearsandnoneofushavegottenpoisoned.Mrs.StuebyandMrs.Helmsseemingood
healthtome,too,andthefactofthematteris,ifyoudidntwantthem,youshould’vejusttoldmeso!”
Hishandsfelltohissidesandheshookhisheadashesaid,Eggs?Poisoned?Julianna,Ihavenoidea
whatyou’retalkingabout.”
InsideIwassoangryandhurtandembarrassedthatIdidntevenfeellikeme.I’mtalkingaboutthe
eggsthatI’vebeenbringingovertoyourhouseformorethantwoyears—eggsthatmychickenslaidthatI
could’vesold!Eggsthatyourfamilyhasbeenthrowingaway!”Iwasshoutingathim.Shoutingatanadult,
likeIdnevershoutedatanyoneinmyentirelife.
Hisvoicegotveryquiet.“Imsorry.Idontknowaboutanyeggs.Whodidyougivethemto?”
“Bryce!”MythroatchokedclosedasIsaidhisnameagain.“Bryce.”
Mr. Duncan nodded slowly and said, “Well,” then went back to pruning his bush. “That probably
explainsit.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
Hesighed.“Theboystillhasawaystogo.”
Ijuststaredathim,nottrustingmyselfwiththewordssizzlingonmytongue.
“Oh, he’s a very handsome boy, there’s no denying that,” he said with a frown. Then he snapped a
branchandadded,“Thespittingimageofhisfather.”
Ishookmyhead.“Whyareyouoverhere,Mr.Duncan?Ifyoudon’tthinkIneedthehelpandyourenot
feelingbadabouttheeggs,thenwhywouldyoudothis?
“Honestly?”
Ijustlookedathim,straightintheeye.
Henodded,thensaid,“Becauseyouremindmeofmywife.”
“Yourwife?”
“Thatsright.”Hegavemealittlesmileandsaid,Renéewould’vesatupinthattreewithyou.She
would’vesatthereallnight.”
Andwiththosetwosentences,myangervanished.“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
“She’s…shedied?”
Henodded.AndImissherterribly.”Hetossedabranchintotheheapandchuckled.“Theresnothing
likeahead-strongwomantomakeyouhappytobealive.”
The last thing in the world I expected was to become friends with Bryces grandfather. But by
dinnertimeIknewsomuchabouthimandhiswifeandtheadventurestheydhadtogetherthatitseemed
likeI’dknownhimforaverylongtime.Plus,allhisstoriesmadetheworkseemeasy.WhenIwentinfor
thenight,the busheswere allprunedback,and exceptfor the enormousheap inthecenteroftheyard,
thingswerealreadylookingawholelotbetter.
Thenextdayhewasback.AndwhenIsmiledandsaid,Hi,Mr.Duncan,”hesmiledbackandsaid,
“CallmeChet,wontyou?”Helookedatthehammerinmyhandandsaid,Itakeitwe’restartingonthe
fencetoday?”
Chettaught me how toplumb a line for the pickets, how tohold a hammer down on the end of the
handleinsteadofchokinguponit,howtocalculateanadjustedspacingforthepickets,andhowtousea
leveltogetthewoodexactlyvertical.Weworkedonthefencefordays,andthewholetimeweworked
wetalked.Itwasntjustabouthiswife,either.Hewantedtoknowaboutthesycamoretreeandseemedto
understandexactlywhatImeantwhenItoldaboutthewholebeinggreaterthanthesumofitsparts.“Its
thatwaywithpeople,too,”hesaid,onlywithpeopleitssometimesthatthewholeislessthanthesum
oftheparts.”
Ithoughtthatwasprettyinteresting.AndthenextdayduringschoolIlookedaroundatthepeopleI’d
knownsinceelementaryschool,tryingtofigureoutiftheyweremoreorlessthanthesumoftheirparts.
Chetwasright.Alotofthemwereless.
Topofthelist,ofcourse,wasShellyStalls.Tolookather,youdthinkshehadeverything,butthere’s
not much solid underneath her Mount Everest hair.And eventhoughshe’s like a black hole at sucking
peoplein,itdoesnttakethemlongtofigureoutthatbeingfriendswithherrequiresfanningtheflamesof
awildfireego.
Butofallmyclassmates,theonepersonIcouldntseemtoplacewasBryce.UntilrecentlyIdhave
saidwithabsolutecertaintythathewasgreater—fargreater—thanthesumofhisparts.Whathedidtomy
heartwassheer,inexplicablemagic.
Butinexplicablewastheoperativewordhere.AndasIlookedacrosstheroomathimduringmath,I
couldnthelp feeling crushed all over again abouthow he’d thrownout myeggs. Whatkindof person
woulddothat?
Thenhelookedmywayandsmiled,andmyheartlurched.ButIwasmadatmyselfforit.HowcouldI
stillfeelthiswayafterwhathe’ddone?
Iavoidedhimtherestoftheday,butbytheendofschooltherewasatornadoinsideme,tearingmeup
fromone endtotheother.Ijumpedonmybike androdehome fasterthan Ieverhadbefore. Theright
pedalclankedagainstthechainguard,andthewholebikerattledandsqueaked,threateningtocollapse
intoapileofrustyparts.
Thetornado,however,wasstillgoingstrongwhenIskiddedtoahaltinourdriveway.SoItransferred
pedal power intopaintingpower. Ipried open the gallon of Navajo White mydad hadboughtme and
startedsloppingpaintaround.
Chetappeared about ten minutes later. “My,” he laughed, youve gotan enviable amountof energy
today,dontyou?”
“No,”Isaid,brushingbacksomehairwiththebackofmyhand,“Imjustmad.”
Heproducedhisownbrushandanemptycoffeecan.“Uhoh.Whoat?”
“Myself!
“Oh,thatsatoughone.Didyoudopoorlyonatest?”
“No!I…”Iturnedtohimandsaid,“Howdidyoufallinlovewithyourwife?
HepouredsomeNavajoWhiteintohiscanandsmiled.“Ah,”hesaid.“Boyproblems.”
“Idonothaveboyproblems!
Hehesitatedbutdidntargue.Instead,hesaid,“Ifellinlovewithherbymistake.”
“Bymistake?Whatdoyoumean?”
“I didnt intend to. At the time I was engaged to somebody else, and in no position to fall in love.
FortunatelyformeIsawhowblindI’dbeenbeforeitwastoolate.”
“Blind?
“Yes.Myfianewasverybeautiful.Shehadthemostmagnificentbrowneyes,andskinlikeanangel.
AndforatimeallIcouldseewasherbeauty.Butthen…well,letsjustsayIdiscoveredshewasnta
fractionofthepersonRenéewas.”Hedippedhisbrushinthecoffeecanandstrokedapicketwithpaint.
“Itseasytolookbackandseeit,anditseasytogivetheadvice,butthesadfactis,mostpeopledont
lookbeneaththesurfaceuntilitstoolate.”
Wewerequietaminute,butIcouldseeChetthinking.Andfromthefurrowinhisbrow,Iknewithad
nothingtodowithmyproblems.“I’m…ImsorryIbroughtupyourwife,”Isaid.
“Oh,dontbe,thatsallright.”Heshookhisheadandtriedonasmile.“Besides,Iwasntthinkingof
Renée.Iwasthinkingofsomeoneelse.Someonewho’sneverbeenabletolookbeneaththesurface.At
thispointIdon’tsupposeIevenwantherto.”
Whowashetalkingabout?Iwantedtoknow!ButIfeltitwouldbecrossingsomelinetoask,sowe
paintedpicketsinsilence.Atlastheturnedtomeandsaid,“Getbeyondhiseyesandhissmileandthe
sheenofhishair—lookatwhatsreallythere.”
Thewayhesaiditsentachillthroughme.Itwasasthoughheknew.AndsuddenlyIfeltdefensive.Was
hetellingmehisgrandsonwasntworthit?
Whenitwastimetogoinfordinner,Istilldidntfeelright,butatleastthetornadowasgone.Mom
saidDadwasworkinglate,andsincetheboyswereoffwiththeirfriends,itwasjustthetwoofus.She
toldmethatsheandDadhadtalkedaboutitandthattheybothfeltalittlestrangehavingChetcomeover
likehewas.Maybe,shesaid,theyshouldfindawaytopayhimforhishelp.
Itold her IthoughtChetwould find thatinsulting,but the nextday she wentahead and insulted him
anyway.Chetsaid,“No,Mrs.Baker.Itsbeenmypleasuretohelpoutyourdaughteronthisproject,”and
wouldnthearanotherwordaboutit.
Theweekendedwithmydadloadingthebackofhistruckwithalltheclippingsandscrapsbeforehe
set off for work on Saturday morning. Then Chetand I spent the rest of the day hoeing up weeds and
rakingandreadyingthedirtforseeding.
ItwasonthislastdaythatChetasked,“Yourfamilysnotmoving,areyou?”
“Moving?Whydoyousaythat?”
“Oh,mydaughterbroughtupthepossibilityatthedinnertablelastnight.Shethoughtthatmaybeyoure
fixingupthehousebecauseyou’regettingreadytosellit.”
EventhoughChetandIhadtalkedaboutalotofthingswhilewewereworking,Iprobablywouldn’t
havetoldhimaboutMr.FinneganorUncleDavidorwhytheyardwassuchamessifhehadntaskedme
aboutmoving.Butsincehehad,well,Iwounduptellinghimeverything.Anditfeltgoodtotalkaboutit.
EspeciallyaboutUncleDavid.Itfeltlikeblowingadandelionintothewindandwatchingallthelittle
seedsfloatoff,upandaway.Iwasproudofmyparents,andlookingaroundthefrontyard,Iwasproudof
me,too.JustwaituntilIgotmyhandsonthebackyard!ThenmaybeIdevenpaintthehouse.Icoulddoit.
Icould.
ChetwasprettyquietafterItoldhimthestory,andwhenMombroughtusoutsandwichesatlunchtime,
wesatontheporchandatewithoutsayingaword.Thenhebrokethesilencebynoddingacrossthestreet
andsaying,“Idon’tknowwhyhedoesn’tjustcomeoutandsayhello.”
“Who?” I asked, then looked across the street to where he’d nodded. The curtain in Bryce’s room
movedquicklybackintoplace,andIcouldn’thelpasking,“Bryce?”
“ThatsthethirdtimeIveseenhimwatching.”
“Really?”Myheartwasflutteringaboutlikeababybirdtryingtofly.
Hefrownedandsaid,“Let’sfinishupandgetthatseedsown,shallwe?Youllwantthewarmthofthe
daytohelpwiththegermination.”
Iwas happytofinally beplantingthe yard, butIcouldn’t helpbeing distractedby Bryce’s window.
Washewatching?Duringtherestoftheafternoon,IcheckedmoreoftenthanI’dliketoadmit.AndI’m
afraidChetnoticed,too,becausewhenwewerealldoneandwe’dcongratulatedeachotheronwhatwas
suretobeafine-lookingyard,hesaid,“Hemaybeactinglikeacowardnow,butIdoholdouthopefor
theboy.”
Acoward?WhatonearthcouldIsaytothat?Ijuststoodtherewiththehoseinonehandandthespigot
valvebeneaththeother.
Andwiththat,Chetwavedsolongandwalkedacrossthestreet.
AfewminuteslaterIsawBrycecomingdownthesidewalktowardhishouse.Ididadoubletake.All
thistimeI’dthoughthewasinsidethehousewatching,andhewasreallyoutsidewalkingaround?Iwas
embarrassedalloveragain.
Iturnedmybackonhimandconcentratedonwateringtheyard.WhatafoolIwas!Whatacomplete
idiot!AndIhadjustbuiltupaniceheadofangrysteamwhenIheard,“Itslookinggood,Juli.Nicejob.”
ItwasBryce,standingrightthereonourdriveway.AndsuddenlyIwasntmadatmeanymore.Iwas
mad at him. How could he stand there like my supervisor and tell me, Nice job? He had no business
sayinganythingafterwhathe’ddone.
I was about to hose him down when he said, I’m sorry for what I did, Juli. It was, you
know…wrong.”
Ilookedathim—intothosebrilliantblueeyes.AndItriedtodowhatChethadsaid—Itriedtolook
pastthem.Whatwasbehindthem?Whatwashethinking?Washereallysorry?Orwashejustfeelingbad
aboutthethingshe’dsaid?
Itwaslikelookingintothesun,though,andIhadtoturnaway.
Icouldn’ttellyouwhatwetalkedaboutafterthat,exceptthathewasnicetomeandhemademelaugh.
Andafterheleft,Ishutoffthewaterandwentinsidefeelingvery,verystrange.
TherestoftheeveningI bounced back and forth betweenupset and uneasy. The worstpartbeing, I
couldntreallyputmyfingeronwhatexactlyIwasupsetoruneasyabout.OfcourseitwasBryce,but
whywasntIjustmad?He’dbeensucha…scoundrel.Orhappy?WhywasntIjusthappy?He’dcome
overtoourhouse.He’dstoodonourdriveway.He’dsaidnicethings.We’dlaughed.
But I wasn’t mad or happy. And as I lay in bed trying to read, I realized that upset had been
overshadowedbyuneasy.Ifeltasthoughsomeonewaswatchingme.IgotsospookedIevengotupand
checkedoutthewindowandintheclosetandunderthebed,butstillthefeelingdidntgoaway.
Ittookmeuntilnearlymidnighttounderstandwhatitwas.
Itwasme.Watchingme.
Bryce:LoomingLargeandSmelly
SundayIwokeupfeelinglikeI’dbeensickwiththeflu.LikeI’dhadoneofthosebad,convoluted,
unexplainablefeverdreams.
AndwhatIvefiguredoutaboutbad,convoluted,unexplainabledreamsofanykindisthatyouvejust
gottoshakethemoff.Trytoforgetthattheyeverhappened.
Ishookitoff,allright,andgotoutofbedearly’causeIhadeatenalmostnothingthenightbeforeandI
wasstarving!ButasIwastruckingintothekitchen,Iglancedintothefamilyroomandnoticedthatmy
dadwassackedoutonthecouch.
Thiswasnotgood.Thiswasasignofbattlesstillinprogress,anditmademefeellikeaninvaderin
myownterritory.
He rolled over and kind of groaned, then curled up tighter under his skinny little quiltand muttered
someprettyunfriendly-soundingstuffintohispillow.
Ibeatitintothekitchenandpouredmyselfakillerbowlofcornflakes.AndIwasabouttodrownitin
milkwhenmymothercomeswaltzinginandsnagsitawayfromme.“Youaregoingtowait,youngman,”
shesays.“ThisfamilyisgoingtohaveSundaybreakfasttogether.”
“ButImstarving!”
“Soaretherestofus.Nowgo!Immakingpancakes,andyou’retakingashower.Go!
Likeashowersgoingtopreventimminentstarvation.
ButIheadeddowntothebathroom,andonmywayInoticedthatthefamilyroomwasempty.Thequilt
wasfoldedandbackonthearmrest,thepillowwasgone…itwaslikeI’dimaginedthewholething.
Atbreakfastmyfatherdidntlooklikehe’dspentthenightonthecouch.Nobagsunderhiseyes,no
whiskersonhischin.Hewasdeckedoutintennisshortsandalavenderpoloshirt,andhishairwasall
blowndrylikeitwasaworkday. PersonallyIthoughttheshirtlookedkindofgirly,butmymomsaid,
“Youlookverynicethismorning,Rick.”
Myfatherjusteyedhersuspiciously.
Then my grandfather came in, saying, “Patsy, the house smells wonderful! Good morning, Rick. Hi
there,Bryce,”andwinkedatmeashesatdownandputhisnapkininhislap.
“Lyn-et-ta!”mymothersangout.“Break-fast!
My sister appeared in a triple-X miniskirt and platform shoes, with eyes that were definitely of the
raccoon variety. My mother gasped, but then took a deep breath and said, Good morning, honey.
You’re…you’re…Ithoughtyouweregoingtochurchthismorningwithyourfriends.”
“Iam.”Lynettascowledandsatdown.
Mom brought pancakes, fried eggs, and hash browns to the table. My father just sat there stiff as a
boardforaminute,butfinallyheshookouthisnapkinandtuckeditintohiscollar.
“Well,”mymothersaidasshesatdown,“Ihavecomeupwithasolutiontooursituation.”
“Hereitcomes…,”myfathermuttered,butmymothergavehimaglarethatshuthimdowncold.
“Thesolutionis…,”mymomsaidassheservedherselfsomepancakes,“…we’regoingtoinvitethe
Bakersoverfordinner.”
My father blurts out, “What?”; Lynetta asks, All of them?”; I put in, Are you serious?”; but my
grandfatherheapsonanotherfriedeggandsays,“That,Patsy,isamarvelousidea.”
“Thanks,Dad,”shesayswithasmile,thentellsLynettaandme,“OfcourseImserious,andyes,ifJuli
andtheboyswanttocome,theyllbeinvited.”
Mysisterstartscrackingup.“Doyouknowwhatyouresaying?
Momsmoothsthenapkinintoherlap.“MaybeitsabouttimeIfoundout.”
Lynetta turns to me and says, “Shes inviting the core of Piss Poor over for dinner — oh, this is
somethingIreallywokeupexpecting!”
My father shakes his head and says, “Patsy, what purpose does this serve? So I made some stupid
crackslastnight.Isthisthenextphaseinmypunishment?”
“Itissomethingweshouldhavedoneyearsago.”
“Patsy,please.Iknowyoufeelbadaboutwhatyoufoundout,butanawkwarddinnerpartyisntgoing
tochangeanything!
Mymotherransyrupalloverherpancakes,poppedthetopclosed,lickedherfinger,thenlockedeyes
withmydad.“WearehavingtheBakersoverfordinner.”
Andthat,shedidnthavetotellhim,wasthat.
Dadtookadeepbreath,thensighedandsaid,Whateveryouwant,Patsy.JustdontsayIdidntwarn
you.”Hetookabiteofhashbrownsandmumbled,“Abarbecue,Isuppose?”
“No,Rick.Asit-downdinner.Likewehavewhenyourclientscomeover.”
Hestoppedchewing.“Youreexpectingthemtodressup?
Momglaredathim.WhatImexpectingisforyoutobehavelikethegentlemanIalwaysthoughtyou
were.”
Dadwentbacktohispotatoes.DefinitelysaferthanarguingwithMom.
Lynettawoundupeatingtheentirewhiteofafriedeggandalmostawholepancakebesides.Plain,of
course,butfromthewayshewasgluttingandgigglingassheate,itwasobviousthatatleastshewasina
goodmood.
Granddadateplenty,evenforhim,butIcouldnttellwhathewas thinking. Hewas backtolooking
moregranitethanhuman.Me,Idstartedtuningintothefactthatthisdinnercouldbemorethanawkward
—itcouldbetrouble.Thoserotteneggswerebackfromthegrave,loominglargeandsmellyrightover
myhead.
Sure, Granddad knew, but noone else inmy familydid. Whatif it came upatdinner? I’d be dead,
fried,cluck-facedmeat.
Later,asIwasbrushingmyteeth,IconsideredbribingJuli.Gettingheronboardsothatnobodybrought
upthesubjectofeggs.OrmaybeIcouldsabotagethedinnersomehow.Makeitnothappen.Yeah,Icould
—Istoppedmyselfandlookedinthemirror.WhatkindofwimpwasI,anyway?Ispitandheadedback
tofindmymom.
“Whatisit,honey?”sheaskedmeasshewipedoffthegriddle.“Youlookworried.”
Idouble-checkedtomakesuremydadorLynettawasntlurkingaroundsomewhere,thenwhispered,
“Willyousweartosecrecy?”
Shelaughed.“Idontknowaboutthat.”
Ijustwaited.
“Whatcanbe…,”shesaid,thenlookedatmeandstoppedcleaning.“Oh,itisserious.Honey,whats
wrong?”
It had been ages since I’d voluntarily fessed up about something to my mom. It just didn’t seem
necessaryanymore;Idlearnedtodealwiththingsonmyown.Atleast,thatswhatI’dthought.Untilnow.
Shetouchedmyarmandsaid,“Bryce,tellme.Whatisit?”
Ihoppeduptositonthecounter,thentookadeepbreathandsaid,“ItsaboutJuli’seggs.”
“Abouther…eggs?”
“Yeah.Rememberthatwholechicken-hen-salmonelladisaster?”
“Thatwasquiteawhileago,butsure….”
“Well,whatyoudon’tknowisthatJulididntbringeggsoverjustthatonce.Shesbeenbringingthem
overeveryweek…oraboutthat,anyway.”
“Shehas?WhydidntIknowaboutthis?”
“Well, I was afraid Dad would get mad at me for not telling her we didn’t want them, so I started
interceptingthem.Idseehercoming,gettoherbeforesherangthebell,andthenIdtosstheminthetrash
beforeanyoneknewshe’dbeenhere.”
“Oh,Bryce!
“Well,Ikeptthinkingtheydstop!Howlongcanastupidchickenlayeggs?
“ButItakeittheyhavestopped?”
“Yeah.Asoflastweek.BecauseJulicaughtmechuckingacartoninthetrashoutside.”
“Oh,dear.”
“Exactly.”
“Sowhatdidyoutellher?”
I looked down and mumbled, “I told her thatwe were afraid of salmonella poisoning because their
yardwassuchamess.Sheranoffcrying,andthenextthingIknow,she’sstartingtofixuptheiryard.”
“Oh,Bryce!
“Exactly.”
Shewasdeadquietforaminute;thenverysoftlyshesaid,“Thankyouforyourhonesty,Bryce.Itdoes
helptoexplainalot.”Sheshookherheadandsaid,Whatthatfamilymustthinkofus,”andgotbackto
cleaningthegriddle.“Allthemorereasontohavethemoverfordinner,ifyouaskme.”
Iwhispered,“You’resworntosecrecyonthiswholeeggthing,right?Imean,JulitoldGranddad,sohe
knows,butIdontwantthistospreadto,youknow,Dad.”
Shestudiedmeaminute,thensaid,“Tellmeyouvelearnedyourlesson,honey.”
“Ihave,Mom.”
“Okay,then.”
Iletoutabigsighofrelief.“Thanks.”
“Oh,andBryce?
“Yeah?
“Imverygladyoutoldmeaboutit.”Shekissedmeonthecheek,thensmiledandsaid,Now,didn’tI
hearyoupromiseyoudmowthelawntoday?”
“Right,”Isaid,andheadedoutsidetotrimtheturf.
ThateveningmymotherannouncedthattheBakerswouldbeoverFridaynightatsixo’clock;thatthe
menuincludedpoachedsalmon,crabrisotto,andfreshsteamedvegetables;andthatnoneofushadbetter
weaseloutofbeingthere.Mydadmutteredthatifwewerereallygoingtodothis,itwouldbeawholelot
bettertobarbecuebecauseatleastthatwayhe’dhavesomethingtodo,butmymompositivelysmoked
himwithhereyesandhedroppedit.
So. They were coming. And it made seeing Juli at school even more uncomfortable than usual. Not
becauseshegushedaboutitorevenwavedandwinkedorsomething.No,shewasbacktoavoidingme.
She’d say hi if we happened to run into each other, but instead of being, like, right over my shoulder
anytime Ilooked, she was nowhere. She musthave ducked out back doors and taken roundabout ways
throughcampus.Shewas,Idon’tknow,scarce.
I found myself looking at her in class. The teacherd be talking and all eyes would be up
front…exceptmine.TheykeptwanderingovertoJuli.Itwasweird.OneminuteI’dbelisteningtothe
teacher,andthenextI’dbecompletelytunedout,lookingatJuli.
It wasnt until Wednesday in math that I figured it out. With the way her hair fell back over her
shouldersandherheadwastilted,shelookedlikethepictureinthepaper.Notjustlikeit—theangle
wasdifferent,andthewindwasntblowingthroughherhair—butshedidlooklikethepicture.Alotlike
thepicture.
Makingthatconnectionsentachilldownmyspine.AndIwondered—whatwasshethinking?Could
shereallybethatinterestedinrootderivations?
DarlaTresslercaughtmewatching,andman,shegavemetheworld’swickedestsmile.IfIdidntdo
somethingfast,thiswasgoingtospreadlikewildfire,soIsquintedatherandwhispered,Theresabee
inherhair,stupid,”thenpointedaroundintheairlike,Thereitgoes,see?
Darla’sneckwhippedaroundsearchingforthebee,andIstraightenedoutmyfocusfortherestofthe
day.ThelastthingIneededwastobescorchedbythelikesofDarlaTressler.
ThatnightIwas doing my homework,and justto prove to myself thatIdbeen wrong, I pulledthat
newspaperarticleoutofmytrashcan.AndasI’mflippingitover,I’mtellingmyself,Itsadistortionof
reality;itsmyimagination;shedoesntreallylooklikethat….
But there she was. The girl in my math class, two rows over and one seat up, glowing through
newsprint.
Lynettabargedin.“Ineedyoursharpener,”shesaid.
Islammedmybinderclosedoverthepaperandsaid,You’resupposedtoknock!”Andthen,sinceshe
waszoominginandthepaperwasstillstickingout,IcrammedthebinderintomybackpackasfastasI
could.
“Whatareyoutryingtohidethere,babybrother?
“Nothing,andstopcallingmethat!Anddontbargeintomyroomanymore!
“GivemeyoursharpenerandImhistory,”shesaidwithherhandout.
Idugitoutofmydrawerandtosseditather,andsureenough,shedisappeared.
Buttwosecondslatermymomwascallingforme,andafterthat,well,Iforgotthatthepaperwasinmy
binder.
Untilfirstperiodthenextmorning,thatis.Man!WhatwasIsupposedtodowithit?Icouldntgetup
andthrowitout;Garrettwasrightthere.Besidesthat,DarlaTresslersinthatclass,andIcouldtell
shewaskeepinganeyeoutforwaywardbees.Ifshecaughtwindofthis,I’dbetheonestung.
ThenGarrettreachesovertosnagapieceofpaperlikehedoesaboutfourteentimesaday,onlyIhave
acompletementalspazandslamdownonhishandwithmine.
“Dude!”hesays.“Whatsyourproblem?”
“Sorry,”Isay,tuningintothefactthathewasonlygoingforlinedpaper,notnewspaper.
“Dude,”hesaysagain.“Youknowyouvebeenreallyspacedlately?Anyoneelsetellyouthat?”He
ripsapieceofpaperoutofmybinder,thennoticestheedgesofthenewspaper.Heeyesme,andbeforeI
canstophim,hewhipsitout.
Ipounceonhimandtearitoutofhishands,butitstoolate.He’sseenherpicture.
Beforehecansayaword,Igetinhisfaceandsay,“Youshutup,youhearme?Thisisnotwhatyou
think.”
“Whoa,kickback,willya?Iwasn’tthinkinganything….”ButIcouldseethelittlegearsgoclick-
click-click in his brain. Then he smirks at me and says, I’m sure youve got a perfectly reasonable
explanationforwhyyou’recarryingapictureofJuliBakeraroundwithyou.”
Thewayhesaiditscaredme.Likehewasplayingwiththeideaofroastingmeinfrontofthewhole
class.Ileanedoverandsaid,“Zipit,wouldyou?”
Theteacherhammeredon usto bequiet,butitdidnt stopGarrett fromsmirkingat me or doing the
double-eyebrow wiggle in the direction of my binder. After class Darla tried to act all cool and
preoccupied,butshehadherradarupandpointedourway.Sheshadowedmepracticallyallday,sothere
wasnorealwindowofopportunitytoexplainthingstoGarrett.
WhatwasIgoingtotellhim,anyway?ThatthepaperwasinmybinderbecauseIwastryingtohideit
frommysister?Thatwouldhelp.
Besides,Ididntwanttomakeupsomelamelieaboutit.IactuallywantedtotalktoGarrett.Imean,he
wasmyfriend,andalothadhappenedinthelastcoupleofmonthsthatwasweighingonme.Ithoughtthat
if I talked to him, maybe he’d help get me back on track. Help me to stop thinking about everything.
Garrettwasrealreliableinthatarena.
Luckily, in social studies our class got library time to do research for our famous historical figure
report. Darla andJuli were both in that class, butI managed todrag Garrett into a back corner of the
librarywithouteitherofthemnoticing.Andtheminutewewerebyourselves,Ifoundmyselflayinginto
Garrettaboutchickens.
Heshakeshisheadatmeandsays,“Dude!Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“Rememberwhenwewentandlookedoverherfence?
“Backinthesixthgrade?”
“Yeah.Rememberhowyouweredownonmeforwonderingwhatahenwas?”
Herolledhiseyes.“Notthisagain….”
“Man,youdidn’tknowjack-diddly-squataboutchickens.Iputmylifeinyourhandsandyoudumped
meinabucketofbull.”
SoItoldhimaboutmydadandtheeggsandsalmonellaandhowI’dbeeninterceptingeggsfornearly
twoyears.
Hejustshruggedandsaid,“Makessensetome.”
“Man,shecaughtme!”
“Who?”
“Juli!”
“Whoa,dude!
ItoldhimaboutwhatIdsaid,andhowalmostrightafterthatshewasoutplayingweedwarriorinher
frontyard.
“Well,so?Itsnotyourfaultheryard’samess.”
“Butthen I foundout that theydont even own thathouse. They’re all poorbecause her dad’s got a
retardedbrotherthattheyre,youknow,payingfor.”
Garrettgivesmearealchumpygrinandsays,“Aretard?Well,thatexplainsalot,doesntit?”
Icouldntbelievemyears.“What?”
“Youknow,”hesays,stillgrinning,“aboutJuli.”
Myheartstartedpoundingandmyhandsclenchedup.AndforthefirsttimesinceIdlearnedtodive
awayfromtrouble,Iwantedtodecksomebody.
Butwewereinthelibrary.Andbesides,itflashedthroughmymindthatifIdeckedhimforwhathe’d
said,he’dturnaroundandtelleveryonethatIwashotforJuliBaker,andIwasnothotforJuliBaker!
SoImademyselflaugh andsay,“Oh, right,”andthencameupwith anexcusetoputsomedistance
betweenhimandme.
AfterschoolGarrettaskedmetocometohishouseandhangforawhile,butIhadzerointerestinthat.
Istillwantedtoslughim.
Itried totalk myself down from feeling thatway, butin mygutIwas flaming mad at the guy. He’d
crossedtheline,man.He’dcrosseditbig-time.
Andwhatmadethewholethingsostinkinghardtoignorewasthefactthatstandingrightnexttohim,on
theothersideoftheline,wasmyfather.
Juli:TheVisit
Sundaymorningsarepeacefulinourhouse.Myfatherletshimselfsleepin.Mymotherletsherselfnot
fixbreakfast.Andifmybrothershavebeenoutlateplayingwiththeirband,youwontevenknowtheyre
arounduntilnoon.
UsuallyItiptoeouttocollecteggswhileeveryoneelseisasleep,thenspiritabowlofCheeriosbackto
myroomtohavebreakfastinbedandread.
ButthatSunday—afterspendingmostofthe nightfeeling upsetoruneasy—I wokeupwanting todo
somethingphysical.ToshakeofftheconfusedwayIwasstillfeeling.
WhatIreallyneededwasagoodclimbinmysycamoretree,butIsettledforwateringthelawnwhileI
triedtothinkofotherthings.IcrankedopenthespigotandadmiredhowrichandblackthedirtlookedasI
sprinkledbackandforthacrossthesoil.AndIwasbusytalkingtomyburiedseedlings,coaxingthemto
springupandgreettherisingsun,whenmyfathercameoutside.Hishairwasdampfromashower,andhe
hadagrocerysackrolledclosedinhishand.“Dad!ImsorryifIwokeyou.”
“Youdidnt,sweetheart.I’vebeenupforawhile.”
“Yourenotgoingtowork,areyou?”
“No,I…”Hestudiedmeforamoment,thensaid,“ImgoingtovisitDavid.”
UncleDavid?”
Hewalkedtowardhistruck,saying,“Thatsright.I…Ishouldbebackaroundnoon.”
“ButDad,whytoday?ItsSunday.”
“Iknow,sweetheart,butitsaspecialSunday.”
Iturnedoffthespigot.“Whysthat?”
“Itshisfortiethbirthday.Iwanttoseehimanddeliveragift,”hesaidasheheldupthepaperbag.
“Dontworry.Illrustleusupsomepancakesforlunch,allright?”
“Imcomingwithyou,”Isaid,andtossedthehoseaside.Iwasntevenreallydressed—Idjustpulled
onsomesweatsandsneakers,nosocks—butinmymindtherewasnodoubt.Iwasgoing.
“Whydontyoustayhomeandenjoythemorningwithyourmother?I’msureshewould—”
Iwentovertothepassengersideofhistruckandsaid,“Imcoming,”thenclimbedinsideandslammed
thedoorbackinplace.
“But—”hesaidthroughthedriversdoor.
“Imcoming,Dad.”
Hestudiedmeamoment,thensaid,“Okay,”andputthebagonthebenchseat.“Letmeleaveanotefor
yourmother.”
Whilehewasinside,Istrappedonthelapbeltandtoldmyselfthatthiswasgood.Thiswassomething
Ishould’vedoneyearsago.UncleDavidwaspartofthefamily,partofmyfather,partofme.Itwasabout
timeIgottoknowhim.
I studied the paper sack sitting next to me. What was my father bringing his brother for his fortieth
birthday?
Ipickeditup.Itwasntapainting—itwasmuchtoolightforthat.Plus,itmadeastrange,mutedrattling
noisewhenIshookit.
Iwasjustunrollingthetoptopeekinsidewhenmyfathercamebackthroughthefrontdoor.Idropped
thesackandstraightenedup,andwhenheslidbehindthewheel,Isaid,“Itsokaywithyou,isntit?”
Hejustlookedatme,hishandonthekeyintheignition.
“I…I’mnotruiningyourdaywithhimoranything,amI?”
Hecrankedthemotorandsaid,“No,sweetheart.Imgladyourecoming.”
WedidntsaymuchtoeachotheronthedriveovertoGreenhaven.Heseemedtowanttolookatthe
sceneryandI,well,Ihadalotofquestions,butnoneIwantedtoask.Itwasnice,though,ridingwithmy
father.Itwaslikethesilenceconnectedusinawaythatexplanationsnevercould.
WhenwearrivedatGreenhaven,myfatherparkedthetruck,butwedidntgetoutrightaway.“Ittakes
somegettingusedto,Julianna,butitdoesgrowonyou.Theygrowonyou.Theyreallgoodpeople.”
Inodded,butfeltoddlyafraid.
“Comeon,then,”hesaid,takingthesackfromtheseat.“Letsgoinside.”
Greenhavendidn’tlooklikeanykindofhospitaltome,butitdidntlookquitelikeahouse,either.It
wastoolongandrectangularforthat.Thewalkwayhadafadedgreenawningthatcoveredit,andflower
beds alongside with freshly planted pansies that looked muddied and slightly askew. The grass was
patchy,withthreedeepholesdugnearthebuilding.
“Theresidentstendthegrounds,”myfathersaid.Itspartoftheiroccupationaltrainingprogram,and
itstherapeutic.ThoseholesarethefuturehomesofPeach,Plum,andPear.”
“Fruittrees?
“Yes.Thevotecausedquiteacommotion.”
“Amongthe…residents?”
“Thatsright.”Heswungopenoneoftheglassdoubledoorsandsaid,“Comeonin.”
It was cool inside. And it smelled of pine cleaner and bleach, with something vaguely pungent
underneath.
Therewasn’tareceptiondeskorwaitingarea,justalargeintersectionwithwhitewallsandnarrow
woodenbenches.Totheleftwasabigroomwithatelevisionandseveralrowsofplasticchairs,tothe
rightwereopenofficedoors,andbesideusweretwopinearmoires.Onewasopen,withhalfadozen
graysweatershungneatlyinarow.
“Goodmorning,Robert!”awomancalledthroughoneoftheofficedoors.
“Goodmorning,Josie,”myfatherreplied.
Shecameouttomeetus,saying,“David’supandabout.Hasbeensincearoundsix.Mabeltellsmeit’s
hisbirthdaytoday.”
“Mabelisrightagain.”Heturnedtomeandsmiled.“Josie,it’smypleasuretointroducemydaughter,
Julianna.Julianna,meetJosieGruenmakker.”
“Wellnow,isntthisnice,”Josiesaid,claspingmyhand.“IrecognizeyoufromDavid’sphotoalbum.
You’regettinreadytograduateintohighschool,isntthatright?”
Iblinkedather,thenlookedatmydad.I’dneverreallythoughtofitthatway,butIcouldseethathe
had.“Yes,I…IsupposeIam.”
“Josie’sthesiteadministrator.”
“And,”Josieaddedwithalaugh,I’mnotgraduatintonowhere!Beenhereseventeenyears,andIm
stayingput.”Thephonerangandshehurriedoff,saying,“Gottagetthat.Illmeetupwithyouinabit.
Checktherecroom,thenhisroom.You’llfindhim.”
Mydadledmearoundacorner,andasweproceededdownahallway,theunderlyingpungentpartof
the smell got stronger. Liketheplace hadhadyears ofMystery Pissers, with no onequiteneutralizing
whathadbeentagged.
Downthehallwasasmallpersonhunchedinawheel-chair.AtfirstIthoughtitwasachild,butaswe
approached,I could see it was a woman.She had almostno hair,andas she gave my dad a toothless
smile,shegrabbedhishandandspoke.
Myheartbottomedout.Thesoundsshemadewerechokedandlostonhertongue.Nothingshesaidwas
intelligible,yetshelookedatmyfatherwithsuchintensity—likeofcourseheunderstoodwhatshewas
saying.
Tomycompletesurprise,hesaid,“You’reabsolutelyright,Mabel.Itistoday.WhichiswhyImhere.”
Heheldupthegrocerysackandwhispered,“I’vebroughthimalittlegift.”
“Gwa-aaal,”shesaid.“How’dyouknow?
She gurgled at him until he patted her hand and said, “Im much too predictable, Im afraid. Buthe
enjoysthem,and…”Henoticedhergazeshiftinmydirection.
“Hoohaa,”shesaid.
“Thisismydaughter,Julianna.Julianna,IdlikeyoutomeettheextraordinaryMissMabel.Shecan
remembereveryonesbirthday,andshehasarealpassionforstrawberrymilkshakes.”
Imanagedasmileandwhispered,“Nicetomeetyou,”butallIgotinreturnwasasuspiciousscowl.
“Well,we’reofftoDavid’s,”myfathersaid,thenshookthebag.“Dontspillthebeansifhehappens
by.”
Ifollowedhimtoabedroomdoorway,wherehestoppedandcalled,“David?David,itsRobert.”
A man appeared at the door. A man I would never have picked out as my fathers brother. He was
stocky,withthickbrownglasses,andhisfacelookedpuffyandpale.Buthethrewhisarmsaroundmy
fatherschestandcried,“Wobbad!Yawheew!
“Yes,Iam,littlebrother.”
Ifollowed them intothe room and saw thatthe walls were covered in a collage ofpuzzles.Theyd
beenglueddirectlytothewallsandevenupontheceiling!Itwascozyandcomfortable,andinteresting.I
feltasthoughI’denteredaquiltedcave.
Myfatherheldhisbrotheratarmslengthandsaid,“AndlookwhoI’vebroughtalong!
ForasplitsecondDavidlookedalmostfrightened,butthenmyfathersaid,“Itsmydaughter,Julianna.”
David’sfacebrokeintoasmile.“Ju-weee-an-na!”hecried,thenpracticallytackledmewithahug.
IthoughtIwasgoingtosuffocate.Myfacewasburiedashesqueezedtheairoutofmeandrockedfrom
sidetoside.Thenwithagiggleheletgoandfloppedintoachair.“Ismooybwuf-day!
“Iknow,UncleDavid.Happybirthday!
Hegiggledagain.“Fwankeoow!
“Webroughtyouapresent,”mydadsaidasheopenedthepapersack.
Beforehehaditout,beforeIsawtheactualsize,IrememberedthesoundithadmadewhenI’dshaken
itinthetruck.Ofcourse!Ithought.Apuzzle.
UncleDavidguessedit,too.“Apuwwwle?
“Notjustapuzzle,”mydadsaidashepulleditoutofthesack.“Apuzzleandapinwheel.”
Dadhadwrappedthepuzzleboxupinprettybluepaperandhadtapedthered-and-yellowpinwheelon
asabow.UncleDavidsnatchedthepinwheelrightoffandblew.Firstgently,thenfiercely,ingreatspitty
bursts.“Ownge!”hecriedbetweenblows.“Ownge!
VerygentlyDad tookitfromhimandsmiled.Red andyellow do makeorange,dontthey?”David
triedtograbitback,butmyfathersaid,“We’lltakeitoutsidelater.Thewindwillblowitforyou,”and
pressedthepuzzlebackinhishands.
Asthewrappingpaperfellinshredsonthefloor,Ileanedintoseewhatsortofpuzzlemyfatherhad
boughthimandgasped.Threethousandpieces!Andtheimagewassimplywhitecloudsandbluesky.No
shading,notrees—nothingbutthecloudsandthesky.
Myfatherpointedtoaspotinthecenteroftheceiling.“Ithoughtitwouldfitjustrightoverthere.”
UncleDavidlookedupandnodded,thenlungedforhispinwheelandsaid,“Owsiiide?”
“Sure.Letsgooutforawalk.FeellikegoingdowntoMcElliotsforabirthdayicecream?
UncleDavid’sheadbobbedupanddown.“Yaaah!”
We checked outthrough Josie, thenheaded down the street. David cant walk very fast because his
bodyseemstowanttomoveinwardinsteadofforward.Hisfeetpigeon-toeandhisshouldershunchin,
andheseemedtoleanonmyfatherprettyheavilyaswemovedalong.
Buthekeptthatpinwheelinfrontofhim,watchingitspin,cryingeverynowandthen,Owwwange,
owwwange!
McElliot’sturnedouttobeadrugstorewithanicecreamparlorinside.Therewasared-and-white-
stripedawningovertheicecreamcounter,andtherewerelittlewhitetablesandchairssetinanareawith
red-and-white-stripedwallpaper.Itwasveryfestive-looking,especiallyforbeinginsideadrugstore.
Dadgotusallcones,andonceweweresittingdown,DadandDaviddidtalktoeachothersome,but
mostlyDavidwantedtoeathischocolatefudgeswirl.Myfathersmiledatmefromtimetotime,andI
smiledback,butIfeltdisconnected.Howmanytimeshadthetwoofthemcomehereforicecream?How
manybirthdayshadmyfathercelebratedwithhisbrotherlikethis?HowlonghadheknownMabeland
JosieandtherestofthepeopleatGreenhaven?Howcoulditbethatinalltheseyears,Idneverspentany
timewithmyuncle?Itwaslikemyfatherhadasecretlifeawayfromme.Acompletefamilyawayfrom
me.
Ididntlikeit.Didntunderstandit.AndIwasgettingmyselfprettyworkedupaboutitwhenDavid’s
conecrushedinhisgrip,causinghisicecreamtoflopontothetable.
Beforemydadcouldstophim,Davidpickeduptheicecreamandtriedtocramitbackontothecone.
Buttheconewasshatteredandtheicecreamfelloveragain,onlythistimeitlandedonthefloor.
Mydadsaid,“Leaveit,David.I’llgetyouanewone,”butDaviddidn’tlisten.Hischairshotbackand
hedoveafterit.
“No,David!Letmegetyouanewone.”Mydadpulledhimbythearm,butDavidwouldntbudge.He
grabbedtheicecreamandcrammeditbackontowhatwasleftofhiscone,andwhenthebottompartof
hisconecrumbledcompletelyaway,hestartedscreaming.
Itwasawful.Hewaslikeatwo-hundred-poundinfant,throwingatantrumonthefloor.Hewasyelling
wordsIcouldntunderstand,andafteraminuteoftryingtocalmhimdown,myfathersaid,“Julianna,can
yougethimanothercone?”
Themanbehindthecounterscoopedasfastashecould,butinthatshorttimeDavidknockedovera
table and two chairs with his flailing and managed to smear chocolate everywhere. The checkers and
customersattheregistersseemedfrozenwithterror—likeDavidwassomesortofmonsterouttodestroy
theworld.
Igavethenewconetomyfather,whohandedittoDavid,rightthereonthefloor.AndwhileDavidsat
there eating it,my father andIworkedaround him, puttingeverythingback inorder andwipingupthe
mess.
OnthewalkbacktoGreenhaven,Davidactedlikenothinghadhappened.Hespurtedintohispinwheel
andcried,Owwwange!”fromtimetotime,butwhenmydadheldopenthefrontdoor,Icouldtellthat
Davidwastired.
DowninhisroomDavidplacedthepinwheelonhisbedandpickedupthepuzzlebox.“Whydontyou
takearestbeforeyougetstartedonit?”mydadasked.
Davidshookhishead.“Naaow.”
“Okay,then.Letmehelpyousetitup.”
My father pulled a card table from beneath the bed, then swung the legs out and snapped them into
place. After he had itshoved upagainstthe wall near the bed, he moved a chair close to it and said,
“Thereyouare.Allsetup.”
Davidhadtheboxopenandwasalreadysiftingthroughthepieces.“Aaaasagouwwwone,Wobbad.”
“Imgladyoulikeit.YouthinkyoumighthaveitdonebyWednesday?Icancomebackandglueiton
theceilingforyouthenifyou’dlike.”
Davidnodded,buthewasalreadyintentonthepuzzle,carefullylayingpiecesonthetable.Myfather
puthishandonhisshoulderandsaid,“I’llseeyouWednesdaythen,okay?”
Henodded.
“Willyousaygood-byetoJulianna?
“Baaawye,”hesaid,buthedidn’tlookupfromhisboxofpieces.
“Seeyoulater,UncleDavid.”Itriedtosoundcheerful,butIdidntfeelthatway.
Whenwegotbackintothetruck,mydadclickedonhisseatbeltandsaid,“So.”
Ijustlookedathimandtriedtosmile.
“AreyouasexhaustedasIam?”hesaid.
Inodded.“Everythingwasfine—exceptfortheicecream.”
Dad chuckled. Except forthe ice cream.” Then heturnedserious. “The trouble is, younever know
what‘theicecreamisgoingtobe.Sometimesitsaflyintheroom.Sometimesitsthefeelofhissocks.
Itshardtopredicteverything.Usuallygettingicecreamissafe.”Heshookhisheadandclosedhiseyes,
thinkingthingsIcouldn’timagine.Finallyheturnedtheignitionandsaid,“Davidlivedwithyourmother
andmeforawhile.Beforeyoukidswereborn.Wethoughtitwouldbebetterforhimtolivewithusthan
tobeinahome,butwewerewrong.”
“Butoverall,everythingwentokaytoday….”
He ground the gearshift into reverse. “David has many, many special needs, both emotional and
physical.YourmomandIcouldn’thandlethemall.Fortunatelyhe’shappyhere.Theyhaveprogramsto
teachhimhowtocareforhimself—howtodressandbatheandbrushhisteeth,howtoactaroundothers
andcommunicate.Theygoonoutings,andhehasajobdoingmailingsforadoctorsoffice….”
“Hedoes?”
“Hegoesthereeverymorningduringtheweektofoldmailingsandfillenvelopes.Greenhavensbeen
sogoodforhim.Hegetsanincredibleamountofindividualizedattention.Hehashisownroom,hisown
friends,hisownlife.”
AfteraminuteIsaid,“Buthe’spartofthefamily,Dad.Anditjustdoesntseemrightthathe’snever
beenoverforavisit.NotevenonChristmasorThanksgiving!
“Hedoesntwantto,sweetheart.OneyearyourmotherandIinsistedhespendThanksgivingwithus,
anditwasthebiggestdisasteryoucanimagine.Hebrokeawindowoutofthecar,hewasthatupset.”
“But…whyhaventwebeenvisitinghim?Iknowyouhave,buttherestofus.Whynot?”
“Well,it’sdraining.Yourmotherfindsitincrediblydepressing,andIunderstandthat.Webothagreed
thatitwasnoplacetotakesmall children.”Heacceleratedontothe highway, silentbehindthe wheel.
Finallyhesaid,“Theyearsjustseemtoslipaway,Julianna.Onedayyouhaveababyinyourarms,and
thenextyourealizeshe’sverynearlyawoman.”Hesmiledatmesadly.“IloveDavid,butheisaburden,
andIguessIwantedtoprotectyoufromthat.ButIrealizenowthatallofthishasaffectedyouandthe
family.”
“ButDad,itsnot—”
“Julianna,whatImtryingtotellyouisImsorry.TherewassomuchIwantedtogiveyou.Allofyou.
IguessIdidntseeuntilrecentlyhowlittleIveactuallyprovided.”
“Thatsnottrue!
“Well,Ithinkyouknowmyheart’sbeenintherightplace,butifyoulineitupobjectively,amanlike,
say,Mr.Loskiaddsuptoamuchbetterhusbandandfatherthanamanlikemedoes.He’saroundmore,he
providesmore,andhe’sprobablyalotmorefun.”
Mydad wasntoneto go fishingfor compliments or signs of appreciation, butstill,Icouldn’t quite
believeheactuallythought that. “Dad,I dontcare how it looks onpaper,I thinkyoure the best dad
ever!AndwhenImarrysomebodysomeday,Isuredon’twanthimtobelikeMr.Loski!Iwanthimtobe
likeyou.”
Helookedatmelikehecouldn’tquitebelievehis ears.“Isthatso,”hesaidwithagrin.“Well,Ill
remindyouofthatasyoursomedayapproaches.”
Thatturnedtherestofthetriparound.Welaughedandjokedandtalkedaboutallkindsofthings,butas
wenearedhome,therewasonethingtheconversationkeptturningbackto.
Pancakes.
Mymother,though,hadotherplans.She’dspentthemorningscrubbingfloorsandnixedthepancakes.
“Ineedsomethingwithmorestayingpower.Likegrilledham-and-cheese.Withonions,”shesaid.“Lots
ofonions!”
“Scrubbingfloors?”mydadsaid.“ItsSunday,Trina.Whywereyouscrubbingfloors?”
“Nervousenergy.”Shelookedatme.“How’ditgo?
“Okay.ImgladIwent.”
Sheglancedatmydadandthenatme.“Well,good,”shesighed,thensaid,Ialsofeltlikescrubbing
becauseIgotacallfromPatsy.”
“Loski?”mydadasked.“Issomethingwrong?”
Mymotherpushedafewwispsofhairbackandsaid,“No….Shecalledtoinviteusoverfordinner
onFriday.”
Weblinkedatheramoment;thenIasked,“Allofus?”
“Yes.”
Icouldseewhatmydadwasthinking:Why?Alltheseyearsoflivingacrossthestreet,andwe’dnever
beeninvitedover.Whynow?
My mom could see it, too. She sighed and said, “Robert, I dont exactly know why, but she was
insistent.Shewaspracticallyintears,sayinghowsorryshewasthatshe’dneverinvitedusbeforeand
howshe’dreallyliketogettoknowusbetter.”
“Whatdidyoutellher?
“Icouldn’tverywellsayno.Shewasbeingsonice,andChethasreallydonealot….”Sheshrugged
andsaid,“Isaidwe’dgo.Itssetforsixo’clockFridaynight.”
“Really?”Iasked.
Sheshruggedagain.“Ithinkitmightbenice.Alittlestrange,butnice.”
“Well,okaythen,”mydadsaid.“IwontscheduleanyovertimeforFriday.Whatabouttheboys?
“There’snogigonthecalendar,andtheyrenotscheduledtowork,butIhaventtalkedtothemaboutit
yet.”
“Areyousuretheywantusalloverthere?”mydadasked.
Mymomnodded.“Sheinsists.”
IcouldtellthewholeideaofdinnerattheLoskiswasmakingmydadprettyuncomfortable,butwe
couldbothseethatsomethingaboutthisinvitationmeantalottomymother.“Allrightthen,”hesaid,and
gottoworkslicingcheeseandonions.
Fortherestoftheafternoon,Isortoflazedaround,readinganddaydreaming.Andatschoolthenext
day, I couldnt seem to concentrate. My thoughts kept turning back to David. I wondered what my
grandparentshadbeenlike,andwhattheydgonethrough,havingasonlikehim.
I daydreamed a lotaboutthe sycamore tree, too,which at first I thought was because I was feeling
melancholy.ButthenIrememberedhowmymotherhadcalledthesycamoreatestimonytoendurance.It
hadsurvivedbeingdamagedasasapling.Ithadgrown.Otherpeoplethoughtitwasugly,butIneverhad.
Maybeitwasallhowyoulookedatit.MaybetherewerethingsIsawasuglythatotherpeoplethought
werebeautiful.
LikeShellyStalls.Aperfectexample!Tometherewasabsolutelynothingtorecommendher,butthe
restoftheworldseemedtothinkshewasthecatsmeow.
Me-ow.
Anyway,Isortofdriftedthroughtheweeklikethat.UntilThursday.Thursdayoursocialstudiesclass
wenttothelibrarytodoresearchforourfamoushistoricalfigurereport.IdchosenSusanB.Anthonyand
herfightfortherighttovote,andIwasinthemiddleoftrackingdownsomebookswhenDarlaTressler
flaggedmefromtheendofastack.
Darlawasinafewofmyclasses,butwewerentreallyfriends,soIlookedbehindmetoseewhoelse
shemightbeflagging.
“Comehere!”shemouthed,franticallywavingmeover.
SoIhurriedover.Shepointedthroughthecolumnofbooksandwhispered,“Listen!
ItwasGarrettsvoice.AndthenBryce’s.Andtheyweretalkingabout…me.Aboutmychickens.And
salmonellapoisoning.AndhowBrycehadbeenthrowingawaymyeggs.Andaboutmefixingupouryard.
Brycewassoundinglikehefeltreallybad,butthensuddenlymybloodrancold.Hewastalkingabout
David!
AndthenGarrettlaughedandsaid,“Aretard?Well,thatexplainsalot,doesntit?Youknow…about
Juli?
For a second, there was silence. And at that moment Iwas sure they must be able to hear myheart
poundinginmychest,butthenBrycelaughedandsaid,“Oh,right.”
Ipositivelycrumbledontothefloor.Andin a flashthevoicesweregone.Darlachecked aroundthe
corner,thensatbesideme,saying,Oh,Jules,I’mso,sosorry.Ithoughthewasabouttoconfessthathe’s
beencrushingonyou.”
“What?Darla,Brycedoesnothaveacrushonme.”
“Where have you been? Havent you noticed the way he’s been looking at you? That boy is lost in
Loveland.”
“Oh,obviously!Youjustheardhim,Darla!
“Yeah,butyesterday,yesterdayIcaughthimstaringatyouandhesaidtherewasabeeinyourhair.A
bee,girl.Isthatthelamestcover-upyou’veeverheardorwhat?”
“Darla,thewaythingshavebeengoing,Iwouldn’tbesurprisediftherewasabeeinmyhair.”
“Oh,youthinkyou’rethatsweet,huh?Justattractbees likehoney?Well,honey,theonlybee you’re
attracting around here is B-r-y-c-e. Cute, yeah. But after what I just heard, Id stomp and grind, girl.
Stompandgrind.”Shegotuptogobutturnedandsaid,“Dontworry.Iwontjabber.”
IjustshookmyheadandforgotaboutDarla.Howwrongcouldapersonbe.
It was what Bryce and Garrett had said that I couldnt forget. How could they be so cruel? And so
stupid?Isthiswhatmyfatherhadgonethroughgrowingup?
ThemoreIthoughtaboutit,theangrierIgot.WhatrightdidBrycehavetomakefunofmyuncle?How
darehe!
Ifeltfireburninmycheeksandacold,hardknottighteninmyheart.AndinaflashIknew—Iwas
through with Bryce Loski. He could keep his brilliant blue eyes. He could keep his two-faced smile
and…andmykiss.That’sright!Hecouldkeepthat,too.Iwasnever,evergoingtotalktohimagain!
IstormedbacktothesectionofbooksonSusanB.Anthony,foundtwothatwouldwork,andthenwent
backtomytable.ButasIwascollectingmythingstocheckoutofthelibrary,Iremembered.Thenextday
weweregoingtotheLoskishousefordinner.
Izippedupmybackpackandthrewitonmyshoulder.Surelyafterwhathadhappened,Ihadtherightto
voteagainstgoing!
DidntI?
Bryce:TheSeriousWillies
RealizingthatmyfatherhadthesamesenseofhumorasGarrettgavemetheseriouswillies.Ihadthe
hardesttimejustlookingatmydad,letalonespeakingtohim.Butataboutfiveo’clockFridayafternoonI
agreedwithhimaboutone thing—weshould’ve barbecued. A barbecue ismore, youknow,low-key.
Instead,mymomwasflyingaroundthekitchen,slicinganddicingandbarkingordersatDadandmelike
thepresidentwascomingtodinner.
Wesweptthefloor,putanextraleafinthetable,broughtinfivemorechairs,andsetthetable.Wesetit
allwrong,ofcourse,butallmymotherhadtodowasshufflethingsaroundtomakeitright.Itlookedthe
sametome,butwhatdoIknow?
Sheputoutcandlesticksandsaid,“Rick,canyouloadthedishesandrunthem?I’dlikeachancetoget
cleanedup.Afterthatyoucanchange.AndBryce?Whatareyouwearing?
“Mom,it’stheBakers.Areyoutryingtomakethemfeeltotallyworthless?
“TrinaandIagreedonadress-up,so—”
“Butwhy?
Mydadputahandonmyshoulderandsaid,“Sowecanallfeelequallyuncomfortable,son.”
Women.Ilookedatherandsaid,“DoesthatmeanIhavetowearatie?”
“No,butsomesortofbutton-downinsteadofaT-shirtwouldbenice.”
Iwentdowntomyroomandrippedthroughmyclosetlookingforsomethingwithbuttons.Therewere
lots of buttons, all right. Lots of geeky buttons. I thought about boycotting my mother’s dress-code
requirements,butinsteadIstartedputtingonshirts.
TwentyminuteslaterIstillwasntdressed.AndIwasextremelytickedoffaboutitbecausewhatdidit
matter?WhydidIcarewhatIlookedlikeatthisstupiddinner?Iwasactinglikeagirl.
ThenthroughagapinmycurtainsIsawthemcoming.Outtheirfrontdoor,downtheirwalkway,across
thestreet.Itwaslikeaweirddream.Theyseemedtobefloatingtowardourhouse.Allfiveofthem.
Ipulledashirtoffmybed,punchedmyarmsin,andbuttonedup.
TwosecondslaterthedoorbellrangandMomcalled,“Canyougetthat,Bryce?”
Luckily,Granddadbeatmetoit.Hegreetedthemallliketheywerelong-lostfamilyandevenseemed
toknowwhichonewasMattandwhichonewasMike.Onewaswearingapurpleshirtandtheotherwas
wearingagreenone,soitshouldnthavebeenthathardtorememberwhichwaswhich,buttheycamein
andpinchedmycheeksandsaid,Hey,babybrother!Howsitgoin?”andIgotsomadImixedthemup
again.
Mymotherzoomedinfromthekitchen,saying,Comein,comein.Itssoniceyouallcouldmakeit.”
Shecalled,Lyn-et-ta!Rick!We’vegotcom-pa-ny!”butthenstoppedshortwhenshesawJuliandMrs.
Baker.“Well,whatsthis?”sheasked.“Homemadepies?”
Mrs.Bakersaid,“Blackberrycheesecakeandpecan.”
“Theylookwonderful!Absolutelywonderful!”MymotherwasactingsohyperIcouldntbelieveit.
ShetookJulispie,thenwhooshedapathtothekitchenwithMrs.Baker.
Lynettaappearedfromaroundthecorner,whichmadeMattandMikegrinandsay,“Hey,Lyn.Lookin
good.”
Blackskirt,blacknails,blackeyes—foranocturnalrodent,yeah,Isupposeshewaslookinggood.
They disappeared down to Lynettas room, and when I turned around, my granddad was taking Mr.
Bakerintothefrontroom,whichleftmeintheentryhallwithJuli.Alone.
She wasnt looking at me. She seemed to be looking at everything but me. And I felt like an idiot,
standingthereinmygeekybutton-downshirtwithpinchedcheeksandnothingtosay.AndIgotsonervous
abouthavingnothingtosaythatmyheartstartedgoingwackoonme,hammeringlikeitdoesrightbeforea
raceoragameorsomething.
Ontopofthat,shelookedmorelikethatstupidpictureinthepaperthanthepicturedid,ifthatmakes
any sense. Not because she was all dressed up — she wasnt. She was wearing some normal-looking
dressandnormal-lookingshoes,andherhairwasthewayitalwaysisexceptmaybealittlemorebrushed
out.Itwasthewayshewaslookingateverythingbutme,withhershouldersbackandherchinoutandher
eyesflashing.
Weprobablyonlystoodthereforfiveseconds,butitfeltlikeayear.FinallyIsaid,“Hi,Juli.”
Hereyesflashedatme,andthat’swhenitsankin—shewasmad.Shewhispered,“Iheardyouand
Garrettmakingfunofmyuncleinthelibrary,andIdon’twanttospeaktoyou!Youunderstandme?Not
now,notever!
Mymindwasracing.Wherehadshebeen?Ihadntseenheranywherenearmeinthelibrary!Andhad
sheheardit?Orhadshehearditfromsomebodyelse.
Itriedtotellheritwasntme,thatitwasGarrett,allGarrett.Butsheshutmedownandmadetracksfor
thefrontroomtobewithherdad.
SoImstandingthere,wishingI’dpunchedGarrettoutinthelibrarysoJuliwouldntstickmeinthe
sameclassassomeonewhomakesretardjokes,whenmydadshowsupandclapsmeontheshoulder.
“So.Howstheparty,son?”
Speakofthedevil.Iwantedtowhackhishandoffmyshoulder.
Heleansoutsohecanseeintothefrontroomandsays,“Hey,thedadcleansupprettygood,doesnt
he?”
Ishrugawayfromhim.“Mr.BakersnameisRobert,Dad.”
“Yeah,youknow,Iknewthat.”Herubshishandstogetherandsays,“IguessIoughttogoinandsay
hello.Coming?”
“Nah.Momprobablyneedsmyhelp.”
Ididn’trunofftothekitchen,though.IstoodthereandwatchedMr.Bakershakemyfathershand.And
astheystoodtherepumpingandsmiling,thisweirdfeelingstartedcomingovermeagain.NotaboutJuli
—aboutmyfather.StandingnexttoMr.Baker,helookedsmall.Physicallysmall.Andcomparedtothe
cutofMr.Baker’sjaw,mydad’sfacelookedkindofweaselly.
Thisisnotthewayyouwanttofeelaboutyourfather.WhenIwaslittle,I’dalwaysthoughtthatmydad
was right about everything and that there wasnt a man on earth he couldnt take. But standing there
lookingin,IrealizedthatMr.Bakercouldsquashhimlikeabug.
Worse,though,wasthewayhewasacting.WatchingmydadchumitupwithJulisdad—itwaslike
seeinghimlie.ToMr.Baker,toJuli,tomygrandfather—toeverybody.Whywashebeingsuchaworm?
Whycouldnthejustactnormal?Youknow,civil?Whydidhehavetoputonsuchaphonyshow?This
wentwaybeyondkeepingthepeacewithmymother.Thiswasdisgusting.
And people said I was the spitting image of my father. How often had I heard that one? Id never
thoughtaboutitmuch,butnowitwasturningmystomach.
Momjingledthedinnerbellandcalled,Horsd’oeuvresareready!andthensawmestillstandingin
thehallway.“Bryce,where’dyoursisterandtheboysgo?”
Ishrugged.“Downtoherroom,Ithink.”
“Gotellthem,wouldyou?Andthencomehavesomehorsd’oeuvres.”
“Sure,”Isaid.Anythingtogetridofthetasteinmymouth.
Lynetta’s door was closed. And normally I would have knocked and called, Mom wants you, or,
Dinner!orsomething,butinthatsplitsecondbeforemyknuckleshitwood,myhandbecamepossessedby
EvilBabyBrother.Iturnedtheknobandwalkedrightin.
DoesLynettafreakoutorthrowstuffatmeandscreamformetogetout?No.Sheignoresme.Matt-
and-Mike give me a nod, and Lynetta sees me, butshes got her hands over some headphones and her
wholebodysbobbingupanddownasshelistenstoaportableCDplayer.
Matt-or-Mikewhispers,“Itsaboutover.We’llberightthere,”likeofcourseIwastheretosayitwas
timetoeat.WhatelsewouldIbedoingthere?
Somethingaboutthatmademefeel,Idontknow,leftout.Iwasntevenapersontothoseguys.Iwas
justbabybrother.
Nothingnewthere,butnowitreallybuggedme.LikeallofasuddenIdidntfitinanywhere.Notat
school, not at home … and every time I turned around, another person I’d known forever felt like a
strangertome.EvenIfeltlikeastrangertome.
Standingaroundeatinglittleroundcrackerssmearedwithwhippedcheeseandfisheggsdidntdomuch
formymoodeither.Mymotherwasactinglikeanentireswarmofbusybees.Shewaseverywhere.Inthe
kitchen,outofthekitchen.Servingdrinks,handingoutnapkins.Explainingthefood,butnoteatingathing.
Lynetta didnt buy Moms explanation on the hors d’oeuvres — she wound up dissecting hers,
categorizingthepartsintogross,disgusting,andrevolting.
HangingnearherdidntstoptheBakerboysfromshovingcrackersinwhole,though.Man,Iwasjust
waitingforthemtowrapthemselvesaroundatablelegandflex.
Juli,herdad,andmygrandfatherwereofftothesidetalkingnonstopaboutsomething,andmydadwas
overwithMrs.BakerlookingaboutasstupidasIfelt,standingbymyselftalkingtonoone.
Mymomfluttersovertomeandsays,“Youdoingokay,honey?”
“Yeah,”Itellher,butsheforcesmeovertowhereGranddadisanyway.“Goon,goon,”shewhispers.
“Dinnerwillbereadyinaminute.”
SoIstandthereandthegroupofthemopensup,butit’smorelikeareflexthananything.Noonesaysa
wordtome.Theyjustkeeprightontalkingaboutperpetualmotion.
Perpetualmotion.
My friend, Ididnt even know what perpetual motion was. They were talking closed systems, open
systems,resistance,energysource,magnetism…itwaslikejoiningadiscussioninadifferentlanguage.
And Juli, Juli was saying stuff like, “Well, what if you put the magnets back to back — reversed the
polarity?”likeshereallyunderstoodwhattheyweretalkingabout.Thenmygranddadandherdadwould
explainwhyherideawouldn’twork,butallthatdidwasmakeJuliaskanotherquestion.
Iwascompletelylost.AndeventhoughIwaspretendingtofollowalongwithwhattheyweresaying,
whatIwasreallydoingwastryingnottostareatJuli.
Whenmymomcalledusfordinner,IdidmybesttopullJuliasideandapologizetoher,butshegave
methecoldshoulder,andwhocouldblameher,really?
Isatdownacrossfromher,feelingprettylow.WhyhadntIsaidsomethingtoGarrettinthelibrary?I
didnthavetopunchhim.WhyhadntIjusttoldhimhewasoutofline?
AfterMomservedeveryonetheirfood,Dadseemedtodecidethatheoughttobetheonedirectingthe
conversation.“So,MikeandMatt,”hesays,“you’reseniorsthisyear.”
“Amen!”theysaytogether.
“Amen?Asinyou’regladhighschool’sover?
“Absolutely.”
Myfatherstartstwirlinghisfork.“Whysthat?”
MattandMikelookateachother,thenbackatmydad.“Theregurgitationgetstoyouafterawhile.”
“Isntthatfunny,” hesays, lookingaround thetable. High school wasprobablythebesttimeofmy
life.”
Matt-or-Mikesays,“Seriously?Dude,itstotallylame!”Mrs.Bakershootshimalook,butthatdoesnt
stophim.“Well,itis,Mom.Itsthatwholerobotronattitudeofeducation.Confine,confute,conform
I’vehadtotallyenoughofthatscene.”
MydadeyesmymomwithalittleI-told-you-sogrin,thensaystoMattandMike,SoItakeitcollege
isoutofthequestion?”
God,whatwaswithhim?InaflashIwasclutchingmyforkandknife,readytodukeitoutforacouple
ofguyswhopinchedmycheeksandcalledmebabybrother.
Itookadeepbreathandtriedtorelax.Triedtodivedowntocalmerwater.Thiswasntmyfight.
Besides, Matt and Mike seemed cool with it. “Oh, no,” they said. “College is a total possibility.”
“Yeah,wegotacceptedacoupleofplaces,butwe’regoingtogivethemusicthingashotfirst.”
“Oh,themusicthing,”myfathersays.
MattandMikelookateachother,thenshrugandgetbacktoeating.ButLynettaglaresathimandsays,
“Yoursarcasmisnotappreciated,Dad.”
“Lyn,Lyn,”saysMatt-or-Mike.“Itscool.Everyone’slikethataboutit.Itsashow-me-don’t-tell-me
thing.”
“Thatsagreatidea,”Lynettasays,jumpingoutofherseatanddashingdownthehall.
Mom freezes, not sure what to do about Lynetta, but then Mrs. Baker says, “Dinner is absolutely
delicious,Patsy.”
“Thanks,Trina.Its…itsnicetohaveallofyouover.”
TheresaboutthreesecondsofquietandthenLynettacomesinandjabsattheCDplayerbuttonsuntil
thedrawerslidesbackin.
“Lyn,no!Notagoodidea,”saysMatt-or-Mike.“Yeah,Lyn.Itsnotexactlydinnermusic.”
“Tough,”saysLynetta,andcranksthevolume.
Boom, whack! Boom-boom, whack! The candles practically shake in their holders; then guitars rip
throughtheairandaboutblowthemout.MattandMikelookupatthespeakers,thengrinateachother
andcallovertomydad,“Surroundsound—awesomesetup,Mr.Loski!
Alltheadultsweredyingtojumpupandturnthethingdown,butLynettastoodguardandjustglowered
atthem.Andwhenthesongsover,LynettapullsouttheCD,punchesofftheplayer,andthensmiles
actuallysmiles—atMattandMikeandsays,Thatistheraddestsong.Iwanttohearitagainandagain
andagain.”
Matt-or-Mikesaystomydad,“Youprobablydontlikeit,butitswhatwedo.”
“Youboyswrotethatsong?”
“Uh-huh.”
HemotionsLynettatopasstheCDover,saying,“Justtheonesong?”
Matt-or-Mikelaughsandsays,“Dude,we’vegotathousandsongs,buttheresonlythreeonthedemo.”
DadholdsuptheCD.“Thisisthedemo?
“Yeah.”
Helooksatitaminuteandsays,“SoifyourePissPoor,howdoyouaffordtopressCDs?”
“Dad!Lynettasnapsathim.
“Itsokay,Lyn.Justajoke,right,Mr.Loski?
My dad laughs a little and says, “Right,” but then adds, “Although I am a little curious. This is
obviously not a home-done demo, and I happen to know studio time’s cost-prohibitive for most
bands….”
MattandMikeinterrupthimwithaslamminghardhighfive.AndwhileI’mgettinguptightaboutmy
dadaskingthemquestionsaboutmoney,ofallthings,mymomsfumblingalloverherself,tryingtosweep
awaymydad’sbigpawprints.“WhenRickandImet,hewasplayinginaband….”
Poached salmon was suddenly swimming down the wrong hatch. And while Im choking, Lynetta’s
buggingoutherraccooneyes,gasping,“You?Playedinaband?Whatdidyouplay,clarinet?”
“No,honey,”mymomsays,tryingtoholditalltogether.“Yourfatherplayedguitar.”
“Guitar?”
“Cool!”Matt-or-Mikesays.“Rock?Country?Jazz?”
“Country,”mydadsays.“Whichisnothingtoscoffat,boys.”
“Dude!Weknow.Totalrespect,man.”
“Andwhenourbandlookedintogettingademomade,itwasastronomicallyexpensive.Thatwasina
bigcity,wheretherewasalittlecompetition.Gettingademomadearoundhere?Ididntevenknowthere
wasafacility.”
MattandMikearestillgrinning.“There’snot.”
“Sowheredyougo?Andhowdyouaffordit?”Mymotherwhackshimunderthetableagain,sohe
says,“Imjustcurious,Patsy!
MattandMikeleanin.“Wediditourselves.”
“This right here? You did this yourselves? Thats impossible.” He’s looking almost mad about it.
“How’dyougetthegear?”
Mymomkickshimagain,butDadturnsonherandsays,“Stopit,wouldyou?I’mjustcurious!
Matt-or-Mike says, “Its cool, Mrs. Loski.” He smiles at my dad and says, “We kept cruising the
Internetandthetradeslookingforadeal.Everyone’sblowingouttheiroldanaloggearfordigitalbecause
that’sthemoveeveryoneelsehasmade.Digital,ifyouwanttoknowouropinion,isweak.Youlosetoo
muchofthewaveform.There’snotenoughfattoit,andobviouslywelikeitbeefy.”
Mygranddadputsupafingerandsays,“ButaCDsdigital,so…”
“Exactly,butthatisthelastandonlystepwe’llcompromiseon.Itsjustanecessityofbeingpartofthe
industry.EveryonewantsCDs.Butthemultitrackandthemixdowntotwo-trackisanalog.Andwecould
afford it, Mr. Loski, because we got used gear and we’ve been saving up our pennies since we were
twelveyearsold.”Hegrinsandsays,Youstillplay?Wecould,youknow,laydownsomeofyourtunes
ifyouwant.”
Mydadlooksdown,andforasecondIcouldn’ttellifhewasgoingtogetmadorcry.Thenhesortof
snortsandsays,“Thanks,butthat’snotmeanymore.”
Whichwasprobablytheonlyhonestthingmydadsaidallnight.Afterthathewasquiet.He’dtryto
plasterupasmilenowandthen,butman,underneathithewasbroody.AndIwasfeelingkindofbadfor
him.Washethinkingaboutthegoodolddaysplayinginaband?Itriedpicturinghimincowboybootsand
acowboyhat,withaguitarstrappedacrosshisshoulder,playingsomeoldWillieNelsonsong.
Hewasright—itjustwasnthim.
Butthefactthatiteverhadbeenmademefeelevenmorelikeastrangerinastrangeland.Then,when
thenightwasoverandtheBakerswerepilingoutthefrontdoor,somethingelsestrangehappened.Juli
touchedmyarm.Andforthefirsttimethatnightshewaslookingatme.Itwasthatlook,too,channeled
directly andsolely atme.Shesays,“Im sorryIwasso angry whenwe firstcamein.Everyonehada
goodtime,andIthinkyourmomsreallyniceforinvitingus.”
Hervoicewasquiet.Almostawhisper.Ijuststoodtherelikeamoron,staringather.
“Bryce?”shesays,touchingmyarmagain.“Didyouhearme?I’msorry.”
Imanagedanod,butmyarmwastingling,andmyheartwaspounding,andIfeltmyselfpullingtoward
her.
Thenshewasgone.Outthedoorandintothenight,partofachorusofhappygood-byes.Itriedtocatch
mybreath.Whatwasthat?Whatwaswrongwithme?
Mymotherclosedthedoorandsaid,There.NowwhatdidItellyou?Thatisonedelightfulfamily!
ThoseboysarenothinglikeIexpected.Lynetta,whydidn’tyoutellmetheywereso…socharming!
“Theyredrugdealersiswhattheyare.”
Everyoneturnedtomyfatheranddroppedtheirjaws.
“What?”mymothersaid.
“Thereisnootherwaythoseboyscouldaffordtobuyrecordinggearlikethat.”HeglaredatLynetta.
“Isntthatso?”
Lynetta’seyeslookedliketheyweregoingtopoprightoutofherhead.
“Rick,please!”mymothersaid.“Youcantjustmakeaccusationslikethat!
“Itstheonlythingthatmakessense,Patsy.Believeme,Iknowhowmusiciansare.Thereisnoother
explanationforthis.”
Lynettashouted,Ihappentoknowforafactthattheydontuseordeal.Wheredoyougetoffsaying
somethinglikethat?Youaresuchatwo-faced,condescending,narrow-mindedjackass!
Therewasasplitsecondofsilence,andthenheslappedher,smack,rightacrossthecheek.
That put my mother in his face like I’d never seen and sent my sister screaming insults over her
shoulderassherandowntoherroom.
Myheartwaspounding.LynettawasrightandIalmost,almostgotinhisface,too,andtoldhimso.But
thenmygranddadpulledmeasideandwebothretreatedtoourownlittlecornersofthehouse.
Pacingaroundmyroom,IhadtheurgetogotalktoLynetta.Totellherthatshewasright,thatDadwas
wayoutofline.ButIcouldhearherthroughthewalls,cryingandscreamingwhilemymomtriedtocalm
herdown.Thenshe stormedout ofthehouseto who-knows-where,and mymom took upwithmy dad
again.
SoIstayedput.Andeventhoughtheearthquitquakingaroundeleveno’clock,thereweretremorsout
there.Icouldfeelthem.
AsIlayinmybedstaringoutthewindowatthesky,Ithoughtabouthowmydadhadalwayslooked
downontheBakers.Howhe’dputdowntheirhouseandtheiryardandtheircarsandwhattheydidfora
living.Howhe’dcalledthemtrashandmadefunofMr.Bakerspaintings.
AndnowIwasseeingthattherewassomethingreallycoolaboutthatfamily.Allofthem.Theywere
just…real.
Andwhowerewe?Therewassomethingspinningwickedlyoutofcontrolinsidethishouse.Itwaslike
seeinginsidetheBakersworldhadopenedupwindowsintoourown,andtheviewwasnotaprettyone.
Wherehadallthisstuffcomefrom?
AndwhyhadntIeverseenitbefore.
Juli:TheDinner
By the time I got home, I knew it would be selfish of me to boycott the Loskis dinner party. My
mother had already spent a lot of time humming over pie recipes and going through her closet for
“somethingsuitabletowear.”She’devenboughtanewshirtforDadandhadscrutinizedwhattheboys
intendedtowear.Obviouslyshewaslookingforwardtothedinner—notthatIreallyunderstoodthat,but
Ididn’twanttoruineverythingbytellingheraboutmynewfoundhatredofBryce.
And Dadfelt badenoughaboutDavid already.The last thinghe needed wasto hearaboutcrackpot
commentsmadebyimmatureeighthgraders.
SothatnightIwentthroughthemotionsofbakingpieswithmymotherandconvincedmyselfthatIwas
doingtherightthing.Onedinnercouldntchangeanyone’slife.Ijusthadtogetthroughit.
FridayatschoolIavoidedtheblue-eyedbratthebestIcould,butthatnightasIgotdressed,Ifound
myselfstaringatthepaintingmyfatherhadgivenmeandbecamefuriousalloveragain.Brycehadnever
beenafriendtome,ever!Hehadntmadeastandforthetree,he’dthrownawaymyeggs,andhe’dmade
funofmeatmyuncle’sexpense….WhywasIplayingalonglikewewerejollyfriendsandneighbors?
Whenmymothercalledthatitwastimetogo,Iwentoutinthehallwitheveryintentionoftellingher
thatIwouldnot,couldnotgototheLoskisfordinner,butshelookedsolovelyandhappythatIcouldn’t.
Ijustcouldnt.Itookadeepbreath,wrappedupapie,andshuffledacrossthestreetbehindmybrothers
andparents.
Chetansweredthedoor.MaybeIshould’vebeenmadathim,too,fortellingtheLoskisaboutmyuncle,
butIwasnt.Ihadntaskedhimnottotell,andhecertainlywasn’ttheonemakingfunofDavid.
Mrs.LoskicameupbehindChet,whiskedusin,andflutteredabout.Andeventhoughshehadquitea
bitofmakeupon,Iwassurprisedtoseethebluenessofbagsbeneathhereyes.ThenMrs.Loskiandmy
motherwentoffwiththepies,mybrothersvanisheddownthehallwithLynetta,andmyfatherfollowed
Chetintothelivingroom.
Andwasntthatjustdandy?ThatleftmealoneinthefoyerwithBryce.
HesaidhitomeandIlostit.Ispunonhim,snapping,“Dontyouspeaktome!Ioverheardyouand
Garrettinthelibrary,andIdontwanttotalktoyounoworever!
Istartedtowalkintothelivingroom,buthestoppedme.“Juli!Juli,wait!”hewhispered.“Imnotthe
badguyhere!ThatwasGarrett.ThatwasallGarrett!”
Iglaredathim.“IknowwhatIheard.”
“No!Noyoudont!I…Iwasfeelingbadabout,youknow,theeggsandwhatIdsaidaboutyouryard.
Ididntknowanythingaboutyouruncleorwhatkindofsituationyourfamilywasin,okay?Ijustwanted
totalktosomeoneaboutit.”
Oureyeslockedforaminute,andforthefirsttimethe bluenessofhis didntfreezeupmybrain. “I
heardyoulaugh.Hemadeajokeaboutmebeingaretard,andyoulaughed.”
“Juli,youdontunderstand.Iwantedtopunchhim!Really,Idid!Butwewereinthelibrary….”
“Soinsteadyoulaughed.”
Heshruggedandlookedmiserableandsheepish.“Yeah.”
Ilefthim.Justwalkedintothelivingroomandlefthim.Ifhewasmakingitup,hewasquiteanactor.If
hewastellingthetruth,thenChetwasright—hewasacoward.Eitherway,Ididn’twanttobeanywhere
nearhim.
IstoodbesidemyfatherandtriedtofollowhisdiscussionwithChetaboutsomethingtheydbothread
inthepaper.Myfatherwassaying,“Butwhathesproposingwouldrequireaperpetual-motionmachine,
soit’snotpossible.”
Chetreplied,“Maybeinthecontextofwhatscientistsknownow,butdoyouruleitoutcompletely?”
At that moment I was feeling absolutely no scientific curiosity. But in a desperate attempt to block
BryceLoskifrommymind,Iasked,“Whatsaperpetual-motionmachine?
MyfatherandChetglancedateachother,chuckled,thenshrugged,givingmethesensethatthey’djust
agreedtolet me intoasecretclub. Myfather explained,“Its amachinethatrunswithoutany external
powersource.”
“Noelectricity,nofuel,nowaterpropulsion,nothing.”Chetglancedovermyshoulderandaskedrather
absently,“Youthinkthatsadoablething?”
Whathaddistractedhim?WasBrycestillinthefoyer?Whydidnthejustgoaway?
I forced myself to focus on the conversation. Do I think that’s a doable thing? Well, I dont really
know. All machines use energy, right? Even real efficient ones. And that energy has to come from
somewhere….”
“Whatifthemachinegeneratedititself?”Chetasked,butoneeyewasstillonthefoyer.
“Howcoulditdothat?”
Neither of them answered me. Instead, my father stuck outhis hand and said, Good evening, Rick.
Niceofyoutohaveusover.”
Mr. Loski pumped my dad’s hand and joined our group, making little comments about the weather.
Whenthattopicwasalldriedup,hesaid,“Andwow,thatyardofyourshasreallycomealong.ItoldChet
herethatweoughttohirehimout.Hereallyknowshispickets,doesnthe?”
Hewasjoking.Ithink.Butmyfatherdidnttakeitthatway,andneitherdidChet.Iwasafraidofwhat
might happen next, but then Mrs. Loski tinkled a little dinner bell and called, “Hors d’oeuvres,
everybody!”
Thehorsd’oeuvresweredelicious.Butwhenmyfatherwhisperedthattheteeny-tinyblackberrieson
topofthecrackerswerentberriesatall,butcaviar,Istoppedmidbite.Fisheggs?Repulsive!
ThenmyfatherpointedoutthatIatechickeneggsallthetime,sowhygetsqueamishoverfisheggs?He
hadapoint.Ihesitantlyfinishedthecracker,andbeforelongIwashavinganother.
Brycewasstandingallbyhimselfacrosstheroom,andeverytimeIhappenedtolookhisway,hewas
staringatme.
Finally I completely turned my back on him and said to my father, “So who’s trying to invent a
perpetual-motionmachine,anyway?”
Myfatherlaughed.“Madscientistsallovertheworld.”
“Really?”
“Yes.Forhundredsofyears.”
“Well,whatdotheydo?Whatsonelooklike?”
ItwasntlongbeforeChetwasinonthediscussion.AndjustasIwasfinallystartingtocatchonto
magnetism,gyroscopicparticles,andzero-pointenergy,Ifeltsomeonestandingbehindme.
ItwasBryce.
Icouldfeelmycheeksflushwithanger.Couldn’theseeIwantedtobeleftalone?Itookastepaway
fromhim,butwhatthatdidwasopenupthegroupandallowhimtomoveforward.Nowhewasstanding
inourcirclelisteningtoourdiscussion!
Well!Surelyhewasnotinterestedinperpetualmotion.Ibarelywasmyself!So,Ireasoned,continuing
ourdiscussionwoulddrivehimaway.Idovebackin,andwhentheconversationstartedtopeterout,I
cameupwithmyownideasonperpetual-motionmachines.Iwaslikeaperpetual-ideamachine,spinning
ridiculoussuggestionsrightoutoftheair.
And still he wouldn’t leave. He didnt say anything, he just stood there, listening. Then when Mrs.
Loskiannouncedthatdinnerwasready,Bryceheldmyarmandwhispered,Juli,I’msorry.I’venever
beensosorryaboutanythinginmywholelife.Youreright,Iwasajerk,andI’msorry.”
Iyankedmyarmfreefromhisgraspandsaid,“Itseemstomeyou’vebeensorryaboutawholelotof
thingslately!andlefthimtherewithhisapologyhangingwoundedintheair.
ItdidnttakemelongtorealizethatIdmadeamistake.Ishouldhavelethimsayhewassorryandthen
simplycontinuedtoignorehim.ButIdsnappedathiminthemiddleofanapology,whichsomehowmade
metherudeone.
Isneakedapeekathimacrossthe table,buthewas watchinghisdad,who was askingmybrothers
aboutgraduatingandtheirplansforcollege.
Ihad,ofcourse,seenMr.Loskimanytimes,butusuallyfromadistance.Still,itseemedimpossible
thatI’dnevernoticedhiseyesbefore.Theywereblue.Brilliantblue.AndalthoughMr.Loski’swereset
fartherbackandwerehiddensomewhatbyhiseyebrowsandcheekbones,therewasnomistakingwhere
Brycehadgottenhiseyes.Hishairwasblack,too,likeBryce’s,andhisteethwerewhiteandstraight.
EventhoughChethadcalledBrycethespittingimageofhisfather,I’dneverreallythoughtofthemas
lookingalike.ButnowIsawthattheydidlookalike,thoughwherehisdadseemedkindofsmug,Bryce
seemed…well,rightnowheseemedangry.
Thenfromtheothersideofthetable,Iheard,“Yoursarcasmisnotappreciated,Dad.”
Mrs.Loskigaveasmallgasp,andeveryonelookedatLynetta.“Well,itsnot,”shesaid.
Inalltheyearswe’velivedacrossthestreetfromtheLoskis,I’vesaidabouttenwordstoLynetta,and
shessaidfewerback.Tomeshe’sscary.Soitwasn’tasurprisetoseeherglaringatherfather,butitwas
uncomfortable.Mrs.Loskiwaskeepingasmileperchedonherface,butshewasblinkingalot,glancing
nervouslyaroundthetable.Ilookedfromonepersontothenext,too,wonderingifdinnerattheLoskis’
wasalwaysthistense.
SuddenlyLynettagotupanddasheddownthehall,butshewasbackinaflashwithaCDinherhand.
Andwhensheputitintheplayer,Irecognizedoneofmybrothers’songsblaringthroughthespeakers.
We’dheardthissong,“CandleIce,”pouringoutofmybrothersbedroomatleastamilliontimes,so
wewereusedtoit.ButIlookedoveratmymom,worriedthatshemightbeembarrassedbythedistorting
guitarsandthegrittylyrics.Thiswasdefinitelynotcaviarmusic.
Sheseemedalittleuncertain,butinahappyway.Shewassharingsecretsmileswithmyfather,and
honestly,Ithinksheevengiggled.Mydadwaslookingamused,althoughhewasveryreservedaboutit,
andittookmeuntiltheendofthesongtorealizethathewasproud.Proudthatthisnoisecamefromhis
boys.
Thatsurprisedme.Dadhasneverbeenrealbigonanyrenditionofmybrothersband,althoughhes
never really criticized it either. But then Mr. Loski started grilling Matt and Mike about how they’d
affordedtorecordtheirownmusic,andtheyexplainedaboutworkingandsavingandshoppingforgood
dealsonequipment,andthat’swhenIrealizedwhymyfatherwasproud.
Mybrotherswerefeelingprettygood,too,youcouldtell.Anditwasnowonder,withthewayLynetta
wascarryingonabouthowgreat“CandleIce”was.Shewaspositivelygushing,whichseemedveryodd,
comingfromLynetta.
As Ilooked around, it struck me that we were having dinner with a group of strangers. We’d lived
acrossthestreetforyears,butIdidntknowthesepeopleatall.Lynettadidknowhowtosmile.Mr.Loski
wascleanandsmoothontheoutside,buttherewasadistinctwhiffofsomethingrottenburiedjustbeneath
thesurface.Andtheever-efficientMrs.Loskiseemedflustered,almosthyper.Wasithavingusoverthat
wasmakinghernervous?
ThentherewasBryce—themostdisturbingofallbecauseIhadtoadmitthatIdidntreallyknowhim,
either.AndbasedonwhatIddiscoveredlately,Ididntcaretoknowanymore.Lookingacrossthetable
at him, all I got was a strange, detached, neutral feeling. Nofireworks, no leftover anger or resurging
flutters.
Nothing.
Afterwe’dhaddessertanditwastimetogo,IwentuptoBryceandtoldhimIwassorryforhaving
beensofiercewhenwe’dfirstcomein.Ishould’veletyouapologize,andreally,itwasveryniceof
yourfamilytohaveusover.Iknowitwasalotofworkand,well,Ithinkmymomhadareallygoodtime
andthatswhatmatterstome.”Wewerelookingrightateachother,butitwasalmostasthoughhedidnt
hearme.“Bryce?IsaidI’msorry.”
Henodded,andthenourfamilieswerewavinggood-byeandsayinggoodnight.
Iwalkedbehindmymother,whowasholdinghandswithmyfather,andbesidemybrothers,whowere
carryinghomewhatwasleftofourpies.Weallwoundupinthekitchen,andMattpouredhimselfaglass
ofmilkandsaidtoMike,“ThatMr.Loskiwassniffingusoutprettygoodtonight,wasnthe?”
“Nokidding.Maybehethinkswe’rehotforhisdaughter.”
“Notme,dude!You?
Mikegothimselfaglassofmilk,too.“That’sSkylersgig.NowayIdgothere.”Hegrinned.“Butshe
wasreallycooltonight.Didshecomedownonpapabearorwhat?”
My dad took a paper plate out of the cupboard and cut a slice of pie. “You boys showed a lot of
restrainttonight.Idon’tknowifIcould’vekeptmycoolthatway.”
“Aw, he’s just, you know … entrenched,” Matt said. Gotta adjust to the perspective anddeal from
there.”Thenheadded,“NotthatI’dwanthimasmydad….”
Mikepracticallysprayedhismilk.“Dude!Can youimagine?” Then Matt gavemydad aslap onthe
backandsaid,“Noway.Imstickingwithmymainmanhere.”Mymomgrinnedfromacrossthekitchen
andsaid,“Metoo.”
I’dneverseenmy fathercry.Andhedidn’texactlysittherebawling,butthere weredefinitely tears
wellingupinhiseyes.Heblinkedthembackthebesthecouldandsaid,“Dontyouboyswantsomepie
togowiththatmilk?”
“Dude,”saidMattashestraddledachair.“Iwasjustthinkingthat.”
“Yeah,”Mikeadded.“I’mstarved.”
“Getmeaplate,too!”IcalledasMikedugthroughthecupboard.
“Butwejustate,mymothercried.
“Comeon,Trina,havesomepie.Itsdelicious.”
Iwenttobedthatnightfeelingveryfullandveryhappy.AndasIlaythereinthedark,Iwonderedat
howmuchemotioncangointoanygivenday,andthoughthowniceitwastofeelthiswayattheendofit.
AndasInestledinanddriftedofftosleep,myheartfeltwonderfully…free.
ThenextmorningIstillfeltgood.Iwentoutsideandsprinkledtheyard,enjoyingthesplishandpatter
ofwateronsoil,wonderingwhen,when,thatfirstlittlebladeofgrasswouldspringupintothesunshine.
ThenIwentoutback,cleanedthecoop,rakedtheyard,anddugupsomeofthebiggerweedsgrowing
alongtheedges.
Mrs.StuebyleanedoverthesidefenceasIwasshovelingmyrakingsandweedsintoatrashcanand
said,“Howsitgoing,Julianna?Makingneatforarooster?”
“Arooster?”
“Why,certainly.Thosehensneedsomemotivationtostartlayingmore!
Itwastrue.BonnieandClydetteandtheotherswereonlylayingabouthalftheeggsthattheyusedto,
but a rooster? “I dont think the neighborhood would appreciate my getting a rooster, Mrs. Stueby.
Besides,we’dgetchicksandIdontthinkwecanhandleanymorepoultrybackhere.”
“Nonsense.Youvespoiledthesebirds,givingthemthewholeyard.Theycansharethespace.Easily!
Howelseareyougoingtomaintainyourbusiness?Soonthosebirdswon’tbelayinganythinga-tall!
“Theywon’t?”
“Well,verylittle.”
Ishookmyhead,thensaid,“Theywerejustmychicksthatgrewintochickensandstartedlayingeggs.I
neverreallythoughtofitasabusiness.”
“Well, myrunnin a tab has probably contributed to that,and Im sorry. I’ll be sure and get you the
wholesumthisweek,butconsiderbuyingyourselfaroosterwithsomeofit.I’vegotafrienddownon
NewcombStreetwhoispositivelygreenovermydeviledeggs.Igavehermyrecipe,butshesayshers
justdonttastethesame.”Shewinkedatme.“I’mcertainshe’dpayhandsomelyforasupplyofmysecret
ingredient if it became available.” She turned to go, then said, “By-the-by, Julianna, you have done a
mightyfinejobonthatfrontyard.Mostimpressive!
“Thanks,Mrs.Stueby,”Icalledassheslidopenherpatiodoor.“Thanksverymuch.”
IfinishedscoopingupthepilesI’dmadeandthoughtaboutwhatMrs.Stuebyhadsaid.ShouldIreally
getarooster?I’dheardthathavingonearoundmadechickenslaymore,whethertheywereincontactwith
eachotherornot.Icouldevenbreedmychickensandgetawholenewsetoflayers.ButdidIreallywant
togothroughallofthatagain?
Notreally.Ididntwanttobetheneighborhoodrancher.Ifmygirlsquitlayingaltogether,thatwould
bejustfinewithme.
Iputawaytherakeandshovel,cluckedakissoneachofthehens,andwentinside.Itfeltgoodtotake
chargeofmyowndestiny!Ifeltstrongandrightandcertain.
LittledidIknowhowafewdaysbackatschoolwouldchangeallofthat.
Bryce:Flipped
AfterthedinnerJuliwasnicetomeatschool.WhichIhated.Madwasbetterthannice.Gagawas
betterthan…nice.ItwaslikeIwasastrangertoher,andman,itbuggedme.Buggedmebig-time.
Thentheauctionhappened,andIfoundmyselfwithevenbiggerproblems.
TheauctionisthisboguswaytheBoosterClubraisesmoneyfortheschool.Theyinsistitsanhonorto
bechosen,butbull-stinkin’-loneytothat!Bottomlineis,twentyguysgetshanghaied.Theyhavetocome
upwithfancypicniclunchesandthenbehumiliatedinfrontofthewholeschoolwhilegirlsbidtohave
lunchwiththem.
Guesswhomadethisyearstoptwenty.
You’dthinkmotherswouldsay,Hey,there’snowayyou’regoingtoauctionmysonofftothehighest
bidder,butno.Instead,they’reallflatteredthattheirsonsbeenelectedabasketboy.
Yes, my friend, thats what they call you. Over the P.A. you hear stuff like, “There will be an
organizationalmeetingofthenewlyelectedbasketboysintheMPRatlunchtoday.Allbasketboysmust
attend.”
Prettysoonyouvecompletelylostyourname.YouandnineteenothersapsareknownsimplyasBasket
Boy.
Mymom, of course, was into it, coming up with all sorts of stuffto put inmy basket so Id get the
highestbid.ItriedtoexplainthatIdidntwanttobeinMayfieldJuniorHighsBasketBoyHallofFame,
andthatreally,whatwasinthebasketdidntmatter.Itwasntlikegirlswerebiddingonthebasket.When
yougotrightdowntoit,thiswasameatmarket.
“You eat lunch on campus and that’s the end of it. It is hardly a meat market, Bryce. Its an honor!
Besides,maybesomeonereallynicewillbidonyouandyou’llmakeanewfriend!
Motherscanbeinsuchdenial.
AndthenGarrettbendsmyearwiththenewsthatShellyStallsisbreakingupwithMitchMichaelson,
and thatshe, Miranda Humes, and Jenny Atkinson are startingsome biddingwar over me. “Dude!” he
tellsme.Thetwohottestchicksoncampus.AndIsweartogod,man,ShellysdumpedMitchbecauseof
you.IhearditdirectfromShagreer,anddude,ShagreertheEarknowsall.”Hethrowsmethisnastygrin
andsays,“Me,I’mrootingforJumboJenny.Itwouldserveyourightforbeingsuchabasketboy.”
Itoldhimtoshutup,buthewasright.Withthewaymyluckwasrunning,Idprobablygetstuckwith
Jumbo Jenny. I could just see it — six feet of beefy babe downing both halves of my lunch and then
coming after me. Jenny’s the only girl or guy on campus who can dunk a basketball. The whole gym
shakeswhenshelands.Andsinceshe’sgotno,youknow…femaleparabolas,thegirlcouldshaveher
headandmakeitintheNBA.Seriously.Noonewouldeversuspect.
Herparentsgiveheranythingshewants,too.Rumorhasittheyconvertedtheirgarageintoafull-on
basketballcourtjustforher.
Whichmeantthatinthegameofthebasketboys,Iwasasgoodasslam-dunked.
Unless,unlessShellyorMirandawashighbidder.ButhowcouldImakesurethathappened?Mybrain
wentintooverdrive,constructingaplan,andintheendIdecidedthattherewasonlyonesensiblecourse
ofaction.
Kissuptobothofthem.
Halfwaythroughmyfirstdayofdoingthis,Ifeltlikeaskunk.NotthatIwasbeinggrossaboutitor
anything.Iwasjust,youknow,friendly.AndeventhoughShellyandMirandadidntseemtosmellathing,
Garrettdid.
“Dude!”hesaystomeonThursday.“Icanseeyourgame,man.”
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“Dontdenyit,dude.You’reworkingthemboth.”Hecomesupandwhispersinmyear,“Basketboyor
not,I’minawe.”
“Shutup,man.”
“Seriously!TheEarsaystheywere,like,clawingeachotherinP.E.today.”
Ihadtoknow.“Whatabout…JumboJenny?”
Heshrugs.“Haventheard.Butwe’llfindouttomorrow,won’twe,dude?”
MymotherdroppedmeoffatschoolonFridaywithmystupidoversizedpicnicbasket,andsinceall
basketboyshavetodressup,Iwaschokinginatieandfeelingcompletelydweeblikeinslacksanddress
shoes.
Kidswhistledandshouted,“Oooh,baby!asIheadedupthewalkway,andthenJumboJennypassed
me, taking the front steps three at a time. “Wow, Bryce,” she said over her shoulder. “You
look…delicious.”
Oh,man!Ipracticallyrantotheclassroomwhereallthebasketboysweresupposedtomeet,andthe
minuteIwalkedin,Ifeltbetter.Iwassurroundedbyotherdweebs,whoseemedgenuinelyhappytosee
me.“Hey,Loski;“Yo,dude”;“Doesn’tthissuckeggs?”;“Whydidn’tyoutakethebus,man?”
Miserylovescompany.
Then Mrs. McClure, the president of the Boosters, the lady wholassoed us all, hoofs it throughthe
door.“Oh,my!”shesays.“Youalllooksohandsome!
Notonewordaboutourbaskets.Notonelittlesneakpeekinside.No,forallshecared,thosepuppies
wereempty.
Meatmarket?
Youbetterbelieveit!
“Dontbesonervous,boys,”Mrs.McClurewassaying.“Youregoingtohaveawonderfulday!”She
pullsoutalistofnamesandstartsorderingusintoline.Wegetnumbers;ourbasketsgetnumbers;wefill
outthree-by-fivecardstoherinsanespecifications;andbythetimeshe’sgotusallorganizedandissure
we know whattodo and what nottodo, we’ve missed all of firstand mostof secondperiod. Okay,
gentlemen,” she says. “Leave your baskets where they are and go to … where are we now? Still in
second?”Shelooksattheclock.“Right.Second.”
“Whataboutpasses?”somesensiblebasketboyasked.
“Yourteachershavealist.Butiftheysayanything,tellthemIsayyournecktiesareyourpasses.Ill
meetyoubackherewheneveryone’sdismissedfortheauction.Gotit?Dontdawdle!
We grumbled, Yeah, yeah, and headed to class. And I can tell you this, not one of the twenty of us
listenedtoawordanyofourteacherssaidthatmorning.Howcanyoulistenwithanoosearoundyour
neck,pinchedtoes,andaroomfullofidiotsthinkingitsopenseasononbasketboys?Whoeverstarted
thisstupidtraditionoughttobecrammedintoabasketandtosseddownstreamwithoutaservingspoon.
Iwasbasketboynumbernine.WhichmeantIhadtostandthereonthestageinthegymwhilenearly
halftheguysgotauctionedoff.Minimumbid,tenbucks.Andifnobodybid,thesecretwasateacherwas
assignedtobidonyou.
Yes,myfriend,thepossibilitiesformortificationwereinfinite.
Some of the moms showed up and stood off to the side with their camcorders and zoom lenses,
fidgetingandwavingandbasicallyactingasdweebyastheirsonslooked.Ishouldknow.Mymomtook
anhouroffworktobeoneofthem.
TimPellowasbasketboynumberfive,andhismomactuallybidonhim.Nokidding.Shejumpedup
anddown,yelling,Twenty!Illgiveyoutwenty!”Man,that’llbrandyouforlife.LuckyforTim,Kelly
Trottcameupwithtwenty-twofiftyandsavedhissorryselffromeverlastingtortureasamamasboy
oneofthefewfatesworsethanbasketboy.
CalebHugheswasupnext,andhefetchedtheBoostersallofelevenfifty.ThencameChadOrmonde,
whoIswearwasreadytopeehispantswhenMrs.McCluremadehimstepforward.Shereadhiscard,
pinchedhischeeks,andrakedinfifteeneven.
At this point what stood between me and the auction block was Jon Trulock. And I wasn’t exactly
interested in what he had in his basket or what his hobbies and favorite sports were. I was too busy
scanningthecrowdforJumboJenny,sweatingmypitsoff.
Mrs.McClurecallsintothemicrophone,DoIhearten?”andittookmeaminutetotuneintothefact
thatnoonesaid“Ten!”Noonesaidanything.“Comeon,outthere!Thelunchisdelicious.Strawberry
tarts,um…”AndMrs.McCluregoesbacktoreadingoffthethree-by-fiveaboutJonTrulock’slunch.
Talk about embarrassing! This was worse than being a mama’s boy. Worse than lunch with Jumbo
Jenny!Howdhegetvotedbasketboyifnobodywantedtohavelunchwithhim?
ThenofftotherightofthecrowdIhear,“Ten!
“Ten?DidIhearten?”Mrs.McCluresayswithaflutterysmile.
“Twelve!”cameadifferentvoicefromthesamearea.
Thefirstvoicecamebackwith“Fifteen!”andallofasuddenIrecognizedwhosevoiceitwas.
JuliBaker’s.
Isearchedthroughthecrowdandfoundher,handwavingintheair,thatlookalloverherface.
“Sixteen!cametheothervoice.
Therewasapause,butthenJulishootsbackwith“Eighteen!
“Eighteen!”criesMrs.McClure,wholookslikeshesabouttocollapsefromrelief.Shepauses,then
says,“Eighteengoingonce…Eighteengoingtwice…Sold!foreighteendollars.”
ToJuli?ShewasthelastpersonIexpectedtobidonalunch.Anybody’slunch.
Jonstaggeredbackintoline.AndIknewIwassupposedtostepforward,butIcouldntbudge.Ifelt
likeI’dbeensluggedinthestomach.DidJulilikeJon?Isthatwhyshe’dbeenso…so…nicelately?
Becauseshedidn’tcareaboutmeanymore?Allmylifeshe’dbeenthere,waitingtobeavoided,andnow
itwaslikeIdidntevenexist.
“Stepup,Bryce.Comeon,don’tbeshy!
MikeAbenidoshovedmealittleandsaid,“Yourturnfortorture.Getupthere!
Itfeltlikewalkingtheplank.IjuststoodupfrontsweatingbulletswhiletheBoosterqueendissected
mylunchandstartedrunningthroughmylistoffavorites.Beforeshe’sevenfinished,though,ShellyStalls
callsout,“Ten!”
“Whatsthat?”saysMrs.McClure.
“Illgiveyouten!
“Oh,”shelaughsassheputsdownhernotes.“Well,IguessIhearten!
“Twenty!”callsMirandaHumesfromdeadcenter.
“Twenty-five!”ItsShellyagain.
I’m looking around for Jumbo Jenny, praying she’s gone home sick or something, while Shelly and
Mirandagoupbyfives.“Thirty!
“Thirty-five!
“Forty!
ThenIspother.ShesabouttwentyfeetbehindMiranda,cleaningherfingernailswithherteeth.
“Forty-five!
“Fifty!
“Fifty-two.”
“Fifty-two?” interrupts the Booster queen. “Well, this has been lively! And from the looks of this
basket,wellworththe—”
“Sixty!
“Sixty-two!”callsShelly.
MirandascramblesaroundtryingtobegmoneyoffherfriendsasMrs.McClurecalls,“Goingonce!
ButthenJennystandsupandbellows,“Ahundred!”
Ahundred.There’sacollectivegasp,andthentheentirestudentbodyturnsandstaresatJenny.
“Well!”laughsMrs.McClure.“Wehaveahundred!Thatiscertainlyanall-timerecord.Andsucha
generousdonationtotheBoosters!
Iwantedtoboosther,rightoffthestage.Iwasdoomed.ThiswassomethingIwouldneverlivedown.
Thenthere’sthisbigcommotion,andallofasuddenShellyandMirandaarestandingrightnexttoeach
othercalling,“One-twenty-two…fifty!We’llgiveyouone-twenty-twofifty!
“One hundred twenty-two dollars and fifty cents?” I thought the Booster queen was gonna polka.
“Yourepoolingyourresourcestohavelunchwiththisfineyoungman?”
“Yeah!”theycall,thenlookoverJennysway.EverybodylooksoverJennysway.
Jennyjustshrugsandgoesbacktocleaninganail.
“Well, then! One hundred twenty-two dollars and fifty cents going once … One hundred twenty-two
dollarsandfiftycentsgoingtwice…Soldtothosetwobeautifulyoungladiesforanall-timerecordof
onehundredtwenty-twodollarsandfiftycents!
“Dude!”MikewhisperedwhenIgotbackinline.“ShellyandMiranda?HowamIsupposedtofollow
that?”
Hedidntevencomeclose.HegotTerryNorrisforsixteenbucks,andthemostanyoneelsegotwas
forty.Andwhenitwasover,alltheguystoldme,“Dude!Youare,like,theman….Score!”butIdidn’t
feelliketheman.Ifeltwipedout.
My mom came up and gave me a hug and a kiss like I’d won a gold medal or something, then
whispered,“Mylittlebaby,”andclickity-clickedoffinherhighheels,backtowork.
SoI was wipedout,embarrassed,and thenpracticallydraggedtothemulti-purposeroom byShelly
andMiranda.
TheBoostershadoutfittedtheMPRwithlittletablesfortwo,alldecoratedinshadesofpinkandblue
andyellow,withballoonsandstreamerseverywhere.IfeltliketheEasterbunnywithmystupidbasket
boylunchclutchedinbothhandswhileMirandaheldontoonearmandShellylatchedontotheother.
They gave us the biggesttable and whisked in an extra chair, and when everyone was seated, Mrs.
McCluresaid,“Boysandgirls?IdontthinkIneedtoremindyouthatyouareexcusedfromclassforthe
restoftheday.Enjoyyourlunches,enjoyyourfriendships….Takeyourtime,relax,andthanksagainfor
supportingyourBoosters.Wewouldntbeuswithoutyou!
SothereIwas,withthetwohottestgirlsoncampus,havinglunch.Iwas“theman,”theenvyofevery
otherguyinschool.
Buddy,Iwasmiserable.
Imean,thesetwogirlsmaybegorgeous,butwhatwascomingoutoftheirmouthsaboutJumboJenny
was embarrassingly ugly. Miranda works herselfup to, “What was she thinking? Like you would ever
wanttogooutwithher,right,Bryce?”
Well,yeah.Thatwasright.Butitseemedreallywrongtosayso.“Look,canwetalkaboutsomething
else?”
“Sure.Likewhat?”
“Idontcare.Anythingelse.Youguysgoinganywherethissummer?”
Mirandashootsofffirst.We’retakingacruisetotheMexicanRiviera.We’resupposedtostopinall
thesecoolportsandshopandstuff.”Shefluttershereyelidsatmeandsays,“Icouldbringyousomething
back….”
Shellyscootsherchairinalittleandsays,“We’regoinguptothelake.Mydadhasacabinthere,and
youcangetthemostoutrageoustan.DoyourememberwhatIlookedlikeatthebeginningofthisyear?I
was,like,black.I’mgoingtodothatagain,onlythistimeI’vegotascheduleallworkedoutsothatit’s
eveneverywhere.”Shegigglesandsays,“Donttellmymom,okay?Shewouldhaveaka-nip!
Andthis,myfriend,ishowtheTanWarsbegan.MirandatoldShellythatshedidn’tevennoticehertan
atthebeginningoftheyearandthattheplacetoreallyroastisonacruiseship.ShellytoldMirandathat
anyonewithfrecklescantreallyget tan andsinceMirandahadfreckleseverywhere,the cruise was a
guaranteedwasteofmoney.Ichokeddownmythirdofthelunchandlookedaroundtheroom,tryingtolet
itallflowpastme.
ThenIsawJuli.Shewastwotablesawayfromme,facingmydirection.Onlyshewasn’tlookingatme.
ShewaslookingatJon,hereyesallsparklyandlaughing.
Myheartlurched.Whatwasshelaughingabout?Whatweretheytalkingabout?Howcouldshesitthere
andlookso…beautiful?
Ifeltmyselfspinningoutofcontrol.Itwasweird.LikeIcouldntevensteermyownbody.Idalways
thoughtJonwasprettycool,butrightthenIwantedtogooverandthrowhimacrosstheroom.
Shellygrabbedmyarmandsaid,“Bryce,areyouallright?Youlook…Idontknow…possessedor
something.”
“What?Oh.”Itriedtakingadeepbreath.“Whatareyoustaringat?”Mirandaasked.Theybothlooked
overtheirshoulders,thenshruggedandwentbacktopickingattheirfood.
But I couldnt stop myself from looking again. And in the back of my mind, I could hear my
grandfathersvoicesaying,Thechoicesyoumakenowwillaffectyoufortherestofyourlife.Dothe
rightthing….”
Dotherightthing….
Dotherightthing….
Mirandashookmeoutofit,asking,“Bryce?Areyouinthere?Iasked,whatareyougoingtodothis
summer?”
“Idontknow,”Isnapped.
“Hey,maybeyoucanspendsometimeupatthelakewithus!”Shellysaid.
Itwastorture.Iwantedtoscream,Shutup!Leavemealone!Iwantedtorunoutofthebuildingand
keeponrunninguntilIdidntfeellikethisanymore.
“Lunchisreallydelicious,Bryce.”Miranda’svoicewasfloatingaround.Bryce?Didyouhearme?
Thisisreallyaspectacularlunch.”
Asimplelittlethankyouwould’vesufficed.ButcouldIcomeupwithasimplelittlethankyou?No.I
turnedonherandsaid,“Canwenottalkaboutfoodortansorhair?”
Shegavemeanuppitylittlesmile.“Well,whatdoyouwanttotalkabout,then?”
Iblinkedather,thenatShelly.“Howaboutperpetualmotion?Knowanythingaboutthat?”
“Perpetualwhat?”
Mirandastartslaughing.
“What?”Iaskher.“Whatssofunny?”
Shelooksatmeaminute,thensnickers.“IdidntrealizeI’dbidonanintellectual.”
“Hey…Implentysmart!
“Yeah?”Mirandagiggles.“Canyouspellintellectual?
“Heistoosmart,Miranda.”
“Oh,stopkissingup,Shelly.Youretryingtotellmeyoureafterhisbrain?God,itsmakingmesickto
watchyougrovel.”
“Grovel?Excuseme?”
“Youheardme.He’snotgoingtotakeyoutothegraddanceanyway,sojustgiveitup,whydontyou?
Andwiththat,itwasallover.OneofmymomsflakyappletartsgotgroundintoMiranda’shair;the
extra ranch dressing got smeared into Shellys. And before Mrs. McClure could say, In the name of
Boosters!Whatareyoudoing?theywererollingonthefloor,scratchingeachother’smakeupoff.
ItookthisopportunitytoleavemytableandheadforJulis.Igrabbedherbythehandandsaid,“Ive
gottotalktoyou.”
Shesortofhalf-standsandsays,“What?Whatsgoingon,Bryce?Whyaretheyfighting?”
“Excuseusaminute,wouldyou,Jon?”Ipullherawayfromthetable,butthere’snoplacetogo.And
I’vegotherhandinmine,andIjustcantthink.SoIstoprightthereinthemiddleoftheroomandlookat
her.Atthatface.Iwanttotouchhercheekandseewhatitfeelslike.Iwanttotouchherhair,itlooksso
incrediblysoft.
“Bryce,”shewhispers.“Whatswrong?
IcanbarelybreatheasIaskher,“Doyoulikehim?”
“DoI…youmeanJon?”
“Yes!”
“Well,sure.He’sniceand—”
“No,doyoulikehim?”MyheartwaspoundingthroughmychestasItookherotherhandandwaited.
“Well,no.Imean,notlikethat….”
No!Shesaidno!Ididn’tcare whereIwas,Ididntcarewho saw.Iwanted, justhad to kiss her. I
leanedin,closedmyeyes,andthen…
Shebrokeawayfromme.
Suddenly,theroomwasdeadquiet.MirandaandShellystaredatmethroughtheirslimyhair,everyone
waslookingatmelikeI’dblownmyentirecircuitboard,andIjuststoodthere,tryingtoreelinmylips
andpullmyselfbacktogether.
Mrs.McCluretookmebytheshoulders,guidedmetomychair,andtoldme,Yousithere,andyou
stayhere!”ThenshehauledMirandaandShellyoutside,scoldingthemandtellingthemtofindseparate
bathroomsandcleanupwhilesherandownthejanitortomopuptheirmess.
Isattherebymyselfanddidntevencareaboutcoveringup.Ijustwantedtobewithher.Totalktoher.
Toholdherhandagain.
Tokissher.
Beforeschoolwasout,Itriedtotalktoheragain,buteverytimeIgotclose,she’ddodgeme.Andthen
whenthefinalbellrang,shedisappeared.Ilookedeverywhereforher,butshewasjustgone.
Garrett,however,wasnt.Hetrackedmedownandsaid,“Dude!Tellmeitisnttrue!
Ididn’tsayaword.Ijustheadedforthebikeracks,stillhopingtofindJuli.
“Oh,man…itistrue!
“Leavemealone,Garrett.”
“Yougethookedupwiththetwofinestchicksoncampus,thenbailonthemforJuli?”
“Youdontunderstand.”
“Youreright,dude.Icompletelydontunderstand.Didyouseriouslytrytokissher?Icouldntbelieve
thatpart.We’re talkingJuliannaBaker?Your nightmareneighbor? Theknow-it-allnuisance? Thecoop
poopbabe?
Istoppedcoldandshovedhim.Justlaidintohimwithbothhandsandshoved.“Thatwasalongtime
ago,man.Knockitoff!
Garrettputbothhandsup,butmovedinatme.“Dude,youhaveflipped,youknowthat?”
“Justbackoff,wouldyou?
He blocked my path. “I cant believe this! Two hours ago you were the man. The man! The whole
schoolwasontheirkneesbeforeyou!Nowlookatyou.Youre,like,asocialhazard.”Hesnortedand
said,“And,dude,thetruthis,ifyouregonnabelikethis,Idontneedtheassociation.”
Igotrightinhisfaceandsaid,“Good!’Causeyouknowwhat?NeitherdoI!
Ishovedhimasideandran.
I wound up walking home. In my pinchy shoes, with dirty dishes clanking inside my sticky picnic
hamper,thisbasketboyhikedallthewayhome.Andtherewasabattleraginginsideme.TheoldBryce
wantedtogobackintime,wantedtohangwithGarrettandshootthebreeze,wantedtohateJuliBaker
again.
Wantedtobetheman.
ButinmyheartIknewtheoldBrycewastoast.Therewasnogoingback.NottoGarrettorShellyor
Mirandaoranyoftheotherpeoplewhowouldn’tunderstand.Juliwasdifferent,butafteralltheseyears
thatdidntbothermeanymore.
Ilikedit.
Ilikedher.
AndeverytimeIsawher,sheseemedmorebeautiful.Shejustseemedtoglow.I’mnottalkinglikea
hundred-wattbulb;shejusthadthiswarmthtoher.Maybeitcamefromclimbingthattree.Maybeitcame
from singingto chickens. Maybe itcamefrom whacking at two-by-foursand dreaming aboutperpetual
motion.Idontknow.AllIknowisthatcomparedtoher,ShellyandMirandaseemedso…ordinary.
I’dneverfeltlikethisbefore.Ever.Andjustadmittingittomyselfinsteadofhidingfromitmademe
feelstrong.Happy.Itookoffmyshoesandsocksandstuffedtheminthebasket.Mytiewhippedovermy
shoulderasIranhomebarefoot,andIrealizedthatGarrettwasrightaboutonething—Ihadflipped.
Completely.
Itruckeddownourstreetandspottedherbikelyingonitssideonthedriveway.Shewashome!
IrangthebelluntilIthoughtitwouldbreak.
Noanswer.
Ipoundedonherdoor.
Noanswer.
Iwenthomeandcalledonthephone,andfinally,finallyhermotheranswers.“Bryce?No,I’msorry.
Shedoesntwanttotalk.”Thenshewhispers,“Giveheralittletime,wontyou?”
Igaveheranhour.Almost.ThenIwentacrossthestreet.“Please,Mrs.Baker.I’vegottoseeher!
“She’slockedherselfinherroom,dear.Whydontyoutryphoningtomorrow.”
Tomorrow?Icouldntwaituntiltomorrow!SoIwentaroundthesideoftheirhouse,climbedthefence,
andknockedonherwindow.“Juli!Juli,please.I’vegottoseeyou.”
Hercurtainsdidntopen,butthebackdoordid,andoutcameMrs.Bakertoshoomeaway.
WhenIgothome,mygranddadwaswaitingatthefrontdoor.“Bryce,whatisgoingon?Youvebeen
running back andforthtotheBakers’, climbingovertheirfence….You’re acting liketheworld’s on
fire!
Iblurted,“Icantbelievethis!Ijustcantbelievethis!Shewonttalktome!
Heledmeintothefrontroom,saying,“Whowonttalktoyou?
“Juli!”
Hehesitated.“Isshe…madatyou?”
“Idontknow!”
“Doesshehavereasontobemadatyou?
“No!Yes!Imean,Idon’tknow!
“Well,whathappened?”
“Itriedtokissher!Infrontofthiswholeroomofpeople,whileIwassupposedtobehavingthatstupid
basketboylunchwithShellyandMiranda,Itriedtokissher!
Slowlyasmilespreadacrosshisface.“Youdid?
“Iwas,like,possessed.Icouldn’tstopmyself!Butshepulledawayand…”Ilookedoutthewindow
attheBakershouse.“Andnowshewonttalktome!
Veryquietlymygrandfathersaid,“Maybeshethinksthisisallalittlesudden?”
“Butitsnot!
“Itsnot?”
“No, I mean … ” I turned to him. “It started with that stupid newspaper article. And I dont
know…I’vebeenweirdedouteversince.Shedoesntlookthesame,shedoesntsoundthesame,she
doesn’tevenseemlikethesamepersontome!”IstaredoutthewindowattheBakers.“She’s…she’s
justdifferent.”
Mygrandfatherstoodbesidemeandlookedacrossthestreet,too.No,Bryce,”hesaidsoftly.“She’s
thesameasshe’salwaysbeen;youretheonewho’schanged.”Heclappedhishandonmyshoulderand
whispered,“And,son,fromhereonout,youllneverbethesameagain.”
Maybemygrandfathershappyaboutallthis,butImmiserable.Icanteat;Ican’twatchTV;Icant
seemtodoanything.
SoIwenttobedearly,butIcantsleep.I’vewatchedherhousefrommywindowforhoursnow.Ive
staredatthesky;I’vecountedsheep.Butman,IcantstopkickingmyselfforwhatanidiotI’vebeenall
theseyears.
AndnowhowamIgoingtomakeherlistentome?I’dscalethatmonstersycamoreifIcould.Rightto
thetop.AndIdyellhernameacrosstherooftopsforthewholeworldtohear.
Andsinceyouknowwhatatree-climbingweenieIam,IthinkitsprettyclearthatImwillingtodo
anythingtogethertotalktome.Man,I’lldiveafterherintoachickencoopfullofpoopifthatswhatit
takes.Illridemybikeallthestinkinwaytoschoolfortherestofeternityifitmeansbeingwithher.
Something.I’vegottocomeupwithsomethingtoshowherthatIvechanged.ToprovetoherthatI
understand.
Butwhat?HowdoIshowherthatImnottheguyshethinksIam?HowdoIeraseeverythingI’vedone
andstartover?
MaybeIcant.Maybeitjustcannotbedone.ButifIvelearnedonethingfromJuliBaker,it’sthatIve
gottoputmywholeheartandsoulintoitandtry.
Whateverhappens,Iknowthatmygrandfathersrightaboutonething.
I’llneverbethesameagain.
Juli:TheBasketBoys
TheMondayaftertheLoskis’dinnerparty,DarlatrackedmedownatschoolandforcedBryceLoski
backintomybrain.“Jules!Whoa,girl,waitup!Howhaveyoubeen?”
“Imfine,Darla,howareyou?
“No,seriously,”shewhispered.“Areyoudoingokay?”Sheshiftedherbackpackandlookedovereach
shoulder.“Igottothinking,youknow,thatwasjustsocoldofBryce.Especiallysinceyou’vegotthatsoft
spotforhim.”
“Whotoldyouthat?”
“LikeIhaventgoteyes?Comeon,girl.Itsagiven.WhichiswhyIgottoworryinaboutyou.Areyou
seriouslyallright?”
“Yes, I am. But thanks for thinking about me.” I eyed her and said, And Darla? Its not a given
anymore.”
Shelaughed.“Howlongsthisdietgonnalast?”
“Itsnotadiet.I’vejust,uh,lostmytasteforhim.”
Shelookedatmeskeptically.“Uh-huh.”
“Well,Ihave.Butthanksfor,youknow,caring.”
AllthroughfirstperiodIwasstillfeelingstrongandrightandcertain,butthenMrs.Simmonsendedthe
lessonafullfifteenminutesearlyandsaid,“Clearyourdesksofeverythingbutapenorpencil.”
“What?”everyonecried,andbelieveme—Iwasrightalongwiththem.Iwasnotpreparedforaquiz!
“Everything!”shesaid.“Comeon,yourewastingvaluabletime.”
The room filled with grumbles and the sound of shuffling binders, and when we’d all pretty much
compliedwithherrequest,shepickedastackofbrightyellowpapersoffherdesk,fannedthemwithan
evilgrin,andsaid,“Itstimetovoteforbasketboys!
Awaveofreliefsweptacrosstheroom.“Basketboys?Youmeanitsnotaquiz?
Shetickedthroughthestack,countingballotsasshespoke.“ItislikeaquizinthatIdontwantyou
conferringwithoneanother.Itsalsolikeaquizinthatyouhavealimitedamountoftime.”Sheslappeda
setofballotsdownonthefirstdeskofrowone,thenwentontothesecondrow.“Iwillcollectthemfrom
youindividuallywhenthebellrings,andIwillinspecttoseethatyouhavecompliedwiththefollowing
instructions.”Shescootedovertorowthree.“Choosefive,andonlyfive,oftheboysonthelist.Donot
putyournameonit,anddonotdiscussyourchoiceswithyourneighbors.”Shewasontorowfournow,
talkingfasterandfaster.“Whenyou’vemadeyourselections,simplyturnyoursheetover.”Sheslapped
theremainderdownonthelastdesk.“Donot,Irepeat,donotfoldyourballot!
RobbieCastinon raisedhis handandblurtedout,“Whydoguyshavetovote.Itslametohave guys
vote.”
“Robbie…,”Mrs.Simmonswarned.
“Seriously!Whatarewesupposedtodo?Voteforourfriendsorourenemies?”
A lot of people snickered, and Mrs. Simmons scowled, but he had a point. Twenty of the schools
eighth-grade boys would be made to pack a picnic lunch for two and be auctioned off to the highest
bidder.
“Beingabasketboyisanhonor—”Mrs.Simmonsbegan,butshewasinterruptedbyRobbie.
“Itsajoke!”hesaid.“Itsembarrassing!Whowantstobeabasketboy?”
All the guys around him muttered, “Not me,” but Mrs. Simmons cleared her throat and said, “You
shouldwanttobeone!Itsatraditionthathashelpedsupporttheschoolsinceitwasfounded.Therehave
beengenerationaftergenerationofbasketboyshelpingmakethiscampuswhatitistoday.Itswhywe
have flower beds. Its why we have shade trees and a grove of apple trees. Visit another junior high
sometimeandyoullbegintorealizewhatalittleoasisourcampusreallyis.”
“Allthisfromthesweatandbloodofbasketboys,”Robbiegrumbled.
Mrs.Simmonssighed.“Robbie,somedaywhenyourchildrengotoschoolhere,you’llunderstand.For
now,pleasejustvoteforwhoeveryouthinkwillearnahighbid.Andclass,”sheadded,“we’redownto
nineminutes.”
The room fell quiet.And as I read down the list ofover one hundred and fifty eighth-grade boys, I
realizedthattome,therehadonlyeverbeenoneboy.Tome,therehadonlybeenBryce.
Ididnt let myself getsentimental. I had liked him for all the wrong reasons, and I certainly wasn’t
goingtovoteforhimnow.ButIdidntknowwhoelsetovotefor.IlookedatMrs.Simmons,whowas
eagle-eyeingtheclassbetweenglancesattheclock.WhatifIdidntchooseanybody?WhatifIjustturned
itinblank?
She’dgivemedetention,thatswhat.Sowithtwominuteslefttogo,IputdotsnexttotheboysIknew
whoweren’tjerksorclowns,butwerejustnice.WhenIwasthrough,therewerealloftennameswith
dots,andofthoseIcircledfive:RyanNoll,VinceOlson,AdrianIglesias,IanLai,andJonTrulock.They
wouldntmakebasketboy,butthenIwouldntbebidding,soitdidntreallymatter.AtthebellIhanded
overmyballotandforgotallabouttheauction.
Untillunchtimethenextday,thatis.Darlacutmeoffonmywaytothelibraryanddraggedmeoverto
hertableinstead.“Haveyouseenthelist?”sheasked.
“Whatlist?”
“The list of basket boys!” She shoved a scrawled copy of twenty names in front of me and looked
around.“Yourmaindishisonit!
Fivefromthetop,thereitwas—BryceLoski.
Ishouldhaveexpectedit,butstill,thisawfulsurgeofpossessivenessshotthroughme.Whohadvoted
forhim?Outofonehundredfiftynameshemusthavegottenalotofvotes!SuddenlyIwaspicturinga
swarmofgirlswavingstacksofcashintheBoosterladiesfacesastheybeggedtohavelunchwithhim.
IthrewthelistbackatDarlaandsaid,He’snotmymaindish!Asamatteroffact,Ididntevenvote
forhim.”
“Oooo,girl!Youarestickintoyourdiet!
“Itsnotadiet,Darla.Im…Imoverhim,okay?”
“Imgladtohearit,’causerumoris,thatbimbetteShellyisalreadystakin’herclaimonhim.”
“Shelly?ShellyStalls?”Icouldfeelmycheeksflush.
“Thatsright.”Darlawavedherlistintheair,calling,“Liz!Macy!Overhere!Ivegotthelist!
Darla’sfriendsfellalloverthemselvesgettingtoher,thenporedoverthepaperlikeitwasatreasure
map.Macycried,“ChadOrmondesonit!Heissocute.Idgotenbucksonhim,easy!
“AndDennysonit,too!”Lizsquealed.“Thatboyis”—sheshiveredandgiggled—“fi-yi-yine!
Macystoplipcurledalittleandshesaid,“JonTrulock?JonTrulock?Howdidhegetonthislist?”
ForamomentIcouldntbelievemyears.IsnatchedthepaperoutofMacyshand.“Areyousure?”
“Rightthere,”shesaid,pointingtohisname.“Whodoyousupposevotedforhim?”
“The quiet girls, I guess,” Darla said. “Me, I’m more interested in Mike Abenido. Have I got any
competition?
Macylaughed,“Ifyourein,I’mout!
“Metoo,”saidLiz.
“Howaboutyou,Jules?”Darlaaskedme.“BringinsparechangeonFriday?
“No!
“Yougettomissthesecondhalfofschool….”
“No!Imnotbidding.Notonanyone!
Shelaughed.“Goodforyou.”
That afternoon I rode home from school brooding about Bryce and the whole basket boy auction. I
couldfeelmyselfbackslidingaboutBryce.ButwhyshouldIcareifShellylikedhim?Ishouldn’tevenbe
thinkingabouthim!
WhenIwasn’tthinkingaboutBryce,IwasworryingaboutpoorJonTrulock.Hewasquiet,andIfelt
sorryforhim,havingtoclutchabasketandbeauctionedoffinfrontofthewholestudentbody.WhathadI
donetohim?
ButasIbouncedupourdrive,basketboysbouncedrightoutofmymind.WasthatgreenIsawpoking
outofthedirt?Yes!Yes,itwas!Idroppedthebikeandgotdownonmyhandsandknees.Theywereso
thin,sosmall,sofarapart!Theybarelymadeadifferenceinthevastnessoftheblackdirt,andyetthere
theywere.Pushingtheirwaythroughtotheafternoonsun.
Iraninthehouse,calling,“Mom!Mom,theresgrass!
“Really?”Sheemergedfromthebathroomwithhercleaningglovesandapail.“Iwaswonderingifit
wasevergoingtospringup.”
“Well,ithas!Come!Comeandsee!”
She wasn’t tooimpressed at first.ButafterI madeher getdown onher hands and knees and really
look,shesmiledandsaid,“Theyresodelicate….”
“Theylookliketheyreyawning,don’tthey?”
Shecockedherheadabitandlookedalittlecloser.“Yawning?”
“Well,morestretching,Iguess.Likethey’resittingupintheirlittlebedofdirtwiththeirarmsstretched
wayhigh,saying,Goodmorning,world!
Shelaughedandsaid,“Yes,theydo!
Igotupanduncoiledthehose.“Ithinktheyneedawakeupshower,don’tyou?”
Mymomagreedandleftmetomysingingandsprinkling.AndIwascompletelylostinthejoyofmy
littlegreenbladesofnewlifewhenIheardtheschoolbusrumbletoastopuponCollierStreet.
Bryce.Hisnameshotthroughmybrain,andwithitcameapanicIdidntseemabletocontrol.BeforeI
couldstopmyself,Idroppedthehoseanddashedinside.
I locked myself in my room and tried to do my homework. Where was my peace? Where was my
resolve?Wherewasmysanity?HadtheyleftmebecauseShellyStallswasafterhim?Wasitjustsome
oldrivalrymakingmefeelthisway?IhadtogetpastBryceandShelly.Theydeservedeachother—let
themhaveeachother!
ButinmyheartIknewthatjustlikethenewgrass,Iwasntstrongenoughyettobewalkedon.And
untilIwas,therewasonlyonesolution:Ihadtostayawayfromhim.Ineededtoropehimoutofmylife.
SoIclosedmyearstothenewsofbasketboysandsteeredclearofBryceatschool.AndwhenIdid
happentorunintohim,IsimplysaidhellolikehewassomeoneIbarelyevenknew.
Itwasworking,too!Iwasgrowingstrongerbytheday.Whocaredaboutauctionsandbasketboys?I
didnt!
FridaymorningIgotupearly,collectedwhatfeweggstherewereinthecoop,wateredthefrontyard,
whichwasbynowdefinitelygreen,atebreakfast,andgotreadyforschool.
ButasIwasrunningabrushthroughmyhair,IcouldnthelpthinkingaboutShellyStalls.Itwasauction
day.She’dprobablybeenupsincefive,makingherhairintosomeimpossiblypouffydo.
Sowhat?Itoldmyself.Sowhat?ButasIwasthrowingonmywindbreaker,Ieyedmymoneytinand
hesitated.Whatif…
No!No-no-no!
Irantothegarage,gotmybike,andpushedoutofthedriveway.AndIwasinthestreetandonmyway
whenMrs.Stuebyflewrightinmypath.“Julianna,”shecalled,wavingherhandthroughtheair.“Here,
dear.Takethis.Imsosorryit’stakenmethislongtogetittoyou.Ikeepmissingyouinthemornings.”
Ididntevenknowhowmuchsheowedme.AtthatmomentIdidntcare.AllIknewwasthetopbillin
herhandwasaten,anditwasstrikingterrorinmyheart.“Mrs.Stueby,please.I…Idontwantthat.You
donthavetopayme.”
“Nonsense,child!OfcourseImgoingtopayyou.Here!”shesaid,andwaveditoutformetotake.
“No,really.I…Idontwantit.”
Shewedgeditinthepocketofmyjeansandsaid,“Whatutternonsense.Nowgo!Gobuyyourselfa
rooster!”thenhurriedbackupherwalkway.
“Mrs.Stueby…Mrs.Stueby?”Icalledafterher.“Idontwantarooster…!”butshewasgone.
AllthewaytoschoolMrs.Stuebysmoneywasburningaholeinmypocketandanotherinmybrain.
Howmuchwasit?
WhenIgottoschool,Iparkedmybike,thenbrokedownandlooked.Ten,fifteen,sixteen,seventeen,
eighteen.Ifoldedthebillstogetherandslidthembackintomypocket.WasitmorethanShellyhad?
AllthroughfirstperiodIwasfuriouswithmyselfforeventhinkingit.AllthroughsecondperiodIkept
myeyesoffofBryce,butoh!Itwassohard!Idneverseenhiminatieandcufflinksbefore!
ThenatbreakIwasatmylockerwhenShellyStallsappearedoutofnowhere.Shegotrightnexttome
andsaid,“Ihearyoureplanningtobidonhim.”
“What?”Itookastepback.“Whotoldyouthat?Iamnot!
“Someonesaidtheysawyouwithawholewadofcashthismorning.Howmuchdoyouhave?
“Its…itsnoneofyourbusiness.AndImnotbidding,okay?I…Idon’tevenlikehimanymore.”
Shelaughed,“Oh,that’llbetheday!
“Itstrue.”Islammedmylockerclosed.“Goaheadandwasteyourmoneyonhim.Idontcare.”
Ilefthertherewithhermouthopen,whichfeltevenbetterthangettingherinaheadlock.
Thatfeelingcarriedmeclearthroughtoeleveno’clock,whentheentirestudentbodyassembledinthe
gymnasium.IwasnotgoingtobidonBryceLoski.Noway!
Thenthebasketboyscameoutonthestage.Brycelookedsoadorableholdingapicnicbasketwithred-
and-white-checkednapkinspeekingoutfromeitherside,andthethoughtofShellyStallsflippingoneof
thosenapkinsintoherlapnearlymadethebillsinmypocketburstintoflames.
Darlacameupbehindmeandwhispered,“Rumorisyou’vegotawadofcash.Isthattrue?”
“What?No!Imean,yes,butI…Imnotbidding.”
“Oooo,girl,lookatyou.Youfeelinallright?”
Iwasnt.Ifeltsicktomystomachandshakyintheknees.“Imfine,”Itoldher.“Fine.”
Shelookedfrommetothestageandbacktome.“Yougotnothintolosebutyourself-respect.”
“Stopit!”Iwhisperedatherfiercely.ItfeltlikeIwashavingapanicattack.Icouldn’tbreathe.Ifelt
light-headedandwobbly—likeIwasntincontrolofmyownbody.
Darlasaid,“Maybeyoushouldsitdown.”
“Imfine,Darla,Imfine.”
Shefrownedatme.“IthinkIllstickaroundtomakesure.”
TheBoosterClubpresident,Mrs.McClure,hadbeenflutteringaroundthebasketboys,fixingtiesand
givingthemlast-minuteinstructions,butnowsuddenlyshewasslamminghergavelonthepodium,calling
intothemicrophone,“Ifyoullallsettledown,we’rereadytobegin.”
I’dneverseensixhundredkidsquietdownsofast.IguessMrs.McClurehadnteither,becauseshe
smiled and said, “Why, thank you. Thank you very much.” Then she said, “And welcome to the fifty-
secondannualBasketBoyAuction!Iknowthatyourteachershavegoneovertheprocedureswithyouin
homeroom, but Ive been asked to remind you of a few things: This is a civilized proceeding. No
whistling,catcalls,orother degradingbehaviorwillbe tolerated.Ifyouwishtoplaceabid, youmust
raiseyourhandhigh.Biddingwithoutraisingyourhandisprohibited,andshouldyoudecidetobeafunny
guy,youwillbecaughtanddetainedorsuspended.Areweallclearonthat?Good.”Shelookedfromone
sideofthegymtotheother.“Teachers,Iseethatyouareinposition.”
Sixhundredheadsturnedslowlyfromsidetoside,lookingattheblockadeofteachersoneithersideof
thegym.
“Man,”Darlawhispered,“theyrenotleavingmuchroomforfun,arethey?”
Mrs.McClurecontinued,“Minimumbidistendollars,andofcourse,theskysthelimit,butwedont
acceptIOUs.”Shepointedtoherright.Winningbiddersshouldgodirectlytothetableatthenorthdoor
whenIdeclarethebaskettobesold.Andasyoureaware,winnersandtheirbasketboyshavetherestof
the school day off and are exempt from tonight’s homework in all classes.” She smiled out at the
blockade.“Teachers,weappreciateyoursupportonthis.
“Allright,then!Sheputonherreadingglassesandlookedatathree-by-fivecard.“Ourfirstbasket
hasbeenbroughtbyJeffreyBisho.”Shelookedoverherglassesathimandsaid,“Comeonup,Jeffrey.
Dontbeshy!”Heinchedforwardasshecontinued.“Jeffreyhasbroughtascrumptiouslunchconsisting
ofchickensaladsandwiches,orientalnoodles,babygrapes,icedtea,andfortunecookies.”Shesmiledat
him over her glasses. “Sounds delicious, and sounds like fun! Which,” she said, looking back at the
crowd,“Jeffreyis!Heenjoysskateboarding,skiing,andswimming,butladies,healsoenjoysadayinthe
park and watchingHumphreyBogart movies.” She turned tohim and grinned. “They are a kick, arent
they?
PoorJefftriedtosmile,butyoucouldtell—hewantedtodie.
“Allright,then,”saidMrs.McClureasshewhippedoffherglasses.“DoIhearten?
Not only did she hear ten, she heard twelve, fifteen, twenty, and twenty-five, too!
“Going…going…gone!”criedMrs.McClure.“Totheyoungladyinthepurpletunic!
“Whoisthat?”IaskedDarla.
“IthinkhernamesTiffany,”shesaid.“She’saseventhgrader.”
“Really?Wow.Iwouldneverhavebidlastyear!AndI…Idontrememberbidsgoingupthathigh,
either.”
Darlaeyedme.“Whichtellsmethatmaybeyouwouldbidthisyear?Howmuchyougot?”
Ilookedather andalmostdissolvedrightonthespot.“Darla,Ididntbringmoneyonpurpose!My
neighbormademetakeitonthewaytoschoolbecausesheowedittomeforeggsand—”
“Foreggs?Oh,likeBrycewastalkingaboutinthelibrary?”
“Exactly,and—”Ilookedatherlookingatmeandstoppedcold.
“Howcanyoueventhinkaboutbiddingonthatboy?”
“Idontwantto!ButI’velikedhim forso long.Darla,I’ve likedhimsinceIwasseven. And even
though I know he’s a coward and a sneak and I should never speak to him again, I’m having trouble
focusingonthat.EspeciallysinceShellyStallsisafterhim.AndnowI’vegotthismoneyburningaholein
mypocket!
“Well,IcanunderstandthebitaboutShellyStalls,butifyouknowthatboysjustabigpieceoffluffy
cheesecakethatyou’regonnaregreteating,Icanhelpyouwithyourdiet.”Sheputoutherhand.“Giveme
themoney.Illholditforyou.”
“No!
“No?”
“Imean…Icanhandlethis.Ivegottohandleit.”
Sheshookherhead.“Oh,girl.Imhurtingforyouhere.”
Ilookedbackatthestage.Theauctionwashappeningsofast!TheydbeatBryceinnotime.Asthe
biddingcontinued,thebattleinmyheadgotlouderandfiercer.WhatwasIgoingtodo?
Thensuddenlythegymfellquiet.Youcouldhaveheardapindrop.AndstandingnexttoMrs.McClure
looking completely mortified was Jon Trulock. Mrs. McClure was scouring the crowd with her eyes,
lookingveryuncomfortable,too.
“Whathappened?”IwhisperedtoDarla.
“Noone’sbidding,”shewhisperedback.
“DoIhearten?”calledMrs.McClure.“Comeon,outthere!Thislunchisdelicious.Strawberrytarts,
roastbeefandMuenstercheesesandwiches…”
“Oh,no!”IwhisperedtoDarla.“Ican’tbelieveIdidthistohim!
“You?Whatdidyoudo?”
“Ivotedforhim!
“Well,youcouldn’thavebeentheonlyone….”
“Butwhyisntanyonebiddingonhim?He’s…he’ssonice.”
Darlanodded.“Exactly.”
ThatswhenIrealizedwhatIhadtodo.MyhandshotintotheairandIcalled,“Ten!
“Ten?”warbledMrs.McClure.“DidIhearten?
IputmyhanduphigherandsaidtoDarla,“Saytwelve.”
“What?”
“Saytwelve,I’lloutbidyou.”
“Noway!
“Darla!Hecantgoforten,c’mon!
“Twelve!”Darlacalled,butherhanddidntgoupveryhigh.
“Fifteen!”Icried.
“Sixteen!calledDarla,andeyedmewithalaugh.
Iwhispered,“Darla!Iveonlygotfifteen.”
Hereyesgotenormous.
Ilaughedandcalled,“Eighteen!”thenheldherarmdownandsaid,“ButthatreallyisallIvegot.”
There was a moment of silence and then, Eighteen going once! Eighteen going twice … Sold! for
eighteendollars.”
Darlalaughedandsaid,“Whoa,girl!Whatarush!
Inodded.“Yes,itwas!
“Well, no dessert for you. Looks like you got cleaned out by something a little
more … uh … nutritious.” She nodded toward the stage. You gonna go up to the table like youre
supposedto?Oryougonnastickaroundandseethecarnage?”
Ialmostdidnthaveachoice.BeforeMrs.McClurecouldsaytwowordsaboutBryceorhisbasket,
Shellycalled,Ten!”Thenfromthemiddleofthegymcame“Twenty!”ItwasMirandaHumes,withher
hand way in the air. They went back and forth, back and forth, higher and higher, until Shelly called,
“Sixty-two!
“Ican’tbelieveit,”IwhisperedtoDarla.“Sixty-twodollars!Cmon,Miranda,comeon.”
“Ithinkshe’sout.Shellysgotit.”
“Sixty-twodollarsgoingonce!”criedMrs.McClure,butbeforeshecouldsay,Goingtwice!avoice
fromthebackofthegymcalled,“Ahundred!
Everyonegaspedandturnedaroundtoseewhohadcalledthebid.Darlawhispered,“ItsJenny.”
“Atkinson?”Iasked.
Darlapointed.“Rightoverthere.”
Shewaseasytospot,standingtallabovetheothersinthenumber-sevenbasketballjerseyshealmost
alwayswore.“Wow,”Iwhispered,“Ihadnoidea.”
“Maybeshe’llslam-dunkhimforyou,”Darlasaidwithagrin.
“Whocares?”Igiggled.“Sheslam-dunkedShelly!
Mrs.McClurewasgushingintothemicrophoneabouttherecord-breakingbidwhenabigcommotion
brokeoutoverbyMiranda.IspottedShellyshair,andmyfirstthoughtwasthattherewasgoingtobea
fight.Butinstead,ShellyandMirandaturnedtofaceMrs.McClureandcalled,“One-twenty-twofifty!
Ichokeddownacry.“What?”
“Theyreteaminup,”Darlawhispered.
“Oh,no-no-no!”IlookedoverJennysway.“Comeon,Jenny!
Darlashookherheadandsaid,“Shesthrough,”andshewas.BrycewenttoShellyandMirandafor
onehundredtwenty-twodollarsandfiftycents.
Itwasalittlestrange,meetingupwithJonandwalkingovertothemulti-purposeroomforlunch.But
hewasjustsonice,andIthinkgratefulthatIdbid,thatbythetimewegotsituatedatourtable,Iwasnt
feelingsoawkwardorsilly.Itwasjustlunch.
Thingswouldhavebeeneasieriftheyhadn’tseatedmeindirectviewofBryceandhislittleharem,but
Ididmybesttoignorethem.Jontoldmeallaboutthisradio-controlledairplanethatheandhisdadwere
building from scratch, and how he’d been working on it for nearly three months, and that over the
weekendtheywerefinallygoingtogettotryitout.Hetoldmeafunnystoryaboutsolderingthewires
wrong and practically starting a fire in their basement, and I asked him about how a radio-controlled
airplaneworksbecauseIdidntreallyunderstandit.
SoIdrelaxedalotandwasactuallyhavingagoodtimeeatinglunchwithJon.AndIwassorelieved
that I hadnt bid on Bryce. What a fool I would have made of myself! Watching Shelly and Miranda
fawning all over him didn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it would. Really, they looked
ridiculous.
Jon asked about my family, so I was telling him about my brothers and their band when a huge
commotionbrokeoutoveratBryce’stable.SuddenlyShellyandMirandawererollingonthefloorlikean
enormousfurball,smearingeachotherwithfood.
Outof nowhere Bryce appeared atour table. Hegrabbed my hand,pulled me a few feet away, and
whispered,“Doyoulikehim?”
Iwasstunned.
Heheldmyotherhandandaskedagain,“Doyoulikehim?”
“YoumeanJon?”
“Yes!”
IcantrememberwhatIsaid.Hewaslookingintomyeyes,holdingmyhandstight,andthenhebegan
pullingmetowardhim.Myheartwasracingandhiseyeswereclosingandhisfacewascomingtoward
mine….Rightthere,infrontofalltheotherbasketboysandtheirdatesandtheadults,hewasgoingto
kissme.
Tokissme.
Ipanicked.I’dbeenwaitingallmylifeforthatkiss,andnow?
Iyankedfreeandranbacktomytable,andwhenIsatdownJonwhispered,“Didhejusttrytokiss
you?”
I turned my chair away from Bryce and whispered, “Can we please talk about something else?
Anythingelse?
Peoplewerewhisperingandlookingmyway,andwhenShellyStallscamebackfromcleaningupin
thewashroom,everyonefellquiet.Herhairlookedawful.Itwassortofoiledtoherscalpandstillhad
littlechunksoffoodinit.Sheglaredatme soharditlookedlikeshewastryingtogetlaserbeamsto
shootfromhereyes.
Acoupleofadults steeredher back toher seat,andtheneveryone started whispering double-speed.
And Bryce didnt even seem to care! He kept trying to come over and talk to me, but either he’d get
interceptedbyateacherorI’ddashawayfromhimbeforehehadachancetosayanything.
Whenthedismissalbellfinallyrang,IsaidaquickgoodbyetoJonandboltedoutthedoor.Icouldn’t
reachmybikefastenough!Iwasthefirstoneoffcampus,andIpedaledhomesoharditfeltasthoughmy
lungswouldburst.
Mrs. Stueby was out front watering her flower bed and she tried to say something to me, but I just
dropped my bike in the driveway and escaped into the house. I certainly didnt want to talk about
roosters!
Mymotherheardmeslammingdoorsandcametocheckonmeinmyroom.“Julianna!What’swrong?”
Iflippedoveronmybedtofaceherandwailed,“Iamsoconfused!Idontknowwhattothinkorfeel
ordo…!”
Shesatdownbesidemeonthebedandstrokedmyhair.“Tellmewhathappened,sweetheart.”
Ihesitated,thenthrewmyhandsupintheair.“Hetriedtokissme!
Mymotherstrugglednottoletitshow,butunderneathhercomposedexpressionwasagrowingsmile.
Sheleanedinalittleandasked,“Whodid?
“Bryce!
Shehesitated.“Butyouvealwayslikedhim….”
Thedoorbellrang.Andrangagain.Mymomstartedtogetup,butIgrabbedherarmandsaid,“Dont
getthat!”Thebellrangagain,andalmostrightafterthattherewasaloudknockingatthedoor.“Mom,
please!Dontgetit.That’sprobablyhim!
“Butsweetheart…”
“Iwasoverhim!Completelyoverhim!
“Sincewhen?
“SincelastFriday.Afterthedinner.Ifhehadvanishedfromthefaceoftheearthafterourdinneratthe
Loskis’,Iwouldn’thavecared!
“Why?DidsomethinghappenatthedinnerthatIdontknowabout?”
Ithrewmyselfbackontomypillowandsaid,“Itstoocomplicated,Mom!I…Ijustcanttalkabout
it.”
“My,”shesaidafteramoment.“Dontyousoundlikeateenager.”
“Imsorry,”Iwhimpered,becauseIknewIwashurtingherfeelings.Isatupandsaid,“Mom,allthose
yearsIlikedhim?Ineverreallyknewhim.AllIknewwasthathehadthemostbeautifuleyesI’dever
seenandthathissmilemeltedmyheartlikethesunmeltsbutter.ButnowIknowthatinsidehe’sacoward
andasneak,soI’vegottogetoverwhathe’slikeontheoutside!
Mymotherleanedbackandcrossedherarms.“Well,”shesaid.“Isntthissomething.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
Shechewedthesideofonecheek,thenmovedovertochewtheother.Atlastshesaid,“Ishouldn’t
reallydiscussit.”
“Whynot?”
“Because…Ijustshouldnt.Besides,Icantelltherearethingsyoudontfeelcomfortablediscussing
withme….”
Westaredateachotheramoment,neitherofussayingaword.FinallyIlookeddownandwhispered,
“When Chet and I were fixing up the yard, I told him how we didnt own the house and about Uncle
David. He must have told the rest of the family, because the day before the Loskis dinner party I
overheard Bryceand hisfriendmaking cracksaboutUncleDavidatschool. Iwasfurious, butIdidn’t
wantyoutoknowbecauseyoudthinktheywereonlyinvitingusoverbecausetheyfeltsorryforus.”I
looked at her and said, “You just seemed so happy about being invited for dinner.” Then I realized
something.“Andyouknow,you’veseemedhappiereversince.”
She held my hand and smiled. “I have a lot to be happy about.” Then she sighed and said, “And I
alreadyknewtheyknewaboutUncleDavid.Itwasfinethatyoutalkedabouthim.He’snotasecretor
anything.”
Isatupalittle.“Wait…howdidyouknow?”
“Patsytoldme.”
Iblinkedather.“Shedid?Beforethedinner?”
“No,no.After.”Shehesitated,thensaid,Patsysbeenoverseveraltimesthisweek.She’s…she’s
goingthroughaveryroughtime.”
“Howcome?”
Momletoutadeepbreathandsaid,“Ithinkyourematureenoughtokeepthisinsidethesefourwalls,
andImonlytellingyoubecause…becauseIthinkit’srelevant.”
Iheldmybreathandwaited.
“PatsyandRickhavebeenhavingferociousfightslately.”
“Mr.andMrs.Loski?Whatabout?”
Momsighed.“Abouteverything,itseems.”
“Idontunderstand.”
Veryquietlymymothersaid,“Forthefirsttimeinherlife,Patsyisseeingherhusbandforwhatheis.
Its twenty years andtwo children late, butthat’s what she’s doing.” She gave me a sad smile. Patsy
seemstobegoingthroughthesamethingyouare.”
The phone rang and Mom said, “Let me get that, okay? Your dad said he’d call if he was working
overtime,andthat’sprobablyhim.”
Whileshewasgone,IrememberedwhatChethadsaidaboutsomeoneheknewwhohadneverlearned
tolookbeneaththesurface.Hadhebeentalkingabouthisowndaughter?Andhowcouldthishappento
heraftertwentyyearsofmarriage?
Whenmymothercameback,Iabsentlyasked,“IsDadworkinglate?”
“ThatwasntDad,sweetheart.ItwasBryce.”
Isatstraightup.“Nowhe’scalling?Ihavelivedacrossthestreetfromhimforsixyearsandhe’snever
oncecalledme!Ishedoingthisbecausehe’sjealous?”
“Jealous?Ofwhom?”
SoIgavehertheblow-by-blow,beginningwithMrs.Stueby,goingclearthroughDarla,theauction,the
furballfight,andendingwithBrycetryingtokissmeinfrontofeverybody.
Sheclappedherhandsandpositivelygiggled.
“Mom,it’snotfunny!
Shetriedtostraightenup.“Iknow,sweetheart,Iknow.”
“IdontwanttowinduplikeMrs.Loski!
“Youdonthavetomarrytheboy,Julianna.Whydon’tyoujustlistentowhathehastosay?Hesounded
desperatetotalktoyou.”
“Whatcouldhepossiblyhavetosay?He’salreadytriedtoblameGarrettforwhathesaidaboutUncle
David,andI’msorry,butIdontbuyit.He’sliedtome,hehasntstoodupforme…he’s…he’snobody
thatIwanttolike.Ijustneedsometimetogetoverallthoseyearsofhavinglikedhim.”
Mom sat there for the longest time, biting her cheek. Then she said, People do change, you know.
Maybehe’shadsomerevelationslately,too.Andfrankly,anyboywhotriestokissagirlinfrontofa
roomfullofotherkidsdoesnotsoundlikeacowardtome.”Shestrokedmyhairandwhispered,“Maybe
there’smoretoBryceLoskithanyouknow.”
Thensheleftmealonewithmythoughts.
MymotherknewIneededtimetothink,butBrycewouldn’tleavemealone.Hekeptcallingonthe
phoneandknockingonthedoor.Heevensnuckaroundthehouseandtappedonmywindow!EverytimeI
turnedaround,therehewas,pesteringme.
Iwantedtobeabletowatertheyardinpeace.Iwantednottohavetoavoidhimatschool orhave
Darlarunblockforme.WhydidntheunderstandthatIwasn’tinterestedinwhathehadtosay?What
couldhepossiblyhavetosay?
Wasitsomuchtoaskjusttobeleftalone?
ThenthisafternoonIwasreadingabookinthefrontroomwiththecurtainsdrawn,hidingfromhimasI
hadallweek,whenIheardanoiseintheyard.IpeekedoutsideandtherewasBryce,walkingacrossmy
grass.Stompingallovermygrass!Andhewascarryingaspade!Whatwasheplanningtodowiththat?
Iflewoffthecouchandyankedopenthedoorandranrightintomyfather.“Stophim!”Icried.
“Calmdown,Julianna,”hesaid,andeasedmebackinside.“Igavehimpermission.”
“Permission!Permissiontodowhat?”Iflewbacktothewindow.“He’sdiggingahole.”
“Thatsright.Itoldhimhecould.”
“Butwhy?
“Ithinktheboyhasaverygoodidea,that’swhy.”
“But—”
“Itsnotgoingtokillyourgrass,Julianna.Justlethimdowhathe’scometodo.”
“Butwhatisit?Whatshedoing?”
“Watch.Youllfigureitout.”
It was torture seeing him dig up my grass. The hole he was making was enormous! How could my
fatherlethimdothistomyyard?
BryceknewIwasthere,too,becausehelookedatmeonceandnodded.Nosmile,nowave,justanod.
He dragged over some pottingsoil,piercedthe bag with the spade, and shoveled dirt into the hole.
Thenhedisappeared.Andwhenhecameback,hewrestledabigburlappedrootballacrossthelawn,the
branchesofaplantrustlingbackandforthashemoved.
Mydadjoinedmeonthecouchandpeekedoutthewindow,too.
“Atree?”Iwhispered.“He’splantingatree?”
“Idhelphim,buthesayshehastodothishimself.”
“Isita…”Thewordsstuckinmythroat.
Ididntreallyneedtoask,though,andheknewhedidn’tneedtoanswer.Icouldtellfromtheshapeof
theleaves,fromthetextureofthetrunk.Thiswasasycamoretree.
Iflippedaroundonthecouchandjustsat.
Asycamoretree.
Brycefinishedplantingthetree,wateredit,cleanedeverythingup,andthenwenthome.AndIjustsat
there,notknowingwhattodo.
I’vebeensittinghereforhoursnow,juststaringoutthewindowatthetree.Itmaybelittlenow,but
it’llgrow,daybyday.Andahundredyearsfromnowitllreachclearovertherooftops.Itllbemilesin
theair!AlreadyIcantell—it’sgoingtobeanamazing,magnificenttree.
AndIcanthelpwondering,ahundredyearsfromnowwillakidclimbitthewayIclimbedtheoneup
onCollierStreet?WillsheseethethingsIdid?WillshefeelthewayIdid?
Willitchangeherlifethewayitchangedmine?
IalsocantstopwonderingaboutBryce.Whathashebeentryingtotellme?Whatshethinkingabout?
Iknowhe’shomebecausehelooksouthiswindowfromtimetotime.Alittlewhileagoheputhishand
upandwaved.AndIcouldn’thelpit—Igavealittlewaveback.
SomaybeIshouldgooverthereandthankhimforthetree.Maybewecouldsitontheporchandtalk.It
justoccurredtomethatin alltheyears we’veknowneachother,we’venever donethat.Never really
talked.
Maybemymothersright.MaybethereismoretoBryceLoskithanIknow.
Maybeit’stimetomeethimintheproperlight.
ACONVERSATIONWITH
WENDELINVANDRAANENABOUTFLIPPED
Q:CanyoutalkaboutyourinspirationsforwritingFlipped?Didyouhavesomeunrequitedcrushes
ofyourown?Orhaveannoyingpeoplecrushingonyou?
A:IwaslikeyoungJuli,withamassivecrushontheneighborboy,andlikeyoungJuli,ImsureIwas
incrediblyannoying.ButbeingahighschoolteacherwastherealinspirationforwritingFlipped.Idsee
studentswithmondocrushesandwanttosaytothegirls,“Oh,honey,heissonotworthit,”ortotheguys,
“She may be hot,but that’s all she’s got,” butof course Im their teacher andtheres no way they can
imaginethatIknowhowtheyfeel.SoIwroteFlippedasawayoftalkingtoteensaboutseeingothersfor
whotheyareinsteadofwhattheylooklike.IwishI’dfoundabooklikeitwhenIwasgrowingup.It
wouldhavehelpedmealot.
Q:ItsgreattohearthestoryfrombothBryce’sandJuli’spointofview—wasityourplanfromthe
beginningtotellthisinalternatingchapters?
A:Myplanwastwoviewpoints,butoriginallyIenvisionedthebooktobeonethathadtwosides—
Bryce’ssideandJuli’sside—whereyouwouldhavetoflipthebookovertoreadtheotherpointofview
andthesectionswouldmeetinthemiddle.Ilovethesymbolismofthis,butwhenitcamedowntoit,the
storytellingwasbetterservedbyhavingalternatingchapters.
Q:Haveyoueverraisedchicks?Areyouaclimberoftrees?Doyouplayinabandwithacontinually
changingname?!Allthedetailsinthebookaresovivid—aretheydrawnfromyourownlife?
A:No,yes,and,uh…yeah.Althoughthebandhasneverhadanamethathadanythingtodowithleg
lifting. Writing is a combination of experiences and research, and the whole chick thing took a lot of
research.Climbingthetree?Thatwasverynaturaltowriteabout.Skylersgarage?Pieceofcake.
Q:DoyouhaveanyplanstowriteasequeltoFlipped?
A:Ivehadalotofrequestsforasequel,butIthinkitsthewrongthingtodo.Mypurposeforthis
bookistogetthereadertothinkaboutwhattheywouldwantforthemselvesinarelationship.IfIwritea
sequelandshowwhathappenstoBryceandJuli,thenthatsansweringthequestionforthem.WhatItell
fansistoputthemselvesintoBryce’sorJulisshoesandlivetheirlifeinawaythatwouldmakeforthe
futuretheywouldwant.
Q:IknowfanshavewrittentoyoucomplainingthatJuliandBrycedontkissattheendofthebook.
Whydidyoumakethatchoice?
A:Becausethewholepointofthebookisthattrueloveisanchoredinknowingandrespectingthe
person.AndalthoughJuliandBrycearefinallystartingtoseeeachotherforwhotheyare,thisprocess
takestime.Ilovetheopen-endedoptimismofFlipped,butIdounderstandthatmyreaderswantedtosee
kissing,soIdedicatedmynextromanticcomedyConfessionsofaSerialKisser—tofansofFlipped.
You wanted kissing? You got kissing! And although, as in Flipped, the premise seems simple,
Confessionshasalotgoingon“beneaththesurface.”Itmaybewrappedinhumorandkissing,butit’s
reallyastoryaboutfindingyourselfandthehealingpowerofforgiveness.
HERE’SASNEAKPEEK
ATANOTHERGREATROMANCE
FROMWENDELINVANDRAANEN
ExcerptfromConfessionsofaSerialKissercopyright©2008
byWendelinVanDraanenParsons.
Allrightsreserved.
1
DirtyLaundry
MYNAMEISEVANGELINEBIANCALOGAN,andIamaserialkisser.
Ihaventalwaysbeenaserialkisser.TherewasatimenotthatlongagowhenIhadnexttonokissing
experience.Itsinterestinghowthingscanchangesofast—howyoucangofrombeingsixteenwithvery
fewlip-lockingcredentialstobeingbarelyseventeenandacertifiedserialkisser.
Itallstartedonedaywithdirtylaundry.
AtleastthatswhatItraceitbackto.
My mother had said, Evangeline, please. I could really use some help around the house.” She’d
lookedsotired,and whatwithhomeworkandtheamountoftimeIdbeenwasting atGroove Records
looking through old LPs and CDs, I had been slacking. Especially compared to the hours shed been
working.
SoafterschoolthenextdayIkickedintogear.IhadthecondotomyselfbecauseMomwasworkingher
usualelevenA.M.toeightP.M.shift,andsincemytasteinmusicisoldbluesandclassicrock(probably
thankstobeingbombardedwithitsincemyearlydaysinthewomb),IselectedanAerosmithgreatesthits
CDandcrankeditup.
I made the kitchen spotless during “Mama Kin,” “Dream On,” “Same Old Song and Dance,” and
“Seasons of Wither,” sang along with “Walk This Way and “Sweet Emotion while I cleaned the
bathroom,thentidiedthebedroomsthrough“LastChild”and“BackintheSaddle.”
It was during the pulsing beat of Dude (Looks Like a Lady)” that I began my fateful search for
waywardlaundry.
LaundryattheLogangirlsresidenceisntfoundinhampers.Itsfoundonthefloor,drapedoverchairs,
putrefyinginboxesandbaskets…itsanywheremymomandIwanttodumpit.Andinmyrocked-out
stateIwascheckingforlaundryinplacesI’dneverlookedbefore.Likeonherclosetfloor,behindand
betweenthebigpackingboxesthatstillserveasmymothersdresser,andthenundermymothersbed.It
wastherethatIdiscoveredonedustysockandawholelibraryofbooks.
Notjustrandombooks,either.
Romancebooks.
AtfirstallIcoulddowasgawkatthecovers.Idseenthesekindsofbooksatthegrocerystore,but
theyweresoobviouslystupidandtrashythatIwouldntbecaughtdeadactuallylookingatone.
ButnowhereIwaswithawholelibraryoftrashinfrontofmeandnoworriesthatsomeonemightspot
me.
Soasstrainsof“Angelbeganplaying,Ilooked!
Ichecked outall the covers, then started readingthe blurbs on thebacks. Aerosmith eventually quit
playing,butIdidntevennotice.Iwasskimmingpages,laughingattheridiculous,floweryprose,myjaw
literally dropping as I read (in great detail) how one books chisel-chested man and his luscious lady
“joinedsoulsinsublimeadoration.”
Icouldn’tbelievewhatI’dfound.Couldn’tbelievemymother!WhileIwassloggingthroughTheLast
oftheMohicansandTheRedBadgeofCourageformyinsaneliteratureteacher,MissRyder,mymother
wasreadingbookswithbare-chestedmenandswooningwomen?MissRyderwouldhaveanEnglish-lit
fitoverthesebooks,andforonceI’dagreewithher!
ButforeachbookIputdown,Ipickedupanother.Andanother.Andanother.Why,Idontknow.WasI
lookingformoresouljoining?Idontthinkso.Somethingtoholdovermymother’shead?Shedidntneed
any more ravaging. Ithink it was more that I was still in shock over my mom beinga closet romance
freak.
ButaftertenpagesoutofthemiddleofabookcalledACrimsonKiss,somethingweird happened: I
actuallykindofcaredaboutDelilah,thewomanthatthestorywasabout.
Ireadsomemoreoutofthemiddle,butsinceIdidntgetwhyDelilahwasinherpredicament,Iwent
backtothebeginningtofigureitout.
Ihavenoideawherethetimewent.Iwascarriedawaybythestory,sweptintotheswirlofromance,
racinghearts,anticipation,andlove.Theywerethingsthatweremissinginmyreallife.Aftersixmonths
ofwatchingmyparents’marriageimplode,Ifoundithardtobelieveintruelove.
But inside the pages of this book my parents’ problems vanished. It was just Delilah and her hero,
Grayson—amanwhosekisswouldsaveherfromherheartacheandmakeherfeelalive.
Lovefeltpossible.
Onekiss—therightkiss—couldconquerall!
SoIreadon,devouringthebookuntilIwasjoltedbacktorealitybymymotherjanglingthroughthe
frontdoor.
Busted!
Inmypanic,itdidntevenoccurtomethatshewasreallytheonebusted.Ijustshovedherbooksback
underherbedandescapedtomyroomwithACrimsonKiss.
2
ShiftingParadigms
OVERTHENEXTFEWMONTHSIreadeverybookinmymother’ssub-mattresslibraryincludingaself-
helpbookonfindingyourinnerpowerandanotheronetitledACalltoActiononhowtotakechargeof
yourlife.(Booksshe’dgotten,nodoubt,tohelphergetovermytwo-timingdad.)
ButitwasACrimsonKissthatIkeptgoingbackto.ItwasACrimsonKissthatIreadandreread.The
other romance novels didnt haveany layers to them;no real guts. It was like pop versus rock. Some
peoplelikethepuretonesofpop,buttomeitsjustgloss.There’snothingbehindit.Givemetheheart-
wrenchinggrittygutsofbluesorrockanyday.
NotthatACrimsonKisswaswritteninagrittyway,butitsurewasheart-wrenching.Andthekissing
was incredibly passionate! I dreamed scenes from it at night, waking some mornings still feeling the
breathlesstranscendenceofaperfectlydeliveredkiss.
OnceIwasfullyawake,though,realitywouldstrike.
Itwasjustadream.
Justaromanticfantasy.
Then onemorning, Ifound a book on thekitchen table beside an empty bowl. (A bowlwith telltale
signsofmidnightbingeingonchocolateicecream.)Thebookwassplayedopen,spineup,andthetitle
wasWelcometoaBetterLife.
IlookeditoverasIatemyusualbefore-schoolbowlofcereal(inthiscase,Cheerios).Thesection
titleswerethingslike:“Re-envisionYourLife!”;“TheTimeIsNOW!”;“TheChangeIsYourstoMake!”;
“Living Your Best Life!”; SeeIt,BeIt!”;“What Are You WaitingFor?”;“Shift Your Paradigm!”;and
“FourStepstoLivingYourFantasy!
Fourstepstolivingmyfantasy?
ThisIhadtosee.
Toomanyanecdotesandtestimonialslater,theauthorfinallyputforthstepnumberone:
DefineYourFantasy.
Okaaaaay.
IpouredmyselfasecondbowlofCheeriosanddefinedmyfantasy:
Iwantedlove.AlovelikeGraysonandDelilahs.
Butsomethingaboutthatfeltwrong.Itwastooheavy.Tooserious.
ItookabiteofCheerios,andasImunched,theimageofGraysonkissingDelilahdriftedthroughmy
mind.
Thatwasit.
Thekiss.
Iwantedmyown“crimsonkiss.”
Iwentbacktothebookanddiscoveredthatstepnumbertwowaseasy:
SpeakYourFantasy.
“Iwantacrimsonkiss,”Iwhisperedintothequietofthekitchen,feelingmorethanalittlesilly.
Stepthree:SeeYourFantasy.
IclosedmyeyesandpicturedmyselfasDelilah,picturedGraysonsweepingmeintohisarms,looking
lovingly into my eyes, his mouth descending toward mine, his lips brushing against mine, warm and
tender,fullofsmolderingpassion….
Oh,yeah.Icoulddefinitelyseeit.
I shook off the shivers, then turned the page and discovered that step number four was: Live Your
Fantasy.
Livemyfantasy?
HowwasIsupposedtodothat?
Allthebookreallyofferedbywayofexplanationwas,“Seeit,believeit,liveit.”
Isnortedandslappedthebookshut.Whatarip-off!
ThenInoticedthekitchenclock.
7:30?
Already?
Iflewaroundthecondogettingreadyforschool,anddespitesomeunintentionalbangingandclanging,I
managedtoslipoutthedoorwithoutwakingmymother.
I hurried toward school, and as I walked, my flip-flops seemed to slap to the rhythm of the steps
outlinedinWelcometoaBetterLife.
SpeakYourFantasy.
SeeYourFantasy.
LiveYourFantasy.
Thecadenceofitwascatchy.Likethechorusofasong.
SpeakYourFantasy.
SeeYourFantasy.
LiveYourFantasy.
And as it repeated in my head, I suddenly realized how much my life had been dominated by my
parents’breakup.WhenwasthelasttimeIdeventhoughtaboutmyownlovelife?
SpeakYourFantasy.
SeeYourFantasy.
LiveYourFantasy.
Maybeitcouldbethateasy.Icouldjustlivemyownlife!Getoutfromundertheirdarkcloud!Have
somefun.
SpeakYourFantasy.
“Iwantacrimsonkiss!”Ishoutedintothesky.
SeeYourFantasy.
Ispuninafantasydanceacrossanintersection,adoredinmymind’seyebymyowndashingGrayson.
LiveYourFantasy.
IhurriedontotheLarkmontHighSchoolcampus.Mylifewasgoingtochange!
3
AdrienneWillow
I MADE A BEELINE ACROSS THE QUAD—hurrying past the outdoor stage, zigzagging between cement
lunchtablesand acrosspatchy grass—toreachmybestfriend,AdrienneWillow,who wasperchedon
“our”brickplanter,organizingherbinder.
Ihoppedupbesideher.“Ihadanepiphanythismorning.”
“Really?”sheasked,snappingtheringsofherbinderclosed.“Whatsthat?”
“Imdonebeingdraggedthroughtheknotholeofmyparents’life.Imgoingtostartlivingmyown.”
Shelookedup,blinked,thenwhoopedandjumpedofftheplanter.“Itsabouttime!
“DoyouknowhowmuchIvemissedthisyear?Ididntgooutforvolleyball,Ididntjoinlinkcrewor
helpwiththewarmthdrive…allIvedoneisliveundertheirdarkcloudandstudy.”
Adriennehadbeenbouncingwithexcitement,butshesuddenlystopped,soIfollowedherlineofsight
acrossthequad.
ItwasTatianaPhillips.
“Itwasntherfault,”Isaidquietly.“Itwashermoms.Andmydad’s.Ishouldn’thaveletitstopme.”
“From playing volleyball?” Adrienne asked, giving me her trademark squint. “No one could have
played under those circumstances!” She snorted. “Her mother and your dad sitting together at games?
Please.”
Ilookeddown.Adriennehasanuncannywayofputtingherfingerontheheartofthehurt.
Thewarningbellclanged.“Thepointis,”Isaidfirmly,“Imthroughlettingitruinmylife.Ineedto
havesomefun.Ineedtoshiftparadigms.”
“Youneedtowhat?”
Ilaughed,thenspreadoutmyarmsandlookeddownatmybaggyJohnLennonImagine”T-shirtand
frayedjeans.“Ineedamakeover!”Icaughthereye.“AndIneedyoutohelpme.”
Shecollectedherthings.“Anything,”shesaid.“Youknowthat.Anything.”
Thenshegavemeatighthug,andwehurriedofftoourfirst-periodclasses.
4
RobbieMarshall
FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARSIvemade ahabitofignoringRobbieMarshall. He’sgorgeous,but
that’sexactlywhyIignorehim.
Likeheneedsonemoregirlfawningoverhim?
Weusedtobefriendlybutthatwasbackinmiddleschool.Backwhenhewasntafraidtobesmart.
BackbeforehegrewintoRobbieMarshall,gorgeousjock.
So in firstperiod all the other girls in class paid attention toRobbie Marshalls biceps, and I paid
attention to Mrs. Fieldmans math lesson. Mrs. Fieldman is a real pro. She’s clear and concise, and
there’snofallingasleepinherclass—shecoversmorematerialinadaythansometeachersdoinaweek,
andifyoudon’tpayattention,youcankissagoodgradegoodbye.
AftermathIcontinuedthroughmymorningclasses,slippingintothetypicalrhythmofaschoolday.But
somewhere in the middle of third period I realized that I was doing what Id been doing all year:
focusing,takingnotes,gettingajumponthehomework.Funwasnopartoftheequation.Iwascertainly
notlivingmyfantasy!
Soasthirdperiodwounddown,IdidsomethingIneverdo—Ipackedupearly,andwhenthebellrang,
Iboltedoutoftheclassroom.
ApparentlyI’m a complete klutz atboltingfrom classrooms, because notonly did Ihurt mywrist,I
managedtoslamthedoorintosomeonewalkingby.
Someonewhoturnedouttobe…RobbieMarshall.
“Sorry!”Isaid,turningbeetred.
“Noproblem,”hereplied.
Andthenhesmiledatme.
Diamondsseemedtodancebetweenhislipsashegazedatme.Hiseyestwinkledsmokygray.Hishair
lookedlikeithadbeencombedthroughwithsunshine.
Thenhewasgone.
Butjustlikethat,myfantasyfoundadirection.
Adestination.
Istaggeredtomyfourth-periodclass,outofbreathand(granted)outofmymind.SuddenlyallIcould
seewasRobbieMarshallsface.
AllthroughMissRydersAmerican-litlectureIfantasizedaboutRobbieMarshall.
Hiseyes.
Hissmile.
Hislips.
I didnt concentrate on my classwork, didnt scrutinize the red comments on the essay Miss Ryder
passed back. By the end of class my chance collision with the schools most gorgeous jock was
completelyentwinedwithmynewfounddesiretolivemyfantasy
Ithadallbecomeperfectlyclear.
IneededtokissRobbieMarshall.
WENDELINVANDRAANENspentmanyyearsasaclassroomteacherandisnowa
full-timewriter.Sheistheauthorofmanyaward-winningbooks,includingtheSammyKeyesmysteries,
SweartoHowdy,Runaway,andConfessionsofaSerialKisser.
Ms.VanDraanenliveswithherhusband,twosons,andtwodogsinCalifornia.Herhobbiesinclude
the“threeRs”:reading,running,androck’n’roll.