Praisefor

FLIPPED

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WinneroftheCaliforniaYoungReaderMedal

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WinneroftheSouthCarolinaChildren’sBookAward

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WinneroftheNevadaYoungReaders’Award

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WinneroftheVirginiaYoungReadersProgramAward

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ASchoolLibraryJournalBestBook



AnIRA-CBCChildren’sChoice

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AnIRA-CBCTeachers’Choice

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ANewYorkPublicLibraryBookfortheTeenAge

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AJudyLopezMemorialAwardHonorWinner

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∗“VanDraanenhasanotherwinnerinthiseighth-grade‘hesaid,she-said’romance.”

—SchoolLibraryJournal,Starred

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“Weflippedoverthisfantasticbook,itsgutsygirlJulianditswise,wonderfulending.”

—ChicagoTribune

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“Delightful!Delicious!Andtotallyteen.”

—BookPage

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∗“Withacharismaticleadingladykidswillflipover,acompellingdynamicbetweenthe

twonarratorsandaresonantending,thisnovelisagreatdeallargerthanthesumofitsparts.”

—PublishersWeekly,Starred

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“Awonderful,light-heartednovel.”

—LibraryTalk

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“Thisisawrycharacterstudy,aromancewithsubstanceandsubtlety.”

—Booklist

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“Ahighlyagreeableromanticcomedy.”

—KirkusReviews



THISISABORZOIBOOKPUBLISHEDBYALFREDA.KNOPF



Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentseitheraretheproductofthe

author’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,events,or

localesisentirelycoincidental.



Textcopyright©2001byWendelinVanDraanenParsons

MotionPictureArtworkcopyright©2010byWarnerBros.EntertainmentInc.



Allrightsreserved.PublishedintheUnitedStatesbyAlfredA.Knopf,animprintofRandomHouse

Children’sBooks,adivisionofRandomHouse,Inc.,NewYork.Originallypublishedinhardcoverinthe

UnitedStatesbyAlfredA.Knopfin2001.



Knopf,BorzoiBooks,andthecolophonareregisteredtrademarksofRandomHouse,Inc.



“MyGirl”

WordsandMusicbyWilliam“Smokey”RobinsonandRonaldWhite©1964,1972(renewed1992,

2000),1973,1977JOBETEMUSICCO.,INC.AllRightsControlledandAdministeredbyEMIAPRIL

MUSICINC.AllRightsReserved.InternationalCopyrightSecured.Usedbypermission.



VisitusontheWeb!www.randomhouse.com/teens



Educatorsandlibrarians,foravarietyofteachingtools,visitusatwww.randomhouse.com/teachers



Formoreinformationabout“Flipped”themovie,gotoWarnerBrothers’officialmovesite.



TheLibraryofCongresshascatalogedthehardcovereditionofthisworkasfollows:

VanDraanen,Wendelin.

Flipped/byWendelinVanDraanen.

p.cm.

Summary:Inalternatingchapters,twoteenagersdescribehowtheirfeelingsaboutthemselves,eachother,

andtheirfamilieshavechangedovertheyears.



[1.Interpersonalrelations—Fiction.2.Conductoflife—Fiction.3.Familylife—Fiction.4.Self-

perception—Fiction.]I.Title.

Z7.V2857Fl2001

[Fic]—dc212001029238



eISBN:978-0-375-98267-5



RandomHouseChildren’sBookssupportstheFirstAmendmentandcelebratestherighttoread.



v3.0

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Dedicatedwithinfiniteloveto

ColtonandConnor,

whomakemefeellikesomuchmorethanthesumofmyparts.



Specialthanksto…

myhusband,MarkParsons,

whohelpsmefeelthemagic,

and

myexcellenteditor,NancySiscoe,

forhercareandinsight

(andformakingmesticktoareduced-fillerdiet).



Also,eternalgratitudeto

TadCallahanandPatriciaGabel,

whowereontheballwhenweneededitmost.



Finally,thankstoJeanneMadridandthestaffatCasaDeVida—

mayyoukeepthespirit.



Contents

Flipped
Bryce:DivingUnder
Juli:Flipped
Bryce:Buddy,Beware!
Juli:TheSycamoreTree
Bryce:Brawk-Brawk-Brawk!
Juli:TheEggs
Bryce:GetaGrip,Man
Juli:TheYard
Bryce:LoomingLargeandSmelly
Juli:TheVisit
Bryce:TheSeriousWillies
Juli:TheDinner
Bryce:Flipped
Juli:TheBasketBoys
AConversationwithWendelinVanDraanen
SneakPeekofConfessionsofaSerialKisser

Bryce:DivingUnder



AllI’veeverwantedisforJuliBakertoleavemealone.Forhertobackoff—youknow,justgive

mesomespace.

Itallstartedthesummerbeforesecondgradewhenourmovingvanpulledintoherneighborhood.And

since we’re now aboutdone with the eighth grade, that, my friend, makes more than half a decade of

strategicavoidanceandsocialdiscomfort.

Shedidn’tjustbargeintomylife.Shebargedandshovedandwedgedherwayintomylife.Didwe

invitehertogetintoourmovingvanandstartclimbingalloverboxes?No!Butthat’sexactlywhatshe

did,takingoverandshowingofflikeonlyJuliBakercan.

Mydadtriedtostopher.“Hey!”hesaysasshe’scatapultingherselfonboard.“Whatareyoudoing?

You’regettingmudeverywhere!”Sotrue,too.Hershoeswere,like,cakedwiththestuff.

Shedidn’thopout,though.Instead,sheplantedherrearendonthefloorandstartedpushingabigbox

withherfeet.“Don’tyouwantsomehelp?”Sheglancedmyway.“Itsurelookslikeyouneedit.”

Ididn’tliketheimplication.And eventhoughmy dad hadbeen tossing me the samesortoflookall

week,Icouldtell—hedidn’tlikethisgirleither.“Hey!Don’tdothat,”hewarnedher.“Therearesome

reallyvaluablethingsinthatbox.”

“Oh.Well,howaboutthisone?”ShescootsovertoaboxlabeledLENOXandlooksmywayagain.

“Weshouldpushittogether!”

“No, no, no!” my dad says, then pulls her up by the arm. “Why don’t you run along home? Your

mother’sprobablywonderingwhereyouare.”

Thiswasthebeginningofmysoon-to-become-acuteawarenessthatthegirlcannottakeahint.Ofany

kind.Doessheziponhomelikeakidshouldwhenthey’vebeeninvitedtoleave?No.Shesays,“Oh,my

momknowswhereIam.Shesaiditwasfine.”Thenshepointsacrossthestreetandsays,“Wejustlive

rightoverthere.”

Myfatherlookstowhereshe’spointingandmutters,“Ohboy.”Thenhelooksatmeandwinksashe

says,“Bryce,isn’tittimeforyoutogoinsideandhelpyourmother?”

Iknewrightoffthatthiswasaditchplay.AndIdidn’tthinkaboutituntillater,butditchwasn’taplay

I’drunwithmydadbefore.Faceit,pullingaditchisnotsomethingdiscussedwithdads.It’slike,against

parentallawtotellyourkidit’sokaytoditchsomeone,nomatterhowannoyingormuddytheymightbe.

Buttherehewas,puttingtheplayinmotion,andman,hedidn’thavetowinktwice.Ismiledandsaid,

“Surething!”thenjumpedofftheliftgateandheadedformynewfrontdoor.

IheardhercomingaftermebutIcouldn’tbelieveit.Maybeitjustsoundedlikeshewaschasingme;

maybeshewasreallygoingtheotherway.ButbeforeIgotupthenervetolook,sheblastedrightpastme,

grabbingmyarmandyankingmealong.

This was too much. I planted myself and was about to tell her to get lost when the weirdest thing

happened. I was making this big windmill motion to break away from her, but somehow on the

downswing my hand wound up tangling into hers. I couldn’t believe it. There I was, holding the mud

monkey’shand!



Itriedtoshakeheroff,butshejustclampedontightandyankedmealong,saying,“C’mon!”

My mom came out of the house and immediately got the world’s sappiest look on her face. “Well,

hello,”shesaystoJuli.

“Hi!”

I’m still tryingto pull free, butthe girl’s gotme ina death grip. My mom’s grinning, lookingat our

handsandmyfieryredface.“Andwhat’syourname,honey?”

“JuliannaBaker.Iliverightoverthere,”shesays,pointingwithherunoccupiedhand.

“Well,Iseeyou’vemetmyson,”shesays,stillgrinningaway.

“Uh-huh!”

FinallyIbreakfreeanddotheonlymanlythingavailablewhenyou’resevenyearsold—Idivebehind

mymother.

Mom puts her arm around me and says, “Bryce, honey, why don’t you show Julianna around the

house?”

I flash her help and warning signals with every part of my body, but she’s not receiving. Then she

shakesmeoffandsays,“Goon.”

Juliwould’vetrampedrightinifmymotherhadn’tnoticedhershoesandtoldhertotakethemoff.And

afterthosewereoff,mymomtoldherthatherdirtysockshadtogo,too.Juliwasn’tembarrassed.Nota

bit.Shejustpeeledthemoffandlefttheminacrustyheaponourporch.

Ididn’texactlygiveheratour.Ilockedmyselfinthebathroominstead.Andafterabouttenminutesof

yellingbackatherthatno,Iwasn’tcomingoutanytimesoon,thingsgotquietoutinthehall.Anotherten

minuteswentbybeforeIgotthenervetopeekoutthedoor.

NoJuli.

Isnuckoutandlookedaround,andyes!Shewasgone.

Notaverysophisticatedditch,buthey,Iwasonlyseven.

Mytroubleswerefarfromover,though.Everydayshecameback,overandoveragain.“CanBryce

play?”Icouldhearheraskingfrommyhidingplacebehindthecouch.“Ishereadyyet?”Onetimeshe

evencutacrosstheyardandlookedthroughmywindow.Ispottedherinthenickoftimeanddoveunder

mybed,butman,thatrighttheretellsyousomethingaboutJuliBaker.She’sgotnoconceptofpersonal

space.Norespectforprivacy.Theworldisherplayground,andwatchoutbelow—Juli’sontheslide!

Luckyforme,mydadwaswillingtorunblock.Andhediditoverandoveragain.HetoldherIwas

busyorsleepingorjustplaingone.Hewasalifesaver.

Mysister, on the other hand, tried tosabotageme any chance she got. Lynetta’s likethat.She’s four

years older than me, and buddy, I’ve learned from watching her how not to run your life. She’s got

ANTAGONIZEwrittenalloverher.Justlookather—notcross-eyedorwithyourtonguestickingoutor

anything—justlookatherandyou’vestartedanargument.

Iusedtoknock-down-drag-outwithher,butit’sjustnotworthit.Girlsdon’tfightfair.Theypullyour

hairandgougeyouandpinchyou;thentheyrunoffgaspingtomommywhenyoutryanddefendyourself

withafist.Thenyougetlockedintotime-out,andforwhat?No,myfriend,thesecretis,don’tsnapatthe

bait.Letitdangle.Swimaroundit.Laughitoff.Afterawhilethey’llgiveupandtrytoluresomeoneelse.

Atleastthat’sthewayitiswithLynetta.Andthebonusofhavingherasapain-in-the-rearsisterwas

figuringoutthatthismethodworksoneveryone.Teachers,jerksatschool,evenMomandDad.Seriously.

There’snowinningargumentswithyourparents,sowhygetallpumpedupoverthem?Itiswaybetterto

divedownandgetoutofthewaythanitistogetclobberedbysomeparentaltidalwave.

The funny thing is, Lynetta’s still clueless when it comes to dealing with Mom and Dad. She goes

straightinto thrash mode and is toobusy drowning in the argument totake a deep breath and dive for

calmerwater.

AndshethinksI’mstupid.

Anyway,truetoform,LynettatriedtobaitmewithJulithosefirstfewdays.Sheevensnuckherpast

Dadonceandmarchedherallaroundthehouse,huntingmedown.Iwedgedmyselfuponthetopshelfof

mycloset,andluckyforme,neitherofthemlookedup.AfewminuteslaterIheardDadyellatJulitoget

offtheantiquefurniture,andonceagain,shegotbooted.

Idon’tthinkIwentoutsidethatwholefirstweek.IhelpedunpackstuffandwatchedTVandjustkindof

hung around while my mom and dad arranged and rearranged the furniture, debating whether Empire

setteesandFrenchRococotablesshouldevenbeputinthesameroom.

Sobelieveme,Iwasdyingtogooutside.ButeverytimeIcheckedthroughthewindow,IcouldseeJuli

showingoffinheryard.She’dbeheadingasoccerballordoinghighkickswithitordribblingitupand

down their driveway. And when she wasn’t busy showing off, she’d just sit on the curb with the ball

betweenherfeet,staringatourhouse.

Mymomdidn’tunderstandwhyitwassoawfulthat“thatcutelittlegirl”hadheldmyhand.Shethought

Ishouldmakefriendswithher.“Ithoughtyoulikedsoccer,honey.Whydon’tyougooutthereandkickthe

ballaround?”

BecauseIdidn’twanttobekickedaround, that’swhy.AndalthoughIcouldn’tsayitlikethatatthe

time,IstillhadenoughsenseatagesevenandahalftoknowthatJuliBakerwasdangerous.

Unavoidably dangerous, as it turns out. The minute I walked into Mrs. Yelson’s second-grade

classroom,Iwasdeadmeat.“Bryce!”Julisqueals.“You’rehere.”Thenshechargesacrosstheroomand

tacklesme.

Mrs.Yelsontriedtoexplainthisattackawayasa“welcomehug,”butman,thatwasnohug.Thatwasa

front-line,take-’em-downtackle.AndeventhoughIshookheroff,itwastoolate.Iwasbrandedforlife.

Everyonejeered,“Where’syourgirlfriend,Bryce?”“Areyoumarriedyet,Bryce?”Andthenwhenshe

chasedmearoundatrecessandtriedtolaykissesonme,thewholeschoolstartedsinging,“Bryceand

Julisittinginatree,K-I-S-S-I-N-G…”

Myfirstyearintownwasadisaster.

Thirdgradewasn’tmuchbetter.ShewasstillhotonmytraileverytimeIturnedaround.Samewith

fourth.ButtheninfifthgradeItookaction.

Itstartedoutslow—oneofthoseNah-that’s-not-rightideasyougetandforget.ButthemoreIplayed

withtheidea,themoreIthought,WhatbetterwaytowardJulioff?Whatbetterwaytosaytoher,“Juli,

youarenotmytype”?

Andso,myfriend,Ihatchedtheplan.

IaskedShellyStallsout.

To fully appreciate the brilliance of this, you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls. She

alwayshas,thoughitbeatsmewhy.Shelly’sniceandshe’sfriendlyandshe’sgotalotofhair.What’snot

to like? But Juli hated her, and I was going to make this little gem of knowledge the solution to my

problem.

WhatIwasthinkingwasthatShellywouldeatlunchatourtableandmaybewalkaroundalittlewith

me.Thatway,anytimeJuliwasaround,allI’dhavetodowashangalittleclosertoShellyandthings

wouldjustnaturallytakecareofthemselves.Whathappened,though,isthatShellytookthingswaytoo

seriously.Shewentaroundtellingeverybody—includingJuli—thatwewereinlove.

InnotimeJuliandShellygotintosomekindofcatfight,andwhileShellywasrecoveringfromthat,my

supposed friend Garrett — who had been totally behind this plan — told her what I was up to. He’s

alwaysdeniedit,butI’vesincelearnedthathiscodeofhonoriseasilycorruptedbyweepyfemales.

Thatafternoontheprincipaltriedcross-examiningme,butIwouldn’tcoptoanything.Ijustkepttelling

herthatIwassorryandthatIreallydidn’tunderstandwhathadhappened.Finallysheletmego.

Shelly cried for days and followed me around school sniffling and making me feel like a real jerk,

whichwasevenworsethanhavingJuliasashadow.

Everything blew over at the one-week mark, though, when Shelly officially dumped me and started

goingoutwithKyleLarsen.ThenJulistartedupwiththegoo-gooeyesagain,andIwasbacktosquare

one.

Now,insixthgradethingschanged,thoughwhethertheyimprovedishardtosay.Idon’trememberJuli

actuallychasingmeinthesixthgrade.ButIdorememberhersniffingme.

Yes,myfriend,Isaidsniffing.

Andyoucanblamethatonourteacher,Mr.Mertins.HestuckJulitomelikeglue.Mr.Mertinshasgot

some kindof doctorate in seating arrangements or something,because he analyzed and scrutinized and

practicallybaptizedtheseatswehadtositin.AndofcoursehedecidedtoseatJulirightnexttome.

JuliBakeristhekindofannoyingpersonwhomakesapointoflettingyouknowshe’ssmart.Herhand

isthefirstoneup;heranswersareusuallycompletedissertations;herprojectsarealwaysturnedinearly

andusedasweaponsagainsttherestoftheclass.Teachersalwayshavetoholdherprojectupandsay,

“This iswhatI’m lookingfor, class.This isanexampleofA-pluswork.” Addall the extracreditshe

doestoanalreadyperfectscore,andIswearshe’snevergottenlessthan120percentinanysubject.

ButafterMr.MertinsstuckJulirightnexttome,herannoyingknowledgeofallsubjectsfarandwide

came in handy. See, suddenly Juli’s perfect answers, written in perfect cursive, were right across the

aisle,justaneye-shotaway.Youwouldn’tbelievethenumberofanswersIsnaggedfromher.Istarted

gettingA’sandB’soneverything!Itwasgreat!

But thenMr.Mertins pulledthe shift. Hehad some newidea for “optimizingpositional latitudeand

longitude,”andwhenthedustfinallysettled,IwassittingrightinfrontofJuliBaker.

Thisiswherethesniffingcomesin.Thatmaniacstartedleaningforwardandsniffingmyhair.She’d

edgehernosepracticallyuptomyscalpandsniff-sniff-sniff.

I tried elbowing and back-kicking. I tried scooting my chair way forward or putting my backpack

betweenmeandtheseat.Nothinghelped.She’djustscootup,too,orleanoveralittlefartherandsniff-

sniff-sniff.

IfinallyaskedMr.Mertinstomoveme,buthewouldn’tdoit.Somethingaboutnotwantingtodisturb

thedelicatebalanceofeducationalenergies.

Whatever. I was stuck with her sniffing. And since I couldn’t see her perfectly penned answers

anymore,mygradestookadive.Especiallyinspelling.

Thenonetime,duringatest,Juli’sinthemiddleofsniffingmyhairwhenshenoticesthatI’veblowna

spellingword.Alotofwords.Suddenlythesniffingstopsandthewhisperingstarts.AtfirstIcouldn’t

believeit.JuliBakercheating?Butsureenough,shewasspellingwordsforme,rightinmyear.

Juli’dalwaysbeenslyaboutsniffing,whichreallybuggedmebecausenooneevernoticedherdoingit,

butshewasjustasslyaboutgivingmeanswers,whichwasokaybyme.ThebadthingaboutitwasthatI

startedcountingonherspellinginmyear.Imean,whystudywhenyoudon’thaveto,right?Butaftera

while,takingallthoseanswersmademefeelsortofindebtedtoher.Howcanyoutellsomeonetobugoff

orquitsniffingyouwhenyouowethem?It’s,youknow,wrong.

SoIspentthesixthgradesomewherebetweenuncomfortableandunhappy,butIkeptthinkingthatnext

year,nextyear,thingswouldbedifferent.We’dbeinjuniorhigh—abigschool—indifferentclasses.It

wouldbeaworldwithtoomanypeopletoworryabouteverseeingJuliBakeragain.

Itwasfinally,finallygoingtobeover.

Juli:Flipped



ThefirstdayImetBryceLoski,Iflipped.Honestly,onelookathimandIbecamealunatic.It’shis

eyes. Something in his eyes. They’re blue, and framed in the blackness of his lashes, they’re dazzling.

Absolutelybreathtaking.

It’sbeenoversixyearsnow,andIlearnedlongagotohidemyfeelings,butoh,thosefirstdays.Those

firstyears!IthoughtIwoulddieforwantingtobewithhim.

Twodaysbeforethesecondgradeiswhenitstarted,althoughtheanticipationbeganweeksbefore—

eversincemymotherhadtoldmethattherewasafamilywithaboymyagemovingintothenewhouse

rightacrossthestreet.

Soccercamphadended,andI’dbeensoboredbecausetherewasnobody,absolutelynobody,inthe

neighborhoodtoplaywith.Oh,therewerekids,buteveryoneofthemwasolder.Thatwasdandyformy

brothers,butwhatitleftmewashomealone.

My mother was there, but she had better things to do than kick a soccer ball around. So she said,

anyway.AtthetimeIdidn’tthinktherewasanythingbetterthankickingasoccerballaround,especially

notthelikesoflaundryordishesorvacuuming,butmymotherdidn’tagree.Andthedangerofbeinghome

alonewithherwasthatshe’drecruitmetohelpherwashordustorvacuum,andshewouldn’ttoleratethe

dribblingofasoccerballaroundthehouseasImovedfromchoretochore.

Toplayitsafe,Iwaitedoutsideforweeks,justincasethenewneighborsmovedinearly.Literally,it

wasweeks.Ientertainedmyselfbyplayingsoccerwithourdog,Champ.Mostlyhe’djustblockbecausea

dogcan’texactlykickandscore,butonceinawhilehe’ddribblewithhisnose.Thescentofaballmust

overwhelmadog,though,becauseChampwouldeventuallytrytochompit,thenlosetheballtome.

WhentheLoskis’movingvanfinallyarrived,everyoneinmyfamilywashappy.“LittleJulianna”was

finallygoingtohaveaplaymate.

Mymother,beingthetrulysensibleadultthatsheis,mademewaitmorethananhourbeforegoingover

tomeethim.“Givethemachancetostretchtheirlegs,Julianna,”shesaid.“They’llwantsometimeto

adjust.”Shewouldn’tevenletmewatchfromtheyard.“Iknowyou,sweetheart.Somehowthatballwill

windupintheiryardandyou’lljusthavetogoretrieveit.”

SoIwatchedfromthewindow,andeveryfewminutesI’dask,“Now?”andshe’dsay,“Givethema

littlewhilelonger,wouldyou?”

Thenthephonerang.AndtheminuteIwassureshewasgoodandpreoccupied,Ituggedonhersleeve

andasked,“Now?”

Shenoddedandwhispered,“Okay,buttakeiteasy!I’llbeoverthereinaminute.”

Iwastooexcitednottochargeacrossthestreet,butIdidtryveryhardtobecivilizedonceIgottothe

movingvan.Istoodoutsidelookinginforarecord-breakinglengthoftime,whichwashardbecausethere

hewas!Abouthalfwayback!Mynewsure-to-bebestfriend,BryceLoski.

Bryce wasn’t really doing much of anything. He was more hanging back, watching his father move

boxes onto the lift-gate. I remember feeling sorry for Mr. Loski because he looked worn out, moving

boxes all by himself.I also remember thathe and Brycewere wearing matchingturquoise polo shirts,

whichIthoughtwasreallycute.Reallynice.

When I couldn’tstand it any longer, I called, “Hi!” intothe van, which made Bryce jump, and then

quickasacricket,hestartedpushingaboxlikehe’dbeenworkingallalong.

IcouldtellfromthewayBrycewasactingsoguiltythathewassupposedtobemovingboxes,buthe

wassickofit.He’dprobablybeenmovingthingsfordays!Itwaseasytoseethatheneededarest.He

neededsomejuice!Something.

ItwasalsoeasytoseethatMr.Loskiwasn’tabouttolethimquit.Hewasgoingtokeeponmoving

boxesarounduntilhecollapsed,andbythenBrycemightbedead.Deadbeforehe’dhadthechanceto

movein!

Thetragedyofitcatapultedmeintothemovingvan.Ihadtohelp!Ihadtosavehim!

WhenIgottohis sidetohelphim shove a boxforward,thepoor boy was soexhaustedthathe just

movedasideandletmetakeover.Mr.Loskididn’twantmetohelp,butatleastIsavedBryce.I’dbeenin

themovingvanallofthreeminuteswhenhisdadsenthimofftohelphismotherunpackthingsinsidethe

house.

IchasedBryceupthewalkway,andthat’swheneverythingchanged.Yousee,Icaughtuptohimand

grabbedhisarm,tryingtostophimsomaybewecouldplayalittlebeforehegottrappedinside,andthe

nextthingIknowhe’sholdingmyhand,lookingrightintomyeyes.

Myheartstopped.Itjuststoppedbeating.Andforthefirsttimeinmylife,Ihadthatfeeling.Youknow,

liketheworldismovingallaroundyou,allbeneathyou,allinsideyou,andyou’refloating.Floatingin

midair.Andtheonlythingkeepingyoufromdriftingawayistheotherperson’seyes.They’reconnectedto

yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and

twirlsandfallscompletelyaway.

Ialmostgotmyfirstkissthatday.I’msureofit.Butthenhismothercameoutthefrontdoorandhewas

so embarrassed that his cheeks turned completely red, and the next thing you know he’s hiding in the

bathroom.

Iwaswaitingforhimtocomeoutwhenhissister,Lynetta,sawmeinthehallway.Sheseemedbigand

maturetome,andsinceshewantedtoknowwhatwasgoingon,Itoldheralittlebitaboutit.Ishouldn’t

have, though, because she wiggled the bathroom doorknob and started teasing Bryce something fierce.

“Hey,babybrother!”shecalledthroughthedoor.“There’sahotchickoutherewaitingforyou!Whatsa

matter?Afraidshe’sgotcooties?”

Itwassoembarrassing!Iyankedonherarmandtoldhertostopit,butshewouldn’t,sofinallyIjust

left.

IfoundmymotheroutsidetalkingtoMrs.Loski.MomhadgivenherthebeautifullemonBundtcakethat

wassupposedtobeourdessertthatnight.Thepowderedsugarlookedsoftandwhite,andthecakewas

stillwarm,sendingsweetlemonsmellsintotheair.

Mymouthwaswateringjustlookingatit!ButitwasinMrs.Loski’shands,andIknewtherewasno

gettingitback.All I could dowas try toeatup thesmells whileIlistened tothe two of them discuss

grocerystoresandtheweatherforecast.

AfterthatMomandIwenthome.Itwasverystrange.Ihadn’tgottentoplaywithBryceatall.AllI

knewwasthathiseyeswereadizzyingblue,thathehadasisterwhowasnottobetrusted,andthathe’d

almostkissedme.

Ifellasleepthatnightthinkingaboutthekissthatmighthavebeen.Whatdidakissfeellike,anyway?

Somehow I knew it wouldn’t be like the one I got from Mom or Dad at bedtime. The same species,

maybe, butaradicallydifferentbeast,to be sure. Likea wolfandawhippet—onlysciencewould put

themonthesametree.

Lookingbackonthesecondgrade,Iliketothinkitwasatleastpartlyscientificcuriositythatmademe

chaseafterthatkiss,buttobehonest,itwasprobablymorethoseblueeyes.Allthroughthesecondand

thirdgradesIcouldn’tseemtostopmyselffromfollowinghim,fromsittingbyhim,fromjustwantingto

benearhim.

BythefourthgradeI’dlearnedtocontrolmyself.Thesightofhim—thethoughtofhim—stillsentmy

heart humming, but my legs didn’t actually chase after him anymore. I just watched and thought and

dreamed.

TheninthefifthgradeShellyStallscameintothepicture.ShellyStallsisaninny.Awhiny,gossipy,

backstabbing ninny who says one thing to one person and the opposite to another. Now that we’re in

juniorhigh,she’stheundisputeddivaofdrama,butevenbackinelementaryschoolsheknewhowtoput

on a performance. Especially when it came to P.E. I never once saw her run laps or do calisthenics.

Instead,shewouldgointoher“delicate”act,claimingherbodywouldabsolutelycollapsefromthestrain

ifsheranorjumpedorstretched.

Itworked.Everyyear.She’dbringinsomenoteandbesuretoswoonalittlefortheteacherthefirst

fewdaysoftheyear,afterwhichshe’dbeexcusedfromanythingthatrequiredmuscles.Shenevereven

putupherownchairattheendoftheday.Theonlymusclessheexercisedregularlyweretheonesaround

hermouth,andthosesheworkedoutnonstop.IftherewasanOlympiccontestfortalking,ShellyStalls

would sweep the event.Well, she’d at leastwin the gold and silver—onemedal for eachside ofher

mouth.

What bugged me about it was not the fact that she got out of P.E.—who’d want her on their team,

anyway? What bugged me about it was that anyone who bothered to look would know that it wasn’t

asthmaorweakanklesorherbeing“delicate”thatwasstoppingher.Itwasherhair.Shehadmountainsof

it, twisted this way or that, clipped or beaded, braided or swirled. Her ponytails rivaled the ones on

carouselhorses.Andonthedayssheletitallhangdown,she’dsortofshimmyandcuddleinsideitlikeit

wasablanket,sothatpracticallyallyousawofherfacewashernose.Goodluckplayingfour-square

withablanketoveryourhead.

MysolutiontoShellyStallswastoignoreher,whichworkedjustdandyuntilabouthalfwaythroughthe

fifthgradewhenIsawherholdinghandswithBryce.

My Bryce. The one who was still embarrassed over holding my hand two days before the second

grade.Theonewhowasstilltooshytosaymuchmorethanhellotome.

Theonewhowasstillwalkingaroundwithmyfirstkiss.

HowcouldShellyhavewormedherhandintohis?Thatpushylittleprincesshadnobusinesshanging

ontohimlikethat!

Brycelookedoverhisshoulderfromtimetotimeastheywalkedalong,andhewaslookingatme.My

first thought was that he was telling me he was sorry. Then it dawned on me— he needed my help.

Absolutely,that’swhatithadtobe!ShellyStallswastoodelicatetoshakeoff,tooswirlytobepushed

away.She’dunravelandstartsnifflingandoh,howembarrassingthatwouldbeforhim!No,thiswasn’ta

jobaboycoulddogracefully.Thiswasajobforagirl.

Ididn’t evenbother checkingaroundfor other candidates—Ihadher offofhimintwo secondsflat.

Bryce ranaway the minute he was free, butnot Shelly. Oh, no-no-no!She came atme, scratchingand

pullingandtwistinganythingshecouldgetherhandson,tellingmethatBrycewashersandtherewasno

wayshewaslettinghimgo.

Howdelicate.

IwashopingforherdsofteacherstoappearsotheycouldseetherealShellyStallsinaction,butitwas

toolatebythetimeanyonearrivedonthescene.IhadFluffyinaheadlockandherarmtwistedbackina

hammerlock, andno amountofher squawking orscratching wasgoing togetmetounlock her untila

teacherarrived.

Intheend,Shellywenthomeearlywithabadcaseofmussed-uphair,whileItoldmysideofthingsto

the principal. Mrs. Shultzisa sturdy lady who probably secretly appreciatesthe valueof a swiftkick

well placed, and although she told me thatit would be better if I let other people workout their own

dilemmas,shedefinitelyunderstoodaboutShellyStallsandherhairandtoldmeshewasgladI’dhadthe

self-controltodonothingmorethanrestrainher.

Shellywasbackthenextdaywithaheadfullofbraids.Andofcourseshegoteverybodywhispering

aboutme,butIjustignoredthem.Thefactsspokeforthemselves.Brycedidn’tgoanywherenearherfor

therestoftheyear.

That’s not to say that Bryce held my hand after that, but he did start being a little friendlier to me.

Especiallyinthesixthgrade,afterMr.Mertinssatusrightnexttoeachotherinthethirdrowback.

Sittingnext toBryce was nice. He was nice. He’d say Hi, Juli tome every morning, and once in a

whileI’dcatchhimlookingmyway.He’dalwaysblushandgobacktohisownwork,andIcouldn’thelp

butsmile.Hewassoshy.Andsocute!

Wetalkedtoeachothermore,too.EspeciallyafterMr.Mertinsmovedmebehindhim.Mr.Mertinshad

adetentionpolicyaboutspelling,whereifyoumissedmorethansevenoutoftwenty-fivewords,youhad

tospendlunchinsidewithhim,writingyourwordsoverandoverandoveragain.

ThepressureofdetentionmadeBrycepanic.Andeventhoughitbotheredmyconscience,I’dleanin

andwhisperanswerstohim,hopingthatmaybeIcouldspendlunchwithhiminstead.Hishairsmelled

likewatermelon,andhisear-lobeshadfuzz.Soft,blondfuzz.AndIwonderedaboutthat.Howdoesaboy

withsuchblackhairwindupwithblondearfuzz?What’sitdoingthere,anyway?Icheckedmyownear-

lobes in themirror butcouldn’tfindmuchofanythingon them,and Ididn’tspotanyonotherpeople’s

either.

IthoughtaboutaskingMr.Mertinsaboutearlobefuzzwhenwewerediscussingevolutioninscience,

butIdidn’t.Instead,Ispenttheyearwhisperingspellingwords,sniffingwatermelon,andwonderingifI

wasevergoingtogetmykiss.



Bryce:Buddy,Beware!



Seventhgradebroughtchanges,allright,butthebiggestonedidn’thappenatschool—ithappenedat

home.GranddadDuncancametolivewithus.

Atfirstitwaskindofweirdbecausenoneofusreallyknewhim.ExceptforMom,ofcourse.Andeven

thoughshe’sspentthepastyearandahalftryingtoconvinceushe’sagreatguy,fromwhatIcantell,the

thinghelikestodobestisstareoutthefront-roomwindow.There’snotmuchtoseeoutthereexceptthe

Bakers’frontyard,butyoucanfindhimtheredayornight,sittinginthebigeasychairtheymovedinwith

him,staringoutthewindow.

Okay,sohealsoreadsTomClancynovelsandthenewspapersanddoescrosswordpuzzlesandtracks

hisstocks,butthosethingsarealldistractions.Givennoonetojustifyitto,themanwouldstareoutthe

windowuntilhefellasleep.Notthatthere’sanythingwrongwiththat.Itjustseemsso…boring.

MomsayshestareslikethatbecausehemissesGrandma,butthat’snotsomethingGranddadhadever

discussedwithme.Asamatteroffact,heneverdiscussedmuchofanythingwithmeuntilafewmonths

agowhenhereadaboutJuliinthenewspaper.

Now,Juli Baker did not windup on the frontpage oftheMayfieldTimes for being an eighth-grade

Einstein,likeyoumightsuspect.No,myfriend,shegotfront-pagecoveragebecausesherefusedtoclimb

outofasycamoretree.

NotthatIcouldtellasycamorefromamapleorabirchforthatmatter,butJuli,ofcourse,knewwhat

kindoftreeitwasandpassedthatknowledgealongtoeverycreatureinherwake.

Sothistree,thissycamoretree,wasupthehillonavacantlotonCollierStreet,anditwasmassive.

Massiveandugly.Itwastwistedandgnarledandbent,andIkeptexpectingthethingtoblowoverinthe

wind.

OnedaylastyearI’dfinallyhadenoughofheryakkingaboutthatstupidtree.Icamerightoutandtold

herthatitwasnotamagnificentsycamore,itwas,inreality,theugliesttreeknowntoman.Andyouknow

whatshesaid?ShesaidIwasvisuallychallenged.Visuallychallenged!Thisfromthegirlwholivesina

housethat’sthescourgeoftheneighborhood.They’vegotbushesgrowingoverwindows,weedssticking

outallovertheplace,andabarnyard’sworthofanimalsrunningwild.I’mtalkingdogs,cats,chickens,

evensnakes.IsweartoGod,herbrothershaveaboaconstrictorintheirroom.Theydraggedmeinthere

whenIwasabouttenandmademewatchiteatarat.Alive,beady-eyedrat.Theyheldthatrodentupby

itstailandgulp,theboaswalloweditwhole.Thatsnakegavemenightmaresforamonth.

Anyway, normally I wouldn’t care about someone’s yard, but the Bakers’ mess bugged my dad big-

time,andhechanneledhisfrustrationintoouryard.Hesaiditwasourneighborlydutytoshowthemwhat

ayard’ssupposedtolooklike.SowhileMikeandMattarebusyplumpinguptheirboa,I’mhavingto

mowandedgeouryard,thensweepthewalkwaysandgutter,whichisgoingalittleoverboard,ifyouask

me.

Andyou’dthinkJuli’sdad—who’sabig,strong,bricklayingdude—wouldfixtheplaceup,butno.

According to my mom, he spends all his free time painting. His landscapes don’t seem like anything

specialtome,butjudgingbyhispricetags,hethinksquitealotofthem.Weseethemeveryyearatthe

MayfieldCountyFair,andmyparentsalwayssaythesamething:“Theworldwouldhavemorebeautyin

itifhe’dfixuptheyardinstead.”

MomandJuli’smomdotalksome.IthinkmymomfeelssorryforMrs.Baker—shesaysshemarried

adreamer,andbecauseofthat,oneofthetwoofthemwillalwaysbeunhappy.

Whatever. Maybe Juli’s aesthetic sensibilities have been permanently screwed up by her father and

none ofthis isherfault,butJuli hasalways thoughtthatthatsycamoretreewasGod’s gifttoourlittle

corneroftheuniverse.

Backinthethirdandfourthgradessheusedtoclownaroundwithherbrothersinthebranchesorpeel

bigchunksofbarkoffsotheycouldslidedownthecrookinitstrunk.Itseemedliketheywereplayingin

itwhenevermymomtookussomewhereinthecar.Juli’dbeswingingfromthebranches,readytofall

andbreakeveryboneinherbody,whilewewerewaitingatthestoplight,andmymomwouldshakeher

headandsay,“Don’tyoueverclimbthattreelikethat,doyouhearme,Bryce?Ineverwanttoseeyou

doingthat!Youeither,Lynetta.Thatismuchtoodangerous.”

Mysisterwouldrollhereyesandsay,“Asif,”whileI’dslumpbeneaththewindowandprayforthe

lighttochangebeforeJulisquealedmynamefortheworldtohear.

Ididtrytoclimbitonceinthefifthgrade.ItwasthedayafterJulihadrescuedmykitefromitsmutant

toy-eatingfoliage.Sheclimbedmilesuptogetmykite,andwhenshecamedown,shewasactuallyvery

coolaboutit.Shedidn’tholdmykitehostageandstickherlipsoutlikeIwasafraidshemight.Shejust

handeditoverandthenbackedaway.

Iwasrelieved,butIalsofeltlikeaweenie.WhenI’dseenwheremykitewastrapped,Iwassureit

wasagoner.NotJuli.Shescrambledupandgotitdowninnotime.Man,itwasembarrassing.

SoImadeamentalpictureofhowhighshe’dclimbed,andthenextdayIsetofftooutdoherbyatleast

two branches. Imade it past the crook, up a few limbs, and then — justto see how I wasdoing— I

lookeddown.

Mis-take!ItfeltlikeIwasontopoftheEmpireStateBuildingwithoutabungee.Itriedlookingupto

wheremykitehadbeen,butitwashopeless.Iwasindeedatree-climbingweenie.

ThenjuniorhighstartedandmydreamofaJuli-freeexistenceshattered.Ihadtotakethebus,andyou-

know-whodid,too.Therewereabouteightkidsaltogetheratourbusstop,whichcreatedabufferzone,

but it was no comfortzone. Juli always tried tostand beside me, or talk to me, or in some other way

mortifyme.

Andthenshestartedclimbing.Thegirlisintheseventhgrade,andshe’sclimbingatree—way,way

upinatree.Andwhydoesshedoit?Soshecanyelldownatusthatthebusisfive!four!threeblocks

away!Blow-by-blow trafficwatch from a tree—whatevery kidinjuniorhigh feelslikehearingfirst

thinginthemorning.

Shetriedtogetmetocomeuptherewithher,too.“Bryce,comeon!Youwon’tbelievethecolors!It’s

absolutelymagnificent!Bryce,you’vegottocomeuphere!”

Yeah,Icouldjusthearit:“BryceandJulisittinginatree…”WasIevergoingtoleavethesecond

gradebehind?

OnemorningIwasspecificallynotlookingupwhenoutofnowheresheswingsdownfromabranch

andpracticallyknocksmeover.Hearta-ttack!Idroppedmybackpackandwrenchedmyneck,andthat

didit.Irefusedtowaitunderthattreewiththatmaniacmonkeyonthelooseanymore.Istartedleavingthe

houseattheverylastminute.Imadeupmyownwaitingspot,andwhenI’dseethebuspullup,I’dtruck

upthehillandgetonboard.

NoJuli,noproblem.

Andthat,myfriend,tookcareoftherestofseventhgradeandalmostallofeighth,too,untilonedaya

fewmonthsago.That’swhenIheardacommotionupthehillandcouldseesomebigtrucksparkedupon

CollierStreetwherethebuspullsin.ThereweresomemenshoutingstuffupatJuli,whowas,ofcourse,

fivestoriesupinthetree.

Alltheotherkidsstartedtogatherunderthetree,too,andIcouldhearthemtellinghershehadtocome

down.Shewasfine—thatwasobvioustoanyonewithapairofears—butIcouldn’tfigureoutwhat

theywereallarguingabout.

Itruckedupthehill,andasIgotcloserandsawwhatthemenwereholding,Ifiguredoutinahurry

whatwasmakingJulirefusetocomeoutofthetree.

Chainsaws.

Don’tgetmewronghere,okay?Thetreewasanuglymutanttangleofgnarlybranches.Thegirlarguing

withthosemenwasJuli—theworld’speskiest,bossiest,mostknow-it-allfemale.Butallofasudden

mystomachcompletelybailedonme.Julilovedthattree.Stupidasitwas,shelovedthattree,andcutting

itdownwouldbelikecuttingoutherheart.

Everyonetriedtotalkherdown.Evenme.Butshesaidshewasn’tcomingdown,notever,andthenshe

triedtotalkusup.“Bryce,please!Comeupherewithme.Theywon’tcutitdownifwe’realluphere!”

ForasecondIconsideredit.ButthenthebusarrivedandItalkedmyselfoutofit.Itwasn’tmytree,

andeventhoughsheactedlikeitwas,itwasn’tJuli’s,either.



Weboardedthebusandleftherbehind,butschoolwasprettymuchawaste.Icouldn’tseemtostop

thinkingaboutJuli.Wasshestillupinthetree?Weretheygoingtoarresther?

Whenthebusdroppedusoffthatafternoon,Juliwasgoneandsowashalfthetree.Thetopbranches,

theplacemykitehadbeenstuck,herfavoriteperch—theywereallgone.

We watched them work for a little while, the chain saws gunning at full throttle, smoking as they

chewedthroughwood.Thetreelookedlopsidedandnaked,andafterafewminutesIhadtogetoutof

there.Itwaslikewatchingsomeonedismemberabody,andforthefirsttimeinages,Ifeltlikecrying.

Crying.OverastupidtreethatIhated.

Iwenthomeandtriedtoshakeitoff,butIkeptwondering,ShouldIhavegoneupthetreewithher?

Wouldithavedoneanygood?

IthoughtaboutcallingJulitotellherIwassorrythey’dcutitdown,butIdidn’t.Itwould’vebeentoo,

Idon’tknow,weird.

Shedidn’tshowatthebusstopthenextmorninganddidn’tridethebushomethatafternoon,either.

Thenthatnight,rightbeforedinner,mygrandfathersummonedmeintothefrontroom.Hedidn’tcallto

measIwaswalkingby—thatwouldhaveborderedonfriendliness.Whathedidwastalktomymother,

whotalkedtome.“Idon’tknowwhatit’sabout,honey,”shesaid.“Maybehe’sjustreadytogettoknow

youalittlebetter.”

Great.Theman’shadayearandahalftogetacquainted,andhechoosesnowtogettoknowme.ButI

couldn’texactlyblowhimoff.

My grandfather’s a big man with a meaty nose and greased-back salt-and-pepper hair. He lives in

houseslippersandasportscoat,andI’veneverseenawhiskeronhim.Theygrow,butheshavesthemoff

likethreetimesaday.It’sarealrecreationalactivityforhim.

Besideshismeatynose,he’salsogotbigmeatyhands.Isupposeyou’dnoticehishandsregardless,but

whatmakesyourealizejusthowbeefytheyareishisweddingring.Thatthing’snevergoingtocomeoff,

and eventhoughmy mother saysthat’show it should be,Ithinkheoughttogetitcutoff.Anotherfew

poundsandthatring’sgoingtoamputatehisfinger.

WhenIwentintoseehim,thosebighandsofhiswerewoventogether,restingonthenewspaperinhis

lap.Isaid,“Granddad?Youwantedtoseeme?”

“Haveaseat,son.”

Son?Halfthetimehedidn’tseemtoknowwhoIwas,andnowsuddenlyIwas“son”?Isatinthechair

oppositehimandwaited.

“TellmeaboutyourfriendJuliBaker.”

“Juli?She’snotexactlymyfriend…!”

“Whyisthat?”heasked.Calmly.Likehehadpriorknowledge.

Istartedtojustifyit,thenstoppedmyselfandasked,“Whydoyouwanttoknow?”

Heopenedthepaperandpresseddownthecrease,andthat’swhenIrealizedthatJuliBakerhadmade

thefrontpageoftheMayfieldTimes.Therewasahugepictureofher in thetree,surroundedbyafire

brigadeandpolicemen,andthensomesmallerphotosIcouldn’tmakeoutverywell.“CanIseethat?”

Hefoldeditupbutdidn’thanditover.“Whyisn’tsheyourfriend,Bryce?”

“Becauseshe’s…”Ishookmyheadandsaid,“You’dhavetoknowJuli.”

“I’dliketo.”

“What?Why?”

“Becausethegirl’sgotanironbackbone.Whydon’tyouinviteheroversometime?”

“Anironbackbone?Granddad,youdon’tunderstand!Thatgirlisaroyalpain.She’sashow-off,she’s

aknow-it-all,andsheispushybeyondbelief!”

“Isthatso.”

“Yes!That’sabsolutelyso!Andshe’sbeenstalkingmesincethesecondgrade!”

Hefrowned,thenlookedoutthewindowandasked,“They’velivedtherethatlong?”

“Ithinktheywereallbornthere!”

Hefrownedsomemorebeforehelookedbackatmeandsaid,“Agirllikethatdoesn’tlivenextdoorto

everyone,youknow.”

“Luckythem!”

He studied me, longandhard.Isaid,“What?” buthedidn’tflinch.Hejustkeptstaringatme,andI

couldn’ttakeit—Ihadtolookaway.

KeepinmindthatthiswasthefirstrealconversationI’dhadwithmygrandfather.Thiswasthefirst

timehe’dmadetheefforttotalktomeaboutsomethingbesidespassingthesalt.Anddoeshewanttoget

toknowme?No!HewantstoknowaboutJuli!

Icouldn’tjuststandupandleave,eventhoughthat’swhatIfeltlikedoing.SomehowIknewifIleft

likethat,he’dquittalkingtomeatall.Evenaboutsalt.SoIsattherefeelingsortoftortured.Washemad

atme?Howcouldhebemadatme?Ihadn’tdoneanythingwrong!

WhenIlookedup,hewassittingthereholdingoutthenewspapertome.“Readthis,”hesaid.“Without

prejudice.”

Itookit,andwhenhewentbacktolookingoutthewindow,Iknew—I’dbeendismissed.

BythetimeIgotdowntomyroom,Iwasmad.Islammedmybedroomdoorandfloppeddownonthe

bed,andafterfumingaboutmysorryexcuseforagrandfatherforawhile,Ishovedthenewspaperinthe

bottomdrawerofmydesk.LikeIneededtoknowanymoreaboutJuliBaker.

AtdinnermymotheraskedmewhyIwassosulky,andshekeptlookingfrommetomygrandfather.

Granddaddidn’tseemtoneedanysalt,whichwasagoodthingbecauseImighthavethrowntheshakerat

him.

Mysisteranddadwereallbusiness asusual,though.Lynettaateabouttworaisinsoutofhercarrot

salad,thenpeeledtheskinandmeatoffherchickenwingandnibbledgristleoffthebone,whilemyfather

filledupairspacetalkingaboutofficepoliticsandtheneedforashakedowninuppermanagement.

Noonewaslisteningtohim—nooneeverdoeswhenhegetsononeofhisif-I-ran-the-circusjags—

butforonceMomwasn’tevenpretending.Andforonceshewasn’ttryingtoconvinceLynettathatdinner

wasdeliciouseither.ShejustkepteyeingmeandGranddad,tryingtopickuponwhyweweremiffedat

eachother.

Notthathehadanythingtobemiffedatmeabout.WhathadIdonetohim,anyway?Nothing.Nada.But

hewas,Icouldtell.AndIcompletelyavoidedlookingathimuntilabouthalfwaythroughdinner,whenI

sneakedapeek.

He was studying me, all right.And even though it wasn’t a mean stare, or a hard stare, itwas, you

know,firm.Steady.Anditweirdedmeout.Whatwashisdeal?

Ididn’tlookathimagain.Oratmymother.Ijustwentbacktoeatingandpretendedtolistentomydad.

AndthefirstchanceIgot,Iexcusedmyselfandholedupinmyroom.

I was planning to call my friend Garrett like I usually do when I’m bent about something. I even

punchedinhisnumber,butIdon’tknow.Ijusthungup.

Andlaterwhenmymomcamein,IfakedlikeIwassleeping.Ihaven’tdonethatinyears.Thewhole

nightwasweirdlikethat.Ijustwantedtobeleftalone.



Juliwasn’tatthebusstopthenextmorning.OrFridaymorning.Shewasatschool,butyou’dnever

knowitifyoudidn’tactuallylook.Shedidn’twhipherhandthroughtheairtryingtogettheteacherto

call on her or charge through the halls getting to class. She didn’t make unsolicited comments for the

teacher’sedificationorchallengethekidswhotookcutsinthemilkline.Shejustsat.Quiet.

I told myself I should be glad aboutit — it was like she wasn’t even there, andisn’t that what I’d

always wanted? Butstill,I felt bad. Abouthertree, about how shehurried offto eatby herselfin the

libraryatlunch,abouthowhereyeswereredaroundtheedges.Iwantedtotellher,Man,I’msorryabout

yoursycamoretree,butthewordsneverseemedtocomeout.

By the middleofthe nextweek, they’d finished takingdown the tree. They clearedthe lotandeven

triedtopullupthestump,butthatsuckerwouldnotbudge,sotheywoundupgrindingitdownintothe

dirt.

Julistilldidn’tshowatthebusstop,andbytheendoftheweekIlearnedfromGarrettthatshewas

ridingabike.Hesaidhe’dseenheronthesideoftheroadtwicethatweek,puttingthechainbackonthe

derailleurofarustyoldten-speed.

Ifiguredshe’dbeback.ItwasalongrideouttoMayfieldJuniorHigh,andonceshegotoverthetree,

she’dstartridingthebusagain.Ievencaughtmyselflookingforher.Notonthelookout,justlooking.

ThenonedayitrainedandIthoughtforsureshe’dbeupatthebusstop,butno.Garrettsaidhesawher

truckingalongonherbikeinabrightyellowponcho,andinmathInoticedthatherpantswerestillsoaked

fromthekneesdown.

Whenmathletout,Istartedtochaseafterhertotellherthatsheoughttotryridingthebusagain,butI

stoppedmyselfinthenickoftime.WhatwasIthinking?ThatJuliwouldn’ttakealittlefriendlyconcern

andcompletelymisinterpretit?Whoanow,buddy,beware!Bettertojustleavewellenoughalone.

Afterall,thelastthingIneededwasforJuliBakertothinkImissedher.

Juli:TheSycamoreTree



Ilovetowatchmyfatherpaint.Orreally,Ilovetohearhimtalkwhilehepaints.Thewordsalways

come out soft and somehow heavy when he’s brushing on the layers of a landscape. Not sad. Weary,

maybe,butpeaceful.

Myfatherdoesn’thaveastudiooranything,andsincethegarageisstuffedwiththingsthateveryone

thinkstheyneedbutnooneeveruses,hepaintsoutside.

Outsideis where the best landscapes are,onlythey’re nowhere near our house. Sowhat he does is

keepacamerainhistruck.Hisjobasamasontakeshimtolotsofdifferentlocations,andhe’salwayson

thelookoutforagreatsunriseorsunset,orevenjustanicefieldwithsheeporcows.Thenhepicksout

oneofthesnapshots,clipsittohiseasel,andpaints.

Thepaintingscomeoutfine,butI’vealwaysfeltalittlesorryforhim,havingtopaintbeautifulscenes

inourbackyard,whichisnotexactlypicturesque.Itneverwasmuchofayard,butafterIstartedraising

chickens,thingsdidn’texactlyimprove.

Dad doesn’t seem to see the backyard or the chickens when he’s painting, though. It’s not just the

snapshotorthecanvasheseeseither.It’ssomethingmuchbigger.Hegetsthislookinhiseyelikehe’s

transcended the yard, the neighborhood, the world. And as his big, callused hands sweep a tiny brush

againstthecanvas,it’salmostlikehisbodyhasbeenpossessedbysomegracefulspiritualbeing.

WhenIwaslittle,mydadwouldletmesitbesidehimontheporchwhilehepainted,aslongasI’dbe

quiet.I don’t do quiet easily, but Idiscovered that after five or ten minutes withouta peep, he’d start

talking.

I’velearnedalotaboutmydadthatway.Hetoldmeallsortsofstoriesaboutwhathe’ddonewhenhe

wasmyage,andotherthings,too—likehowhegothisfirstjobdeliveringhay,andhowhewishedhe’d

finishedcollege.

When I got a little older, he still talked about himself and his childhood, but he also started asking

questionsaboutme.Whatwerewelearningatschool?WhatbookwasIcurrentlyreading?WhatdidI

thinkaboutthisorthat.

ThenonetimehesurprisedmeandaskedmeaboutBryce.WhywasIsocrazyaboutBryce?

Itoldhimabouthiseyesandhishairandthewayhischeeksblush,butIdon’tthinkIexplaineditvery

wellbecausewhenIwasdoneDadshookhisheadandtoldmeinsoft,heavywordsthatIneededtostart

lookingatthewholelandscape.

I didn’t really know what he meant by that, but it made me want to argue with him. How could he

possiblyunderstandaboutBryce?Hedidn’tknowhim!

Butthiswasnotanarguingspot.Thosewerescatteredthroughoutthehouse,butnotouthere.

Wewerebothquietforarecord-breakingamountoftimebeforehekissedmeontheforeheadandsaid,

“Properlightingiseverything,Julianna.”

Properlighting?Whatwasthatsupposedtomean?Isattherewondering,butIwasafraidthatbyasking

I’d be admittingthatI wasn’tmature enoughto understand,and for some reasonitfelt obvious. LikeI

shouldunderstand.

After that he didn’t talk so much about events as he did about ideas. And the older I got, the more

philosophicalheseemedtoget.Idon’tknowifhereallygotmorephilosophical orifhejustthoughtI

couldhandleitnowthatIwasinthedoubledigits.

Mostlythethingshetalkedaboutfloatedaroundme,butonceinawhilesomethingwouldhappenandI

wouldunderstandexactlywhathehadmeant.“Apaintingismorethanthesumofitsparts,”hewouldtell

me,andthengoontoexplainhowthecowbyitselfisjustacow,andthemeadowbyitselfisjustgrass

andflowers,andthesunpeekingthroughthetreesisjustabeamoflight,butputthemalltogetherand

you’vegotmagic.

Iunderstoodwhathewassaying,butIneverfeltwhathewassayinguntilonedaywhenIwasupinthe

sycamoretree.

Thesycamoretreehadbeenatthetopofthehillforever.Itwasonabigvacantlot,givingshadeinthe

summerandaplaceforbirdstonestinthespring.Ithadabuilt-inslideforus,too.Itstrunkbentupand

aroundinalmostacompletespiral,anditwassomuchfuntoridedown.Mymomtoldmeshethoughtthe

treemusthavebeendamagedasasaplingbutsurvived,andnow,maybeahundredyearslater,itwasstill

there,thebiggesttreeshe’deverseen.“Atestimonytoendurance”iswhatshecalledit.

Ihadalwaysplayedinthetree,butIdidn’tbecomeaseriousclimberuntilthefifthgrade,whenIwent

uptorescueakitethatwasstuckinitsbranches.I’dfirstspottedthekitefloatingfreethroughtheairand

thensawitdive-bombsomewhereupthehillbythesycamoretree.

I’ve flown kites before and I know—sometimes they’re gone forever, and sometimes they’re just

waitinginthemiddleoftheroadforyoutorescuethem.Kitescanbeluckyortheycanbeornery.I’vehad

bothkinds,andaluckykiteisdefinitelyworthchasingafter.

This kitelookedlucky to me. It wasn’t anything fancy, just anold-fashioned diamondwith blue and

yellowstripes.Butitstutteredalonginafriendlyway,andwhenitdive-bombed,itseemedtodosofrom

exhaustionasopposedtospite.Ornerykitesdive-bomboutofspite.Theynevergetexhaustedbecause

theywon’tstayuplongenoughtopoopout.Thirtyfeetuptheyjustsortofsmirkatyouandcrashforthe

funofit.

SoChampandIranuptoCollierStreet,andafterscoutingouttheroad,Champstartedbarkingatthe

sycamoretree.Ilookedupandspottedit,too,flashingblueandyellowthroughthebranches.

Itwasalongwaysup,butIthoughtI’dgiveitashot.Ishinniedupthetrunk,tookashortcutacrossthe

slide,andstartedclimbing.Champkeptagoodeyeonme,barkingmealong,andsoonIwashigherthan

I’deverbeen.Butstillthekiteseemedforeveraway.

ThenbelowmeInoticedBrycecomingaroundthecornerandthroughthevacantlot.AndIcouldtell

fromthewayhewaslookingupthatthiswashiskite.

Whatalucky,luckykitethiswasturningouttobe!

“Canyouclimbthathigh?”hecalleduptome.

“Sure!”Icalledback.Andup,up,upIwent!

Thebrancheswerestrong,withjusttherightamountofintersectionstomakeclimbingeasy.Andthe

higherIgot,themoreamazedIwasbytheview.I’dneverseenaviewlikethat!Itwaslikebeinginan

airplaneabovealltherooftops,abovetheothertrees.Abovetheworld!

ThenIlookeddown.DownatBryce.AndsuddenlyIgotdizzyandweakintheknees.Iwasmilesoff

theground!Bryceshouted,“Canyoureachit?”

I caught my breath and managed to call down, “No problem!” then forced myself to concentrate on

thoseblueandyellowstripes,tofocusonthemandonlythemasIshinniedup,up,up.FinallyItouchedit;

Igraspedit;Ihadthekiteinmyhand!

But the string was tangled in the branches above and I couldn’t seem to pull it free. Bryce called,

“Breakthestring!”andsomehowImanagedtodojustthat.

When I had the kite free, Ineeded a minute to rest. To recover before starting down. So instead of

lookingatthegroundbelowme,Iheldontightandlookedout.Outacrosstherooftops.

That’swhenthefearofbeingupsohighbegantolift,andinitsplacecamethemostamazingfeeling

thatIwasflying.Justsoaringabovetheearth,sailingamongtheclouds.

ThenIbegantonoticehowwonderfulthebreezesmelled.Itsmelledlike…sunshine.Likesunshine

andwildgrassandpomegranatesandrain!Icouldn’tstopbreathingitin,fillingmylungsagainandagain

withthesweetestsmellI’deverknown.

Bryce called up, “Are you stuck?” which brought me down to earth. Carefully I backed up, prized

stripesinhand,andasIworkedmywaydown,IcouldseeBrycecirclingthetree,watchingmetomake

sureIwasokay.

BythetimeIhittheslide,theheadyfeelingI’dhadinthetreewaschangingintotheheadyrealization

thatBryceandIwerealone.

Alone!

MyheartwaspositivelyracingasIheldthekiteouttohim.Butbeforehecouldtakeit,Champnudged

mefrombehindandIcouldfeelhiscold,wetnoseagainstmyskin.

Againstmyskin?!

Igrabbedmyjeansinback,andthat’swhenIrealizedtheseatofmypantswasrippedwideopen.

Brycelaughedalittlenervouslaugh,soIcouldtellheknew,andforonceminewerethecheeksthat

werebeetred.Hetookhiskiteandranoff,leavingmetoinspectthedamage.

Idideventuallygetovertheembarrassmentofmyjeans,butInevergotovertheview.Ikeptthinkingof

whatitfeltliketobeupsohighinthattree.Iwantedtoseeit,tofeelit,again.Andagain.

Itwasn’tlongbeforeIwasn’tafraidofbeingupsohighandfoundthespotthatbecamemyspot.Icould

sitthereforhours,justlookingoutattheworld.Sunsetswereamazing.Somedaysthey’dbepurpleand

pink,somedaysthey’dbeablazingorange,settingfiretocloudsacrossthehorizon.

Itwasonadaylikethatwhenmyfather’snotionofthewholebeinggreaterthanthesumofitsparts

movedfrommyheadtomyheart.Theviewfrommysycamorewasmorethanrooftopsandcloudsand

windandcolorscombined.

Itwasmagic.

AndIstartedmarvelingathowIwasfeelingbothhumbleandmajestic.Howwasthatpossible?How

couldIbesofullofpeaceandfullofwonder?Howcouldthissimpletreemakemefeelsocomplex?So

alive.



IwentupthetreeeverychanceIgot.Andinjuniorhighthatbecamealmosteverydaybecausethebus

toourschoolpicksuponCollierStreet,rightinfrontofthesycamoretree.

AtfirstIjustwantedtoseehowhighIcouldgetbeforethebuspulledup,butbeforelongIwasleaving

thehouseearlysoIcouldgetclearuptomyspottoseethesunrise,orthebirdsflutterabout,orjustthe

otherkidsconvergeonthecurb.

Itriedtoconvincethekidsatthebusstoptoclimbupwithme,evenalittleways,butallofthemsaid

theydidn’twanttogetdirty.Turndownachancetofeelmagicforfearofalittledirt?Icouldn’tbelieve

it.

I’dnevertoldmymotheraboutclimbingthetree.Beingthetrulysensibleadultthatsheis,shewould

havetoldmeitwastoodangerous.Mybrothers,beingbrothers,wouldn’thavecared.

Thatleftmyfather.TheonepersonIknewwouldunderstand.Still,Iwasafraidtotellhim.He’dtell

mymotherand pretty soonthey’dinsistthatIstop.SoIkeptquiet,keptclimbing,andfeltasomewhat

lonelyjoyasIlookedoutovertheworld.

ThenafewmonthsagoIfoundmyselftalkingtothetree.Anentireconversation,justmeandatree.

AndontheclimbdownIfeltlikecrying.Whydidn’tIhavesomeonerealtotalkto?Whydidn’tIhavea

bestfriendlikeeveryoneelseseemedto?Sure,therewerekidsIknewatschool,butnoneofthemwere

closefriends.They’dhavenointerestinclimbingthetree.Insmellingthesunshine.

Thatnightafterdinnermyfatherwentoutsidetopaint.Inthecoldofthenight,undertheglareofthe

porchlight,hewentouttoputthefinishingtouchesonasunrisehe’dbeenworkingon.

Igotmyjacketandwentouttositbesidehim,quietasamouse.

Afterafewminuteshesaid,“What’sonyourmind,sweetheart?”

InallthetimesI’dsatouttherewithhim,he’dneveraskedmethat.Ilookedathimbutcouldn’tseemto

speak.

Hemixedtwohuesoforangetogether,andverysoftlyhesaid,“Talktome.”

Isighedsoheavilyitsurprisedevenme.“Iunderstandwhyyoucomeouthere,Dad.”

Hetriedkiddingme.“Wouldyoumindexplainingittoyourmother?”

“Really,Dad.Iunderstandnowaboutthewholebeinggreaterthanthesumoftheparts.”

Hestoppedmixing.“Youdo?Whathappened?Tellmeaboutit!”

SoItoldhimaboutthesycamoretree.Abouttheviewandthesoundsandthecolorsandthewind,and

howbeingupsohighfeltlikeflying.Feltlikemagic.

He didn’t interrupt me once, and when my confession was through, I looked at him and whispered,

“Wouldyouclimbuptherewithme?”

Hethoughtaboutthisalongtime,thensmiledandsaid,“I’mnotmuchofaclimberanymore,Julianna,

butI’llgiveitashot,sure.Howaboutthisweekend,whenwe’vegotlotsofdaylighttoworkwith?”

“Great!”

IwenttobedsoexcitedthatIdon’tthinkIsleptmorethanfiveminutesthewholenight.Saturdaywas

rightaroundthecorner.Icouldn’twait!

ThenextmorningIracedtothebusstopextraearlyandclimbedthetree.Icaughtthesunrisingthrough

the clouds, sending streaks of fire from one end ofthe world to the other.And I was in the middle of

makingamentallistofallthethingsIwasgoingtoshowmyfatherwhenIheardanoisebelow.

Ilookeddown,andparkedrightbeneathmeweretwotrucks.Bigtrucks.Oneofthemwastowinga

long,emptytrailer,andtheotherhadacherrypickeronit—thekindtheyusetoworkonoverheadpower

linesandtelephonepoles.

Therewerefourmen standingaround talking, drinkingfrom thermoses, and Ialmostcalled down to

them, “I’m sorry, but you can’t park there … . That’s a bus stop!” Butbefore I could, one of the men

reachedintothebackofatruckandstartedunloadingtools.Gloves.Ropes.Achain.Earmuffs.Andthen

chainsaws.Threechainsaws.

AndstillIdidn’tgetit.Ikeptlookingaroundforwhatitwastheycouldpossiblybetheretocutdown.

Thenone ofthe kidswho ridesthe busshowedupand started talkingtothem,and prettysoonhe was

pointingupatme.

Oneofthemencalled,“Hey!Youbettercomedownfromthere.Wegottatakethisthingdown.”

Iheldonto thebranchtight,becausesuddenly itfeltasthoughI mightfall. Imanaged tochokeout,

“Thetree?”

“Yeah,nowcomeondown.”

“Butwhotoldyoutocutitdown?”

“Theowner!”hecalledback.

“Butwhy?”

EvenfromfortyfeetupIcouldseehimscowl.“Becausehe’sgonnabuildhimselfahouse,andhecan’t

verywelldothatwiththistreeintheway.Nowcomeon,girl,we’vegotworktodo!”

Bythattimemostofthekidshadgatheredforthebus.Theyweren’tsayinganythingtome,justlooking

upatmeandturningfromtimetotimetotalktoeachother.ThenBryceappeared,soIknewthebuswas

abouttoarrive.Isearchedacrosstherooftopsandsureenough,thereitwas,lessthanfourblocksaway.

Myheartwascrazywithpanic.Ididn’tknowwhattodo!Icouldn’tleaveandletthemcutdownthe

tree!Icried,“Youcan’tcutitdown!Youjustcan’t!”

Oneofthemenshookhisheadandsaid,“Iamthisclosetocallingthepolice.Youaretrespassingand

obstructingprogressonacontractedjob.Nowareyougoingtocomedownorarewegoingtocutyou

down?”

Thebuswasthreeblocksaway.I’dnevermissedschoolforanyreasonotherthanlegitimateillness,

butIknewinmyheartthatIwasgoingtomissmyride.“You’regoingtohavetocutmedown!”Iyelled.

ThenIhadanidea.They’dnevercutitdownifallofuswereinthetree.They’dhavetolisten!“Hey,

guys!” I called to my classmates. “Get up here with me! They can’t cut it down if we’re all up here!

Marcia!Tony!Bryce!C’mon,youguys,don’tletthemdothis!”

Theyjuststoodthere,staringupatme.

Icouldseethebus,oneblockaway.“Comeon,youguys!Youdon’thavetocomeupthishigh.Justa

littleways.Please!”



Thebusblastedupandpulledtothecurbinfrontofthetrucks,andwhenthedoorsfoldedopen,oneby

onemyclassmatesclimbedonboard.

What happened after thatis a bit of a blur. I remember the neighbors gathering, and the police with

megaphones.Irememberthefirebrigade,andsomeguysayingitwashisblastedtreeandI’ddarnwell

bettergetoutofit.

Somebodytracked down my mother, who cried and pleadedandactednot at all theway a sensible

mothershould,butIwasnotcomingdown.Iwasnotcomingdown.

Thenmyfathercameracingup.Hejumpedoutofhispickuptruck,andaftertalkingwithmymotherfor

afewminutes,hegottheguyinthecherrypickertogivehimaliftuptowhereIwas.Afterthatitwasall

over.Istartedcryingandtriedtogethimtolookoutovertherooftops,buthewouldn’t.Hesaidthatno

viewwasworthhislittlegirl’ssafety.

Hegotmedownandhetookmehome,onlyIcouldn’tstaythere.Icouldn’tstandthesoundofchain

sawsinthedistance.

SoDadtookmewithhimtowork,andwhileheputupablockwall,Isatinhistruckandcried.

Imust’vecriedfortwoweeksstraight.Oh,sure,IwenttoschoolandIfunctionedthebestIcould,butI

didn’tgothereonthebus.Istartedridingmybikeinstead,takingthelongwaysoIwouldn’thavetogoup

toCollierStreet.Uptoapileofsawdustthatusedtobetheearth’smostmagnificentsycamoretree.

ThenoneeveningwhenIwaslockedupinmyroom,myfathercameinwithsomethingunderatowel.I

couldtellitwasapaintingbecausethat’showhetransportstheimportantoneswhenheshowstheminthe

park.Hesatdown,restingthepaintingonthefloorinfrontofhim.“Ialwayslikedthattreeofyours,”he

said.“Evenbeforeyoutoldmeaboutit.”

“Oh,Dad,it’sokay.I’llgetoverit.”

“No,Julianna.No,youwon’t.”

Istartedcrying.“Itwasjustatree….”

“Ineverwantyoutoconvinceyourselfofthat.YouandIbothknowitisn’ttrue.”

“ButDad…”

“Bearwithmeaminute,wouldyou?”Hetookadeepbreath.“Iwantthespiritofthattreetobewith

youalways.Iwantyoutorememberhowyoufeltwhenyouwereupthere.”Hehesitatedamoment,then

handedmethepainting.“SoImadethisforyou.”

I pulled off the towel, and there was my tree. My beautiful, majestic sycamore tree. Through the

brancheshe’dpaintedthefireofsunrise,anditseemedtomeIcouldfeelthewind.Andwayupinthe

treewasatinygirllookingoffintothedistance,hercheeksflushedwithwind.Withjoy.Withmagic.

“Don’tcry,Julianna.Iwantittohelpyou,nothurtyou.”Iwipedthetearsfrommycheeksandgavea

mightysniff.“Thankyou,Daddy,”Ichokedout.“Thankyou.”

Ihungthepaintingacrossthe roomfrom my bed. It’s thefirstthing Iseeeverymorningandthe last

thing Iseeeverynight.And nowthatIcanlook atitwithoutcrying,Iseemore thanthetree andwhat

beingupinitsbranchesmeanttome.

Iseethedaythatmyviewofthingsaroundmestartedchanging.

Bryce:Brawk-Brawk-Brawk!



Eggs scare me. Chickens, too. And buddy, you can laugh at that all you want, but I’m being dead

serioushere.

Itstartedinthesixthgradewitheggs.

Andasnake.

AndtheBakerbrothers.

TheBakerbrothers’namesareMattandMike,butevennowIcan’ttellyouwhichone’swhich.You

neverseeonewithouttheother.Andeventhoughthey’renottwins,theydolookandsoundprettymuch

thesame,andthey’rebothinLynetta’sclass,somaybeoneofthemgotheldback.

AlthoughIcan’texactlyseeateachervoluntarilyhavingeitherofthosemaniacstwoyearsinarow.

Regardless,MattandMikearetheoneswhotaughtmethatsnakeseateggs.AndwhenIsaytheyeat

eggs,I’mtalkingtheyeatthemrawandshell-onwhole.

Iprobablywould’vegonemy entirelifewithoutthislittlebitofreptilian triviaifithadn’tbeenfor

Lynetta.Lynettahadthismajor-leaguethingforSkylerBrown,wholivesaboutthreeblocksdown,and

everychanceshegot,shewentdowntheretohangoutwhilehepracticedthedrums.Well,boom-boom-

whap, what did I care, right? But then Skyler and Juli’s brothers formed a band, which they named

MysteryPisser.

When mymom heard aboutit, she completely wigged out.“What kindof parents would allow their

childrentobeinabandnamedMysteryPisser?It’svile.It’sdisgusting!”

“That’sthewholepoint,Mom,”Lynettatriedtoexplain.“Itdoesn’tmeananything.It’sjusttogetarise

outofoldpeople.”

“Areyoucallingmeold,younglady?Becauseit’scertainlygettingariseoutofme!”

Lynettajustshrugged,implyingthatmymomcoulddrawherownconclusion.

“Go!Gotoyourroom,”mymothersnapped.

“Forwhat?”Lynettasnappedback.“Ididn’tsayathing!”

“Youknowperfectlywellwhatfor.Nowyougointhereandadjustyourattitude,younglady!”

SoLynettagotanotheroneofherteenagetime-outs,andafterthatanytimeLynettawastwominuteslate

coming home for dinner,my mother would messenger me down to Skyler’s house to drag her home. It

mighthavebeenembarrassingforLynetta,butitwasworseforme.Iwasstillinelementaryschool,and

theMysteryPisserguyswereinhighschool.Theywereripeandragged,ragingpowerchordsthroughthe

neighborhood,whileIlookedlikeI’djustgottenbackfromSundayschool.

I’dgetsonervousgoingdowntherethatmyvoicewouldsqueakwhenI’dtellLynettaitwastimefor

dinner.Itliterallysqueaked.ButafterawhilethebanddroppedMysteryfromtheirname,andPisserand

itsentouragegotusedtomeshowingup.Andinsteadofglaringatme,theystartedsayingstufflike,“Hey,

babybrother,comeonin!”“Hey,Brycieboy,wannajam?”

This,then,ishowIwoundupinSkylerBrown’sgarage,surroundedbyhighschoolkids,watchinga

boaconstrictorswalloweggs.SinceI’dalreadyseenitdownaratintheBakerbrothers’bedroom,Pisser

hadlostatleastsomeoftheelementofsurprise.Plus,Ipickeduponthefactthatthey’dbeensavingthis

littleshowtofreakmeout,andIreallydidn’twanttogivethemthesatisfaction.

Thiswasn’teasy,though,becausewatchingasnakeswallowaneggisactuallymuchcreepierthanyou

mightthink.Theboaopeneditsmouthtoanenormoussize,thenjusttooktheegginandglub!Wecould

seeitrolldownitsthroat.

Butthatwasn’tall.Afterthesnakehadglubbeddownthreeeggs,Matt-or-Mikesaid,“So,Brycieboy,

how’shegonnadigestthose?”

IshruggedandtriednottosqueakwhenIanswered,“Stomachacid?”

Heshookhisheadandpretendedtoconfide,“Heneedsatree.Oraleg.”Hegrinnedatme.“Wanna

volunteeryours?”

Ibackedawayalittle.Icouldjustseethatmonstertrytoswallowmylegwholeasanafter-eggchaser.

“N-no!”

Helaughedandpointedattheboaslitheringacrosstheroom.“Aw,toobad.He’sgoingtheotherway.

He’sgonnausethepianoinstead!”

Thepiano!Whatkindofsnakewasthis?Howcouldmysisterstandbeinginthesameroomasthese

dementos?Ilookedather,andeventhoughshewaspretendingtobecoolwiththesnake,IknowLynetta

—shewastotallycreepedoutbyit.

Thesnakewrappeditselfaroundthepianolegaboutthreetimes,andthenMatt-or-Mikeputhishands

upandsaid,“Shhh!Shhh!Everybodyquiet.Heregoes!”

Thesnake stopped moving,thenflexed. And as it flexed,we couldhearthe eggscrunchinsidehim.

“Oh,gross!”thegirlswailed.“Whoa,dude!”theguysallsaid.MikeandMattsmiledateachotherreal

bigandsaid,“Dinnerisserved!”

I tried to act cool about the snake, but the truth is I started having bad dreams about the thing

swallowingeggs.Andrats.Andcats.

Andme.

Thenthereal-lifenightmarebegan.

OnemorningabouttwoweeksaftertheboashowinSkyler’sgarage,Juliappearsonourdoorstep,and

what’sshegotinherhands?Ahalf-cartonofeggs.Shebouncesaroundlikeit’sChristmas,saying,“Hiya,

Bryce!RememberAbbyandBonnieandClydeandDexter?EuniceandFlorence?”

Ijuststaredather.SomehowIrememberedSanta’sreindeeralittledifferentthanthat.

“Youknow…mychickens?TheonesIhatchedforthesciencefairlastyear?”

“Oh,right.HowcouldIforget.”

“They’re laying eggs!” She pushedthecarton into my hands. “Here, take these!They’re for youand

yourfamily.”

“Oh.Uh,thanks,”Isaid,andclosedthedoor.

I used to really like eggs. Especially scrambled, with bacon or sausage. But even without the little

snakeincident,Iknewthatnomatterwhatyoudidtotheseeggs,theywouldtastenothingbutfoultome.

Theseeggscamefromthechickensthathadbeenthechicksthathadhatchedfromtheeggsthathadbeen

incubatedbyJuliBakerforourfifth-gradesciencefair.

ItwasclassicJuli.Shetotallydominatedthefair,andgetthis—herprojectwasallaboutwatching

eggs.Myfriend, there isnota lotofaction toreportonwhenyou’re incubating eggs.You’ve gotyour

light,you’vegotyourcontainer,you’vegotsomeshreddednewspaper,andthat’sit.You’redone.

Juli,though,managedtowriteaninch-thickreport,plusshemadediagramsandcharts—I’mtalking

linechartsandbarchartsandpiecharts—abouttheactivityofeggs.Eggs!

Shealsomanagedtotimetheeggssothatthey’dhatchthenightofthefair.Howdoesapersondothat?

Here I’ve got a live-action erupting volcano thatI’ve worked pretty stinking hard on, and all anybody

caresaboutisJuli’schickspeckingoutoftheirshells.Ievenwentovertotakealookformyself,and—

I’mbeingcompletelyobjectivehere—itwasboring.Theypeckedforaboutfiveseconds,thenjustlay

thereforfiveminutes.

I got to hear Juli jabber away tothe judges, too.She had a pointer — can you believe that? Not a

pencil,anactualretractablepointer,soshecouldreachacrossherincubatorandtaponthischartorthat

diagramassheexplainedtheexcitementofwatchingeggsgrowfortwenty-onedays.Theonlythingshe

could’vedonetobemoreoverboardwasputonachickencostume,andbuddy,I’mconvinced—ifshe’d

thoughtofit,shewouldhavedoneit.

Buthey—Iwasoverit.ItwasjustJulibeingJuli,right?ButallofasuddenthereIamayearlater,

holdingacartonofhome-growneggs.AndI’mhavingahardtimenotgettingannoyedalloveragainabout

her stupid blue-ribbon project when my mother leans out from the hallway and says, “Who was that,

honey?Whathaveyougotthere?Eggs?”

Icouldtellbythelookonherfacethatshewashottoscramble.“Yeah,”Isaid,andhandedthemtoher.

“ButI’mhavingcereal.”

Sheopenedthecarton,thencloseditwithasmile.“Hownice!”shesaid.“Whobroughtthemover?”

“Juli.Shegrewthem.”

“Grewthem?”

“Well,herchickensdid.”

“Oh?” Her smile started falling as she opened the carton again. “Is that so. I didn’t know she

had…chickens.”

“Remember?YouandDadspentanhourwatchingthemhatchatlastyear’ssciencefair?”

“Well,howdoweknowthere’renot…chicksinsidetheseeggs?”

Ishrugged.“LikeIsaid,I’mhavingcereal.”

Weallhadcereal,butwhatwetalkedaboutwereeggs.Mydadthoughtthey’dbejustfine—he’dhad

farm-fresheggswhenhewasakidandsaidtheyweredelicious.Mymother,though,couldn’tgetpastthe

idea thatshe mightbecracking opena deadchick,and prettysoondiscussionturned tothe role ofthe

rooster—somethingmeandmyCheerioscould’vedonewithout.

Finally Lynetta said, “If they had a rooster, don’t you think we’d know? Don’t you think the whole

neighborhoodwouldknow?”

Hmmm,weallsaid,goodpoint.Butthenmymompipesupwith,“Maybetheygotitde-yodeled.You

know—liketheyde-barkdogs?”

“Ade-yodeledrooster,”mydadsays,likeit’sthemostridiculousthinghe’severheard.Thenhelooks

atmymomandrealizesthathe’dbewaybetteroffgoingalongwithherde-yodeledideathanmakingfun

ofher.“Hmmm,”hesays,“I’veneverheardofsuchathing,butmaybeso.”

Lynettashrugsandsaystomymom,“Sojustaskthem,whydon’tyou.CallupMrs.Bakerandaskher.”

“Oh,”mymomsays.“Well,I’dhatetocallhereggsintoquestion.Itdoesn’tseemverypolite,now,

doesit?”

“JustaskMattorMike,”IsaytoLynetta.

Shescowlsatmeandhisses,“Shutup.”

“What?What’dIdonow?”

“Haven’tyounoticedIhaven’tbeengoingdownthere,youidiot?”

“Lynetta!”mymomsays.Likethisisthefirsttimeshe’sheardmysistertalktomeorsomething.

“Well,it’strue!Howcanhenothavenoticed?”

“Iwasgoingtoaskyouaboutthat,honey.Didsomethinghappen?”

Lynettastandsupandshovesherchairin.“Likeyoucare,”shesnaps,andchargesdowntoherroom.

“Oh,boy,”mydadsays.

Momsays,“Excuseme,”andfollowsLynettadownthehall.

Whenmymother’sgone,mydadsays,“So,son,whydon’tyoujustaskJuli?”

“Dad!”

“It’sjustalittlequestion,Bryce.Noharm,nofoul.”

“Butit’llgetmeahalf-houranswer!”

Hestudiesmeforaminute,thensays,“Noboyshouldbethisafraidofagirl.”

“I’mnotafraidofher…!”

“Ithinkyouare.”

“Dad!”

“Seriously,son.Iwantyoutogetusananswer.Conqueryourfearandgetusananswer.”

“Towhetherornottheyhavearooster?”

“That’sright.”Hegetsupandclearshiscerealbowl,saying,“I’vegottogettoworkandyou’vegotto

gettoschool.I’llexpectareporttonight.”

Great.Justgreat. The day was doomed before ithad started. But then atschool when I toldGarrett

aboutwhathad happened, he just shrugged and said, “Well, she lives right across the streetfrom you,

right?”

“Yeah,so?”

“Sojustgolookoverthefence.”

“Youmeanspy?”

“Sure.”

“But…howcanItellifoneofthem’saroosterornot?”

“Roostersare…Idon’tknow…bigger.Andtheyhavemorefeathers.”

“Feathers?LikeI’vegottogoandcountfeathers?”

“No,stupid!Mymomsaysthatthemale’salwaysbrighter.”Thenhelaughsandsays,“Althoughinyour

caseI’mnotsosure.”

“Thanks.Youaregivingmebig-timehelphere,buddy.Ireallyappreciateit.”

“Look, a rooster’s going to be bigger and have brighter feathers. You know, those long ones in the

back?They’reredderorblackerorwhatever.Anddon’troostershavesomerubberyredstuffgrowingoff

thetopoftheirhead?Andsomeofftheirneck,too?Yeah,therooster’sgotallsortsofrubberyredstuff

allarounditsface.”

“Soyou’resayingI’msupposedtolookoverthefenceforbigfeathersandrubberyredstuff.”

“Well,cometothinkofit,chickenshavethatrubberyredstuff,too.Justnotasmuchofit.”

Irolledmyeyesathimandwasabouttosay,Forgetit,I’lljustaskJuli,butthenhesays,“I’llcome

withyouifyouwant.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,dude.Seriously.”

Andthat,myfriend,ishowIwoundupspyingovertheBakers’backfencewithGarrettAndersonat

three-thirtythatafternoon.Notmychoiceofcovertoperations,butanecessaryoneinordertoreportback

tomydadthatnightatdinner.

Wegottherefast,too.ThebellrangandwebasicallychargedoffcampusbecauseIfiguredifwegotto

theBakers’quickenough,wecouldlookandleavebeforeJuliwasanywherenearherhouse.Wedidn’t

evendropoffourbackpacks.Wewentstraightdownthealleyandstartedspying.

It’snotreallynecessarytolookovertheBakers’fence.Youcanseealmostaswelllookingthroughit.

But Garrett keptsticking hisheadup,soIfigured Ishouldtoo,althoughintheback ofmymind Iwas

awarethatGarrettdidn’thavetoliveinthisneighborhood—Idid.

The backyard was a mess. Big surprise. The bushes were out of control, there was some kind of

hodgepodgewood-and-wirecoopofftooneside,andtheyardwasn’tgrass,itwashighlyfertilizeddirt.

Garrett was the first to notice their dog, sacked out on the patio between two sorry-looking folding

chairs.Hepointsathimandsays,“Youthinkhe’sgoingtogiveustrouble?”

“We’renotgoingtobeherelongenoughtogetintrouble!Wherearethosestupidchickens?”

“Probablyinthecoop,”hesays,thenpicksuparockandthrowsitatthemessofplywoodandchicken

wire.

Atfirstallwehearisabunchoffeathersflapping,butthenoneofthebirdscomesflutteringout.Not

veryfar,butenoughsowecanseeit’sgotfeathersandrubberyredstuff.

“So?”Iaskhim.“Isthatarooster?”

Heshrugs.“Lookslikeachickentome.”

“Howcanyoutell?”

Heshrugsagain.“Justdoes.”

Wewatchitscratchingatthedirtforaminute,andthenIask,“What’sahen,anyway?”

“Ahen?”

“Yeah.Yougotroosters,yougotchickens,andthenthere’shens.What’sahen?”

“It’soneofthose,”hesays,pointingintotheBakers’backyard.

“Thenwhat’sachicken?”

HelooksatmelikeI’mcrazy.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”

“Chickens!What’sachicken?”

Hetakesastepbackfrommeandsays,“Brycieboy,youarelosin’it.That’sachicken!”Hestoops

downtopickupanotherrock,andhe’sjustabouttoletitflywhenthesliding-glassdoortothebackpatio

opensupandJulistepsoutside.

Webothduck.Andaswe’recheckingheroutthroughthefence,Isay,“Whendidshegethome?”

Garrettgrumbles,“Whileyouwerelosingitaboutchickens.”Thenhewhispers,“Buthey,this’llwork

great.She’sgotabasket,right?She’sprobablycomingouttocollecteggs.”

Firstshehadtogetallmushywiththatmangymuttofhers.Shegotdownandnuzzledandruffledand

pattedandhugged,tellinghimwhatagoodboyhewas.Andwhenshefinallylethimgobacktosleep,she

hadtostopandcooatthebirdGarretthadscaredout,andthenshestartedsinging.Singing.Atthetopof

herlungs,shegoes,“I’vegotsunshineonacloudyday.Whenit’scoldoutsi-ye-yide,I’vegotthemonth

ofMay.Iguessyou’dsay,whatcanmakemefeelthisway?Mygirls.Talkin’’boutmylittlegir-ur-

rls…”Shelooksinsidethecoopandcoos,“Hello,Flo!Goodafternoon,Bonnie!Comeonout,punkin!”

Thecoopwasn’tbigenoughforhertowalkin.Itwasmorelikeaminilean-toshackthatevenherdog

wouldhavetroublecrawlingin.DoesthatstopJuliBaker?No.Shegetsdownonherhandsandknees

anddivesrightin.Chickenscomesquawkingandflappingout,andprettysoontheyard’sfullofbirds,and

allwecanseeofJuliisherpoop-coveredshoes.

That’snot allwe canhear,though.She’swarbling insidethat coop, going, “I don’t needmoney,no

fortuneorfaaa-ya-yame.Igotalltheriches,baby,anyonecanclaim.Well,Iguessyou’dsay,whatcan

makemefeelthisway?Mygirls.Talkin’’boutmylittlegir-ur-rls,mygirls…”

AtthispointIwasn’tcheckingthechickensoutforrubberyredstufforfeathers.Iwaslookingatthe

bottomofJuliBaker’sfeet,wonderinghowintheworldapersoncouldbesohappytunnelingthrougha

dilapidatedchickencoopwithpoopstuckalloverhershoes.

Garrettgotmebackontrack.“They’reallchickens,”hesays.“Lookat’em.”

Iquit checking outJuli’s shoes and startedchecking out birds. The first thing Idid wascountthem.

One-two-three-four-five-six.Allaccountedfor.Afterall,howcouldanyoneforgetshe’dhatchedsix?It

wastheall-timeschoolrecord—everyoneinthecountyhadheardaboutthat.

ButIwasnotreallysurehowtoaskGarrettaboutwhathehadsaid.Yeah,theywereallchickens,but

what did that mean? I sure didn’t want him coming down on me again, but it still didn’t make sense.

FinallyIaskedhim,“Youmeanthere’snorooster?”

“Correctomundo.”

“Howcanyoutell?”

Heshrugged.“Roostersstrut.”

“Strut.”

“That’sright.Andlook—noneofthemhavelongfeathers.Orverymuchofthatrubberyredstuff.”He

nodded.“Yeah.They’redefinitelyallchickens.”



Thatnightmyfathergotrighttothepoint.“So,son,missionaccomplished?”heaskedashestabbed

intoamountainoffettuccineandwhirledhisforkaround.

Iattackedmynoodlestooandgavehimasmile.“Uhhuh,”IsaidasIsatuptalltodeliverthenews.

“They’reallchickens.”

Theturningofhisforkcametoagrindinghalt.“And…?”

Icouldtellsomethingwaswrong,butIdidn’tknowwhat.Itriedtokeepthesmileplasteredonmyface

asIsaid,“Andwhat?”

Herestedhisforkandstaredatme.“Isthatwhatshesaid?‘They’reallchickens’?”

“Uh,notexactly.”

“Thenexactlywhatdidshesay?”

“Uh…shedidn’texactlysayanything.”

“Meaning?”

“MeaningIwentoverthereandtookalookformyself.”Itriedveryhardtosoundlikethiswasamajor

accomplishment,buthewasn’tbuying.

“Youdidn’taskher?”

“I didn’t have to. Garrett knows a lot about chickens, and we went over there and found out for

ourselves.”

LynettacamebackfromrinsingtheRomanosauceoffhersevenandahalfnoodles,thenreachedforthe

saltandscowledatme,saying,“You’rethechicken.”

“Lynetta!”mymothersaid.“Benice.”

Lynettastoppedshakingthesalt.“Mother,hespied.Yougetit?Hewentoverthereandlookedoverthe

fence.Areyousayingyou’reokaywiththat?”

Mymomturnedtome.“Bryce?Isthattrue?”

Everyonewasstaringatmenow,andIfeltlikeIhadtosaveface.“What’sthebigdeal?Youtoldmeto

findoutaboutherchickens,andIfoundoutaboutherchickens!”

“Brawk-brawk-brawk!”mysisterwhispered.

Myfatherstillwasn’teating.“Andwhatyoufoundout,”hesaid,likehewasmeasuringeveryword,

“wasthatthey’reall…chickens.”

“Right.”

Hesighed,thentookthatbiteofnoodlesandcheweditforthelongesttime.

ItfeltlikeIwassinkingfast,butIcouldn’tfigureoutwhy.SoItriedtobailoutwith,“Andyouguys

cangoaheadandeatthoseeggs,butthere’snowayI’mgoingtotouchthem,sodon’tevenask.”

Mymother’slookingbackandforthfrommydadtomewhilesheeatshersalad,andIcantellshe’s

waitingforhimtoaddressmyadventureasaneighborhoodoperative.Butsincehe’snotsayinganything,

sheclearsherthroatandsays,“Why’sthat?”

“Becausethere’s…well,there’s…Idon’tknowhowtosaythisnicely.”

“Justsayit,”myfathersnaps.

“Well,there’s,youknow,excrementeverywhere.”

“Oh,gross!”mysistersays,throwingdownherfork.

“Youmeanchickendroppings?”mymotherasks.

“Yeah.There’snotevenalawn.It’salldirtand,uh,youknow,chickenturds.Thechickenswalkinit

andpeckthroughitand…”

“Oh,gross!”Lynettawails.

“Well,it’strue!”

Lynettastandsupandsays,“Youexpectmetoeatafterthis?”andstalksoutoftheroom.

“Lynetta!Youhavetoeatsomething,”mymothercallsafterher.

“No,Idon’t!”sheshoutsback;thenasecondlatershesticksherheadbackintothediningroomand

says, “And don’t expect me to eat any of those eggs either, Mother. Does the word salmonella mean

anythingtoyou?”

Lynetta takes off downthe hall and mymother says, “Salmonella?” She turns tomy father. “Doyou

supposetheycouldhavesalmonella?”

“Idon’tknow,Patsy.I’mmoreconcernedthatoursonisacoward.”

“Acoward!Rick,please.Bryceisnosuchthing.He’sawonderfulchildwho’s—”

“Who’safraidofagirl.”

“Dad,I’mnotafraidofher,shejustbugsme!”

“Why?”

“Youknowwhy!Shebugsyou,too.She’soverthetopabouteverything!”

“Bryce,Iaskedyoutoconqueryourfear,butallyoudidwasgiveintoit.Ifyouwereinlovewithher,

thatwouldbeonething.Loveissomethingtobeafraidof,butthis,thisisembarrassing.Soshetalkstoo

much,soshe’stooenthusedabouteverylittlething,sowhat?Getin,getyourquestionanswered,andget

out.Standuptoher,forcryin’outloud!”

“Rick…,”mymomwassaying,“Rick,calmdown.Hedidfindoutwhatyouaskedhimto—”

“No,hedidn’t!”

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Hetellsmethey’reallchickens!Ofcoursethey’reallchickens!Thequestionishowmanyarehens,

andhowmanyareroosters.”

Icouldalmostheartheclickinmybrain,andman,Ifeltlikeacompletedoofus.Nowonderhewas

disgusted with me. I was an idiot! They were all chickens … du-uh! Garrett acted like he was some

expertonchickens,andhedidn’tknowdiddly-squat!WhyhadIlistenedtohim?

Butitwastoolate.MydadwasconvincedIwasacoward,andtogetmeoverit,hedecidedthatwhat

IshoulddowastakethecartonofeggsbacktotheBakersandtellthemwedidn’teateggs,orthatwe

wereallergictothem,orsomething.

Thenmymombuttsinwith,“Whatareyouteachinghimhere,Rick?Noneofthatistrue.Ifhereturns

them,shouldn’thetellthemthetruth?”

“What,thatyou’reafraidofsalmonellapoisoning?”

“Me?Aren’tyoualittleconcerned,too?”

“Patsy,that’snotthepoint.Thepointis,Iwillnothaveacowardforason!”

“Butteachinghimtolie?”

“Fine.Thenjustthrowthemaway.ButfromnowonIexpectyoutolookthatlittletigersquareinthe

eye,youhearme?”

“Yes,sir.”

“Okay,then.”

I was off the hook for all of about eight days. Then there she was again, at seven in the morning,

bouncingupanddownonourporchwitheggsinherhands.“Hi,Bryce!Hereyougo.”

Itriedtolookhersquareintheeyeandtellher,Nothanks,butshewassodarnedhappy,andIwasn’t

reallyawakeenoughtotacklethetiger.Shewounduppushinganothercartonintomyhands,andIwound

upditchingtheminthekitchentrashbeforemyfathersatdowntobreakfast.

This went on for two years. Two years! And it gotto a pointwhere it was justpart ofmy morning

routine.I’dbeonthelookoutforJulisoIcouldwhipthedooropenbeforeshehadthechancetoknockor

ringthebell,andthenI’dburytheeggsinthetrashbeforemydadshowedup.



ThencamethedayIblewit.Juli’dactuallybeenmakingherselfprettyscarcebecauseitwasaround

thetimethey’dtakenthesycamoretreedown,butsuddenlyonemorningshewasbackonourdoorstep,

deliveringeggs.Itookthem,asusual,andIwenttochuckthem,asusual.Butthekitchentrashwassofull

thattherewasn’tanyroomforthecarton,soIputitontop,pickedupthetrash,andbeatitoutthefront

doortoemptyeverythingintothegarbagecanoutside.

Well,guesswho’sjuststandingtherelikeastatueonmyporch?

TheEggChick.

Iaboutspilledthetrashallovertheporch.“Whatareyoustilldoinghere?”Iaskedher.

“I…Idon’tknow.Iwasjust…thinking.”

“Aboutwhat?”Iwasdesperate.Ineededadistraction.Somewayaroundherwiththisgarbagebefore

shenoticedwhatwassittingrightthereontop.

Shelookedawaylikeshewasembarrassed.JuliBakerembarrassed?Ididn’tthinkitwaspossible.

Whatever.Thegoldenopportunitytowhipasoggymagazineovertheeggcartonhadpresenteditself,

andbuddy,Itookit.ThenItriedtomakeafastbreakforthegarbagecaninthesideyard,onlyshebody-

blockedme.Seriously.Shesteppedrightinmywayandputherarmsoutlikeshe’sguardingthegoal.

Shechasedmeandblockedmeagain.“Whathappened?”shewantstoknow.“Didtheybreak?”

Perfect.Whyhadn’tIthoughtofthat?“Yeah,Juli,”Itoldher.“AndI’mrealsorryaboutthat.”Butwhat

I’mthinkingis,Please,God,ohplease,God,letmemakeittothegarbagecan.

Godmust’vebeensleepingin.Julitackledthetrashandpulledoutherpreciouslittlecartonofeggs,

andshecouldtellrightoffthattheyweren’tbroken.Theyweren’tevencracked.

ShestoodfrozenwiththeeggsinherhandswhileIdumpedtherestofthetrash.“Whydidyouthrow

themout?”sheasked,buthervoicedidn’tsoundlikeJuliBaker’svoice.Itwasquiet.Andshaky.

SoItoldherwewereafraidofsalmonellapoisoningbecauseheryardwasamessandthatwewere

justtryingtospareherfeelings.Itoldittoherlikewewererightandshewaswrong,butIfeltlikeajerk.

Acompletecluck-facedjerk.

Thenshetellsmethatacoupleofneighborshavebeenbuyingeggsoffher.Buyingthem.AndwhileI’m

comingtogripswiththisincrediblebitofnews,shewhipsouthermentalcalculator.“DoyourealizeI’ve

lostoverahundreddollarsgivingtheseeggstoyou?”Thensheracesacrossthestreetinafloodoftears.

AsmuchasItriedtotellmyselfthatIhadn’taskedherfortheeggs—Ihadn’tsaidwewantedthemor

neededthemorlikedthem—thefactwas,I’dneverseenJulicrybefore.Notwhenshe’dbrokenherarm

inP.E.,notwhenshe’dbeenteasedatschoolorditchedbyherbrothers.Notevenwhenthey’dcutdown

thesycamoretree.I’mprettysureshecriedthen,butIdidn’tactuallyseeit.Tome,JuliBakerhadalways

beentootoughtocry.

Iwentdowntomyroomtopackmystuffforschool,feelinglikethebiggestjerktoeverhittheplanet.

I’dbeensneakingaroundthrowingouteggsforovertwoyears,avoidingher,avoidingmyfather—what

didthatmakeme?Whyhadn’tIjuststoodupandsaid,Nothanks,don’twant’em,don’tneed’em,don’t

like’em….Givethemtothesnake,whydon’tyou?Something!

WasIreallyafraidofhurtingherfeelings?

OrwasIafraidofher?

Juli:TheEggs



Aftertheycutdownthesycamoretree,itseemedlikeeverythingelsefellapart,too.Champdied.And

thenIfoundoutabouttheeggs.ItwasChamp’stimetogo,andeventhoughIstillmisshim,Ithinkit’s

beeneasierformetodealwithhisdeaththanithasbeenformetodealwiththetruthabouttheeggs.I

stillcannotbelieveitabouttheeggs.

Theeggscamebeforethechickensinourcase,butthedogcamebeforethemboth.OnenightwhenI

wasaboutsixyearsold,Dadcamehomefromworkwithafull-growndogtieddowninthebackofhis

truck.Someonehadhititinthemiddleofanintersection,andDadhadstoppedtoseehowbadlyitwas

hurt. Then he noticed that the poor thing was skinny as a rail and didn’t have any tags. “Starving and

completelydisoriented,”hetoldmymother.“Canyouimaginesomeoneabandoningtheirdoglikethat?”

The whole family had converged on the front porch, and I could hardly contain myself. A dog! A

wonderful,happy,pantydog!IrealizenowthatChampwasnevermuchofalooker,butwhenyou’resix,

anydog—nomatterhowmangy—isaglorious,huggablecreature.

Helookedprettygoodtomybrothers,too,butfromthewaymymother’sfacewaspinched,Icouldtell

shewasthinking,Abandonthisdog?Oh,Icanseeit.Icandefinitelyseeit.Whatshesaid,though,was

simply,“Thereisnoroomforthatanimalinthishouse.”

“Trina,”mydadsaid,“it’snotamatterofownership.It’samatterofcompassion.”

“You’renotspringingitonmeasa…apet,then?”

“Thatisdefinitelynotmyintention.”

“Well,thenwhatdoyouintendtodo?”

“Givehimadecentmeal,abath…thenmaybewe’llplaceanadandfindhimahome.”

Sheeyedhimfromacrossthethreshold.“There’llbeno‘maybe’aboutit.”

Mybrotherssaid,“Wedon’tgettokeephim?”

“That’sright.”

“ButMo-om,”theymoaned.

“It’snotopentodiscussion,”shesaid.“Hegetsabath,hegetsameal,hegetsanadinthepaper.”

MyfatherputonearmaroundMatt’sshoulderandtheotheraroundMike’s.“Someday,boys,we’llget

apuppy.”

Mymotherwasalreadyheadingbackinside,butoverhershouldercame,“Notuntilyoulearntokeep

yourroomneat,boys!”

Bytheendoftheweek,thedogwasnamedChamp.Bytheendofthenextweek,he’dmadeitfromthe

backyardintothekitchenarea.Andnottoolongafterthat,hewasallmovedin.Itseemednobodywanted

afull-growndogwithahappybark.Nobodybutfour-fifthsoftheBakerfamily,anyway.

Thenmymotherstartednoticinganodor.Amysteriousodorofindeterminateorigin.Wealladmitted

wesmelledit,too,butwheremymotherwasconvinceditwasEaudeChamp,wedisagreed.Shehadus

bathinghimsooftenthatitcouldn’tpossiblybehim.Weeachsniffedhimoutprettygoodandhesmelled

perfectlyrosy.

MypersonalsuspicionwasthatMattandMikeweretheonesnotbathingenough,butIdidn’twantto

getcloseenoughtosniffthem.Andsinceourcampwasdividedonjustwhotheculpritorculpritswere,

the odor was dubbed the Mystery Smell. Whole dinnertime discussions revolved around the Mystery

Smell,whichmybrothersfoundamusingandmymotherdidnot.

Thenonedaymymothercrackedthecase.AndshemighthavecrackedChamp’sskullaswellifmy

dadhadn’tcometotherescueandshooedhimoutside.

Momwasfuming.“Itoldyouitwashim.TheMysterySmellcomesfromtheMysteryPisser!Didyou

seethat?Didyouseethat?Hejustsquirtedontheendtable!”

MyfatherracedwitharollofpapertowelstowhereChamphadbeen,andsaid,“Where?Whereis

it?”

Allofthreedropsweredrippingdownthetableleg.“There,”mymothersaid,pointingashakyfinger

atthewetness.“There!”

Dadwipeditup,thencheckedthecarpetandsaid,“Itwasbarelyadrop.”

“Exactly!” my mother said with her hands on her hips. “Which is why I’ve never been able to find

anything.Thatdogstaysoutsidefromnowon.Doyouhearme?Heisnolongerallowedinthishouse!”

“Howaboutthegarage?”Iasked.“Canhesleepinthere?”

“Andhavehimtageverythingthat’soutthere?No!”

MikeandMattweregrinningateachother.“MysteryPisser!Thatcouldbethenameforourband!”

“Yeah!Cool!”

“Band?” my mother asked. “Wait a minute, what band?” But they were already flying down to their

room,laughingaboutthepossibilitiesforalogo.

MyfatherandIspenttherestofthedaysniffingoutanddestroyingcriminalevidence.Mydaduseda

spraybottleofammonia;IfollowedupwithLysol.Wedidtrytorecruitmybrothers,buttheywoundup

getting into a spray-bottle fight, which got them locked in their room, which, of course, was fine with

them.

SoChampbecameanoutsidedog,andhemighthavebeenouronlypeteverifithadn’tbeenformy

fifth-gradesciencefair.

Everyone around me had great project ideas, but I couldn’t seem to come up with one. Then our

teacher,Mrs.Brubeck,tookmeasideandtoldmeaboutafriendofherswhohadchickens,andhowshe

couldgetmeafertilizedeggformyproject.

“ButIdon’tknowanythingabouthatchinganegg,”Itoldher.

She smiled and put her arm around my shoulders. “You don’t have to be an immediate expert at

everything,Juli.Theideahereistolearnsomethingnew.”

“Butwhatifitdies?”

“Thenitdies.Documentyourworkscientificallyandyou’llstillgetanA,ifthat’swhatyou’reworried

about.”

An A?Beingresponsible forthedeath of a baby chick—that’swhat I was worried about.Suddenly

there was real appeal in building a volcanoor making my own neoprene or demonstrating the various

scientificapplicationsofgearratios.

Buttheballwasinmotion,andMrs.Brubeckwouldhavenomorediscussionaboutit.ShepulledThe

Beginner’s Guide to Raising Chickens from her bookshelf and said, “Read the section on artificial

incubationandsetyourselfuptonight.I’llgetyouaneggtomorrow.”

“But…”

“Don’tworrysomuch,Juli,”shesaid.“Wedothiseveryyear,andit’salwaysoneofthebestprojects

atthefair.”

Isaid,“But…,”butshewasgone.Offtoputanendtosomeotherstudent’sbattlewithindecision.

ThatnightIwasmoreworriedthanever.I’dreadthechapteronincubationatleastfourtimesandwas

still confused about where to start. I didn’t happen to have an old aquarium lying around! We didn’t

happentohaveanincubationthermometer!Wouldadeep-frymodelwork?

Iwassupposedtocontrolhumidity,too,orhorriblethingswouldhappentothechick.Toodryandthe

chickcouldn’tpeckout;toowetanditwoulddieofmushychickdisease.Mushychickdisease?!

Mymother,beingthesensiblepersonthatsheis,toldmetotellMrs.BrubeckthatIsimplywouldn’tbe

hatchingachick.“Haveyouconsideredgrowingbeans?”sheaskedme.

Myfather,however,understoodthatyoucan’trefusetodoyourteacher’sassignment,andhepromised

tohelp.“Anincubator’snotdifficulttobuild.We’llmakeoneafterdinner.”

How my fatherknows exactly where thingsare inour garage isone ofthe wondersofthe universe.

Howheknewaboutincubators,however,wasrevealedtomewhilehewasdrillingaone-inchholeinan

old scrap of Plexiglas. “I raised a duck from an egg when I was in high school.” He grinned at me.

“Sciencefairproject.”

“Aduck?”

“Yes,buttheprincipleisthesameforallpoultry.Keepthetemperatureconstantandthehumidityright,

turntheeggseveraltimesaday,andinafewweeksyou’llhaveyourselfalittlepeeper.”

Hehandedmealightbulbandanextensioncordwithasocketattached.“Fastenthisthroughtheholein

thePlexiglas.I’llfindsomethermometers.”

“Some?Weneedmorethanone?”

“Wehavetomakeyouahygrometer.”

“Ahygrometer?”“Tocheckthehumidityinsidetheincubator.It’sjustathermometerwithwetgauze

aroundthebulb.”

Ismiled.“Nomushychickdisease?”

Hesmiledback.“Precisely.”

BythenextafternoonIhadnotone,butsixchickeneggsincubatingatacozy102degreesFahrenheit.

“Theydon’tallmakeit,Juli,”Mrs.Brubecktoldme.“Hopeforone.Therecord’sthree.Thegrade’sin

thedocumentation.Beascientist.Goodluck.”Andwiththat,shewasoff.

Documentation? Of what? I had to turn the eggs three times a day and regulate the temperature and

humidity,butasidefromthatwhatwastheretodo?

Thatnightmyfathercameouttothegaragewithacardboardtubeandaflashlight.Hetapedthetwo

togethersothatthelightbeamwasforcedstraightoutthetube.“Letmeshowyouhowtocandleanegg,”

hesaid,thenswitchedoffthegaragelight.

I’dseenasectiononcandlingeggsinMrs.Brubeck’sbook,butIhadn’treallyreadityet.“Whydothey

callitthat?”Iaskedhim.“Andwhydoyoudoit?”

“People used candles to do this before they had incandescent lighting.” He held an egg up to the

cardboardtube.“Thelightletsyouseethroughtheshellsoyoucanwatchtheembryodevelop.Thenyou

canculltheweakones,ifnecessary.”

“Killthem?”

“Cullthem.Removetheonesthatdon’tdevelopproperly.”

“But…wouldn’tthatalsokillthem?”

Helookedatme.“Leavinganeggyoushouldcullmighthavedisastrousresultsonthehealthyones.”

“Why?Wouldn’titjustnothatch?”

Hewentbacktolightinguptheegg.“Itmightexplodeandcontaminatetheothereggswithbacteria.”

Explode!Betweenmushychickdisease,explodingeggs,andculling,thisprojectwasturningouttobe

theworst!Thenmyfathersaid,“Lookhere,Julianna.Youcanseetheembryo.”Heheldtheflashlightand

eggoutsoIcouldsee.

Ilookedinsideandhesaid,“Seethedarkspotthere?Inthemiddle?Withalltheveinsleadingtoit?”

“Thethingthatlookslikeabean?”

“That’sit!”

Suddenlyitfeltreal.Thiseggwasalive.Iquicklycheckedtherestofthegroup.Therewerelittlebean

babiesinallofthem!Surelytheyhadtolive.Surelytheywouldallmakeit!



“Dad?CanItaketheincubatorinside?Itmightgettoocoldouthereatnight,don’tyouthink?”

“Iwasgoingtosuggestthesamething.Whydon’tyoupropopenthedoor?I’llcarryitforyou.”

ForthenexttwoweeksIwascompletelyconsumedwiththegrowingofchicks.IlabeledtheeggsA,B,

C,D,E,andF,butbeforelongtheyhadnames,too:Abby,Bonnie,Clyde,Dexter,Eunice,andFlorence.

EverydayIweighedthem,candledthem,andturnedthem.Ieventhoughtitmightbegoodforthemtohear

someclucking,soforawhileIdidthat,too,butcluckingistiring!Itwasmucheasiertohumaroundmy

quietlittleflock,soIdidthat,instead.SoonIwashummingwithouteventhinkingaboutit,becausewhenI

wasaroundmyeggs,Iwashappy.

I read The Beginner’s Guide to Raising Chickens cover to cover twice. For my project I drew

diagramsofthevariousstagesofanembryo’sdevelopment,Imadeagiantchickenposter,Igraphedthe

daily fluctuations in temperature and humidity, and I made a line chart documenting the weight loss of

eachegg.Ontheoutsideeggswereboring,butIknewwhatwashappeningontheinside!

ThentwodaysbeforethesciencefairIwascandlingBonniewhenInoticedsomething.Icalledmydad

intomyroomandsaid,“Look,Dad!Lookatthis!Isthattheheartbeating?”

Hestudieditforamoment,thensmiledandsaid,“Letmegetyourmother.”

SothethreeofuscrowdedaroundandwatchedBonnie’sheartbeat,andevenmymotherhadtoadmit

thatitwasabsolutelyamazing.

Clydewasthefirsttopip.AndofcoursehediditrightbeforeIhadtoleaveforschool.Hislittlebeak

crackedthrough,and whileIheldmybreathandwaited,herested.Andrested.Finally hisbeak poked

throughagain,butalmostrightaway,herestedagain.HowcouldIgotoschoolandjustleavehimthis

way?Whatifheneededmyhelp?Surelythiswasavalidreasontostayhome,atleastforalittlewhile!

Myfathertriedtoassuremethathatchingoutcouldtakealldayandthatthere’dbeplentyofactionleft

afterschool, butI’dhavenoneofthat.Oh,no-no-no!Iwanted toseeAbbyandBonnieandClyde and

DexterandEuniceandFlorencecomeintotheworld.Everysingleoneofthem.“Ican’tmissthehatch!”I

toldhim.“Notevenasecondofit!”

“Sotakeittoschoolwithyou,”mymothersaid.“Mrs.Brubeckshouldn’tmind.Afterall,thiswasher

idea.”

Sometimesitpaystohaveasensiblemother.I’djustsetupforthesciencefairearly,that’swhatI’ddo!

Ipackedupmyentireoperation,posters,charts,andall,andgotaridetoschoolfrommymom.

Mrs.Brubeckdidn’tmindabit.ShewassobusyhelpingkidswiththeirprojectsthatIgottospend

nearlytheentiredaywatchingthehatch.

ClydeandBonniewerethefirstonesout.Itwasdisappointingatfirstbecausetheyjustlaythereall

wet and matted, looking exhausted and ugly. But by the time Abby and Dexter broke out, Bonnie and

Clydewerefluffingup,lookingforaction.

Thelasttwotookforever,butMrs.BrubeckinsistedthatIleavethemalone,andthatworkedoutpretty

greatbecausetheyhatchedoutduringthefairthatnight.Mywholefamilycame,andeventhoughMattand

Mikeonlywatchedforabouttwominutesbeforetheytookofftolookatsomeotherdemonstration,my

momanddadstuckaroundforthewholething.MomevenpickedBonnieupandnuzzledher.

ThatnightafteritwasalloverandIwaspackinguptogohome,Momasked,“Sodothesegobackto

Mrs.Brubecknow?”

“DowhatgobacktoMrs.Brubeck?”Iaskedher.

“Thechicks,Juli.You’renotplanningtoraisechickens,areyou?”

Tobehonest,Ihadn’tthoughtbeyondthehatch.Myfocushadbeenstrictlyonbringingthemintothe

world.Butshewasright—heretheywere.Sixfluffylittleadorablechicks,eachofwhichhadanameand,

Icouldalreadytell,itsownuniquepersonality.

“I…Idon’tknow,”Istammered.“I’llaskMrs.Brubeck.”

ItrackeddownMrs.Brubeck,butIwasprayingthatshedidn’twantmetogivethembacktoherfriend.

After all, I’d hatched them. I’d named them. I’d saved them from mushy chick disease! These little

peepersweremine!

Tomyreliefandmymother’shorror,Mrs.Brubecksaidtheywereindeedmine.Allmine.“Havefun,”

shesaid,thenzippedofftohelpHeididismantleherexhibitonBernoulli’slaw.

Momwasquietthewholewayhome,andIcouldtell—shewantedchickenslikeshewantedatractor

andagoat.“Please,Mom?”Iwhisperedasweparkedatthecurb.“Please?”

Shecoveredherface.“Wherearewegoingtoraisechickens,Juli?Where?”

“Inthebackyard?”Ididn’tknowwhatelsetosuggest.

“WhataboutChamp?”

“They’llgetalong,Mom.I’llteachhim.Ipromise.”

Mydadsaidsoftly,“They’reprettyself-sufficient,Trina.”

Butthentheboyspipedupwith,“Champ’llpiss’emtodeath,Mom,”andsuddenlytheywereonaroll.

“Yeah!Butyouwon’tevennotice’causethey’reyellowalready!”“Whoa!YellowAlready—coolname.”

“Thatcouldwork!Butwait—peoplemightthinkwemeanourbellies!”“Oh,yeah—forgetthat!”“Yeah,

justlethimkillthechicks.”

Mybrotherslookedateachotherwithenormouseyesandstartedupalloveragain.“KilltheChicks!

That’sit!Getit?”“Youmeanlikewe’rechickkillers?Orlikewekillthechicks?”

Dadturnedaroundandsaid,“Out.Bothofyou,getout.Gofindanameelsewhere.”

Sotheyscrambledout,andthethreeofussatinthecarwithonlythegentlepeep-peep-peepfrommy

littleflockbreakingthesilence.Finallymymotherheavedaheavysighandsaid,“Theydon’tcostmuch

tokeep,dothey?”

Mydadshookhishead.“Theyeatbugs,Trina.Andalittlefeed.They’reverylow-maintenance.”

“Bugs?Really?Whatsortofbugs?”

“Earwigs,worms,roly-polys…probablyspiders,iftheycancatchthem.Ithinktheyeatsnails,too.”

“Seriously?”Mymothersmiled.“Well,inthatcase…”

“Oh,thankyou,Mom.Thankyou!”

And that’s how we wound up with chickens. What none of us thought of was that six chickens

scratchingforbugsnotonlygetsridofbugs,italsotearsupgrass.Withinsixmonthstherewasnothing

whatsoeverleftofouryard.



What we also didn’t think of was that chicken feed attracts mice, and mice attract cats. Feral cats.

Champwasprettygoodatkeepingthecatsoutoftheyard,butthey’dhangaroundthefrontyardorthe

sideyard,justwaitingforhimtosnoozesotheycouldsneakinandpounceonsometenderlittlemousy

vittles.

Thenmybrothersstartedtrappingthemice,whichIthoughtwasjusttohelpout.Ididn’tsuspectathing

untilthedayIheardmymotherscreamingfromthedepthsoftheirroom.Theywere,itturnsout,raisinga

boaconstrictor.

Mom’sfootcamedowninabigway,andIthoughtshewasgoingtothrowusout,lock,stock,andboa,

butthenI madethe mostamazingdiscovery—chickens layeggs!Beautiful,shiny,creamywhiteeggs!I

first found one under Bonnie, then Clyde—whom I immediately renamed Clydette—and one more in

Florence’sbed.Eggs!

Iracedinsidetoshowmymom,andafterabriefmomentofblinkingatthem,shewitheredintoachair.

“No,”shewhimpered.“Nomorechicks!”

“They’renotchicks,Mom…they’reeggs!”

She was still looking quite pale, so I sat in the chair next to her and said, “We don’t have a

rooster…?”

“Oh.”Thecolorwascomingbacktohercheeks.“Isthatso?”

“I’veneverheardacock-a-doodle-do,haveyou?”

Shelaughed.“AblessingIguessI’veforgottentocount.”Shesatupalittleandtookaneggfrommy

palm.“Eggs,huh.Howmanydoyousupposethey’lllay?”

“Ihavenoidea.”

Asitturnsout,myhenslaidmoreeggsthanwecouldeat.Atfirstwetriedtokeepup,butsoonwe

weretiredofboilingandpicklinganddeviling,andmymotherstartedcomplainingthatallthesefreeeggs

werecostingherwaytoomuch.

ThenoneafternoonasIwascollectingeggs,ourneighborMrs.Stuebyleanedoverthesidefenceand

said,“Ifyoueverhaveanyextra,I’dbehappytobuythemfromyou.”

“Really?”Iasked.

“Mostcertainly.Nothingquitelikefree-rangeeggs.Twodollarsadozensoundfairtoyou?”

Twodollarsadozen!Ilaughedandsaid,“Sure!”

“Okay,then.Wheneveryouhavesomeextras,justbring’emover.Mrs.HelmsandIgottodiscussingit

lastnightonthephone,butIaskedyoufirst,somakesureyouoffer’emuptomebeforeher,okay,Juli?”

“Surething,Mrs.Stueby!”

BetweenMrs.StuebyandMrs.Helmsthreedoorsdown,myeggoverflowproblemwassolved.And

maybeIshould’veturnedthemoneyovertomymotheraspaymentforhavingdestroyedthebackyard,but

one“Nonsense,Julianna.It’syours,”wasallittookformetostartsquirrelingitaway.

Then one day as I was walking down to Mrs. Helms’ house, Mrs. Loski drove by. She waved and

smiled,andIrealizedwithapangofguiltthatIwasn’tbeingveryneighborlyaboutmyeggs.Shedidn’t

know that Mrs. Helms and Mrs. Stueby were paying me for these eggs. She probably thought I was

deliveringthemoutofthekindnessofmyheart.

And maybe I should’ve been giving the eggs away, but I’d never had a steady income before.

Allowanceatourhouseisahit-or-misssortofthing.Usuallyamiss.Andearningmoneyfrommyeggs

gavemethissecrethappyfeeling,whichIwasreluctanttohavethekindnessofmyheartencroachupon.

ButthemoreIthoughtaboutit,themoreIrealizedthatMrs.Loskideservedsomefreeeggs.Shehad

been agood neighborto us,lendingus supplies whenweranoutunexpectedlyandbeing lateto work

herselfwhenmymotherneededaridebecauseourcarwouldn’tstart.Afeweggsnowandagain…it

wastheleastIcoulddo.

TherewasalsothedecidedlyblissfulpossibilityofrunningintoBryce.Andinthechillysparkleofa

newday,Bryce’seyesseemedbluerthanever.Thewayhelookedatme—thesmile,theblush—itwasa

BryceIdidn’tgettoseeatschool.TheBryceatschoolwaswaymoreprotected.

BythethirdtimeIbroughteggsovertotheLoskis,IrealizedthatBrycewaswaitingforme.Waitingto

pullthedooropenandsay,“Thanks,Juli,”andthen,“Seeyouatschool.”



Itwasworthit.EvenafterMrs.HelmsandMrs.Stuebyofferedmemoremoneyperdozen,itwasstill

worthit.So,throughtherestofsixthgrade,throughallofseventhgradeandmostofeighth,Idelivered

eggs to the Loskis. The very best, shiniest eggs went straight to the Loskis, and in return I got a few

momentsalonewiththeworld’smostdazzlingeyes.

Itwasabargain.

Thentheycutdownthesycamoretree.AndtwoweekslaterChampdied.He’dbeenspendingalotof

timesleeping,andeventhoughwedidn’treallyknowhowoldhewas,noonewasreallysurprisedwhen

onenightDadwentouttofeedhimanddiscoveredhewasdead.Weburiedhiminthebackyard,andmy

brothersputupacrossthatreads:

HERELIESTHEMYSTERYPISSER



P.I.P.



Iwas upsetand prettydazedfor awhile. Itwasraininga lotand Iwasriding my biketoschoolto

avoidhavingtotakethebus,andeachdaywhenI’dgethome,I’dretreattomyroom,losemyselfina

novel,andsimplyforgetaboutcollectingeggs.

Mrs.Stuebywastheonewhogotmebackonschedule.Shecalledtosayshe’dreadaboutthetreein

the paper and was sorry about everything that had happened, but it had been some time now and she

missedhereggsandwasworriedthatmyhensmightquitlaying.“Distresscanpushabirdstraightintoa

molting,andwewouldn’twantthat!Featherseverywhereandnotanegginsight.I’mquiteallergictothe

feathers myself or I’d probablyhave a flock ofmy own, butnever you mind. You justbring ’em over

whenyou’reuptoit.All’sIwantedwastocheckinandletyouknowhowsorryIwasaboutthetree.And

yourdog,too.Yourmothermentionedhepassedaway.”

SoIgotbacktowork.IclearedawaytheeggsI’dneglectedandgotbackintomyroutineofcollecting

andcleaning.AndonemorningwhenIhadenough,Imadetherounds.FirstMrs.Stueby,thenMrs.Helms,

andfinallytheLoskis.AndasIstoodattheLoskis’threshold,itoccurredtomethatIhadn’tseenBrycein

the longest time. Sure, we’d both been at school, but I’d been so preoccupied with other things that I

hadn’treallyseenhim.

Myheartstartedbeatingfaster,andwhenthedoorwhooshedopenandhisblueeyeslookedrightatme,

ittookeverythingIhadjusttosay,“Here.”

Hetookthehalf-cartonandsaid,“Youknow,youdon’thavetogiveusthese….”

“Iknow,”Isaid,andlookeddown.

Westoodthereforarecord-breakingamountoftimesayingnothing.Finallyhesaid,“Soareyougoing

tostartridingthebusagain?”

Ilookedupathimandshrugged.“Idon’tknow.Ihaven’tbeenuptheresince…youknow.”

“Itdoesn’tlooksobadanymore.It’sallcleared.They’llprobablystartonthefoundationsoon.”

Itsoundedperfectlyawfultome.

“Well,”hesaid,“I’vegottogetreadyforschool.Seeyouthere.”Thenhesmiledandclosedthedoor.

ForsomereasonIjuststoodthere.Ifeltodd.Outofsorts.Disconnectedfromeverythingaroundme.

WasIevergoingtogobackuptoCollierStreet?Ihadtoeventually,orsomymothersaid.WasIjust

makingitharder?

Suddenly the door flew open and Bryce came hurrying out with an overfull kitchen trash can in his

hands.“Juli!”hesaid.“Whatareyoustilldoinghere?”

He startled me, too.Ididn’tknowwhatIwas stilldoingthere. And Iwassoflustered thatIwould

probably just have run home if he hadn’t started struggling with the trash, trying to shove the contents

down.

Ireachedoverandsaid,“Doyouneedsomehelp?”becauseitlookedlikehewasabouttospillthe

trash.ThenIsawthecornerofaneggcarton.

Thiswasn’tjustanyeggcartoneither.Itwasmyeggcarton.TheoneI’djustbroughthim.Andthrough

thelittlebluecardboardarcsIcouldseeeggs.

Ilookedfromhimtotheeggsandsaid,“Whathappened?Didyoudropthem?”

“Yeah,”hesaidquickly.“Yeah,andI’mreallysorryaboutthat.”

Hetriedtostopme,butItookthecartonfromthetrash,saying,“Allofthem?”Iopenedthecartonand

gasped.Sixwhole,perfecteggs.“Why’dyouthrowthemaway?”

He pushed past me and went around the house to the trash bin, and I followed him, waiting for an

answer.

Heshookthegarbageout,thenturnedtofaceme.“Doesthewordsalmonellameananythingtoyou?”

“Salmonella?But…”

“Mymomdoesn’tthinkit’sworththerisk.”

Ifollowedhimbacktotheporch.“Areyousayingshewon’teatthembecause—”

“Becauseshe’safraidofbeingpoisoned.”

“Poisoned!Why?”

“Becauseyourbackyardis,like,coveredinturds!Imean,lookatyourplace,Juli!”Hepointedatour

houseandsaid,“Justlookatit.It’sacompletedive!”

“It is not!” I cried, but the truth was sitting right across the street, impossible to deny. My throat

suddenlychokedclosedandIfounditpainfultospeak.“Haveyou…alwaysthrownthemaway?”

Heshruggedandlookeddown.“Juli,look.Wedidn’twanttohurtyourfeelings.”

“Myfeelings?DoyourealizeMrs.StuebyandMrs.Helmspaymeformyeggs?”

“You’rekidding.”

“No!Theypaymetwodollarsadozen!”

“Noway.”

“It’strue!AllthoseeggsIgavetoyouIcould’vesoldtoMrs.StuebyorMrs.Helms!”

“Oh,”hesaid,andlookedaway.Thenheeyedmeandsaid,“Well,whydidyoujustgivethemtous?”

Iwasfightingbacktears,butitwashard.Ichokedout,“Iwastryingtobeneighborly…!”

Heputdownthetrashcan,thendidsomethingthatmademybrainfreeze.Heheldmebytheshoulders

andlookedmerightintheeyes.“Mrs.Stueby’syourneighbor,isn’tshe?So’sMrs.Helms,right?Whybe

neighborlytousandnotthem?”

Whatwashetryingtosay?WasitstillsoobvioushowIfeltabouthim?Andifheknew,howcouldhe

havebeensoheartless,justthrowingmyeggsawaylikethat,weekafterweek,yearafteryear?

Icouldn’tfindanywords.Noneatall.Ijuststaredathim,attheclear,brilliantblueofhiseyes.

“I’msorry,Juli,”hewhispered.

Istumbledhome,embarrassedandconfused,myheartcompletelycrackedopen.

Bryce:GetaGrip,Man



Itdidn’ttakelongformetorealizethatI’dtradedinmyoldproblemswithJuliBakerforawhole

newsetofproblemswithJuliBaker.Icouldfeelherangeramileaway.

Itwasactuallyworsehavinghermadatmethanhavingherharassme.Why?BecauseI’dscrewedup,

that’swhy.Ihadeggallovermyface,andblamingitonheryardhaddonenothingtowashitoff.Theway

sheignoredme,orsoobviouslyavoidedme,wasascreamingloudremindertomethatI’dbeenajerk.A

royalcluck-facedjerk.

ThenonedayI’mcominghomefromhangingoutwithGarrettafterschool,andthere’sJuliinherfront

yard,hackingatashrub.Sheisthrashingonthething.Branchesareflyingoverhershoulder,andclear

acrossthestreetIcanhearhergruntingandgrowlingandsayingstufflike,“No…you…don’t!Youare

coming…off…whetheryoulikeitor…not!”

DidIfeelgoodaboutthis?No,myfriend,Ididnot.Yeah,theiryardwasamess,anditwasabouttime

someonedidsomethingaboutit,butc’mon—where’sthedad?WhataboutMattandMike?WhyJuli?

BecauseI’dembarrassedherintoit,that’swhy.Ifeltworsethanever.

So I snuck inside and tried to ignore the fact that here’s my desk and here’s my window, and right

acrossthestreetfrommeisJuli,beatingupabush.Notconducivetoconcentration.Nosiree,Bob.Igot

allofzerohomeworkdone.

ThenextdayatschoolIwastryingtogetupthenervetosaysomethingtoher,butIneverevengotthe

chance.Shewouldn’tletmegetanywherenearher.

ThenontheridehomeIhadthisthought.Itkindoffreakedmeoutatfirst,butthemoreIplayedwithit,

themoreIfiguredthat,yeah,helpingherwiththeyardwouldmakeupformyhavingbeensuchajerk.

Assuming she didn’t boss me too much, and assuming she didn’t decide to get all gooey-eyed or

somethingstupidlikethat.No,I’dgoupandjusttellherthatIfeltbadforbeingajerkandIwantedto

makeituptoherbyhelpinghercutbacksomebushes.Period.Endofstory.Andifshestillwantedtobe

madatmeafterthat,thenfine.Thatwasherproblem.

My problem was, I never got the chance. I came trekking down from the bus stop to find my

grandfatherdoingmygooddeed.

Now,jumpback.ThiswasnotsomethingIcouldimmediatelyabsorb.Mygrandfatherdidnotdoyard

work.Atleast,he’dneverofferedtohelpmeout.Mygrandfatherlivedinhouseslippers—where’dhe

getthoseworkboots?Andthosejeansandthatflannelshirt—whatwasupwiththose?

Icrouchedbehindaneighbor’shedgeandwatchedthemfortenorfifteenminutes,andman,thelongerI

watched,the madderIgot.Mygrandfatherhadalreadysaidmoretoherinthislittlesliceoftimethan

he’dsaidtomethewholeyearandahalfhe’dbeenlivingwithus.WhatwashisdealwithJuliBaker?

Itookthebackwayhome,whichinvolvedclimbingtwofencesandkickingofftheneighbor’sstupid

littleterrier,butitwasworthit,consideringIavoidedthegardenpartyacrossthestreet.

AgainIgotnohomeworkdone.ThemoreIwatchedthem,themadderIgot.Iwasstillacluck-faced

jerk,whileJuliwaslaughingitupwithmygrandfather.HadIeverseenhimsmile?Reallysmile?Idon’t

thinkso!Butnowhewasknee-highinnettles,laughing.

Atdinnerthatnighthe’dshoweredandchangedbackintohisregularclothesandhouseslippers,buthe

didn’tlookthesame.Itwaslikesomeonehadpluggedhiminandturnedonthelight.

“Goodevening,”hesaidashesatdownwiththerestofus.“Oh,Patsy,thatlooksdelicious!”

“Well,Dad,”mymomsaidwithalaugh,“yourexcursionacrossthestreetseemstohavedoneyoua

worldofgood.”

“Yeah,”myfathersaid.“Patsytellsmeyou’vebeenoverthereallafternoon.Ifyouwereinthemood

forhomeimprovementprojects,whydidn’tyoujustsayso?”

Myfatherwasjustjokingaround,butIdon’tthinkmygrandfathertookitthatway.Hehelpedhimselfto

acheese-stuffedpotatoandsaid,“Passthesalt,won’tyou,Bryce?”

Sotherewasthisdefinitetensionbetweenmyfatherandmygrandfather,butIthinkifDadhaddropped

thesubjectrightthen,thevibewould’vevanished.

Daddidn’tdropit,though.Instead,hesaid,“Sowhy’sthegirltheonewho’sfinallydoingsomething

abouttheirplace?”

Mygrandfathersaltedhispotatoverycarefully,thenlookedacrossthetableatme.Ah-oh,Ithought.

Ah-oh.InaflashIknewthosestupideggswerenotbehindme.Twoyearsofsneakingtheminthetrash,

twoyearsofavoidingdiscussionofJuliandhereggsandherchickensandherearly-morningvisits,and

forwhat?Granddadknew,Icouldseeitinhiseyes.Inamatterofsecondshe’dcrackopenthetruth,and

I’dbeasgoodasfried.

Enteramiracle.Mygrandfatherpetrifiedmeforaminutewithhiseyesbutthenturnedtomyfatherand

said,“Shewantsto,isall.”

Aragingriverofsweatrandownmytemples,andasmyfathersaid,“Well,it’sabouttimesomeone

did,”mygrandfatherlookedbackatmeandIknew—hewasnotgoingtoletmeforgetthis.We’djusthad

anotherconversation,onlythistimeIwasdefinitelynotdismissed.

Afterthedisheswerecleared,Iretreatedtomyroom,butmygrandfathercamerightin,closedthedoor

behindhim,andthensatonmybed.Hedidthisallwithoutmakingasound.Nosqueaking,noclanking,no

scraping,nobreathing…Iswear,theguymovedthroughmyroomlikeaghost.

AndofcourseI’mbangingmykneeanddroppingmypencilanddeterioratingintoapatheticpoolof

Jell-O.ButItriedmybesttosoundcoolasIsaid,“Hello,Granddad.Cometocheckoutthedigs?”

Hepinchedhislipstogetherandlookedatnothingbutme.

Icracked.“Look,Granddad,IknowImessedup.Ishould’vejusttoldher,butIcouldn’t.AndIkept

thinkingthey’d stop.Imean, how longcan achickenlayeggs?Those thingshatchedin thefifth grade!

Thatwaslike,threeyearsago!Don’ttheyeventuallyrunout?AndwhatwasIsupposedtodo?Tellher

Mom was afraid of salmonella poisoning? And Dad wanted me to tell her we were allergic—c’mon,

who’s goingtobuythat?SoI justkept,you know,throwing them out.Ididn’tknowshe could’vesold

them.Ithoughttheywerejustextras.”

Hewasnodding,butveryslowly.

Isighedandsaid,“Thankyoufornotsayinganythingaboutitatdinner.Ioweyou.”

Hepulledmycurtainasideandlookedacrossthestreet.“One’scharacterissetatanearlyage,son.

The choices you make now will affect you for the rest of your life.” He was quiet for a minute, then

droppedthecurtainandsaid,“Ihatetoseeyouswimoutsofaryoucan’tswimback.”

“Yes,sir.”

Hefrownedandsaid,“Don’tyes-sirme,Bryce.”Thenhestoodandadded,“JustthinkaboutwhatI’ve

said, andthenexttimeyou’refacedwithachoice,dothe rightthing. Ithurtseveryonelessinthelong

run.”

Withthat,poof,hewasgone.

ThenextdayIwenttoshootsomehoopsatGarrett’safterschool,andwhenhismomdroppedmeoff

laterthatafternoon,mygranddaddidn’tevennotice.HewastoobusybeingJoeCarpenterinJuli’sfront

yard.

Itriedtodomyhomeworkatthebreakfastbar,butmymomcamehomefromworkandstartedbeingall

chatty, and then Lynetta appeared and the two of them started fighting about whether Lynetta’s makeup

madeherlooklikeawoundedraccoon.

Lynetta.Iswearshe’llneverlearn.

Ipackedupmystuffandescapedtomyroom,which,ofcourse,wasatotalwaste.They’vegotasaw

revvingandwailingacrossthestreet,andinbetweencutsIcanhearthewhack,whack,whack!whack,

whack,whack!ofahammer.Ilookoutthewindowandthere’sJuli,spittingoutnailsandslammingthem

inplace.Nokidding.She’sgotnailslinedupbetweenherlipslikesteelcigarettes,andshe’sswinging

thathammerfull-arc,wayaboveherhead,drivingnailsintopicketslikethey’regoingintobutter.

For a split secondthere, I saw my head as the recipient of her hammer,cracking open like Humpty

Dumpty.Ishudderedanddroppedthecurtain,ditchedthehomework,andheadedfortheTV.

Theyhandymannedallweek.AndeverynightGranddadwouldcomeinwithrosycheeksandahuge

appetiteandcomplimentmymomonwhatagreatcookshewas.ThenSaturdayhappened.Andthelast

thingIwantedwastospendthedayathomewhilemygrandfatherchurnedupdirtandhelpedplantJuli’s

yard.Momtriedtogetmetodoourownyard,butIwouldhavefeltridiculousmicromowingourgrass

withGranddadandJulimakingrealchangesrightacrossthestreet.

SoIlockedmyselfinmyroomandcalledGarrett.Hewasn’thome,andeverybodyelseIcalledhad

stufftheyhadtodo.AndhittingupMomorDadforaridetothemoviesorthemallwashopeless.They’d

tellmeIwassupposedtobedoingtheyard.

WhatIwas,wasstuck.

AndwhatIwoundupdoing waslookingoutthestupidwindow atJuliandmygrandfather.Itwasa

totallylamethingtodo,butthat’swhatIdid.

Igotnaileddoingit,too.Bymygrandfather.Andhe,ofcourse,hadtopointmeouttoJuli,whichmade

me feel another two inches shorter. I dropped the curtain and blasted out the back door and over the

fence.Ihadtogetoutofthere.

IswearIwalkedtenmilesthatday.AndIdon’tknowwhoIwasmadderat—mygrandfather,Juli,or

me.Whatwaswrongwithme?IfIwantedtomakeituptoJuli,whydidn’tIjustgooverthereandhelp?

Whatwasstoppingme?

IwoundupatGarrett’shouse,andman,I’dneverbeensogladtoseeanyoneinmylife.Leaveitto

Garretttogetyourmindoffanythingimportant.Thatdude’sthemaster.Wewentoutbackandshothoops,

watchedthetube,andtalkedabouthittingthewaterslidesthissummer.

AndwhenIgothome,therewasJuli,sprinklingtheyard.

Shesawme,allright,butshedidn’twaveorsmileoranything.Shejustlookedaway.

NormallywhatI’ddointhatsituationismaybepretendlikeIhadn’tseenher,orgiveaquickwaveand

chargeinside.Butshe’dbeenmadatmeforwhatseemedlikeages.Shehadn’tsaidwordonetomesince

themorningoftheeggs.She’dcompletelydissedmeinmathacoupledaysbeforewhenI’dsmiledather,

tryingtotellherIwassorry.Shedidn’tsmilebackornodoranything.Shejustturnedawayandnever

lookedback.

Ievenwaitedforheroutsidetheclassroomtosaysomething,anything,aboutherfixinguptheyardand

howbadIfelt,butsheditchedmeouttheotherdoor,andafterthatanytimeIgotanywherenearher,she’d

findsomewaytoskatearoundme.

Sothereshewas,wateringtheyard,makingmefeellikeajerk,andI’dhadenoughofit.Iwentupto

herandsaid,“It’slookingrealgood,Juli.Nicejob.”

“Thanks,”shesaidwithoutsmiling.“Chetdidmostofit.”

Chet?Ithought.Chet?Whatwasshedoing,callingmygrandfatherbyhisfirstname?“Look,Juli,”I

said,tryingtogetonwithwhyIwasthere.“I’msorryforwhatIdid.”

Shelookedatmeforasecond,thenwentbacktowatchingthewatersprayacrossthedirt.Finallyshe

said,“Istilldon’tgetit,Bryce.Whydidn’tyoujusttellme?”

“I … I don’t know. It was dumb. I should have. And I shouldn’t have said anything about the yard,

either.Itwas,youknow,outofline.”

Iwasalreadyfeelingbetter.Alotbetter.ThenJulisays,“Well,maybeit’sallforthebetter,”andstarts

bouncingup and downon the balls ofher feet,actingmore like her old self. “Doesn’tit look great?I

learnedsomuchfromChetit’samazing.Youaresolucky.Idon’tevenhavegrandparentsanymore.”

“Oh,”Isaid,notknowingwhattosay.

“Idofeel sorryfor him, though.He sure missesyour grandmother.”Thenshe laughs and shakes her

head,saying,“Canyoubelieveit?HesaysIremindhimofher.”

“What?”

“Yeah,”shelaughsagain.“That’swhatIsaid.Buthemeantitinaniceway.”

IlookedatJuliandtriedtopicturemygrandmotherasaneighthgrader.Itwashopeless.Imean,Juli’s

got long, fluffy brown hair and a nose full of freckles, where my grandmother had always been some

varietyofblond.Andmygrandmotherhadusedpowder.Puffywhitepowder.She’dputitonherfaceand

inherhair,inherslippersandonherchest….Thatwomanpowderedeverything.

IcouldnotseeJulicoatedinpowder.Okay,maybegunpowder,butthewhiteperfumystuff?Forgetit.

IguessIwasstaring,becauseJulisays,“Look,Ididn’tsayit,hedid.Ijustthoughtitwasnice,that’s

all.”

“Yeah,whatever.Well,goodluckwiththegrass.I’msureit’llcomeupgreat.”ThenItotallysurprised

myselfbysaying,“Knowing you,you’llget’em alltohatch.” Ididn’tsayitmean oranything, Ireally

meant it. I laughed, and then she laughed, and that’s how I left her—sprinkling her soon-to-be sod,

smiling.

I hadn’t been in such a good mood in weeks. The eggs were finally behind me. I was absolved.

Relieved.Happy.

IttookmeafewminutesatthedinnertabletorealizethatIwastheonlyonewhowas.Lynettahadon

herusualpout,sothatwasn’tit.Butmyfather’sideaofsayinghellowastolayintomeaboutthelawn.

“Nosweat,”Itoldhim.“I’lldoittomorrow.”

Allthatgotmewasascowl.

ThenMomsaystomygranddad,“Youtiredtonight,Dad?”

Ihadn’tevennoticedhimsittingtherelikeastone.

“Yeah,”myfathertossesdownthetableathim.“Thatgirlworkingyoutoohard?”

Mygrandfatherstraightenshisforkonhisnapkinandsays,“‘Thatgirl’isnamedJuli,andno,sheisn’t

‘workingmetoohard,’asyousocallouslyputit.”

“Callous?Me?”Mydadlaughsandsays,“Developedquiteasoftspotforthatgirl,haven’tyou?”

Even Lynetta let her pout go for a minute. These were fighting words and everyone knew it. Mom

nudgedDadwithherfoot,butthatonlymadethingsworse.“No,Patsy!Iwanttoknowwhyyourfather

hasthe energyandinclinationtobefriendacompletestrangerwhenhe’sneverdonesomuchas tossa

baseballaroundwithhisowngrandson!”

Well,yeah!Ithought.ButthenIremembered—Iowedmygrandfather.Owedhimbig-time.Without

thinking,Isaid,“Takeiteasy,Dad.JulijustremindshimofGrandma.”

Everyoneclammedupandstaredatme.SoIlookedatmygrandfatherandsaid,“Uh…isn’tthatright,

Granddad?”

Henoddedandrearrangedhisforksomemore.

“OfRenée?”MyfatherlookedatmymotherandthenatGranddad.“Shecan’tpossibly!”

Mygranddadclosedhiseyesandsaid,“It’sherspiritthatremindsmeofRenée.”

“Herspirit,”myfathersays.Likehe’stalkingtoalyingkindergartner.

“Yes,herspirit.”Mygrandfather’squietforaminute,thenasks,“DoyouknowwhytheBakershaven’t

fixeduptheyarduntilnow?”

“Why?Sure.They’retrash,that’swhy.They’vegotabeat-uphouse,twobeat-upcars,andabeat-up

yard.”

“Theyarenottrash,Rick.Theyaregood,honest,hardworkingpeople—”

“Whohaveabsolutelynoprideinhowtheypresentthemselvestotherestoftheworld.We’velived

acrossthestreetfromthosepeopleforoversixyears,andthereisnoexcuseforthestatethey’rein.”

“No?”Mygrandfathertakesadeepbreathandseemstoweighthingsinhismindforafewseconds.

Then he says, “Tell me this, Rick. If you had a brother or sister or child who had a severe mental or

physicalhandicap,whatwouldyoudo?”

Itwaslikemygranddadhadpassedgasinchurch.Myfather’sfacepinched,hisheadshook,andfinally

hesaid,“Chet,whatdoesthathavetodowithanything?”

Mygrandfatherlooksathimforaminute,thenquietlysays,“Juli’sfatherhasaretardedbrother,and—”

Myfatherinterruptshimwithalaugh.“Well,thatexplainsalot,doesn’tit!”

“Explains…alot?”mygrandfatherasks.Quietly.Calmly.

“Sure!Itexplainswhythosepeoplearethewaytheyare…!”Hegrinsaroundthetableatus.“Must

runinthefamily.”

Everyonelooksathim.Lynetta’sjawdrops,andforonceshe’sspeechless.Mymothersays,“Rick!”

butallmyfathercandoislaughanervouskindoflaughandsay,“Itwasjustajoke!Imean,obviously

something’swrongwiththosepeople.Oh,excuseme,Chet.Iforgot.ThegirlremindsyouofRenée.”

“Rick!”mymothersaysagain,onlythistimeshe’smad.

“Oh,Patsy,please.Yourfather’sbeingoverlydramatic,tryingtomakemefeelbadforcriticizingour

neighbors because there’s a retarded relative someplace. Other people have family troubles and still

managetomowtheirlawn.Theyshouldhavealittleprideinownership,forcryin’outloud!”

Mygrandfather’scheeksareseriouslyflushed,buthisvoiceisrock-steadyashesays,“Theydon’town

that house, Rick. The landlord is supposed to maintain the premises, but he doesn’t. And since Juli’s

father is responsible for his brother, all their reserves go to his care, and obviously it doesn’t come

cheap.”

Veryquietlymymomasks,“Don’ttheyhavegovernmentfacilitiesforthatkindofthing?”

“Idon’tknowthedetails,Patsy.Maybetherearenogovernmentfacilitiesnearby.Maybetheythoughta

privatefacilitywasabetterplaceforhimtobe.”

“Still,”mydadsays,“therearegovernmentfacilitiesavailable,andiftheydon’twanttogothatroute,

that’stheirchoice.It’snotourfaulttheirfamilyhadsomesortofchromosomalabnormality,andIrefuse

tofeelguiltyforwanting—”

My grandfather slams his hand on the table and half-stands as he says, “It had nothing to do with

chromosomes,Rick!Itwascausedbyalackofoxygenatbirth.”Hebringshisvoicedown,butitmakes

hiswordsseemevenmoreforceful.“Juli’sunclehadtheumbilicalcordwrappedaroundhisneck.Twice.

One minute he was a perfect little baby, just like your son, Bryce, and the next he was irreversibly

damaged.”

Mymotherwassuddenlyhysterical.Insecondsshewasbawlinghereyesout,wailing,andmyfather

wasalloverher,tryingtocalmherdown.Itwasnouse.Shebasicallydissolvedrightthereonthespot.

Lynetta threwher napkin down andmuttered,“Thisfamily isa joke,” and took off. Thenmy mother

boltedoutoftheroom,sobbingintoherhands,andmyfatherracedafterher,throwingmygrandfatherthe

wickedestlookI’deverseen.

ThatleftGranddadandmeandatablefullofcoldfood.“Wow,”Ifinallysaid.“Ihadnoidea.”

“Youstilldon’t,”hetoldme.

“Whatdoyoumean?”

Hesattherelikegraniteforaminute,thenleanedacrossthetabletowardmeandsaid,“Whydoyou

supposethatupsetyourmothersomuch?”

“I…Idon’tknow.”Igaveahalfheartedgrinandsaid,“Becauseshe’sfemale?”

Hesmiled,butjustbarely.“No.She’supsetbecausesheknowsthatshecouldverywellbestandingin

Mr.Baker’sshoesrightnow.”

Ithoughtaboutitaminuteandfinallyasked,“Didherbrotherhavethecordaroundhisneckwhenhe

wasborn?”

Heshookhishead.

“Well,then…”

Heleanedforwardevenfartherandwhispered,“Youdid.”

“Idid?”

Henodded.“Twice.”

“But…”

“Thedoctorwhodeliveredyouwasontheball,plusapparentlytherewassomeslackinthecord,so

hewasabletoloopitoffasyoucameout.Youdidn’thangyourselfcomingintotheworld,butitcould

veryeasilyhavegonetheotherway.”

IfI’dbeentoldyearsorevenweeksagothatI’dcomedownthechutenoosedandreadytohang,I’d

havemadesomekindofjokeaboutit,ormorelikelyI’dhavesaid,Yeah,that’snice;nowcanyouspare

methediscussion?

Butaftereverythingthathadhappened,Iwasreallyfreakingout,andIcouldn’tescapethequestions

tidal-wavingmybrain.WherewouldIbeifthingshadbeendifferent?Whatwouldtheyhavedonewith

me?Fromthewaymydadwastalking,hewouldn’thavehadmuchuseforme,that’sforsure.He’dhave

stuckmeinanuthousesomewhere,anywhere,andforgottenaboutme.ButthenIthought,No!I’mhiskid.

Hewouldn’tdothat…wouldhe?

Ilookedaroundateverythingwehad—thebighouse,thewhitecarpet,theantiquesandartworkand

stuffthatwaseverywhere.Wouldtheyhavegivenupallthestufftomakemylifemorepleasant?

Idoubtedit,andman,Idoubteditbig-time.I’dhavebeenanembarrassment.Somethingtotrytoforget

about.Howthingslookedhadalwaysbeenabiggietomyparents.Especiallytomydad.

Veryquietlymygranddadsaid,“Youcan’tdwellonwhatmighthavebeen,Bryce.”Then,likehecould

readmymind,headded,“Andit’snotfairtocondemnhimforsomethinghehasn’tdone.”

Inoddedandtriedtogetagrip,butIwasn’tdoingaverygoodjobofit.Thenhesaid,“Bytheway,I

appreciatedyourcommentbefore.”

“What?”Iasked,butmythroatwasfeelingallpinchedandswollen.

“Aboutyourgrandmother.Howdidyouknowthat?”

Ishookmyheadandsaid,“Julitoldme.”

“Oh?Youspokewithher,then?”

“Yeah.Actually,Iapologizedtoher.”

“Well…!”

“AndIwasfeelingalotbetterabouteverything,butnow…God,Ifeellikesuchajerkagain.”

“Don’t.Youapologized,andthat’swhatmatters.”Hestoodupandsaid,“Say,I’minthemoodfora

walk.Wanttojoinme?”

Goforawalk?WhatIwantedtodowasgotomyroom,lockthedoor,andbeleftalone.

“Ifinditreallyhelpstoclearthemind,”hesaid,andthat’swhenIrealizedthatthiswasn’tjustawalk

—thiswasaninvitationtodosomethingtogether.

Istoodupandsaid,“Yeah.Let’sgetoutofhere.”

Foraguywho’donlybasicallyeversaidPassthesalttome,mygranddadturnedouttobearealtalker.

We walkedourneighborhood andthenextneighborhood andthenextneighborhood,andnotonlydidI

findoutthatmygranddadknowsalotofstuff,Ifoundoutthattheguyisfunny.Inasubtlekindofdryway.

It’sthestuffhesays,plusthewayhesaysit.It’sreally,Idon’tknow,cool.

As we werewindingbackintoour ownterritory, wepassed bythe housethat’sgoing upwherethe

sycamoretreeusedtobe.Mygranddadstopped,lookedupintothe night,andsaid,“Itmust’vebeen a

spectacularview.”

Ilookedup,too,andnoticedforthefirsttimethatnightthatyoucouldseethestars.“Didyoueversee

herupthere?”Iaskedhim.

“Yourmotherpointedherouttomeonetimeaswedroveby.Itscaredmetoseeherupsohigh,but

afterIreadthearticleIunderstoodwhyshedidit.”Heshookhishead.“Thetree’sgone,butshe’sstill

gotthesparkitgaveher.KnowwhatImean?”



LuckilyIdidn’thavetoanswer.Hejustgrinnedandsaid,“Someofusgetdippedinflat,someinsatin,

someingloss….”Heturnedtome.“Buteveryonceinawhileyoufindsomeonewho’siridescent,and

whenyoudo,nothingwillevercompare.”

Aswewalkeduptoourfrontporch,mygrandfatherputhisarmaroundmyshoulderandsaid,“Itwas

nicewalkingwithyou,Bryce.Ienjoyedmyselfverymuch.”

“Metoo,”Itoldhim,andwewentinside.

Rightawayweknew we’d steppedintoawarzone.And eventhoughnoone was yellingorcrying,

fromthelookonmyparents’facesIcouldtellthere’dbeenamajormeltdownwhilemygranddadandI

wereout.

Granddadwhisperedtome,“I’vegotanotherfencetomend,I’mafraid,”andheadedintothedining

roomtotalktomyparents.

Iwantednothingtodowiththatvibe.Iwentstraighttomyroom,closedthedoor,andfloppedthrough

thedarknessontomybed.

Ilaythereawhileandletthedinnerdisasterplaythroughmymind.AndwhenI’dtotallyburnedafuse

thinkingaboutit,Isatupandlookedoutthewindow.TherewasalightonsomewhereinsidetheBakers’

houseandthestreetlightswereglowing,butthenightstillseemedreallydense.Likeitwasdarkerthan

usualand,Idon’tknow,heavy.

I leaned closer to the window and looked up into the sky, but I couldn’t see the stars anymore. I

wonderedifJulihadeverbeeninthesycamoreatnight.Amongthestars.

Ishookmyhead.Flat,glossy,iridescent.Whatwasupwiththat?JuliBakerhadalwaysseemedjust

plaindustytome.

IsnappedonmydesklampanddugthenewspaperwiththearticleaboutJulioutofthedrawerwhere

I’dtossedit.

JustlikeIthought—theymadeitsoundlikeJuliwastryingtosaveMountRushmoreorsomething.

Theycalledhera“strongvoiceinanurbanwilderness”and“aradiantbeacon,sheddinglightontheneed

tocurtailcontinuedoverdevelopmentofouroncequaintandtranquilcommunity.”

Spareme.Imean,what’swrongwithlettingaguycutdownatreeonhisownpropertysohecanbuild

ahouse?Hislot,histree,hisdecision.Endofstory.Thepieceinthepaperwasgag-megush.

Except.ExceptfortheplaceswheretheyquotedJuli. Maybe itwasjustincontrasttothereporter’s

slantorsomething,butJuli’spartsdidn’tcomeoffoh-woe-is-melikeIwasexpecting.Theywere,Idon’t

know,deep.Sittinginthattreewasseriouslyphilosophicaltoher.

Andtheoddthingis,itallmadesensetome.Shetalkedaboutwhatitfeltliketobeupinthattree,and

howit,like,transcendeddimensionalspace.“Tobeheldabovetheearthandbrushedbythewind,”she

said, “it’s like your heart has been kissedby beauty.” Whoin junior highdo youknowthatwould put

togetherasentencelikethat?Noneofmyfriends,that’sforsure.

Therewasotherstuff,too,likehowsomethingcanbesomuchmorethanthepartsittooktomakeit,

andwhypeopleneedthingsaroundthemthatliftthemabovetheirlivesandmakethemfeelthemiracleof

living.

Iwoundup reading and re-reading her parts, wonderingwhen inthe world she started thinkinglike

that.Imean,nokidding,JuliBaker’ssmart,butthiswassomethingwaybeyondstraightA’s.

AmonthagoifI’dreadthisarticle,Iwouldhavechuckeditinthetrashascompletegarbage,butfor

somereasonitmadesensetomenow.Alotofsense.

A month ago I also wouldn’t have paid any attention to the picture of Juli, but now I found myself

staringatit.Nottheoneofthewholescene—thatwasmoreemergencyrescueequipmentthanJuli.The

otherone,onthebottomhalfofthepage.Someonemust’veusedakillertelephotolens,becauseyoucan

tellthatshe’sinthetree,butit’smostlyfromtheshouldersup.She’slookingoffintothedistanceandthe

windisblowingherhairbacklikeshe’satthehelmofashiporsomething,sailingintothesun.

I’dspentsomanyyearsavoidingJuliBakerthatI’dneverreallylookedather,andnowallofasudden

Icouldn’tstop.Thisweirdfeelingstartedtakingoverthepitofmystomach,andIdidn’tlikeit.Notone

bit.Totellyouthetruth,itscaredtheSheetrockoutofme.



IburiedthepaperundermypillowandtriedtoremindmyselfofwhatapainJuliBakerwas.Butmy

mindstartedtowanderagain,andprettysoonIhadthatstupidpaperoutfromundermypillow.

Thiswasinsane!WhatwasIdoing?

Imademyselfshutoutthelightandgotobed.Iwasslipping,man,anditwasdefinitelytimetogeta

grip.

Juli:TheYard



I’d neverbeenembarrassedby where welived before. I’dnever looked atourhouse, orevenour

side of the street, and said, Oh! I wish we lived in the new development—those houses are so much

newer,somuchbetter!ThisiswhereI’dgrownup.Thiswasmyhome.

Iwasawareoftheyard,sure.Mymotherhadgrumbledaboutitforyears.Butitwasalowgrumbling,

notworthyofdeepconcern.OrsoI’dsupposed.ButmaybeIshouldhavewondered.Whylettheoutside

goandkeeptheinsidesonice?Itwasspotlessinsideourhouse.Exceptfortheboys’room,thatis.Mom

gave up on thatafter she discovered the snake. If they were old enoughto adopt a snake, she told my

brothers,theywereoldenoughtocleantheirownroom.MattandMiketranslatedthistokeepthedoor

closed,andbecamequitediligentaboutdoingjustthat.

Besidestheyard,Ialsoneverreallywonderedaboutthemoney,ortheapparentlackthereof.Iknew

weweren’trich,butIdidn’tfeellikeIwasmissinganything.Anythingyoucouldbuy,anyway.

MattandMikedidaskforthingsalot,buteventhoughmymotherwouldtellthem,No,boys,wejust

can’taffordthat,Itookthistomean,No,boys,youdon’tdeservethat,or,No,boys,youdon’treallyneed

that.Itwasn’tuntilBrycecalledourhomeacompletedivethatIstartedreallyseeingthings.

Itwasn’tjusttheyard.Itwasmydad’struck,mymother’scar,thefamilybikethatwasmorerustthan

steel,andthefactthatwhenwedidbuysomethingnew,italwaysseemedtocomefromasecond-time-

aroundstore.Plus,weneverwentonvacation.Ever.

Why was that? My father was the hardest-working man in the world, and my mother worked for

TempService doing secretarial jobs whenever she could. What was all that hard work about if this is

whereitgotyou?

Askingmyparentswhetherwewerepoorseemedincrediblyimpolite.Butasthedayswentby,Iknew

Ihadtoask.Justhadto.EverydayI’dridehomefromschoolonourrustybike,pullpastthebrokenfence

andpatchyyard,andthink,Tonight.I’llaskthemtonight.

ButthenIwouldn’taskthem.Ijustdidn’tknowhow.

ThenonedayIhadanidea.Awaytotalktothemaboutitandmaybehelpoutalittle,too.Andsince

mybrotherswereworkingatthemusicstorethatnight,andnobodywassayingmuchofanythingatthe

table,Itookadeepbreathandsaid,“Iwasthinking,youknow,thatitwouldn’tbehardtofixupthefront

yardifIcouldgetsomenailsandahammerandmaybesomepaint?Andhowmuchdoesgrassseedcost?

Itcan’tbethatmuch,right?Icouldplantalawn,andmaybeevensomeflowers?”

Myparentsstoppedeatingandstaredatme.

“Iknowhowtouseasawandahammer—itcouldbe,youknow,aproject.”

Mymotherquitlookingatmeandstaredatmyfather,instead.

Myfathersighedandsaid,“Theyardisnotourresponsibility,Julianna.”

“It’s…it’snot?”

Heshookhisheadandsaid,“It’sMr.Finnegan’s.”

“Who’sMr.Finnegan?”

“Themanwhoownsthishouse.”

Icouldn’tbelievemyears.“What?”

Myfatherclearedhisthroatandsaid,“Thelandlord.”

“Youmeanwedon’townthishouse?”

Theylookedateachother,havingsomeprivatewordlessconversationIcouldn’tdecipher.Finallymy

fathersaid,“Ididn’trealizeyoudidn’tknowthat.”

“But…butthatdoesn’tmake sense!Aren’tlandlordssupposedtocomeanddothings? Like fix the

roofwhenitleaksandclearthedrainswhenthey’replugged?Youalwaysdothatstuff,Dad.Whydoyou

doitwhenhe’ssupposedto?”

“Because,”hesighed,“it’seasierthanaskinghimforhelp.”

“Butif—”

“And,”myfatherinterruptedme,“itkeepshimfromraisingtherent.”

“But…”

Mymotherreachedoverandtookmyhand.“Sweetheart,I’msorryifthisisashock.Iguesswealways

thoughtyouknew.”

“Butwhatabouttheyard?Whykeepuptheinsidebutnottheoutside?”

Myfatherfrownedandsaid,“Whenwesignedthelease,heassuredushewouldfixthefences,front

and back, and plant sod in the front yard. Obviously thatnever happened.” He shook his head. “It’s a

majorundertaking,andfencingisnotcheap.Ican’tseeputtingthatsortofinvestmentintoapropertythat’s

notours.Plus,it’stheprincipleofthething.”

“Butwelivehere,”Iwhispered,“anditlookssobad.”

Myfatherstudiedme.“Julianna,whathappened?”

“Nothing,Daddy,”Isaid,butheknewIwaslying.

“Sweetheart,”hewhispered,“tellme.”

Iknewwhathe’dsayifItoldhim,andyetIcouldn’tnottellhim.Notwiththewayhewaslookingat

me.SoItookadeepbreathandsaid,“TheLoskishavebeenthrowingmyeggsawaybecausetheywere

afraidthey’dhavesalmonellabecauseouryardissuchamess.”

Myfathersaid,“Oh,that’sridiculous,”butmymothergasped,“What?”Thenshecried,“DidPatsysay

that?”

Ilookeddown.“No,Brycedid.”

“Butitmust’vebeenafamilydiscussion!Aboydoesn’tcomeupwiththatonhisown…!”Mymother

lookedforalltheworldlikeadoewaitingtobeshotthroughtheheart.Shecoveredherfacewithher

handsandsaid,“Ican’tgoonlikethis!Robert,thingshavegottochange.They’vejustgotto!”

“Trina,youknowI’mdoingthebestIcan.I’msorryabouttheyard,I’msorryaboutthesituation.This

isn’tthepictureIhadformylife,either,butsometimesyouhavetosacrificeforwhat’sright.”

My mother looked up from her hands and said, “This is not right for our family. Your daughter is

sufferingbecausewewon’tfixupourownyard.”

“It’snotouryard.”

“How can you say that? Robert, wake up! We have lived here for twelve years. It’s not temporary

anymore! If we ever want to have a decent place with our own yard, if we’re going to help the kids

throughcollegeordoanyoftheotherthingswe’vepromisedeachother,we’regoingtohavetomovehim

intogovernmentcare.”

Myfatherletoutadeepsighandwhispered,“We’vediscussedthissomanytimes,Trina.Intheend

youalwaysagreethatkeepinghimatGreenhavenistherightthingtodo.”

Iwantedtosay,Wait!Whatareyoutalkingabout?Whoareyoutalkingabout?Buttheconversationwas

flyingsofastandfuriousthatIcouldn’tseemtobreakin,anditwasn’tlongbeforetheywerebickeringso

badlythatitwasalmostlikeIwasn’tthere.

Theninthebackofmymind,itclicked.Everythingclicked.Itwasmydad’sbrothertheyweretalking

about.Myuncle.David.

TomeUncleDavidwasonlyaname.Someonemyparentshadexplainedtome,butnotsomeoneI’d

ever actually met. And even though I knew my dad visited him, I never knew exactly when. He never

talkedaboutit.

Dadalsothoughtweshouldn’ttalkaboutUncleDavidtoothersbecauseDavidwasretarded.“People

jump to conclusions,” he’d told me. “They assume that, by association, something must also be wrong

withyou.Trustme,Iknow.”

Sowedidn’ttalkaboutit.Notathome,notwithfriends.ItwasalmostliketherewasnoUncleDavid.

Untilnow.Nowhefeltlargerthanlife,andIcouldtellfromtheirargumentthathewasthereasonwe

didn’thaveourownhouse;hewasthereasonwedidn’thavenicecarsorfancythings.Hewasthereason

therealwaysseemedtobeacloudofwearinesshangingovermyparents.

WhydidIhavetobringuptheyardinthefirstplace?I’dneverseenmyparentsfightlikethis.Ever.I

wantedtograbthemandsay,Stopit!Stopit!Youloveeachother!Youdo!ButIjustsattherewithtears

streamingdownmyface.

Mymotherstoppedsuddenlyandwhispered,“Weshouldnotbedoingthisinfrontofher!”

“I’msorry,Julianna,”mydadsaid,thenreachedoverandheldmyforearm.“Don’tcry.Noneofthisis

yourfault.We’llworkitout,Ipromisewewill.”

Mymothertriedtolaughthroughhertears,saying,“Wealwayshave,andwealwayswill.”

Thatnightmyparentscameintomyroomandtalkedtome,oneatatime.Myfathertalkedabouthis

brotherandhowmuchhelovedhimandhowhe’dpromisedhisparentshe’dalwaystakecareofhim.My

mother talked about how much she loved my father for his strength and kind heart, about dreams and

reality,andthe needtocountyourblessings.And shemade me cryall overagainwhenshekissedme

goodnightandwhisperedthatofallhermanyblessings,Iwasherbestandbrightest.

Ifeltsorryformyfather.Ifeltsorryformymother.ButmostofallIfeltluckyformethattheywere

mine.

Andinthemorning,asIrodemyrustybikeoutthedrivewaytoschool,IpromisedmyselfthatwhenI

gothome,I’dtackletheyard.Rentedornot,thiswasourhome,andIwasgoingtohelpmakelivinghere

better.

Asitturnsout,thiswaseasierthoughtthandone.Firstittookmehalfanhourofrummagingthroughthe

garagetofindahammerandaboxofnails,asaw,andsomepruners.Thenittookanotherhalfhourof

standingaroundtofigureoutjustwheretostart.Theactualyardwasjustclumpsofweeds,butwhatabout

theborderingshrubs?ShouldIdigthemup,orprunethemwayback?Weretheyshrubs,orjustovergrown

weeds? Andwhataboutthefence?ShouldIknockit down,or rebuild it?MaybeIshould takeoutthe

frontendentirelyandusethewoodtofixupthesides.

ThelongerIlookedaround,themoreIfeltlikeforgettingthewholething.Whybother?Itwasn’tour

property.Mr.Finneganshouldbetheonemakingrepairs.

ButthenIrememberedmymother’swordsfromthenightbefore.Surely,Ithought,afewbushesand

somedilapidatedwoodcouldn’tstopsomeone’sbestandbrightestblessing!Surelynot!

Andwiththat,Ipickeduptheclippersandgottowork.

Half an hour later I was keeper of the knowledge that one bush equals many branches, and that the

volume of a bush increases exponentially as it’s cut and tossed into the middle of a yard. It was

ridiculous!WherewasIgoingtoputallthisstuff?

Mom came home and tried to talk me out of my mission, but I’d have none ofit. Oh, no-no-no! I’d

alreadyprunedtwobushesdowntoarespectablesize,andbeforelongshe’dsee—theplacewasgoing

tolookjustdandy.

“Youdidn’tgetthatstubbornstreakfromme,”shesaid,butcamebackoutsidewithaglassofjuiceand

akissformycheek.Goodenoughforme!

By the end of that first day, whatI’d made was a big mess. But if chaos is a necessary step in the

organizationofone’suniverse,thenIwaswellonmyway.Atleastthat’swhatItriedtotellmyselfwhen

Ifloppedintobedthatnight,deadtired.

And the next afternoon I was busily expanding the chaos of my little universe when I heard a deep

voicesay,“That’squiteanundertaking,younglady.”

ThemanstandingonoursidewalkwasBryce’sgrandfather,Iknewthatmuch.ButI’donlyeverseen

himoutsideonetime.AlltheothertimesI’dseenhimhadbeenthroughwindows—eitheroneintheir

sittingroomoroneintheircar.Tomehewasjustadark-hairedmanbehindglass.Havinghimappearon

mysidewalkwaslikehavingsomeonefromTVstepthroughthescreenandtalktoyou.

“Iknowwe’veseeneachotherfromtimetotime,”hewassaying.“I’msorryit’stakenmeoverayear

to come introduce myself. I’m Chester Duncan, Bryce’s grandfather. And you, of course, are Julianna

Baker.”

Hestuckouthishand,soItookoffmyworkgloveandwatchedmyhandcompletelydisappearinside

hisasweshook.“Nicetomeetyou,Mr.Duncan,”Isaid,thinkingthatthismanwaswaybiggerthanhe

lookedfromthesitting-roomwindow.

Thenthestrangestthinghappened.Hepulledhisownworkglovesandapairofclippersfromaback

pocketandsaid,“Areyoupruningallofthesetothesameheight?”

“Oh,”Isaid.“Well,yes.ThatiswhatIwasthinking.AlthoughnowIdon’tknow.Doyouthinkitwould

lookbettertojusttakethemout?”

Heshookhisheadandsaid,“They’reAustralianteashrubs.They’llpruneupnicely.”Andwiththat,he

putonhisglovesandstartedclipping.

AtfirstIdidn’tknowwhattosaytothisman.Itwasverystrangetobegettinghishelp,butfromthe

wayhewasacting,itwasasthoughIshouldn’thavethoughtathingofit.Clip-clip-clip,hewent,likethis

wassomethinghereallyenjoyeddoing.

ThenIrememberedwhatBrycehadsaidaboutouryard,andsuddenlyIknewwhyhewasthere.

“What’sthematter?”heasked,throwinghisclippingsintomypile.“DidIcutitdowntoofar?”

“N-no.”

“Thenwhythelook?”heasked.“Idon’tmeantomakeyouuncomfortable.Ijustthoughtyoumightlike

alittlehelp.”

“Well,Idon’t.Icandothisbymyself.”

Helaughedandsaid,“Oh,Ihavenodoubtaboutthat,”thengotbacktoclipping.“Yousee,Julianna,I

readaboutyouinthepaper,andI’velivedacrossthestreetfromyouforoverayearnow.It’seasytosee

thatyou’reaverycompetentperson.”

Webothworkedquietlyforaminute,butIfoundmyselfthrowingtheclippingsintothepileharderand

harder.AndbeforelongIcouldn’tstandit.Ijustcouldn’tstandit!Ispunonhimandsaid,“You’rehere

becauseyoufeelbadabouttheeggs,aren’tyou?Well,oureggsareperfectlyfine!We’vebeeneatingthem

fornearlythreeyearsandnoneofushavegottenpoisoned.Mrs.StuebyandMrs.Helmsseemingood

healthtome,too,andthefactofthematteris,ifyoudidn’twantthem,youshould’vejusttoldmeso!”

Hishandsfelltohissidesandheshookhisheadashesaid,“Eggs?Poisoned?Julianna,Ihavenoidea

whatyou’retalkingabout.”

InsideIwassoangryandhurtandembarrassedthatIdidn’tevenfeellikeme.“I’mtalkingaboutthe

eggsthatI’vebeenbringingovertoyourhouseformorethantwoyears—eggsthatmychickenslaidthatI

could’vesold!Eggsthatyourfamilyhasbeenthrowingaway!”Iwasshoutingathim.Shoutingatanadult,

likeI’dnevershoutedatanyoneinmyentirelife.

Hisvoicegotveryquiet.“I’msorry.Idon’tknowaboutanyeggs.Whodidyougivethemto?”

“Bryce!”MythroatchokedclosedasIsaidhisnameagain.“Bryce.”

Mr. Duncan nodded slowly and said, “Well,” then went back to pruning his bush. “That probably

explainsit.”



“Whatdoyoumean?”

Hesighed.“Theboystillhasawaystogo.”

Ijuststaredathim,nottrustingmyselfwiththewordssizzlingonmytongue.

“Oh, he’s a very handsome boy, there’s no denying that,” he said with a frown. Then he snapped a

branchandadded,“Thespittingimageofhisfather.”

Ishookmyhead.“Whyareyouoverhere,Mr.Duncan?Ifyoudon’tthinkIneedthehelpandyou’renot

feelingbadabouttheeggs,thenwhywouldyoudothis?”

“Honestly?”

Ijustlookedathim,straightintheeye.

Henodded,thensaid,“Becauseyouremindmeofmywife.”

“Yourwife?”

“That’sright.”Hegavemealittlesmileandsaid,“Renéewould’vesatupinthattreewithyou.She

would’vesatthereallnight.”

Andwiththosetwosentences,myangervanished.“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“She’s…shedied?”

Henodded.“AndImissherterribly.”Hetossedabranchintotheheapandchuckled.“There’snothing

likeahead-strongwomantomakeyouhappytobealive.”

The last thing in the world I expected was to become friends with Bryce’s grandfather. But by

dinnertimeIknewsomuchabouthimandhiswifeandtheadventuresthey’dhadtogetherthatitseemed

likeI’dknownhimforaverylongtime.Plus,allhisstoriesmadetheworkseemeasy.WhenIwentinfor

thenight,the busheswere allprunedback,and exceptfor the enormousheap inthecenteroftheyard,

thingswerealreadylookingawholelotbetter.

Thenextdayhewasback.AndwhenIsmiledandsaid,“Hi,Mr.Duncan,”hesmiledbackandsaid,

“CallmeChet,won’tyou?”Helookedatthehammerinmyhandandsaid,“Itakeitwe’restartingonthe

fencetoday?”

Chettaught me how toplumb a line for the pickets, how tohold a hammer down on the end of the

handleinsteadofchokinguponit,howtocalculateanadjustedspacingforthepickets,andhowtousea

leveltogetthewoodexactlyvertical.Weworkedonthefencefordays,andthewholetimeweworked

wetalked.Itwasn’tjustabouthiswife,either.Hewantedtoknowaboutthesycamoretreeandseemedto

understandexactlywhatImeantwhenItoldaboutthewholebeinggreaterthanthesumofitsparts.“It’s

thatwaywithpeople,too,”hesaid,“onlywithpeopleit’ssometimesthatthewholeislessthanthesum

oftheparts.”

Ithoughtthatwasprettyinteresting.AndthenextdayduringschoolIlookedaroundatthepeopleI’d

knownsinceelementaryschool,tryingtofigureoutiftheyweremoreorlessthanthesumoftheirparts.

Chetwasright.Alotofthemwereless.

Topofthelist,ofcourse,wasShellyStalls.Tolookather,you’dthinkshehadeverything,butthere’s

not much solid underneath her Mount Everest hair.And eventhoughshe’s like a black hole at sucking

peoplein,itdoesn’ttakethemlongtofigureoutthatbeingfriendswithherrequiresfanningtheflamesof

awildfireego.

Butofallmyclassmates,theonepersonIcouldn’tseemtoplacewasBryce.UntilrecentlyI’dhave

saidwithabsolutecertaintythathewasgreater—fargreater—thanthesumofhisparts.Whathedidtomy

heartwassheer,inexplicablemagic.

Butinexplicablewastheoperativewordhere.AndasIlookedacrosstheroomathimduringmath,I

couldn’thelp feeling crushed all over again abouthow he’d thrownout myeggs. Whatkindof person

woulddothat?

Thenhelookedmywayandsmiled,andmyheartlurched.ButIwasmadatmyselfforit.HowcouldI

stillfeelthiswayafterwhathe’ddone?

Iavoidedhimtherestoftheday,butbytheendofschooltherewasatornadoinsideme,tearingmeup

fromone endtotheother.Ijumpedonmybike androdehome fasterthan Ieverhadbefore. Theright

pedalclankedagainstthechainguard,andthewholebikerattledandsqueaked,threateningtocollapse

intoapileofrustyparts.

Thetornado,however,wasstillgoingstrongwhenIskiddedtoahaltinourdriveway.SoItransferred

pedal power intopaintingpower. Ipried open the gallon of Navajo White mydad hadboughtme and

startedsloppingpaintaround.

Chetappeared about ten minutes later. “My,” he laughed, “you’ve gotan enviable amountof energy

today,don’tyou?”

“No,”Isaid,brushingbacksomehairwiththebackofmyhand,“I’mjustmad.”

Heproducedhisownbrushandanemptycoffeecan.“Uhoh.Whoat?”

“Myself!”

“Oh,that’satoughone.Didyoudopoorlyonatest?”

“No!I…”Iturnedtohimandsaid,“Howdidyoufallinlovewithyourwife?”

HepouredsomeNavajoWhiteintohiscanandsmiled.“Ah,”hesaid.“Boyproblems.”

“Idonothaveboyproblems!”

Hehesitatedbutdidn’targue.Instead,hesaid,“Ifellinlovewithherbymistake.”

“Bymistake?Whatdoyoumean?”

“I didn’t intend to. At the time I was engaged to somebody else, and in no position to fall in love.

FortunatelyformeIsawhowblindI’dbeenbeforeitwastoolate.”

“Blind?”

“Yes.Myfiancéewasverybeautiful.Shehadthemostmagnificentbrowneyes,andskinlikeanangel.

AndforatimeallIcouldseewasherbeauty.Butthen…well,let’sjustsayIdiscoveredshewasn’ta

fractionofthepersonRenéewas.”Hedippedhisbrushinthecoffeecanandstrokedapicketwithpaint.

“It’seasytolookbackandseeit,andit’seasytogivetheadvice,butthesadfactis,mostpeopledon’t

lookbeneaththesurfaceuntilit’stoolate.”

Wewerequietaminute,butIcouldseeChetthinking.Andfromthefurrowinhisbrow,Iknewithad

nothingtodowithmyproblems.“I’m…I’msorryIbroughtupyourwife,”Isaid.

“Oh,don’tbe,that’sallright.”Heshookhisheadandtriedonasmile.“Besides,Iwasn’tthinkingof

Renée.Iwasthinkingofsomeoneelse.Someonewho’sneverbeenabletolookbeneaththesurface.At

thispointIdon’tsupposeIevenwantherto.”

Whowashetalkingabout?Iwantedtoknow!ButIfeltitwouldbecrossingsomelinetoask,sowe

paintedpicketsinsilence.Atlastheturnedtomeandsaid,“Getbeyondhiseyesandhissmileandthe

sheenofhishair—lookatwhat’sreallythere.”

Thewayhesaiditsentachillthroughme.Itwasasthoughheknew.AndsuddenlyIfeltdefensive.Was

hetellingmehisgrandsonwasn’tworthit?

Whenitwastimetogoinfordinner,Istilldidn’tfeelright,butatleastthetornadowasgone.Mom

saidDadwasworkinglate,andsincetheboyswereoffwiththeirfriends,itwasjustthetwoofus.She

toldmethatsheandDadhadtalkedaboutitandthattheybothfeltalittlestrangehavingChetcomeover

likehewas.Maybe,shesaid,theyshouldfindawaytopayhimforhishelp.

Itold her IthoughtChetwould find thatinsulting,but the nextday she wentahead and insulted him

anyway.Chetsaid,“No,Mrs.Baker.It’sbeenmypleasuretohelpoutyourdaughteronthisproject,”and

wouldn’thearanotherwordaboutit.

Theweekendedwithmydadloadingthebackofhistruckwithalltheclippingsandscrapsbeforehe

set off for work on Saturday morning. Then Chetand I spent the rest of the day hoeing up weeds and

rakingandreadyingthedirtforseeding.

ItwasonthislastdaythatChetasked,“Yourfamily’snotmoving,areyou?”

“Moving?Whydoyousaythat?”

“Oh,mydaughterbroughtupthepossibilityatthedinnertablelastnight.Shethoughtthatmaybeyou’re

fixingupthehousebecauseyou’regettingreadytosellit.”

EventhoughChetandIhadtalkedaboutalotofthingswhilewewereworking,Iprobablywouldn’t

havetoldhimaboutMr.FinneganorUncleDavidorwhytheyardwassuchamessifhehadn’taskedme

aboutmoving.Butsincehehad,well,Iwounduptellinghimeverything.Anditfeltgoodtotalkaboutit.

EspeciallyaboutUncleDavid.Itfeltlikeblowingadandelionintothewindandwatchingallthelittle

seedsfloatoff,upandaway.Iwasproudofmyparents,andlookingaroundthefrontyard,Iwasproudof

me,too.JustwaituntilIgotmyhandsonthebackyard!ThenmaybeI’devenpaintthehouse.Icoulddoit.

Icould.

ChetwasprettyquietafterItoldhimthestory,andwhenMombroughtusoutsandwichesatlunchtime,

wesatontheporchandatewithoutsayingaword.Thenhebrokethesilencebynoddingacrossthestreet

andsaying,“Idon’tknowwhyhedoesn’tjustcomeoutandsayhello.”

“Who?” I asked, then looked across the street to where he’d nodded. The curtain in Bryce’s room

movedquicklybackintoplace,andIcouldn’thelpasking,“Bryce?”

“That’sthethirdtimeI’veseenhimwatching.”

“Really?”Myheartwasflutteringaboutlikeababybirdtryingtofly.

Hefrownedandsaid,“Let’sfinishupandgetthatseedsown,shallwe?You’llwantthewarmthofthe

daytohelpwiththegermination.”

Iwas happytofinally beplantingthe yard, butIcouldn’t helpbeing distractedby Bryce’s window.

Washewatching?Duringtherestoftheafternoon,IcheckedmoreoftenthanI’dliketoadmit.AndI’m

afraidChetnoticed,too,becausewhenwewerealldoneandwe’dcongratulatedeachotheronwhatwas

suretobeafine-lookingyard,hesaid,“Hemaybeactinglikeacowardnow,butIdoholdouthopefor

theboy.”

Acoward?WhatonearthcouldIsaytothat?Ijuststoodtherewiththehoseinonehandandthespigot

valvebeneaththeother.

Andwiththat,Chetwavedsolongandwalkedacrossthestreet.

AfewminuteslaterIsawBrycecomingdownthesidewalktowardhishouse.Ididadoubletake.All

thistimeI’dthoughthewasinsidethehousewatching,andhewasreallyoutsidewalkingaround?Iwas

embarrassedalloveragain.

Iturnedmybackonhimandconcentratedonwateringtheyard.WhatafoolIwas!Whatacomplete

idiot!AndIhadjustbuiltupaniceheadofangrysteamwhenIheard,“It’slookinggood,Juli.Nicejob.”

ItwasBryce,standingrightthereonourdriveway.AndsuddenlyIwasn’tmadatmeanymore.Iwas

mad at him. How could he stand there like my supervisor and tell me, Nice job? He had no business

sayinganythingafterwhathe’ddone.

I was about to hose him down when he said, “I’m sorry for what I did, Juli. It was, you

know…wrong.”

Ilookedathim—intothosebrilliantblueeyes.AndItriedtodowhatChethadsaid—Itriedtolook

pastthem.Whatwasbehindthem?Whatwashethinking?Washereallysorry?Orwashejustfeelingbad

aboutthethingshe’dsaid?

Itwaslikelookingintothesun,though,andIhadtoturnaway.

Icouldn’ttellyouwhatwetalkedaboutafterthat,exceptthathewasnicetomeandhemademelaugh.

Andafterheleft,Ishutoffthewaterandwentinsidefeelingvery,verystrange.

TherestoftheeveningI bounced back and forth betweenupset and uneasy. The worstpartbeing, I

couldn’treallyputmyfingeronwhatexactlyIwasupsetoruneasyabout.OfcourseitwasBryce,but

whywasn’tIjustmad?He’dbeensucha…scoundrel.Orhappy?Whywasn’tIjusthappy?He’dcome

overtoourhouse.He’dstoodonourdriveway.He’dsaidnicethings.We’dlaughed.

But I wasn’t mad or happy. And as I lay in bed trying to read, I realized that upset had been

overshadowedbyuneasy.Ifeltasthoughsomeonewaswatchingme.IgotsospookedIevengotupand

checkedoutthewindowandintheclosetandunderthebed,butstillthefeelingdidn’tgoaway.

Ittookmeuntilnearlymidnighttounderstandwhatitwas.

Itwasme.Watchingme.

Bryce:LoomingLargeandSmelly



SundayIwokeupfeelinglikeI’dbeensickwiththeflu.LikeI’dhadoneofthosebad,convoluted,

unexplainablefeverdreams.

AndwhatI’vefiguredoutaboutbad,convoluted,unexplainabledreamsofanykindisthatyou’vejust

gottoshakethemoff.Trytoforgetthattheyeverhappened.

Ishookitoff,allright,andgotoutofbedearly’causeIhadeatenalmostnothingthenightbeforeandI

wasstarving!ButasIwastruckingintothekitchen,Iglancedintothefamilyroomandnoticedthatmy

dadwassackedoutonthecouch.

Thiswasnotgood.Thiswasasignofbattlesstillinprogress,anditmademefeellikeaninvaderin

myownterritory.

He rolled over and kind of groaned, then curled up tighter under his skinny little quiltand muttered

someprettyunfriendly-soundingstuffintohispillow.

Ibeatitintothekitchenandpouredmyselfakillerbowlofcornflakes.AndIwasabouttodrownitin

milkwhenmymothercomeswaltzinginandsnagsitawayfromme.“Youaregoingtowait,youngman,”

shesays.“ThisfamilyisgoingtohaveSundaybreakfasttogether.”

“ButI’mstarving!”

“Soaretherestofus.Nowgo!I’mmakingpancakes,andyou’retakingashower.Go!”

Likeashower’sgoingtopreventimminentstarvation.

ButIheadeddowntothebathroom,andonmywayInoticedthatthefamilyroomwasempty.Thequilt

wasfoldedandbackonthearmrest,thepillowwasgone…itwaslikeI’dimaginedthewholething.

Atbreakfastmyfatherdidn’tlooklikehe’dspentthenightonthecouch.Nobagsunderhiseyes,no

whiskersonhischin.Hewasdeckedoutintennisshortsandalavenderpoloshirt,andhishairwasall

blowndrylikeitwasaworkday. PersonallyIthoughttheshirtlookedkindofgirly,butmymomsaid,

“Youlookverynicethismorning,Rick.”

Myfatherjusteyedhersuspiciously.

Then my grandfather came in, saying, “Patsy, the house smells wonderful! Good morning, Rick. Hi

there,Bryce,”andwinkedatmeashesatdownandputhisnapkininhislap.

“Lyn-et-ta!”mymothersangout.“Break-fast!”

My sister appeared in a triple-X miniskirt and platform shoes, with eyes that were definitely of the

raccoon variety. My mother gasped, but then took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, honey.

You’re…you’re…Ithoughtyouweregoingtochurchthismorningwithyourfriends.”

“Iam.”Lynettascowledandsatdown.

Mom brought pancakes, fried eggs, and hash browns to the table. My father just sat there stiff as a

boardforaminute,butfinallyheshookouthisnapkinandtuckeditintohiscollar.

“Well,”mymothersaidasshesatdown,“Ihavecomeupwithasolutiontooursituation.”

“Hereitcomes…,”myfathermuttered,butmymothergavehimaglarethatshuthimdowncold.

“Thesolutionis…,”mymomsaidassheservedherselfsomepancakes,“…we’regoingtoinvitethe

Bakersoverfordinner.”

My father blurts out, “What?”; Lynetta asks, “All of them?”; I put in, “Are you serious?”; but my

grandfatherheapsonanotherfriedeggandsays,“That,Patsy,isamarvelousidea.”

“Thanks,Dad,”shesayswithasmile,thentellsLynettaandme,“OfcourseI’mserious,andyes,ifJuli

andtheboyswanttocome,they’llbeinvited.”

Mysisterstartscrackingup.“Doyouknowwhatyou’resaying?”

Momsmoothsthenapkinintoherlap.“Maybeit’sabouttimeIfoundout.”

Lynetta turns to me and says, “She’s inviting the core of Piss Poor over for dinner — oh, this is

somethingIreallywokeupexpecting!”

My father shakes his head and says, “Patsy, what purpose does this serve? So I made some stupid

crackslastnight.Isthisthenextphaseinmypunishment?”

“Itissomethingweshouldhavedoneyearsago.”

“Patsy,please.Iknowyoufeelbadaboutwhatyoufoundout,butanawkwarddinnerpartyisn’tgoing

tochangeanything!”

Mymotherransyrupalloverherpancakes,poppedthetopclosed,lickedherfinger,thenlockedeyes

withmydad.“WearehavingtheBakersoverfordinner.”

Andthat,shedidn’thavetotellhim,wasthat.

Dadtookadeepbreath,thensighedandsaid,“Whateveryouwant,Patsy.Justdon’tsayIdidn’twarn

you.”Hetookabiteofhashbrownsandmumbled,“Abarbecue,Isuppose?”

“No,Rick.Asit-downdinner.Likewehavewhenyourclientscomeover.”

Hestoppedchewing.“You’reexpectingthemtodressup?”

Momglaredathim.“WhatI’mexpectingisforyoutobehavelikethegentlemanIalwaysthoughtyou

were.”

Dadwentbacktohispotatoes.DefinitelysaferthanarguingwithMom.

Lynettawoundupeatingtheentirewhiteofafriedeggandalmostawholepancakebesides.Plain,of

course,butfromthewayshewasgluttingandgigglingassheate,itwasobviousthatatleastshewasina

goodmood.

Granddadateplenty,evenforhim,butIcouldn’ttellwhathewas thinking. Hewas backtolooking

moregranitethanhuman.Me,I’dstartedtuningintothefactthatthisdinnercouldbemorethanawkward

—itcouldbetrouble.Thoserotteneggswerebackfromthegrave,loominglargeandsmellyrightover

myhead.

Sure, Granddad knew, but noone else inmy familydid. Whatif it came upatdinner? I’d be dead,

fried,cluck-facedmeat.

Later,asIwasbrushingmyteeth,IconsideredbribingJuli.Gettingheronboardsothatnobodybrought

upthesubjectofeggs.OrmaybeIcouldsabotagethedinnersomehow.Makeitnothappen.Yeah,Icould

—Istoppedmyselfandlookedinthemirror.WhatkindofwimpwasI,anyway?Ispitandheadedback

tofindmymom.

“Whatisit,honey?”sheaskedmeasshewipedoffthegriddle.“Youlookworried.”

Idouble-checkedtomakesuremydadorLynettawasn’tlurkingaroundsomewhere,thenwhispered,

“Willyousweartosecrecy?”

Shelaughed.“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”

Ijustwaited.

“Whatcanbe…,”shesaid,thenlookedatmeandstoppedcleaning.“Oh,itisserious.Honey,what’s

wrong?”

It had been ages since I’d voluntarily fessed up about something to my mom. It just didn’t seem

necessaryanymore;I’dlearnedtodealwiththingsonmyown.Atleast,that’swhatI’dthought.Untilnow.

Shetouchedmyarmandsaid,“Bryce,tellme.Whatisit?”

Ihoppeduptositonthecounter,thentookadeepbreathandsaid,“It’saboutJuli’seggs.”

“Abouther…eggs?”

“Yeah.Rememberthatwholechicken-hen-salmonelladisaster?”

“Thatwasquiteawhileago,butsure….”

“Well,whatyoudon’tknowisthatJulididn’tbringeggsoverjustthatonce.She’sbeenbringingthem

overeveryweek…oraboutthat,anyway.”

“Shehas?Whydidn’tIknowaboutthis?”

“Well, I was afraid Dad would get mad at me for not telling her we didn’t want them, so I started

interceptingthem.I’dseehercoming,gettoherbeforesherangthebell,andthenI’dtosstheminthetrash

beforeanyoneknewshe’dbeenhere.”

“Oh,Bryce!”

“Well,Ikeptthinkingthey’dstop!Howlongcanastupidchickenlayeggs?”

“ButItakeittheyhavestopped?”

“Yeah.Asoflastweek.BecauseJulicaughtmechuckingacartoninthetrashoutside.”

“Oh,dear.”

“Exactly.”

“Sowhatdidyoutellher?”

I looked down and mumbled, “I told her thatwe were afraid of salmonella poisoning because their

yardwassuchamess.Sheranoffcrying,andthenextthingIknow,she’sstartingtofixuptheiryard.”

“Oh,Bryce!”

“Exactly.”

Shewasdeadquietforaminute;thenverysoftlyshesaid,“Thankyouforyourhonesty,Bryce.Itdoes

helptoexplainalot.”Sheshookherheadandsaid,“Whatthatfamilymustthinkofus,”andgotbackto

cleaningthegriddle.“Allthemorereasontohavethemoverfordinner,ifyouaskme.”

Iwhispered,“You’resworntosecrecyonthiswholeeggthing,right?Imean,JulitoldGranddad,sohe

knows,butIdon’twantthistospreadto,youknow,Dad.”

Shestudiedmeaminute,thensaid,“Tellmeyou’velearnedyourlesson,honey.”

“Ihave,Mom.”

“Okay,then.”

Iletoutabigsighofrelief.“Thanks.”

“Oh,andBryce?”

“Yeah?”

“I’mverygladyoutoldmeaboutit.”Shekissedmeonthecheek,thensmiledandsaid,“Now,didn’tI

hearyoupromiseyou’dmowthelawntoday?”

“Right,”Isaid,andheadedoutsidetotrimtheturf.

ThateveningmymotherannouncedthattheBakerswouldbeoverFridaynightatsixo’clock;thatthe

menuincludedpoachedsalmon,crabrisotto,andfreshsteamedvegetables;andthatnoneofushadbetter

weaseloutofbeingthere.Mydadmutteredthatifwewerereallygoingtodothis,itwouldbeawholelot

bettertobarbecuebecauseatleastthatwayhe’dhavesomethingtodo,butmymompositivelysmoked

himwithhereyesandhedroppedit.

So. They were coming. And it made seeing Juli at school even more uncomfortable than usual. Not

becauseshegushedaboutitorevenwavedandwinkedorsomething.No,shewasbacktoavoidingme.

She’d say hi if we happened to run into each other, but instead of being, like, right over my shoulder

anytime Ilooked, she was nowhere. She musthave ducked out back doors and taken roundabout ways

throughcampus.Shewas,Idon’tknow,scarce.

I found myself looking at her in class. The teacher’d be talking and all eyes would be up

front…exceptmine.TheykeptwanderingovertoJuli.Itwasweird.OneminuteI’dbelisteningtothe

teacher,andthenextI’dbecompletelytunedout,lookingatJuli.

It wasn’t until Wednesday in math that I figured it out. With the way her hair fell back over her

shouldersandherheadwastilted,shelookedlikethepictureinthepaper.Notjustlikeit—theangle

wasdifferent,andthewindwasn’tblowingthroughherhair—butshedidlooklikethepicture.Alotlike

thepicture.

Makingthatconnectionsentachilldownmyspine.AndIwondered—whatwasshethinking?Could

shereallybethatinterestedinrootderivations?

DarlaTresslercaughtmewatching,andman,shegavemetheworld’swickedestsmile.IfIdidn’tdo

somethingfast,thiswasgoingtospreadlikewildfire,soIsquintedatherandwhispered,“There’sabee

inherhair,stupid,”thenpointedaroundintheairlike,Thereitgoes,see?

Darla’sneckwhippedaroundsearchingforthebee,andIstraightenedoutmyfocusfortherestofthe

day.ThelastthingIneededwastobescorchedbythelikesofDarlaTressler.

ThatnightIwas doing my homework,and justto prove to myself thatI’dbeen wrong, I pulledthat

newspaperarticleoutofmytrashcan.AndasI’mflippingitover,I’mtellingmyself,It’sadistortionof

reality;it’smyimagination;shedoesn’treallylooklikethat….

But there she was. The girl in my math class, two rows over and one seat up, glowing through

newsprint.

Lynettabargedin.“Ineedyoursharpener,”shesaid.

Islammedmybinderclosedoverthepaperandsaid,“You’resupposedtoknock!”Andthen,sinceshe

waszoominginandthepaperwasstillstickingout,IcrammedthebinderintomybackpackasfastasI

could.

“Whatareyoutryingtohidethere,babybrother?”

“Nothing,andstopcallingmethat!Anddon’tbargeintomyroomanymore!”

“GivemeyoursharpenerandI’mhistory,”shesaidwithherhandout.

Idugitoutofmydrawerandtosseditather,andsureenough,shedisappeared.

Buttwosecondslatermymomwascallingforme,andafterthat,well,Iforgotthatthepaperwasinmy

binder.

Untilfirstperiodthenextmorning,thatis.Man!WhatwasIsupposedtodowithit?Icouldn’tgetup

andthrowitout;Garrettwasrightthere.Besidesthat,DarlaTressler’sinthatclass,andIcouldtell—

shewaskeepinganeyeoutforwaywardbees.Ifshecaughtwindofthis,I’dbetheonestung.

ThenGarrettreachesovertosnagapieceofpaperlikehedoesaboutfourteentimesaday,onlyIhave

acompletementalspazandslamdownonhishandwithmine.

“Dude!”hesays.“What’syourproblem?”

“Sorry,”Isay,tuningintothefactthathewasonlygoingforlinedpaper,notnewspaper.

“Dude,”hesaysagain.“Youknowyou’vebeenreallyspacedlately?Anyoneelsetellyouthat?”He

ripsapieceofpaperoutofmybinder,thennoticestheedgesofthenewspaper.Heeyesme,andbeforeI

canstophim,hewhipsitout.

Ipounceonhimandtearitoutofhishands,butit’stoolate.He’sseenherpicture.

Beforehecansayaword,Igetinhisfaceandsay,“Youshutup,youhearme?Thisisnotwhatyou

think.”

“Whoa,kickback,willya?Iwasn’tthinkinganything….”ButIcouldseethelittlegearsgoclick-

click-click in his brain. Then he smirks at me and says, “I’m sure you’ve got a perfectly reasonable

explanationforwhyyou’recarryingapictureofJuliBakeraroundwithyou.”

Thewayhesaiditscaredme.Likehewasplayingwiththeideaofroastingmeinfrontofthewhole

class.Ileanedoverandsaid,“Zipit,wouldyou?”

Theteacherhammeredon usto bequiet,butitdidn’t stopGarrett fromsmirkingat me or doing the

double-eyebrow wiggle in the direction of my binder. After class Darla tried to act all cool and

preoccupied,butshehadherradarupandpointedourway.Sheshadowedmepracticallyallday,sothere

wasnorealwindowofopportunitytoexplainthingstoGarrett.

WhatwasIgoingtotellhim,anyway?ThatthepaperwasinmybinderbecauseIwastryingtohideit

frommysister?Thatwouldhelp.

Besides,Ididn’twanttomakeupsomelamelieaboutit.IactuallywantedtotalktoGarrett.Imean,he

wasmyfriend,andalothadhappenedinthelastcoupleofmonthsthatwasweighingonme.Ithoughtthat

if I talked to him, maybe he’d help get me back on track. Help me to stop thinking about everything.

Garrettwasrealreliableinthatarena.

Luckily, in social studies our class got library time to do research for our famous historical figure

report. Darla andJuli were both in that class, butI managed todrag Garrett into a back corner of the

librarywithouteitherofthemnoticing.Andtheminutewewerebyourselves,Ifoundmyselflayinginto

Garrettaboutchickens.

Heshakeshisheadatmeandsays,“Dude!Whatareyoutalkingabout?”

“Rememberwhenwewentandlookedoverherfence?”

“Backinthesixthgrade?”

“Yeah.Rememberhowyouweredownonmeforwonderingwhatahenwas?”

Herolledhiseyes.“Notthisagain….”

“Man,youdidn’tknowjack-diddly-squataboutchickens.Iputmylifeinyourhandsandyoudumped

meinabucketofbull.”

SoItoldhimaboutmydadandtheeggsandsalmonellaandhowI’dbeeninterceptingeggsfornearly

twoyears.

Hejustshruggedandsaid,“Makessensetome.”

“Man,shecaughtme!”

“Who?”

“Juli!”

“Whoa,dude!”

ItoldhimaboutwhatI’dsaid,andhowalmostrightafterthatshewasoutplayingweedwarriorinher

frontyard.

“Well,so?It’snotyourfaultheryard’samess.”

“Butthen I foundout that theydon’t even own thathouse. They’re all poorbecause her dad’s got a

retardedbrotherthatthey’re,youknow,payingfor.”

Garrettgivesmearealchumpygrinandsays,“Aretard?Well,thatexplainsalot,doesn’tit?”

Icouldn’tbelievemyears.“What?”

“Youknow,”hesays,stillgrinning,“aboutJuli.”

Myheartstartedpoundingandmyhandsclenchedup.AndforthefirsttimesinceI’dlearnedtodive

awayfromtrouble,Iwantedtodecksomebody.

Butwewereinthelibrary.Andbesides,itflashedthroughmymindthatifIdeckedhimforwhathe’d

said,he’dturnaroundandtelleveryonethatIwashotforJuliBaker,andIwasnothotforJuliBaker!

SoImademyselflaugh andsay,“Oh, right,”andthencameupwith anexcusetoputsomedistance

betweenhimandme.

AfterschoolGarrettaskedmetocometohishouseandhangforawhile,butIhadzerointerestinthat.

Istillwantedtoslughim.

Itried totalk myself down from feeling thatway, butin mygutIwas flaming mad at the guy. He’d

crossedtheline,man.He’dcrosseditbig-time.

Andwhatmadethewholethingsostinkinghardtoignorewasthefactthatstandingrightnexttohim,on

theothersideoftheline,wasmyfather.

Juli:TheVisit



Sundaymorningsarepeacefulinourhouse.Myfatherletshimselfsleepin.Mymotherletsherselfnot

fixbreakfast.Andifmybrothershavebeenoutlateplayingwiththeirband,youwon’tevenknowthey’re

arounduntilnoon.

UsuallyItiptoeouttocollecteggswhileeveryoneelseisasleep,thenspiritabowlofCheeriosbackto

myroomtohavebreakfastinbedandread.

ButthatSunday—afterspendingmostofthe nightfeeling upsetoruneasy—I wokeupwanting todo

somethingphysical.ToshakeofftheconfusedwayIwasstillfeeling.

WhatIreallyneededwasagoodclimbinmysycamoretree,butIsettledforwateringthelawnwhileI

triedtothinkofotherthings.IcrankedopenthespigotandadmiredhowrichandblackthedirtlookedasI

sprinkledbackandforthacrossthesoil.AndIwasbusytalkingtomyburiedseedlings,coaxingthemto

springupandgreettherisingsun,whenmyfathercameoutside.Hishairwasdampfromashower,andhe

hadagrocerysackrolledclosedinhishand.“Dad!I’msorryifIwokeyou.”

“Youdidn’t,sweetheart.I’vebeenupforawhile.”

“You’renotgoingtowork,areyou?”

“No,I…”Hestudiedmeforamoment,thensaid,“I’mgoingtovisitDavid.”

“UncleDavid?”

Hewalkedtowardhistruck,saying,“That’sright.I…Ishouldbebackaroundnoon.”

“ButDad,whytoday?It’sSunday.”

“Iknow,sweetheart,butit’saspecialSunday.”

Iturnedoffthespigot.“Why’sthat?”

“It’shisfortiethbirthday.Iwanttoseehimanddeliveragift,”hesaidasheheldupthepaperbag.

“Don’tworry.I’llrustleusupsomepancakesforlunch,allright?”

“I’mcomingwithyou,”Isaid,andtossedthehoseaside.Iwasn’tevenreallydressed—I’djustpulled

onsomesweatsandsneakers,nosocks—butinmymindtherewasnodoubt.Iwasgoing.

“Whydon’tyoustayhomeandenjoythemorningwithyourmother?I’msureshewould—”

Iwentovertothepassengersideofhistruckandsaid,“I’mcoming,”thenclimbedinsideandslammed

thedoorbackinplace.

“But—”hesaidthroughthedriver’sdoor.

“I’mcoming,Dad.”

Hestudiedmeamoment,thensaid,“Okay,”andputthebagonthebenchseat.“Letmeleaveanotefor

yourmother.”

Whilehewasinside,Istrappedonthelapbeltandtoldmyselfthatthiswasgood.Thiswassomething

Ishould’vedoneyearsago.UncleDavidwaspartofthefamily,partofmyfather,partofme.Itwasabout

timeIgottoknowhim.

I studied the paper sack sitting next to me. What was my father bringing his brother for his fortieth

birthday?

Ipickeditup.Itwasn’tapainting—itwasmuchtoolightforthat.Plus,itmadeastrange,mutedrattling

noisewhenIshookit.

Iwasjustunrollingthetoptopeekinsidewhenmyfathercamebackthroughthefrontdoor.Idropped

thesackandstraightenedup,andwhenheslidbehindthewheel,Isaid,“It’sokaywithyou,isn’tit?”

Hejustlookedatme,hishandonthekeyintheignition.

“I…I’mnotruiningyourdaywithhimoranything,amI?”

Hecrankedthemotorandsaid,“No,sweetheart.I’mgladyou’recoming.”

Wedidn’tsaymuchtoeachotheronthedriveovertoGreenhaven.Heseemedtowanttolookatthe

sceneryandI,well,Ihadalotofquestions,butnoneIwantedtoask.Itwasnice,though,ridingwithmy

father.Itwaslikethesilenceconnectedusinawaythatexplanationsnevercould.

WhenwearrivedatGreenhaven,myfatherparkedthetruck,butwedidn’tgetoutrightaway.“Ittakes

somegettingusedto,Julianna,butitdoesgrowonyou.Theygrowonyou.They’reallgoodpeople.”

Inodded,butfeltoddlyafraid.

“Comeon,then,”hesaid,takingthesackfromtheseat.“Let’sgoinside.”

Greenhavendidn’tlooklikeanykindofhospitaltome,butitdidn’tlookquitelikeahouse,either.It

wastoolongandrectangularforthat.Thewalkwayhadafadedgreenawningthatcoveredit,andflower

beds alongside with freshly planted pansies that looked muddied and slightly askew. The grass was

patchy,withthreedeepholesdugnearthebuilding.

“Theresidentstendthegrounds,”myfathersaid.“It’spartoftheiroccupationaltrainingprogram,and

it’stherapeutic.ThoseholesarethefuturehomesofPeach,Plum,andPear.”

“Fruittrees?”

“Yes.Thevotecausedquiteacommotion.”

“Amongthe…residents?”

“That’sright.”Heswungopenoneoftheglassdoubledoorsandsaid,“Comeonin.”

It was cool inside. And it smelled of pine cleaner and bleach, with something vaguely pungent

underneath.

Therewasn’tareceptiondeskorwaitingarea,justalargeintersectionwithwhitewallsandnarrow

woodenbenches.Totheleftwasabigroomwithatelevisionandseveralrowsofplasticchairs,tothe

rightwereopenofficedoors,andbesideusweretwopinearmoires.Onewasopen,withhalfadozen

graysweatershungneatlyinarow.

“Goodmorning,Robert!”awomancalledthroughoneoftheofficedoors.

“Goodmorning,Josie,”myfatherreplied.

Shecameouttomeetus,saying,“David’supandabout.Hasbeensincearoundsix.Mabeltellsmeit’s

hisbirthdaytoday.”

“Mabelisrightagain.”Heturnedtomeandsmiled.“Josie,it’smypleasuretointroducemydaughter,

Julianna.Julianna,meetJosieGruenmakker.”

“Wellnow,isn’tthisnice,”Josiesaid,claspingmyhand.“IrecognizeyoufromDavid’sphotoalbum.

You’regettin’readytograduateintohighschool,isn’tthatright?”

Iblinkedather,thenlookedatmydad.I’dneverreallythoughtofitthatway,butIcouldseethathe

had.“Yes,I…IsupposeIam.”

“Josie’sthesiteadministrator.”

“And,”Josieaddedwithalaugh,“I’mnotgraduatin’tonowhere!Beenhereseventeenyears,andI’m

stayingput.”Thephonerangandshehurriedoff,saying,“Gottagetthat.I’llmeetupwithyouinabit.

Checktherecroom,thenhisroom.You’llfindhim.”

Mydadledmearoundacorner,andasweproceededdownahallway,theunderlyingpungentpartof

the smell got stronger. Liketheplace hadhadyears ofMystery Pissers, with no onequiteneutralizing

whathadbeentagged.

Downthehallwasasmallpersonhunchedinawheel-chair.AtfirstIthoughtitwasachild,butaswe

approached,I could see it was a woman.She had almostno hair,andas she gave my dad a toothless

smile,shegrabbedhishandandspoke.

Myheartbottomedout.Thesoundsshemadewerechokedandlostonhertongue.Nothingshesaidwas

intelligible,yetshelookedatmyfatherwithsuchintensity—likeofcourseheunderstoodwhatshewas

saying.

Tomycompletesurprise,hesaid,“You’reabsolutelyright,Mabel.Itistoday.WhichiswhyI’mhere.”

Heheldupthegrocerysackandwhispered,“I’vebroughthimalittlegift.”

“Gwa-aaal,”shesaid.“How’dyouknow?”

She gurgled at him until he patted her hand and said, “I’m much too predictable, I’m afraid. Buthe

enjoysthem,and…”Henoticedhergazeshiftinmydirection.

“Hoohaa,”shesaid.

“Thisismydaughter,Julianna.Julianna,I’dlikeyoutomeettheextraordinaryMissMabel.Shecan

remembereveryone’sbirthday,andshehasarealpassionforstrawberrymilkshakes.”

Imanagedasmileandwhispered,“Nicetomeetyou,”butallIgotinreturnwasasuspiciousscowl.

“Well,we’reofftoDavid’s,”myfathersaid,thenshookthebag.“Don’tspillthebeansifhehappens

by.”

Ifollowedhimtoabedroomdoorway,wherehestoppedandcalled,“David?David,it’sRobert.”

A man appeared at the door. A man I would never have picked out as my father’s brother. He was

stocky,withthickbrownglasses,andhisfacelookedpuffyandpale.Buthethrewhisarmsaroundmy

father’schestandcried,“Wobbad!Yawheew!”

“Yes,Iam,littlebrother.”

Ifollowed them intothe room and saw thatthe walls were covered in a collage ofpuzzles.They’d

beenglueddirectlytothewallsandevenupontheceiling!Itwascozyandcomfortable,andinteresting.I

feltasthoughI’denteredaquiltedcave.

Myfatherheldhisbrotheratarm’slengthandsaid,“AndlookwhoI’vebroughtalong!”

ForasplitsecondDavidlookedalmostfrightened,butthenmyfathersaid,“It’smydaughter,Julianna.”

David’sfacebrokeintoasmile.“Ju-weee-an-na!”hecried,thenpracticallytackledmewithahug.

IthoughtIwasgoingtosuffocate.Myfacewasburiedashesqueezedtheairoutofmeandrockedfrom

sidetoside.Thenwithagiggleheletgoandfloppedintoachair.“Ismooybwuf-day!”

“Iknow,UncleDavid.Happybirthday!”

Hegiggledagain.“Fwankeoow!”

“Webroughtyouapresent,”mydadsaidasheopenedthepapersack.

Beforehehaditout,beforeIsawtheactualsize,IrememberedthesoundithadmadewhenI’dshaken

itinthetruck.Ofcourse!Ithought.Apuzzle.

UncleDavidguessedit,too.“Apuwwwle?”

“Notjustapuzzle,”mydadsaidashepulleditoutofthesack.“Apuzzleandapinwheel.”

Dadhadwrappedthepuzzleboxupinprettybluepaperandhadtapedthered-and-yellowpinwheelon

asabow.UncleDavidsnatchedthepinwheelrightoffandblew.Firstgently,thenfiercely,ingreatspitty

bursts.“Ownge!”hecriedbetweenblows.“Ownge!”

VerygentlyDad tookitfromhimandsmiled.“Red andyellow do makeorange,don’tthey?”David

triedtograbitback,butmyfathersaid,“We’lltakeitoutsidelater.Thewindwillblowitforyou,”and

pressedthepuzzlebackinhishands.

Asthewrappingpaperfellinshredsonthefloor,Ileanedintoseewhatsortofpuzzlemyfatherhad

boughthimandgasped.Threethousandpieces!Andtheimagewassimplywhitecloudsandbluesky.No

shading,notrees—nothingbutthecloudsandthesky.

Myfatherpointedtoaspotinthecenteroftheceiling.“Ithoughtitwouldfitjustrightoverthere.”

UncleDavidlookedupandnodded,thenlungedforhispinwheelandsaid,“Owsiiide?”

“Sure.Let’sgooutforawalk.FeellikegoingdowntoMcElliot’sforabirthdayicecream?”

UncleDavid’sheadbobbedupanddown.“Yaaah!”

We checked outthrough Josie, thenheaded down the street. David can’t walk very fast because his

bodyseemstowanttomoveinwardinsteadofforward.Hisfeetpigeon-toeandhisshouldershunchin,

andheseemedtoleanonmyfatherprettyheavilyaswemovedalong.

Buthekeptthatpinwheelinfrontofhim,watchingitspin,cryingeverynowandthen,“Owwwange,

owwwange!”

McElliot’sturnedouttobeadrugstorewithanicecreamparlorinside.Therewasared-and-white-

stripedawningovertheicecreamcounter,andtherewerelittlewhitetablesandchairssetinanareawith

red-and-white-stripedwallpaper.Itwasveryfestive-looking,especiallyforbeinginsideadrugstore.

Dadgotusallcones,andonceweweresittingdown,DadandDaviddidtalktoeachothersome,but

mostlyDavidwantedtoeathischocolatefudgeswirl.Myfathersmiledatmefromtimetotime,andI

smiledback,butIfeltdisconnected.Howmanytimeshadthetwoofthemcomehereforicecream?How

manybirthdayshadmyfathercelebratedwithhisbrotherlikethis?HowlonghadheknownMabeland

JosieandtherestofthepeopleatGreenhaven?Howcoulditbethatinalltheseyears,I’dneverspentany

timewithmyuncle?Itwaslikemyfatherhadasecretlifeawayfromme.Acompletefamilyawayfrom

me.

Ididn’tlikeit.Didn’tunderstandit.AndIwasgettingmyselfprettyworkedupaboutitwhenDavid’s

conecrushedinhisgrip,causinghisicecreamtoflopontothetable.

Beforemydadcouldstophim,Davidpickeduptheicecreamandtriedtocramitbackontothecone.

Buttheconewasshatteredandtheicecreamfelloveragain,onlythistimeitlandedonthefloor.

Mydadsaid,“Leaveit,David.I’llgetyouanewone,”butDaviddidn’tlisten.Hischairshotbackand

hedoveafterit.

“No,David!Letmegetyouanewone.”Mydadpulledhimbythearm,butDavidwouldn’tbudge.He

grabbedtheicecreamandcrammeditbackontowhatwasleftofhiscone,andwhenthebottompartof

hisconecrumbledcompletelyaway,hestartedscreaming.

Itwasawful.Hewaslikeatwo-hundred-poundinfant,throwingatantrumonthefloor.Hewasyelling

wordsIcouldn’tunderstand,andafteraminuteoftryingtocalmhimdown,myfathersaid,“Julianna,can

yougethimanothercone?”

Themanbehindthecounterscoopedasfastashecould,butinthatshorttimeDavidknockedovera

table and two chairs with his flailing and managed to smear chocolate everywhere. The checkers and

customersattheregistersseemedfrozenwithterror—likeDavidwassomesortofmonsterouttodestroy

theworld.

Igavethenewconetomyfather,whohandedittoDavid,rightthereonthefloor.AndwhileDavidsat

there eating it,my father andIworkedaround him, puttingeverythingback inorder andwipingupthe

mess.

OnthewalkbacktoGreenhaven,Davidactedlikenothinghadhappened.Hespurtedintohispinwheel

andcried,“Owwwange!”fromtimetotime,butwhenmydadheldopenthefrontdoor,Icouldtellthat

Davidwastired.

DowninhisroomDavidplacedthepinwheelonhisbedandpickedupthepuzzlebox.“Whydon’tyou

takearestbeforeyougetstartedonit?”mydadasked.

Davidshookhishead.“Naaow.”

“Okay,then.Letmehelpyousetitup.”

My father pulled a card table from beneath the bed, then swung the legs out and snapped them into

place. After he had itshoved upagainstthe wall near the bed, he moved a chair close to it and said,

“Thereyouare.Allsetup.”

Davidhadtheboxopenandwasalreadysiftingthroughthepieces.“Aaaasagouwwwone,Wobbad.”

“I’mgladyoulikeit.YouthinkyoumighthaveitdonebyWednesday?Icancomebackandglueiton

theceilingforyouthenifyou’dlike.”

Davidnodded,buthewasalreadyintentonthepuzzle,carefullylayingpiecesonthetable.Myfather

puthishandonhisshoulderandsaid,“I’llseeyouWednesdaythen,okay?”

Henodded.

“Willyousaygood-byetoJulianna?”

“Baaawye,”hesaid,buthedidn’tlookupfromhisboxofpieces.

“Seeyoulater,UncleDavid.”Itriedtosoundcheerful,butIdidn’tfeelthatway.

Whenwegotbackintothetruck,mydadclickedonhisseatbeltandsaid,“So.”

Ijustlookedathimandtriedtosmile.

“AreyouasexhaustedasIam?”hesaid.

Inodded.“Everythingwasfine—exceptfortheicecream.”

Dad chuckled. “Except forthe ice cream.” Then heturnedserious. “The trouble is, younever know

what‘theicecream’isgoingtobe.Sometimesit’saflyintheroom.Sometimesit’sthefeelofhissocks.

It’shardtopredicteverything.Usuallygettingicecreamissafe.”Heshookhisheadandclosedhiseyes,

thinkingthingsIcouldn’timagine.Finallyheturnedtheignitionandsaid,“Davidlivedwithyourmother

andmeforawhile.Beforeyoukidswereborn.Wethoughtitwouldbebetterforhimtolivewithusthan

tobeinahome,butwewerewrong.”

“Butoverall,everythingwentokaytoday….”

He ground the gearshift into reverse. “David has many, many special needs, both emotional and

physical.YourmomandIcouldn’thandlethemall.Fortunatelyhe’shappyhere.Theyhaveprogramsto

teachhimhowtocareforhimself—howtodressandbatheandbrushhisteeth,howtoactaroundothers

andcommunicate.Theygoonoutings,andhehasajobdoingmailingsforadoctor’soffice….”

“Hedoes?”

“Hegoesthereeverymorningduringtheweektofoldmailingsandfillenvelopes.Greenhaven’sbeen

sogoodforhim.Hegetsanincredibleamountofindividualizedattention.Hehashisownroom,hisown

friends,hisownlife.”

AfteraminuteIsaid,“Buthe’spartofthefamily,Dad.Anditjustdoesn’tseemrightthathe’snever

beenoverforavisit.NotevenonChristmasorThanksgiving!”

“Hedoesn’twantto,sweetheart.OneyearyourmotherandIinsistedhespendThanksgivingwithus,

anditwasthebiggestdisasteryoucanimagine.Hebrokeawindowoutofthecar,hewasthatupset.”

“But…whyhaven’twebeenvisitinghim?Iknowyouhave,buttherestofus.Whynot?”

“Well,it’sdraining.Yourmotherfindsitincrediblydepressing,andIunderstandthat.Webothagreed

thatitwasnoplacetotakesmall children.”Heacceleratedontothe highway, silentbehindthe wheel.

Finallyhesaid,“Theyearsjustseemtoslipaway,Julianna.Onedayyouhaveababyinyourarms,and

thenextyourealizeshe’sverynearlyawoman.”Hesmiledatmesadly.“IloveDavid,butheisaburden,

andIguessIwantedtoprotectyoufromthat.ButIrealizenowthatallofthishasaffectedyouandthe

family.”

“ButDad,it’snot—”

“Julianna,whatI’mtryingtotellyouisI’msorry.TherewassomuchIwantedtogiveyou.Allofyou.

IguessIdidn’tseeuntilrecentlyhowlittleI’veactuallyprovided.”

“That’snottrue!”

“Well,Ithinkyouknowmyheart’sbeenintherightplace,butifyoulineitupobjectively,amanlike,

say,Mr.Loskiaddsuptoamuchbetterhusbandandfatherthanamanlikemedoes.He’saroundmore,he

providesmore,andhe’sprobablyalotmorefun.”

Mydad wasn’toneto go fishingfor compliments or signs of appreciation, butstill,Icouldn’t quite

believeheactuallythought that. “Dad,I don’tcare how it looks onpaper,I thinkyou’re the best dad

ever!AndwhenImarrysomebodysomeday,Isuredon’twanthimtobelikeMr.Loski!Iwanthimtobe

likeyou.”

Helookedatmelikehecouldn’tquitebelievehis ears.“Isthatso,”hesaidwithagrin.“Well,I’ll

remindyouofthatasyoursomedayapproaches.”

Thatturnedtherestofthetriparound.Welaughedandjokedandtalkedaboutallkindsofthings,butas

wenearedhome,therewasonethingtheconversationkeptturningbackto.

Pancakes.

Mymother,though,hadotherplans.She’dspentthemorningscrubbingfloorsandnixedthepancakes.

“Ineedsomethingwithmorestayingpower.Likegrilledham-and-cheese.Withonions,”shesaid.“Lots

ofonions!”

“Scrubbingfloors?”mydadsaid.“It’sSunday,Trina.Whywereyouscrubbingfloors?”

“Nervousenergy.”Shelookedatme.“How’ditgo?”

“Okay.I’mgladIwent.”

Sheglancedatmydadandthenatme.“Well,good,”shesighed,thensaid,“Ialsofeltlikescrubbing

becauseIgotacallfromPatsy.”

“Loski?”mydadasked.“Issomethingwrong?”

Mymotherpushedafewwispsofhairbackandsaid,“No….Shecalledtoinviteusoverfordinner

onFriday.”

Weblinkedatheramoment;thenIasked,“Allofus?”

“Yes.”

Icouldseewhatmydadwasthinking:Why?Alltheseyearsoflivingacrossthestreet,andwe’dnever

beeninvitedover.Whynow?

My mom could see it, too. She sighed and said, “Robert, I don’t exactly know why, but she was

insistent.Shewaspracticallyintears,sayinghowsorryshewasthatshe’dneverinvitedusbeforeand

howshe’dreallyliketogettoknowusbetter.”

“Whatdidyoutellher?”

“Icouldn’tverywellsayno.Shewasbeingsonice,andChethasreallydonealot….”Sheshrugged

andsaid,“Isaidwe’dgo.It’ssetforsixo’clockFridaynight.”

“Really?”Iasked.

Sheshruggedagain.“Ithinkitmightbenice.Alittlestrange,butnice.”

“Well,okaythen,”mydadsaid.“Iwon’tscheduleanyovertimeforFriday.Whatabouttheboys?”

“There’snogigonthecalendar,andthey’renotscheduledtowork,butIhaven’ttalkedtothemaboutit

yet.”

“Areyousuretheywantusalloverthere?”mydadasked.

Mymomnodded.“Sheinsists.”

IcouldtellthewholeideaofdinnerattheLoskis’wasmakingmydadprettyuncomfortable,butwe

couldbothseethatsomethingaboutthisinvitationmeantalottomymother.“Allrightthen,”hesaid,and

gottoworkslicingcheeseandonions.

Fortherestoftheafternoon,Isortoflazedaround,readinganddaydreaming.Andatschoolthenext

day, I couldn’t seem to concentrate. My thoughts kept turning back to David. I wondered what my

grandparentshadbeenlike,andwhatthey’dgonethrough,havingasonlikehim.

I daydreamed a lotaboutthe sycamore tree, too,which at first I thought was because I was feeling

melancholy.ButthenIrememberedhowmymotherhadcalledthesycamoreatestimonytoendurance.It

hadsurvivedbeingdamagedasasapling.Ithadgrown.Otherpeoplethoughtitwasugly,butIneverhad.

Maybeitwasallhowyoulookedatit.MaybetherewerethingsIsawasuglythatotherpeoplethought

werebeautiful.

LikeShellyStalls.Aperfectexample!Tometherewasabsolutelynothingtorecommendher,butthe

restoftheworldseemedtothinkshewasthecat’smeow.

Me-ow.

Anyway,Isortofdriftedthroughtheweeklikethat.UntilThursday.Thursdayoursocialstudiesclass

wenttothelibrarytodoresearchforourfamoushistoricalfigurereport.I’dchosenSusanB.Anthonyand

herfightfortherighttovote,andIwasinthemiddleoftrackingdownsomebookswhenDarlaTressler

flaggedmefromtheendofastack.

Darlawasinafewofmyclasses,butweweren’treallyfriends,soIlookedbehindmetoseewhoelse

shemightbeflagging.

“Comehere!”shemouthed,franticallywavingmeover.

SoIhurriedover.Shepointedthroughthecolumnofbooksandwhispered,“Listen!”

ItwasGarrett’svoice.AndthenBryce’s.Andtheyweretalkingabout…me.Aboutmychickens.And

salmonellapoisoning.AndhowBrycehadbeenthrowingawaymyeggs.Andaboutmefixingupouryard.

Brycewassoundinglikehefeltreallybad,butthensuddenlymybloodrancold.Hewastalkingabout

David!

AndthenGarrettlaughedandsaid,“Aretard?Well,thatexplainsalot,doesn’tit?Youknow…about

Juli?”

For a second, there was silence. And at that moment Iwas sure they must be able to hear myheart

poundinginmychest,butthenBrycelaughedandsaid,“Oh,right.”

Ipositivelycrumbledontothefloor.Andin a flashthevoicesweregone.Darlachecked aroundthe

corner,thensatbesideme,saying,“Oh,Jules,I’mso,sosorry.Ithoughthewasabouttoconfessthathe’s

beencrushingonyou.”

“What?Darla,Brycedoesnothaveacrushonme.”

“Where have you been? Haven’t you noticed the way he’s been looking at you? That boy is lost in

Loveland.”

“Oh,obviously!Youjustheardhim,Darla!”

“Yeah,butyesterday,yesterdayIcaughthimstaringatyouandhesaidtherewasabeeinyourhair.A

bee,girl.Isthatthelamestcover-upyou’veeverheardorwhat?”

“Darla,thewaythingshavebeengoing,Iwouldn’tbesurprisediftherewasabeeinmyhair.”

“Oh,youthinkyou’rethatsweet,huh?Justattractbees likehoney?Well,honey,theonlybee you’re

attracting around here is B-r-y-c-e. Cute, yeah. But after what I just heard, I’d stomp and grind, girl.

Stompandgrind.”Shegotuptogobutturnedandsaid,“Don’tworry.Iwon’tjabber.”

IjustshookmyheadandforgotaboutDarla.Howwrongcouldapersonbe.

It was what Bryce and Garrett had said that I couldn’t forget. How could they be so cruel? And so

stupid?Isthiswhatmyfatherhadgonethroughgrowingup?

ThemoreIthoughtaboutit,theangrierIgot.WhatrightdidBrycehavetomakefunofmyuncle?How

darehe!

Ifeltfireburninmycheeksandacold,hardknottighteninmyheart.AndinaflashIknew—Iwas

through with Bryce Loski. He could keep his brilliant blue eyes. He could keep his two-faced smile

and…andmykiss.That’sright!Hecouldkeepthat,too.Iwasnever,evergoingtotalktohimagain!

IstormedbacktothesectionofbooksonSusanB.Anthony,foundtwothatwouldwork,andthenwent

backtomytable.ButasIwascollectingmythingstocheckoutofthelibrary,Iremembered.Thenextday

weweregoingtotheLoskis’housefordinner.

Izippedupmybackpackandthrewitonmyshoulder.Surelyafterwhathadhappened,Ihadtherightto

voteagainstgoing!

Didn’tI?

Bryce:TheSeriousWillies



RealizingthatmyfatherhadthesamesenseofhumorasGarrettgavemetheseriouswillies.Ihadthe

hardesttimejustlookingatmydad,letalonespeakingtohim.Butataboutfiveo’clockFridayafternoonI

agreedwithhimaboutone thing—weshould’ve barbecued. A barbecue ismore, youknow,low-key.

Instead,mymomwasflyingaroundthekitchen,slicinganddicingandbarkingordersatDadandmelike

thepresidentwascomingtodinner.

Wesweptthefloor,putanextraleafinthetable,broughtinfivemorechairs,andsetthetable.Wesetit

allwrong,ofcourse,butallmymotherhadtodowasshufflethingsaroundtomakeitright.Itlookedthe

sametome,butwhatdoIknow?

Sheputoutcandlesticksandsaid,“Rick,canyouloadthedishesandrunthem?I’dlikeachancetoget

cleanedup.Afterthatyoucanchange.AndBryce?Whatareyouwearing?”

“Mom,it’stheBakers.Areyoutryingtomakethemfeeltotallyworthless?”

“TrinaandIagreedonadress-up,so—”

“Butwhy?”

Mydadputahandonmyshoulderandsaid,“Sowecanallfeelequallyuncomfortable,son.”

Women.Ilookedatherandsaid,“DoesthatmeanIhavetowearatie?”

“No,butsomesortofbutton-downinsteadofaT-shirtwouldbenice.”

Iwentdowntomyroomandrippedthroughmyclosetlookingforsomethingwithbuttons.Therewere

lots of buttons, all right. Lots of geeky buttons. I thought about boycotting my mother’s dress-code

requirements,butinsteadIstartedputtingonshirts.

TwentyminuteslaterIstillwasn’tdressed.AndIwasextremelytickedoffaboutitbecausewhatdidit

matter?WhydidIcarewhatIlookedlikeatthisstupiddinner?Iwasactinglikeagirl.

ThenthroughagapinmycurtainsIsawthemcoming.Outtheirfrontdoor,downtheirwalkway,across

thestreet.Itwaslikeaweirddream.Theyseemedtobefloatingtowardourhouse.Allfiveofthem.

Ipulledashirtoffmybed,punchedmyarmsin,andbuttonedup.

TwosecondslaterthedoorbellrangandMomcalled,“Canyougetthat,Bryce?”

Luckily,Granddadbeatmetoit.Hegreetedthemallliketheywerelong-lostfamilyandevenseemed

toknowwhichonewasMattandwhichonewasMike.Onewaswearingapurpleshirtandtheotherwas

wearingagreenone,soitshouldn’thavebeenthathardtorememberwhichwaswhich,buttheycamein

andpinchedmycheeksandsaid,“Hey,babybrother!How’sitgoin’?”andIgotsomadImixedthemup

again.

Mymotherzoomedinfromthekitchen,saying,“Comein,comein.It’ssoniceyouallcouldmakeit.”

Shecalled,“Lyn-et-ta!Rick!We’vegotcom-pa-ny!”butthenstoppedshortwhenshesawJuliandMrs.

Baker.“Well,what’sthis?”sheasked.“Homemadepies?”

Mrs.Bakersaid,“Blackberrycheesecakeandpecan.”

“Theylookwonderful!Absolutelywonderful!”MymotherwasactingsohyperIcouldn’tbelieveit.

ShetookJuli’spie,thenwhooshedapathtothekitchenwithMrs.Baker.

Lynettaappearedfromaroundthecorner,whichmadeMattandMikegrinandsay,“Hey,Lyn.Lookin’

good.”

Blackskirt,blacknails,blackeyes—foranocturnalrodent,yeah,Isupposeshewaslookinggood.

They disappeared down to Lynetta’s room, and when I turned around, my granddad was taking Mr.

Bakerintothefrontroom,whichleftmeintheentryhallwithJuli.Alone.

She wasn’t looking at me. She seemed to be looking at everything but me. And I felt like an idiot,

standingthereinmygeekybutton-downshirtwithpinchedcheeksandnothingtosay.AndIgotsonervous

abouthavingnothingtosaythatmyheartstartedgoingwackoonme,hammeringlikeitdoesrightbeforea

raceoragameorsomething.

Ontopofthat,shelookedmorelikethatstupidpictureinthepaperthanthepicturedid,ifthatmakes

any sense. Not because she was all dressed up — she wasn’t. She was wearing some normal-looking

dressandnormal-lookingshoes,andherhairwasthewayitalwaysisexceptmaybealittlemorebrushed

out.Itwasthewayshewaslookingateverythingbutme,withhershouldersbackandherchinoutandher

eyesflashing.

Weprobablyonlystoodthereforfiveseconds,butitfeltlikeayear.FinallyIsaid,“Hi,Juli.”

Hereyesflashedatme,andthat’swhenitsankin—shewasmad.Shewhispered,“Iheardyouand

Garrettmakingfunofmyuncleinthelibrary,andIdon’twanttospeaktoyou!Youunderstandme?Not

now,notever!”

Mymindwasracing.Wherehadshebeen?Ihadn’tseenheranywherenearmeinthelibrary!Andhad

sheheardit?Orhadshehearditfromsomebodyelse.

Itriedtotellheritwasn’tme,thatitwasGarrett,allGarrett.Butsheshutmedownandmadetracksfor

thefrontroomtobewithherdad.

SoI’mstandingthere,wishingI’dpunchedGarrettoutinthelibrarysoJuliwouldn’tstickmeinthe

sameclassassomeonewhomakesretardjokes,whenmydadshowsupandclapsmeontheshoulder.

“So.How’stheparty,son?”

Speakofthedevil.Iwantedtowhackhishandoffmyshoulder.

Heleansoutsohecanseeintothefrontroomandsays,“Hey,thedadcleansupprettygood,doesn’t

he?”

Ishrugawayfromhim.“Mr.Baker’snameisRobert,Dad.”

“Yeah,youknow,Iknewthat.”Herubshishandstogetherandsays,“IguessIoughttogoinandsay

hello.Coming?”

“Nah.Momprobablyneedsmyhelp.”

Ididn’trunofftothekitchen,though.IstoodthereandwatchedMr.Bakershakemyfather’shand.And

astheystoodtherepumpingandsmiling,thisweirdfeelingstartedcomingovermeagain.NotaboutJuli

—aboutmyfather.StandingnexttoMr.Baker,helookedsmall.Physicallysmall.Andcomparedtothe

cutofMr.Baker’sjaw,mydad’sfacelookedkindofweaselly.

Thisisnotthewayyouwanttofeelaboutyourfather.WhenIwaslittle,I’dalwaysthoughtthatmydad

was right about everything and that there wasn’t a man on earth he couldn’t take. But standing there

lookingin,IrealizedthatMr.Bakercouldsquashhimlikeabug.

Worse,though,wasthewayhewasacting.WatchingmydadchumitupwithJuli’sdad—itwaslike

seeinghimlie.ToMr.Baker,toJuli,tomygrandfather—toeverybody.Whywashebeingsuchaworm?

Whycouldn’thejustactnormal?Youknow,civil?Whydidhehavetoputonsuchaphonyshow?This

wentwaybeyondkeepingthepeacewithmymother.Thiswasdisgusting.

And people said I was the spitting image of my father. How often had I heard that one? I’d never

thoughtaboutitmuch,butnowitwasturningmystomach.

Momjingledthedinnerbellandcalled,“Horsd’oeuvresareready!”andthensawmestillstandingin

thehallway.“Bryce,where’dyoursisterandtheboysgo?”

Ishrugged.“Downtoherroom,Ithink.”

“Gotellthem,wouldyou?Andthencomehavesomehorsd’oeuvres.”

“Sure,”Isaid.Anythingtogetridofthetasteinmymouth.

Lynetta’s door was closed. And normally I would have knocked and called, Mom wants you, or,

Dinner!orsomething,butinthatsplitsecondbeforemyknuckleshitwood,myhandbecamepossessedby

EvilBabyBrother.Iturnedtheknobandwalkedrightin.

DoesLynettafreakoutorthrowstuffatmeandscreamformetogetout?No.Sheignoresme.Matt-

and-Mike give me a nod, and Lynetta sees me, butshe’s got her hands over some headphones and her

wholebody’sbobbingupanddownasshelistenstoaportableCDplayer.

Matt-or-Mikewhispers,“It’saboutover.We’llberightthere,”likeofcourseIwastheretosayitwas

timetoeat.WhatelsewouldIbedoingthere?

Somethingaboutthatmademefeel,Idon’tknow,leftout.Iwasn’tevenapersontothoseguys.Iwas

justbabybrother.

Nothingnewthere,butnowitreallybuggedme.LikeallofasuddenIdidn’tfitinanywhere.Notat

school, not at home … and every time I turned around, another person I’d known forever felt like a

strangertome.EvenIfeltlikeastrangertome.

Standingaroundeatinglittleroundcrackerssmearedwithwhippedcheeseandfisheggsdidn’tdomuch

formymoodeither.Mymotherwasactinglikeanentireswarmofbusybees.Shewaseverywhere.Inthe

kitchen,outofthekitchen.Servingdrinks,handingoutnapkins.Explainingthefood,butnoteatingathing.

Lynetta didn’t buy Mom’s explanation on the hors d’oeuvres — she wound up dissecting hers,

categorizingthepartsintogross,disgusting,andrevolting.

Hangingnearherdidn’tstoptheBakerboysfromshovingcrackersinwhole,though.Man,Iwasjust

waitingforthemtowrapthemselvesaroundatablelegandflex.

Juli,herdad,andmygrandfatherwereofftothesidetalkingnonstopaboutsomething,andmydadwas

overwithMrs.BakerlookingaboutasstupidasIfelt,standingbymyselftalkingtonoone.

Mymomfluttersovertomeandsays,“Youdoingokay,honey?”

“Yeah,”Itellher,butsheforcesmeovertowhereGranddadisanyway.“Goon,goon,”shewhispers.

“Dinnerwillbereadyinaminute.”

SoIstandthereandthegroupofthemopensup,butit’smorelikeareflexthananything.Noonesaysa

wordtome.Theyjustkeeprightontalkingaboutperpetualmotion.

Perpetualmotion.

My friend, Ididn’t even know what perpetual motion was. They were talking closed systems, open

systems,resistance,energysource,magnetism…itwaslikejoiningadiscussioninadifferentlanguage.

And Juli, Juli was saying stuff like, “Well, what if you put the magnets back to back — reversed the

polarity?”likeshereallyunderstoodwhattheyweretalkingabout.Thenmygranddadandherdadwould

explainwhyherideawouldn’twork,butallthatdidwasmakeJuliaskanotherquestion.

Iwascompletelylost.AndeventhoughIwaspretendingtofollowalongwithwhattheyweresaying,

whatIwasreallydoingwastryingnottostareatJuli.

Whenmymomcalledusfordinner,IdidmybesttopullJuliasideandapologizetoher,butshegave

methecoldshoulder,andwhocouldblameher,really?

Isatdownacrossfromher,feelingprettylow.Whyhadn’tIsaidsomethingtoGarrettinthelibrary?I

didn’thavetopunchhim.Whyhadn’tIjusttoldhimhewasoutofline?

AfterMomservedeveryonetheirfood,Dadseemedtodecidethatheoughttobetheonedirectingthe

conversation.“So,MikeandMatt,”hesays,“you’reseniorsthisyear.”

“Amen!”theysaytogether.

“Amen?Asinyou’regladhighschool’sover?”

“Absolutely.”

Myfatherstartstwirlinghisfork.“Why’sthat?”

MattandMikelookateachother,thenbackatmydad.“Theregurgitationgetstoyouafterawhile.”

“Isn’tthatfunny,” hesays, lookingaround thetable. “High school wasprobablythebesttimeofmy

life.”

Matt-or-Mikesays,“Seriously?Dude,it’stotallylame!”Mrs.Bakershootshimalook,butthatdoesn’t

stophim.“Well,itis,Mom.It’sthatwholerobotronattitudeofeducation.Confine,confute,conform—

I’vehadtotallyenoughofthatscene.”

MydadeyesmymomwithalittleI-told-you-sogrin,thensaystoMattandMike,“SoItakeitcollege

isoutofthequestion?”

God,whatwaswithhim?InaflashIwasclutchingmyforkandknife,readytodukeitoutforacouple

ofguyswhopinchedmycheeksandcalledmebabybrother.

Itookadeepbreathandtriedtorelax.Triedtodivedowntocalmerwater.Thiswasn’tmyfight.

Besides, Matt and Mike seemed cool with it. “Oh, no,” they said. “College is a total possibility.”

“Yeah,wegotacceptedacoupleofplaces,butwe’regoingtogivethemusicthingashotfirst.”

“Oh,themusicthing,”myfathersays.

MattandMikelookateachother,thenshrugandgetbacktoeating.ButLynettaglaresathimandsays,

“Yoursarcasmisnotappreciated,Dad.”

“Lyn,Lyn,”saysMatt-or-Mike.“It’scool.Everyone’slikethataboutit.It’sashow-me-don’t-tell-me

thing.”

“That’sagreatidea,”Lynettasays,jumpingoutofherseatanddashingdownthehall.

Mom freezes, not sure what to do about Lynetta, but then Mrs. Baker says, “Dinner is absolutely

delicious,Patsy.”

“Thanks,Trina.It’s…it’snicetohaveallofyouover.”

There’saboutthreesecondsofquietandthenLynettacomesinandjabsattheCDplayerbuttonsuntil

thedrawerslidesbackin.

“Lyn,no!Notagoodidea,”saysMatt-or-Mike.“Yeah,Lyn.It’snotexactlydinnermusic.”

“Tough,”saysLynetta,andcranksthevolume.

Boom, whack! Boom-boom, whack! The candles practically shake in their holders; then guitars rip

throughtheairandaboutblowthemout.MattandMikelookupatthespeakers,thengrinateachother

andcallovertomydad,“Surroundsound—awesomesetup,Mr.Loski!”

Alltheadultsweredyingtojumpupandturnthethingdown,butLynettastoodguardandjustglowered

atthem.Andwhenthesong’sover,LynettapullsouttheCD,punchesofftheplayer,andthensmiles—

actuallysmiles—atMattandMikeandsays,“Thatistheraddestsong.Iwanttohearitagainandagain

andagain.”

Matt-or-Mikesaystomydad,“Youprobablydon’tlikeit,butit’swhatwedo.”

“Youboyswrotethatsong?”

“Uh-huh.”

HemotionsLynettatopasstheCDover,saying,“Justtheonesong?”

Matt-or-Mikelaughsandsays,“Dude,we’vegotathousandsongs,butthere’sonlythreeonthedemo.”

DadholdsuptheCD.“Thisisthedemo?”

“Yeah.”

Helooksatitaminuteandsays,“Soifyou’rePissPoor,howdoyouaffordtopressCDs?”

“Dad!”Lynettasnapsathim.

“It’sokay,Lyn.Justajoke,right,Mr.Loski?”

My dad laughs a little and says, “Right,” but then adds, “Although I am a little curious. This is

obviously not a home-done demo, and I happen to know studio time’s cost-prohibitive for most

bands….”

MattandMikeinterrupthimwithaslamminghardhighfive.AndwhileI’mgettinguptightaboutmy

dadaskingthemquestionsaboutmoney,ofallthings,mymom’sfumblingalloverherself,tryingtosweep

awaymydad’sbigpawprints.“WhenRickandImet,hewasplayinginaband….”



Poached salmon was suddenly swimming down the wrong hatch. And while I’m choking, Lynetta’s

buggingoutherraccooneyes,gasping,“You?Playedinaband?Whatdidyouplay,clarinet?”

“No,honey,”mymomsays,tryingtoholditalltogether.“Yourfatherplayedguitar.”

“Guitar?”

“Cool!”Matt-or-Mikesays.“Rock?Country?Jazz?”

“Country,”mydadsays.“Whichisnothingtoscoffat,boys.”

“Dude!Weknow.Totalrespect,man.”

“Andwhenourbandlookedintogettingademomade,itwasastronomicallyexpensive.Thatwasina

bigcity,wheretherewasalittlecompetition.Gettingademomadearoundhere?Ididn’tevenknowthere

wasafacility.”

MattandMikearestillgrinning.“There’snot.”

“Sowhere’dyougo?Andhow’dyouaffordit?”Mymotherwhackshimunderthetableagain,sohe

says,“I’mjustcurious,Patsy!”

MattandMikeleanin.“Wediditourselves.”

“This right here? You did this yourselves? That’s impossible.” He’s looking almost mad about it.

“How’dyougetthegear?”

Mymomkickshimagain,butDadturnsonherandsays,“Stopit,wouldyou?I’mjustcurious!”

Matt-or-Mike says, “It’s cool, Mrs. Loski.” He smiles at my dad and says, “We kept cruising the

Internetandthetradeslookingforadeal.Everyone’sblowingouttheiroldanaloggearfordigitalbecause

that’sthemoveeveryoneelsehasmade.Digital,ifyouwanttoknowouropinion,isweak.Youlosetoo

muchofthewaveform.There’snotenoughfattoit,andobviouslywelikeitbeefy.”

Mygranddadputsupafingerandsays,“ButaCD’sdigital,so…”

“Exactly,butthatisthelastandonlystepwe’llcompromiseon.It’sjustanecessityofbeingpartofthe

industry.EveryonewantsCDs.Butthemultitrackandthemixdowntotwo-trackisanalog.Andwecould

afford it, Mr. Loski, because we got used gear and we’ve been saving up our pennies since we were

twelveyearsold.”Hegrinsandsays,“Youstillplay?Wecould,youknow,laydownsomeofyourtunes

ifyouwant.”

Mydadlooksdown,andforasecondIcouldn’ttellifhewasgoingtogetmadorcry.Thenhesortof

snortsandsays,“Thanks,butthat’snotmeanymore.”

Whichwasprobablytheonlyhonestthingmydadsaidallnight.Afterthathewasquiet.He’dtryto

plasterupasmilenowandthen,butman,underneathithewasbroody.AndIwasfeelingkindofbadfor

him.Washethinkingaboutthegoodolddaysplayinginaband?Itriedpicturinghimincowboybootsand

acowboyhat,withaguitarstrappedacrosshisshoulder,playingsomeoldWillieNelsonsong.

Hewasright—itjustwasn’thim.

Butthefactthatiteverhadbeenmademefeelevenmorelikeastrangerinastrangeland.Then,when

thenightwasoverandtheBakerswerepilingoutthefrontdoor,somethingelsestrangehappened.Juli

touchedmyarm.Andforthefirsttimethatnightshewaslookingatme.Itwasthatlook,too,channeled

directly andsolely atme.Shesays,“I’m sorryIwasso angry whenwe firstcamein.Everyonehada

goodtime,andIthinkyourmom’sreallyniceforinvitingus.”

Hervoicewasquiet.Almostawhisper.Ijuststoodtherelikeamoron,staringather.

“Bryce?”shesays,touchingmyarmagain.“Didyouhearme?I’msorry.”

Imanagedanod,butmyarmwastingling,andmyheartwaspounding,andIfeltmyselfpullingtoward

her.

Thenshewasgone.Outthedoorandintothenight,partofachorusofhappygood-byes.Itriedtocatch

mybreath.Whatwasthat?Whatwaswrongwithme?

Mymotherclosedthedoorandsaid,“There.NowwhatdidItellyou?Thatisonedelightfulfamily!

ThoseboysarenothinglikeIexpected.Lynetta,whydidn’tyoutellmetheywereso…socharming!”

“They’redrugdealersiswhattheyare.”

Everyoneturnedtomyfatheranddroppedtheirjaws.

“What?”mymothersaid.

“Thereisnootherwaythoseboyscouldaffordtobuyrecordinggearlikethat.”HeglaredatLynetta.

“Isn’tthatso?”

Lynetta’seyeslookedliketheyweregoingtopoprightoutofherhead.

“Rick,please!”mymothersaid.“Youcan’tjustmakeaccusationslikethat!”

“It’stheonlythingthatmakessense,Patsy.Believeme,Iknowhowmusiciansare.Thereisnoother

explanationforthis.”

Lynettashouted,“Ihappentoknowforafactthattheydon’tuseordeal.Wheredoyougetoffsaying

somethinglikethat?Youaresuchatwo-faced,condescending,narrow-mindedjackass!”

Therewasasplitsecondofsilence,andthenheslappedher,smack,rightacrossthecheek.

That put my mother in his face like I’d never seen and sent my sister screaming insults over her

shoulderassherandowntoherroom.

Myheartwaspounding.LynettawasrightandIalmost,almostgotinhisface,too,andtoldhimso.But

thenmygranddadpulledmeasideandwebothretreatedtoourownlittlecornersofthehouse.

Pacingaroundmyroom,IhadtheurgetogotalktoLynetta.Totellherthatshewasright,thatDadwas

wayoutofline.ButIcouldhearherthroughthewalls,cryingandscreamingwhilemymomtriedtocalm

herdown.Thenshe stormedout ofthehouseto who-knows-where,and mymom took upwithmy dad

again.

SoIstayedput.Andeventhoughtheearthquitquakingaroundeleveno’clock,thereweretremorsout

there.Icouldfeelthem.

AsIlayinmybedstaringoutthewindowatthesky,Ithoughtabouthowmydadhadalwayslooked

downontheBakers.Howhe’dputdowntheirhouseandtheiryardandtheircarsandwhattheydidfora

living.Howhe’dcalledthemtrashandmadefunofMr.Baker’spaintings.

AndnowIwasseeingthattherewassomethingreallycoolaboutthatfamily.Allofthem.Theywere

just…real.

Andwhowerewe?Therewassomethingspinningwickedlyoutofcontrolinsidethishouse.Itwaslike

seeinginsidetheBakers’worldhadopenedupwindowsintoourown,andtheviewwasnotaprettyone.

Wherehadallthisstuffcomefrom?

Andwhyhadn’tIeverseenitbefore.

Juli:TheDinner



By the time I got home, I knew it would be selfish of me to boycott the Loskis’ dinner party. My

mother had already spent a lot of time humming over pie recipes and going through her closet for

“somethingsuitabletowear.”She’devenboughtanewshirtforDadandhadscrutinizedwhattheboys

intendedtowear.Obviouslyshewaslookingforwardtothedinner—notthatIreallyunderstoodthat,but

Ididn’twanttoruineverythingbytellingheraboutmynewfoundhatredofBryce.

And Dadfelt badenoughaboutDavid already.The last thinghe needed wasto hearaboutcrackpot

commentsmadebyimmatureeighthgraders.

SothatnightIwentthroughthemotionsofbakingpieswithmymotherandconvincedmyselfthatIwas

doingtherightthing.Onedinnercouldn’tchangeanyone’slife.Ijusthadtogetthroughit.

FridayatschoolIavoidedtheblue-eyedbratthebestIcould,butthatnightasIgotdressed,Ifound

myselfstaringatthepaintingmyfatherhadgivenmeandbecamefuriousalloveragain.Brycehadnever

beenafriendtome,ever!Hehadn’tmadeastandforthetree,he’dthrownawaymyeggs,andhe’dmade

funofmeatmyuncle’sexpense….WhywasIplayingalonglikewewerejollyfriendsandneighbors?

Whenmymothercalledthatitwastimetogo,Iwentoutinthehallwitheveryintentionoftellingher

thatIwouldnot,couldnotgototheLoskis’fordinner,butshelookedsolovelyandhappythatIcouldn’t.

Ijustcouldn’t.Itookadeepbreath,wrappedupapie,andshuffledacrossthestreetbehindmybrothers

andparents.

Chetansweredthedoor.MaybeIshould’vebeenmadathim,too,fortellingtheLoskisaboutmyuncle,

butIwasn’t.Ihadn’taskedhimnottotell,andhecertainlywasn’ttheonemakingfunofDavid.

Mrs.LoskicameupbehindChet,whiskedusin,andflutteredabout.Andeventhoughshehadquitea

bitofmakeupon,Iwassurprisedtoseethebluenessofbagsbeneathhereyes.ThenMrs.Loskiandmy

motherwentoffwiththepies,mybrothersvanisheddownthehallwithLynetta,andmyfatherfollowed

Chetintothelivingroom.

Andwasn’tthatjustdandy?ThatleftmealoneinthefoyerwithBryce.

HesaidhitomeandIlostit.Ispunonhim,snapping,“Don’tyouspeaktome!Ioverheardyouand

Garrettinthelibrary,andIdon’twanttotalktoyounoworever!”

Istartedtowalkintothelivingroom,buthestoppedme.“Juli!Juli,wait!”hewhispered.“I’mnotthe

badguyhere!ThatwasGarrett.ThatwasallGarrett!”

Iglaredathim.“IknowwhatIheard.”

“No!Noyoudon’t!I…Iwasfeelingbadabout,youknow,theeggsandwhatI’dsaidaboutyouryard.

Ididn’tknowanythingaboutyouruncleorwhatkindofsituationyourfamilywasin,okay?Ijustwanted

totalktosomeoneaboutit.”

Oureyeslockedforaminute,andforthefirsttimethe bluenessofhis didn’tfreezeupmybrain. “I

heardyoulaugh.Hemadeajokeaboutmebeingaretard,andyoulaughed.”

“Juli,youdon’tunderstand.Iwantedtopunchhim!Really,Idid!Butwewereinthelibrary….”

“Soinsteadyoulaughed.”

Heshruggedandlookedmiserableandsheepish.“Yeah.”

Ilefthim.Justwalkedintothelivingroomandlefthim.Ifhewasmakingitup,hewasquiteanactor.If

hewastellingthetruth,thenChetwasright—hewasacoward.Eitherway,Ididn’twanttobeanywhere

nearhim.

IstoodbesidemyfatherandtriedtofollowhisdiscussionwithChetaboutsomethingthey’dbothread

inthepaper.Myfatherwassaying,“Butwhathe’sproposingwouldrequireaperpetual-motionmachine,

soit’snotpossible.”

Chetreplied,“Maybeinthecontextofwhatscientistsknownow,butdoyouruleitoutcompletely?”

At that moment I was feeling absolutely no scientific curiosity. But in a desperate attempt to block

BryceLoskifrommymind,Iasked,“What’saperpetual-motionmachine?”

MyfatherandChetglancedateachother,chuckled,thenshrugged,givingmethesensethatthey’djust

agreedtolet me intoasecretclub. Myfather explained,“It’s amachinethatrunswithoutany external

powersource.”

“Noelectricity,nofuel,nowaterpropulsion,nothing.”Chetglancedovermyshoulderandaskedrather

absently,“Youthinkthat’sadoablething?”

Whathaddistractedhim?WasBrycestillinthefoyer?Whydidn’thejustgoaway?

I forced myself to focus on the conversation. “Do I think that’s a doable thing? Well, I don’t really

know. All machines use energy, right? Even real efficient ones. And that energy has to come from

somewhere….”

“Whatifthemachinegeneratedititself?”Chetasked,butoneeyewasstillonthefoyer.

“Howcoulditdothat?”

Neither of them answered me. Instead, my father stuck outhis hand and said, “Good evening, Rick.

Niceofyoutohaveusover.”

Mr. Loski pumped my dad’s hand and joined our group, making little comments about the weather.

Whenthattopicwasalldriedup,hesaid,“Andwow,thatyardofyourshasreallycomealong.ItoldChet

herethatweoughttohirehimout.Hereallyknowshispickets,doesn’the?”

Hewasjoking.Ithink.Butmyfatherdidn’ttakeitthatway,andneitherdidChet.Iwasafraidofwhat

might happen next, but then Mrs. Loski tinkled a little dinner bell and called, “Hors d’oeuvres,

everybody!”

Thehorsd’oeuvresweredelicious.Butwhenmyfatherwhisperedthattheteeny-tinyblackberrieson

topofthecrackersweren’tberriesatall,butcaviar,Istoppedmidbite.Fisheggs?Repulsive!

ThenmyfatherpointedoutthatIatechickeneggsallthetime,sowhygetsqueamishoverfisheggs?He

hadapoint.Ihesitantlyfinishedthecracker,andbeforelongIwashavinganother.

Brycewasstandingallbyhimselfacrosstheroom,andeverytimeIhappenedtolookhisway,hewas

staringatme.

Finally I completely turned my back on him and said to my father, “So who’s trying to invent a

perpetual-motionmachine,anyway?”

Myfatherlaughed.“Madscientistsallovertheworld.”

“Really?”

“Yes.Forhundredsofyears.”

“Well,whatdotheydo?What’sonelooklike?”

Itwasn’tlongbeforeChetwasinonthediscussion.AndjustasIwasfinallystartingtocatchonto

magnetism,gyroscopicparticles,andzero-pointenergy,Ifeltsomeonestandingbehindme.

ItwasBryce.

Icouldfeelmycheeksflushwithanger.Couldn’theseeIwantedtobeleftalone?Itookastepaway

fromhim,butwhatthatdidwasopenupthegroupandallowhimtomoveforward.Nowhewasstanding

inourcirclelisteningtoourdiscussion!

Well!Surelyhewasnotinterestedinperpetualmotion.Ibarelywasmyself!So,Ireasoned,continuing

ourdiscussionwoulddrivehimaway.Idovebackin,andwhentheconversationstartedtopeterout,I

cameupwithmyownideasonperpetual-motionmachines.Iwaslikeaperpetual-ideamachine,spinning

ridiculoussuggestionsrightoutoftheair.

And still he wouldn’t leave. He didn’t say anything, he just stood there, listening. Then when Mrs.

Loskiannouncedthatdinnerwasready,Bryceheldmyarmandwhispered,“Juli,I’msorry.I’venever

beensosorryaboutanythinginmywholelife.You’reright,Iwasajerk,andI’msorry.”

Iyankedmyarmfreefromhisgraspandsaid,“Itseemstomeyou’vebeensorryaboutawholelotof

thingslately!”andlefthimtherewithhisapologyhangingwoundedintheair.

Itdidn’ttakemelongtorealizethatI’dmadeamistake.Ishouldhavelethimsayhewassorryandthen

simplycontinuedtoignorehim.ButI’dsnappedathiminthemiddleofanapology,whichsomehowmade

metherudeone.

Isneakedapeekathimacrossthe table,buthewas watchinghisdad,who was askingmybrothers

aboutgraduatingandtheirplansforcollege.

Ihad,ofcourse,seenMr.Loskimanytimes,butusuallyfromadistance.Still,itseemedimpossible

thatI’dnevernoticedhiseyesbefore.Theywereblue.Brilliantblue.AndalthoughMr.Loski’swereset

fartherbackandwerehiddensomewhatbyhiseyebrowsandcheekbones,therewasnomistakingwhere

Brycehadgottenhiseyes.Hishairwasblack,too,likeBryce’s,andhisteethwerewhiteandstraight.

EventhoughChethadcalledBrycethespittingimageofhisfather,I’dneverreallythoughtofthemas

lookingalike.ButnowIsawthattheydidlookalike,thoughwherehisdadseemedkindofsmug,Bryce

seemed…well,rightnowheseemedangry.

Thenfromtheothersideofthetable,Iheard,“Yoursarcasmisnotappreciated,Dad.”

Mrs.Loskigaveasmallgasp,andeveryonelookedatLynetta.“Well,it’snot,”shesaid.

Inalltheyearswe’velivedacrossthestreetfromtheLoskis,I’vesaidabouttenwordstoLynetta,and

she’ssaidfewerback.Tomeshe’sscary.Soitwasn’tasurprisetoseeherglaringatherfather,butitwas

uncomfortable.Mrs.Loskiwaskeepingasmileperchedonherface,butshewasblinkingalot,glancing

nervouslyaroundthetable.Ilookedfromonepersontothenext,too,wonderingifdinnerattheLoskis’

wasalwaysthistense.

SuddenlyLynettagotupanddasheddownthehall,butshewasbackinaflashwithaCDinherhand.

Andwhensheputitintheplayer,Irecognizedoneofmybrothers’songsblaringthroughthespeakers.

We’dheardthissong,“CandleIce,”pouringoutofmybrothers’bedroomatleastamilliontimes,so

wewereusedtoit.ButIlookedoveratmymom,worriedthatshemightbeembarrassedbythedistorting

guitarsandthegrittylyrics.Thiswasdefinitelynotcaviarmusic.

Sheseemedalittleuncertain,butinahappyway.Shewassharingsecretsmileswithmyfather,and

honestly,Ithinksheevengiggled.Mydadwaslookingamused,althoughhewasveryreservedaboutit,

andittookmeuntiltheendofthesongtorealizethathewasproud.Proudthatthisnoisecamefromhis

boys.

Thatsurprisedme.Dadhasneverbeenrealbigonanyrenditionofmybrothers’band,althoughhe’s

never really criticized it either. But then Mr. Loski started grilling Matt and Mike about how they’d

affordedtorecordtheirownmusic,andtheyexplainedaboutworkingandsavingandshoppingforgood

dealsonequipment,andthat’swhenIrealizedwhymyfatherwasproud.

Mybrotherswerefeelingprettygood,too,youcouldtell.Anditwasnowonder,withthewayLynetta

wascarryingonabouthowgreat“CandleIce”was.Shewaspositivelygushing,whichseemedveryodd,

comingfromLynetta.

As Ilooked around, it struck me that we were having dinner with a group of strangers. We’d lived

acrossthestreetforyears,butIdidn’tknowthesepeopleatall.Lynettadidknowhowtosmile.Mr.Loski

wascleanandsmoothontheoutside,buttherewasadistinctwhiffofsomethingrottenburiedjustbeneath

thesurface.Andtheever-efficientMrs.Loskiseemedflustered,almosthyper.Wasithavingusoverthat

wasmakinghernervous?

ThentherewasBryce—themostdisturbingofallbecauseIhadtoadmitthatIdidn’treallyknowhim,

either.AndbasedonwhatI’ddiscoveredlately,Ididn’tcaretoknowanymore.Lookingacrossthetable

at him, all I got was a strange, detached, neutral feeling. Nofireworks, no leftover anger or resurging

flutters.

Nothing.

Afterwe’dhaddessertanditwastimetogo,IwentuptoBryceandtoldhimIwassorryforhaving

beensofiercewhenwe’dfirstcomein.“Ishould’veletyouapologize,andreally,itwasveryniceof

yourfamilytohaveusover.Iknowitwasalotofworkand,well,Ithinkmymomhadareallygoodtime

andthat’swhatmatterstome.”Wewerelookingrightateachother,butitwasalmostasthoughhedidn’t

hearme.“Bryce?IsaidI’msorry.”

Henodded,andthenourfamilieswerewavinggood-byeandsayinggoodnight.

Iwalkedbehindmymother,whowasholdinghandswithmyfather,andbesidemybrothers,whowere

carryinghomewhatwasleftofourpies.Weallwoundupinthekitchen,andMattpouredhimselfaglass

ofmilkandsaidtoMike,“ThatMr.Loskiwassniffingusoutprettygoodtonight,wasn’the?”

“Nokidding.Maybehethinkswe’rehotforhisdaughter.”

“Notme,dude!You?”

Mikegothimselfaglassofmilk,too.“That’sSkyler’sgig.NowayI’dgothere.”Hegrinned.“Butshe

wasreallycooltonight.Didshecomedownonpapabearorwhat?”

My dad took a paper plate out of the cupboard and cut a slice of pie. “You boys showed a lot of

restrainttonight.Idon’tknowifIcould’vekeptmycoolthatway.”

“Aw, he’s just, you know … entrenched,” Matt said. “Gotta adjust to the perspective anddeal from

there.”Thenheadded,“NotthatI’dwanthimasmydad….”

Mikepracticallysprayedhismilk.“Dude!Can youimagine?” Then Matt gavemydad aslap onthe

backandsaid,“Noway.I’mstickingwithmymainmanhere.”Mymomgrinnedfromacrossthekitchen

andsaid,“Metoo.”

I’dneverseenmy fathercry.Andhedidn’texactlysittherebawling,butthere weredefinitely tears

wellingupinhiseyes.Heblinkedthembackthebesthecouldandsaid,“Don’tyouboyswantsomepie

togowiththatmilk?”

“Dude,”saidMattashestraddledachair.“Iwasjustthinkingthat.”

“Yeah,”Mikeadded.“I’mstarved.”

“Getmeaplate,too!”IcalledasMikedugthroughthecupboard.

“Butwejustate,”mymothercried.

“Comeon,Trina,havesomepie.It’sdelicious.”

Iwenttobedthatnightfeelingveryfullandveryhappy.AndasIlaythereinthedark,Iwonderedat

howmuchemotioncangointoanygivenday,andthoughthowniceitwastofeelthiswayattheendofit.

AndasInestledinanddriftedofftosleep,myheartfeltwonderfully…free.



ThenextmorningIstillfeltgood.Iwentoutsideandsprinkledtheyard,enjoyingthesplishandpatter

ofwateronsoil,wonderingwhen,when,thatfirstlittlebladeofgrasswouldspringupintothesunshine.

ThenIwentoutback,cleanedthecoop,rakedtheyard,anddugupsomeofthebiggerweedsgrowing

alongtheedges.

Mrs.StuebyleanedoverthesidefenceasIwasshovelingmyrakingsandweedsintoatrashcanand

said,“How’sitgoing,Julianna?Makingneatforarooster?”

“Arooster?”

“Why,certainly.Thosehensneedsomemotivationtostartlayingmore!”

Itwastrue.BonnieandClydetteandtheotherswereonlylayingabouthalftheeggsthattheyusedto,

but a rooster? “I don’t think the neighborhood would appreciate my getting a rooster, Mrs. Stueby.

Besides,we’dgetchicksandIdon’tthinkwecanhandleanymorepoultrybackhere.”

“Nonsense.You’vespoiledthesebirds,givingthemthewholeyard.Theycansharethespace.Easily!

Howelseareyougoingtomaintainyourbusiness?Soonthosebirdswon’tbelayinganythinga-tall!”

“Theywon’t?”

“Well,verylittle.”

Ishookmyhead,thensaid,“Theywerejustmychicksthatgrewintochickensandstartedlayingeggs.I

neverreallythoughtofitasabusiness.”

“Well, myrunnin’ a tab has probably contributed to that,and I’m sorry. I’ll be sure and get you the

wholesumthisweek,butconsiderbuyingyourselfaroosterwithsomeofit.I’vegotafrienddownon

NewcombStreetwhoispositivelygreenovermydeviledeggs.Igavehermyrecipe,butshesayshers

justdon’ttastethesame.”Shewinkedatme.“I’mcertainshe’dpayhandsomelyforasupplyofmysecret

ingredient if it became available.” She turned to go, then said, “By-the-by, Julianna, you have done a

mightyfinejobonthatfrontyard.Mostimpressive!”

“Thanks,Mrs.Stueby,”Icalledassheslidopenherpatiodoor.“Thanksverymuch.”

IfinishedscoopingupthepilesI’dmadeandthoughtaboutwhatMrs.Stuebyhadsaid.ShouldIreally

getarooster?I’dheardthathavingonearoundmadechickenslaymore,whethertheywereincontactwith

eachotherornot.Icouldevenbreedmychickensandgetawholenewsetoflayers.ButdidIreallywant

togothroughallofthatagain?

Notreally.Ididn’twanttobetheneighborhoodrancher.Ifmygirlsquitlayingaltogether,thatwould

bejustfinewithme.

Iputawaytherakeandshovel,cluckedakissoneachofthehens,andwentinside.Itfeltgoodtotake

chargeofmyowndestiny!Ifeltstrongandrightandcertain.

LittledidIknowhowafewdaysbackatschoolwouldchangeallofthat.

Bryce:Flipped



AfterthedinnerJuliwasnicetomeatschool.WhichIhated.Madwasbetterthannice.Gagawas

betterthan…nice.ItwaslikeIwasastrangertoher,andman,itbuggedme.Buggedmebig-time.

Thentheauctionhappened,andIfoundmyselfwithevenbiggerproblems.

TheauctionisthisboguswaytheBoosterClubraisesmoneyfortheschool.Theyinsistit’sanhonorto

bechosen,butbull-stinkin’-loneytothat!Bottomlineis,twentyguysgetshanghaied.Theyhavetocome

upwithfancypicniclunchesandthenbehumiliatedinfrontofthewholeschoolwhilegirlsbidtohave

lunchwiththem.

Guesswhomadethisyear’stoptwenty.

You’dthinkmotherswouldsay,Hey,there’snowayyou’regoingtoauctionmysonofftothehighest

bidder,butno.Instead,they’reallflatteredthattheirson’sbeenelectedabasketboy.

Yes, my friend, that’s what they call you. Over the P.A. you hear stuff like, “There will be an

organizationalmeetingofthenewlyelectedbasketboysintheMPRatlunchtoday.Allbasketboysmust

attend.”

Prettysoonyou’vecompletelylostyourname.YouandnineteenothersapsareknownsimplyasBasket

Boy.

Mymom, of course, was into it, coming up with all sorts of stuffto put inmy basket so I’d get the

highestbid.ItriedtoexplainthatIdidn’twanttobeinMayfieldJuniorHigh’sBasketBoyHallofFame,

andthatreally,whatwasinthebasketdidn’tmatter.Itwasn’tlikegirlswerebiddingonthebasket.When

yougotrightdowntoit,thiswasameatmarket.

“You eat lunch on campus and that’s the end of it. It is hardly a meat market, Bryce. It’s an honor!

Besides,maybesomeonereallynicewillbidonyouandyou’llmakeanewfriend!”

Motherscanbeinsuchdenial.

AndthenGarrettbendsmyearwiththenewsthatShellyStallsisbreakingupwithMitchMichaelson,

and thatshe, Miranda Humes, and Jenny Atkinson are startingsome biddingwar over me. “Dude!” he

tellsme.“Thetwohottestchicksoncampus.AndIsweartogod,man,Shelly’sdumpedMitchbecauseof

you.IhearditdirectfromShagreer,anddude,ShagreertheEarknowsall.”Hethrowsmethisnastygrin

andsays,“Me,I’mrootingforJumboJenny.Itwouldserveyourightforbeingsuchabasketboy.”

Itoldhimtoshutup,buthewasright.Withthewaymyluckwasrunning,I’dprobablygetstuckwith

Jumbo Jenny. I could just see it — six feet of beefy babe downing both halves of my lunch and then

coming after me. Jenny’s the only girl or guy on campus who can dunk a basketball. The whole gym

shakeswhenshelands.Andsinceshe’sgotno,youknow…femaleparabolas,thegirlcouldshaveher

headandmakeitintheNBA.Seriously.Noonewouldeversuspect.

Herparentsgiveheranythingshewants,too.Rumorhasittheyconvertedtheirgarageintoafull-on

basketballcourtjustforher.

Whichmeantthatinthegameofthebasketboys,Iwasasgoodasslam-dunked.

Unless,unlessShellyorMirandawashighbidder.ButhowcouldImakesurethathappened?Mybrain

wentintooverdrive,constructingaplan,andintheendIdecidedthattherewasonlyonesensiblecourse

ofaction.

Kissuptobothofthem.

Halfwaythroughmyfirstdayofdoingthis,Ifeltlikeaskunk.NotthatIwasbeinggrossaboutitor

anything.Iwasjust,youknow,friendly.AndeventhoughShellyandMirandadidn’tseemtosmellathing,

Garrettdid.

“Dude!”hesaystomeonThursday.“Icanseeyourgame,man.”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”

“Don’tdenyit,dude.You’reworkingthemboth.”Hecomesupandwhispersinmyear,“Basketboyor

not,I’minawe.”

“Shutup,man.”

“Seriously!TheEarsaystheywere,like,clawingeachotherinP.E.today.”

Ihadtoknow.“Whatabout…JumboJenny?”

Heshrugs.“Haven’theard.Butwe’llfindouttomorrow,won’twe,dude?”

MymotherdroppedmeoffatschoolonFridaywithmystupidoversizedpicnicbasket,andsinceall

basketboyshavetodressup,Iwaschokinginatieandfeelingcompletelydweeblikeinslacksanddress

shoes.

Kidswhistledandshouted,“Oooh,baby!”asIheadedupthewalkway,andthenJumboJennypassed

me, taking the front steps three at a time. “Wow, Bryce,” she said over her shoulder. “You

look…delicious.”

Oh,man!Ipracticallyrantotheclassroomwhereallthebasketboysweresupposedtomeet,andthe

minuteIwalkedin,Ifeltbetter.Iwassurroundedbyotherdweebs,whoseemedgenuinelyhappytosee

me.“Hey,Loski”;“Yo,dude”;“Doesn’tthissuckeggs?”;“Whydidn’tyoutakethebus,man?”

Miserylovescompany.

Then Mrs. McClure, the president of the Boosters, the lady wholassoed us all, hoofs it throughthe

door.“Oh,my!”shesays.“Youalllooksohandsome!”

Notonewordaboutourbaskets.Notonelittlesneakpeekinside.No,forallshecared,thosepuppies

wereempty.

Meatmarket?

Youbetterbelieveit!

“Don’tbesonervous,boys,”Mrs.McClurewassaying.“You’regoingtohaveawonderfulday!”She

pullsoutalistofnamesandstartsorderingusintoline.Wegetnumbers;ourbasketsgetnumbers;wefill

outthree-by-fivecardstoherinsanespecifications;andbythetimeshe’sgotusallorganizedandissure

we know whattodo and what nottodo, we’ve missed all of firstand mostof secondperiod. “Okay,

gentlemen,” she says. “Leave your baskets where they are and go to … where are we now? Still in

second?”Shelooksattheclock.“Right.Second.”

“Whataboutpasses?”somesensiblebasketboyasked.

“Yourteachershavealist.Butiftheysayanything,tellthemIsayyournecktiesareyourpasses.I’ll

meetyoubackherewheneveryone’sdismissedfortheauction.Gotit?Don’tdawdle!”

We grumbled, Yeah, yeah, and headed to class. And I can tell you this, not one of the twenty of us

listenedtoawordanyofourteacherssaidthatmorning.Howcanyoulistenwithanoosearoundyour

neck,pinchedtoes,andaroomfullofidiotsthinkingit’sopenseasononbasketboys?Whoeverstarted

thisstupidtraditionoughttobecrammedintoabasketandtosseddownstreamwithoutaservingspoon.



Iwasbasketboynumbernine.WhichmeantIhadtostandthereonthestageinthegymwhilenearly

halftheguysgotauctionedoff.Minimumbid,tenbucks.Andifnobodybid,thesecretwasateacherwas

assignedtobidonyou.

Yes,myfriend,thepossibilitiesformortificationwereinfinite.

Some of the moms showed up and stood off to the side with their camcorders and zoom lenses,

fidgetingandwavingandbasicallyactingasdweebyastheirsonslooked.Ishouldknow.Mymomtook

anhouroffworktobeoneofthem.

TimPellowasbasketboynumberfive,andhismomactuallybidonhim.Nokidding.Shejumpedup

anddown,yelling,“Twenty!I’llgiveyoutwenty!”Man,that’llbrandyouforlife.LuckyforTim,Kelly

Trottcameupwithtwenty-twofiftyandsavedhissorryselffromeverlastingtortureasamama’sboy—

oneofthefewfatesworsethanbasketboy.

CalebHugheswasupnext,andhefetchedtheBoostersallofelevenfifty.ThencameChadOrmonde,

whoIswearwasreadytopeehispantswhenMrs.McCluremadehimstepforward.Shereadhiscard,

pinchedhischeeks,andrakedinfifteeneven.

At this point what stood between me and the auction block was Jon Trulock. And I wasn’t exactly

interested in what he had in his basket or what his hobbies and favorite sports were. I was too busy

scanningthecrowdforJumboJenny,sweatingmypitsoff.

Mrs.McClurecallsintothemicrophone,“DoIhearten?”andittookmeaminutetotuneintothefact

thatnoonesaid“Ten!”Noonesaidanything.“Comeon,outthere!Thelunchisdelicious.Strawberry

tarts,um…”AndMrs.McCluregoesbacktoreadingoffthethree-by-fiveaboutJonTrulock’slunch.

Talk about embarrassing! This was worse than being a mama’s boy. Worse than lunch with Jumbo

Jenny!How’dhegetvotedbasketboyifnobodywantedtohavelunchwithhim?

ThenofftotherightofthecrowdIhear,“Ten!”

“Ten?DidIhearten?”Mrs.McCluresayswithaflutterysmile.

“Twelve!”cameadifferentvoicefromthesamearea.

Thefirstvoicecamebackwith“Fifteen!”andallofasuddenIrecognizedwhosevoiceitwas.

JuliBaker’s.

Isearchedthroughthecrowdandfoundher,handwavingintheair,thatlookalloverherface.

“Sixteen!”cametheothervoice.

Therewasapause,butthenJulishootsbackwith“Eighteen!”

“Eighteen!”criesMrs.McClure,wholookslikeshe’sabouttocollapsefromrelief.Shepauses,then

says,“Eighteengoingonce…Eighteengoingtwice…Sold!foreighteendollars.”

ToJuli?ShewasthelastpersonIexpectedtobidonalunch.Anybody’slunch.

Jonstaggeredbackintoline.AndIknewIwassupposedtostepforward,butIcouldn’tbudge.Ifelt

likeI’dbeensluggedinthestomach.DidJulilikeJon?Isthatwhyshe’dbeenso…so…nicelately?

Becauseshedidn’tcareaboutmeanymore?Allmylifeshe’dbeenthere,waitingtobeavoided,andnow

itwaslikeIdidn’tevenexist.

“Stepup,Bryce.Comeon,don’tbeshy!”

MikeAbenidoshovedmealittleandsaid,“Yourturnfortorture.Getupthere!”



Itfeltlikewalkingtheplank.IjuststoodupfrontsweatingbulletswhiletheBoosterqueendissected

mylunchandstartedrunningthroughmylistoffavorites.Beforeshe’sevenfinished,though,ShellyStalls

callsout,“Ten!”

“What’sthat?”saysMrs.McClure.

“I’llgiveyouten!”

“Oh,”shelaughsassheputsdownhernotes.“Well,IguessIhearten!”

“Twenty!”callsMirandaHumesfromdeadcenter.

“Twenty-five!”It’sShellyagain.

I’m looking around for Jumbo Jenny, praying she’s gone home sick or something, while Shelly and

Mirandagoupbyfives.“Thirty!”

“Thirty-five!”

“Forty!”

ThenIspother.She’sabouttwentyfeetbehindMiranda,cleaningherfingernailswithherteeth.

“Forty-five!”

“Fifty!”

“Fifty-two.”

“Fifty-two?” interrupts the Booster queen. “Well, this has been lively! And from the looks of this

basket,wellworththe—”

“Sixty!”

“Sixty-two!”callsShelly.

MirandascramblesaroundtryingtobegmoneyoffherfriendsasMrs.McClurecalls,“Goingonce!”

ButthenJennystandsupandbellows,“Ahundred!”

Ahundred.There’sacollectivegasp,andthentheentirestudentbodyturnsandstaresatJenny.

“Well!”laughsMrs.McClure.“Wehaveahundred!Thatiscertainlyanall-timerecord.Andsucha

generousdonationtotheBoosters!”

Iwantedtoboosther,rightoffthestage.Iwasdoomed.ThiswassomethingIwouldneverlivedown.

Thenthere’sthisbigcommotion,andallofasuddenShellyandMirandaarestandingrightnexttoeach

othercalling,“One-twenty-two…fifty!We’llgiveyouone-twenty-twofifty!”

“One hundred twenty-two dollars and fifty cents?” I thought the Booster queen was gonna polka.

“You’repoolingyourresourcestohavelunchwiththisfineyoungman?”

“Yeah!”theycall,thenlookoverJenny’sway.EverybodylooksoverJenny’sway.

Jennyjustshrugsandgoesbacktocleaninganail.

“Well, then! One hundred twenty-two dollars and fifty cents going once … One hundred twenty-two

dollarsandfiftycentsgoingtwice…Soldtothosetwobeautifulyoungladiesforanall-timerecordof

onehundredtwenty-twodollarsandfiftycents!”

“Dude!”MikewhisperedwhenIgotbackinline.“ShellyandMiranda?HowamIsupposedtofollow

that?”

Hedidn’tevencomeclose.HegotTerryNorrisforsixteenbucks,andthemostanyoneelsegotwas

forty.Andwhenitwasover,alltheguystoldme,“Dude!Youare,like,theman….Score!”butIdidn’t

feelliketheman.Ifeltwipedout.

My mom came up and gave me a hug and a kiss like I’d won a gold medal or something, then

whispered,“Mylittlebaby,”andclickity-clickedoffinherhighheels,backtowork.

SoI was wipedout,embarrassed,and thenpracticallydraggedtothemulti-purposeroom byShelly

andMiranda.

TheBoostershadoutfittedtheMPRwithlittletablesfortwo,alldecoratedinshadesofpinkandblue

andyellow,withballoonsandstreamerseverywhere.IfeltliketheEasterbunnywithmystupidbasket

boylunchclutchedinbothhandswhileMirandaheldontoonearmandShellylatchedontotheother.

They gave us the biggesttable and whisked in an extra chair, and when everyone was seated, Mrs.

McCluresaid,“Boysandgirls?Idon’tthinkIneedtoremindyouthatyouareexcusedfromclassforthe

restoftheday.Enjoyyourlunches,enjoyyourfriendships….Takeyourtime,relax,andthanksagainfor

supportingyourBoosters.Wewouldn’tbeuswithoutyou!”

SothereIwas,withthetwohottestgirlsoncampus,havinglunch.Iwas“theman,”theenvyofevery

otherguyinschool.

Buddy,Iwasmiserable.

Imean,thesetwogirlsmaybegorgeous,butwhatwascomingoutoftheirmouthsaboutJumboJenny

was embarrassingly ugly. Miranda works herselfup to, “What was she thinking? Like you would ever

wanttogooutwithher,right,Bryce?”

Well,yeah.Thatwasright.Butitseemedreallywrongtosayso.“Look,canwetalkaboutsomething

else?”

“Sure.Likewhat?”

“Idon’tcare.Anythingelse.Youguysgoinganywherethissummer?”

Mirandashootsofffirst.“We’retakingacruisetotheMexicanRiviera.We’resupposedtostopinall

thesecoolportsandshopandstuff.”Shefluttershereyelidsatmeandsays,“Icouldbringyousomething

back….”

Shellyscootsherchairinalittleandsays,“We’regoinguptothelake.Mydadhasacabinthere,and

youcangetthemostoutrageoustan.DoyourememberwhatIlookedlikeatthebeginningofthisyear?I

was,like,black.I’mgoingtodothatagain,onlythistimeI’vegotascheduleallworkedoutsothatit’s

eveneverywhere.”Shegigglesandsays,“Don’ttellmymom,okay?Shewouldhaveaka-nip!”

Andthis,myfriend,ishowtheTanWarsbegan.MirandatoldShellythatshedidn’tevennoticehertan

atthebeginningoftheyearandthattheplacetoreallyroastisonacruiseship.ShellytoldMirandathat

anyonewithfrecklescan’treallyget tan andsinceMirandahadfreckleseverywhere,the cruise was a

guaranteedwasteofmoney.Ichokeddownmythirdofthelunchandlookedaroundtheroom,tryingtolet

itallflowpastme.

ThenIsawJuli.Shewastwotablesawayfromme,facingmydirection.Onlyshewasn’tlookingatme.

ShewaslookingatJon,hereyesallsparklyandlaughing.

Myheartlurched.Whatwasshelaughingabout?Whatweretheytalkingabout?Howcouldshesitthere

andlookso…beautiful?

Ifeltmyselfspinningoutofcontrol.Itwasweird.LikeIcouldn’tevensteermyownbody.I’dalways

thoughtJonwasprettycool,butrightthenIwantedtogooverandthrowhimacrosstheroom.

Shellygrabbedmyarmandsaid,“Bryce,areyouallright?Youlook…Idon’tknow…possessedor

something.”

“What?Oh.”Itriedtakingadeepbreath.“Whatareyoustaringat?”Mirandaasked.Theybothlooked

overtheirshoulders,thenshruggedandwentbacktopickingattheirfood.

But I couldn’t stop myself from looking again. And in the back of my mind, I could hear my

grandfather’svoicesaying,“Thechoicesyoumakenowwillaffectyoufortherestofyourlife.Dothe

rightthing….”

Dotherightthing….

Mirandashookmeoutofit,asking,“Bryce?Areyouinthere?Iasked,whatareyougoingtodothis

summer?”

“Idon’tknow,”Isnapped.

“Hey,maybeyoucanspendsometimeupatthelakewithus!”Shellysaid.

Itwastorture.Iwantedtoscream,Shutup!Leavemealone!Iwantedtorunoutofthebuildingand

keeponrunninguntilIdidn’tfeellikethisanymore.

“Lunchisreallydelicious,Bryce.”Miranda’svoicewasfloatingaround.“Bryce?Didyouhearme?

Thisisreallyaspectacularlunch.”

Asimplelittlethankyouwould’vesufficed.ButcouldIcomeupwithasimplelittlethankyou?No.I

turnedonherandsaid,“Canwenottalkaboutfoodortansorhair?”

Shegavemeanuppitylittlesmile.“Well,whatdoyouwanttotalkabout,then?”

Iblinkedather,thenatShelly.“Howaboutperpetualmotion?Knowanythingaboutthat?”

“Perpetualwhat?”

Mirandastartslaughing.

“What?”Iaskher.“What’ssofunny?”

Shelooksatmeaminute,thensnickers.“Ididn’trealizeI’dbidonanintellectual.”

“Hey…I’mplentysmart!”

“Yeah?”Mirandagiggles.“Canyouspellintellectual?”

“Heistoosmart,Miranda.”

“Oh,stopkissingup,Shelly.You’retryingtotellmeyou’reafterhisbrain?God,it’smakingmesickto

watchyougrovel.”

“Grovel?Excuseme?”

“Youheardme.He’snotgoingtotakeyoutothegraddanceanyway,sojustgiveitup,whydon’tyou?”

Andwiththat,itwasallover.Oneofmymom’sflakyappletartsgotgroundintoMiranda’shair;the

extra ranch dressing got smeared into Shelly’s. And before Mrs. McClure could say, In the name of

Boosters!Whatareyoudoing?theywererollingonthefloor,scratchingeachother’smakeupoff.

ItookthisopportunitytoleavemytableandheadforJuli’s.Igrabbedherbythehandandsaid,“I’ve

gottotalktoyou.”

Shesortofhalf-standsandsays,“What?What’sgoingon,Bryce?Whyaretheyfighting?”

“Excuseusaminute,wouldyou,Jon?”Ipullherawayfromthetable,butthere’snoplacetogo.And

I’vegotherhandinmine,andIjustcan’tthink.SoIstoprightthereinthemiddleoftheroomandlookat

her.Atthatface.Iwanttotouchhercheekandseewhatitfeelslike.Iwanttotouchherhair,itlooksso

incrediblysoft.

“Bryce,”shewhispers.“What’swrong?”

IcanbarelybreatheasIaskher,“Doyoulikehim?”

“DoI…youmeanJon?”

“Yes!”

“Well,sure.He’sniceand—”

“No,doyoulikehim?”MyheartwaspoundingthroughmychestasItookherotherhandandwaited.

“Well,no.Imean,notlikethat….”

No!Shesaidno!Ididn’tcare whereIwas,Ididn’tcarewho saw.Iwanted, justhad to kiss her. I

leanedin,closedmyeyes,andthen…

Shebrokeawayfromme.

Suddenly,theroomwasdeadquiet.MirandaandShellystaredatmethroughtheirslimyhair,everyone

waslookingatmelikeI’dblownmyentirecircuitboard,andIjuststoodthere,tryingtoreelinmylips

andpullmyselfbacktogether.

Mrs.McCluretookmebytheshoulders,guidedmetomychair,andtoldme,“Yousithere,andyou

stayhere!”ThenshehauledMirandaandShellyoutside,scoldingthemandtellingthemtofindseparate

bathroomsandcleanupwhilesherandownthejanitortomopuptheirmess.

Isattherebymyselfanddidn’tevencareaboutcoveringup.Ijustwantedtobewithher.Totalktoher.

Toholdherhandagain.

Tokissher.

Beforeschoolwasout,Itriedtotalktoheragain,buteverytimeIgotclose,she’ddodgeme.Andthen

whenthefinalbellrang,shedisappeared.Ilookedeverywhereforher,butshewasjustgone.

Garrett,however,wasn’t.Hetrackedmedownandsaid,“Dude!Tellmeitisn’ttrue!”

Ididn’tsayaword.Ijustheadedforthebikeracks,stillhopingtofindJuli.

“Oh,man…itistrue!”

“Leavemealone,Garrett.”

“Yougethookedupwiththetwofinestchicksoncampus,thenbailonthemforJuli?”

“Youdon’tunderstand.”

“You’reright,dude.Icompletelydon’tunderstand.Didyouseriouslytrytokissher?Icouldn’tbelieve

thatpart.We’re talkingJuliannaBaker?Your nightmareneighbor? Theknow-it-allnuisance? Thecoop

poopbabe?”

Istoppedcoldandshovedhim.Justlaidintohimwithbothhandsandshoved.“Thatwasalongtime

ago,man.Knockitoff!”

Garrettputbothhandsup,butmovedinatme.“Dude,youhaveflipped,youknowthat?”

“Justbackoff,wouldyou?”

He blocked my path. “I can’t believe this! Two hours ago you were the man. The man! The whole

schoolwasontheirkneesbeforeyou!Nowlookatyou.You’re,like,asocialhazard.”Hesnortedand

said,“And,dude,thetruthis,ifyou’regonnabelikethis,Idon’tneedtheassociation.”

Igotrightinhisfaceandsaid,“Good!’Causeyouknowwhat?NeitherdoI!”

Ishovedhimasideandran.



I wound up walking home. In my pinchy shoes, with dirty dishes clanking inside my sticky picnic

hamper,thisbasketboyhikedallthewayhome.Andtherewasabattleraginginsideme.TheoldBryce

wantedtogobackintime,wantedtohangwithGarrettandshootthebreeze,wantedtohateJuliBaker

again.

Wantedtobetheman.

ButinmyheartIknewtheoldBrycewastoast.Therewasnogoingback.NottoGarrettorShellyor

Mirandaoranyoftheotherpeoplewhowouldn’tunderstand.Juliwasdifferent,butafteralltheseyears

thatdidn’tbothermeanymore.

Ilikedit.

Ilikedher.

AndeverytimeIsawher,sheseemedmorebeautiful.Shejustseemedtoglow.I’mnottalkinglikea

hundred-wattbulb;shejusthadthiswarmthtoher.Maybeitcamefromclimbingthattree.Maybeitcame

from singingto chickens. Maybe itcamefrom whacking at two-by-foursand dreaming aboutperpetual

motion.Idon’tknow.AllIknowisthatcomparedtoher,ShellyandMirandaseemedso…ordinary.

I’dneverfeltlikethisbefore.Ever.Andjustadmittingittomyselfinsteadofhidingfromitmademe

feelstrong.Happy.Itookoffmyshoesandsocksandstuffedtheminthebasket.Mytiewhippedovermy

shoulderasIranhomebarefoot,andIrealizedthatGarrettwasrightaboutonething—Ihadflipped.

Completely.

Itruckeddownourstreetandspottedherbikelyingonitssideonthedriveway.Shewashome!

IrangthebelluntilIthoughtitwouldbreak.

Noanswer.

Ipoundedonherdoor.

Noanswer.

Iwenthomeandcalledonthephone,andfinally,finallyhermotheranswers.“Bryce?No,I’msorry.

Shedoesn’twanttotalk.”Thenshewhispers,“Giveheralittletime,won’tyou?”

Igaveheranhour.Almost.ThenIwentacrossthestreet.“Please,Mrs.Baker.I’vegottoseeher!”

“She’slockedherselfinherroom,dear.Whydon’tyoutryphoningtomorrow.”

Tomorrow?Icouldn’twaituntiltomorrow!SoIwentaroundthesideoftheirhouse,climbedthefence,

andknockedonherwindow.“Juli!Juli,please.I’vegottoseeyou.”

Hercurtainsdidn’topen,butthebackdoordid,andoutcameMrs.Bakertoshoomeaway.

WhenIgothome,mygranddadwaswaitingatthefrontdoor.“Bryce,whatisgoingon?You’vebeen

running back andforthtotheBakers’, climbingovertheirfence….You’re acting liketheworld’s on

fire!”

Iblurted,“Ican’tbelievethis!Ijustcan’tbelievethis!Shewon’ttalktome!”

Heledmeintothefrontroom,saying,“Whowon’ttalktoyou?”

“Juli!”

Hehesitated.“Isshe…madatyou?”

“Idon’tknow!”

“Doesshehavereasontobemadatyou?”

“No!Yes!Imean,Idon’tknow!”

“Well,whathappened?”

“Itriedtokissher!Infrontofthiswholeroomofpeople,whileIwassupposedtobehavingthatstupid

basketboylunchwithShellyandMiranda,Itriedtokissher!”

Slowlyasmilespreadacrosshisface.“Youdid?”

“Iwas,like,possessed.Icouldn’tstopmyself!Butshepulledawayand…”Ilookedoutthewindow

attheBakers’house.“Andnowshewon’ttalktome!”

Veryquietlymygrandfathersaid,“Maybeshethinksthisisallalittlesudden?”

“Butit’snot!”

“It’snot?”

“No, I mean … ” I turned to him. “It started with that stupid newspaper article. And I don’t

know…I’vebeenweirdedouteversince.Shedoesn’tlookthesame,shedoesn’tsoundthesame,she

doesn’tevenseemlikethesamepersontome!”IstaredoutthewindowattheBakers’.“She’s…she’s

justdifferent.”

Mygrandfatherstoodbesidemeandlookedacrossthestreet,too.“No,Bryce,”hesaidsoftly.“She’s

thesameasshe’salwaysbeen;you’retheonewho’schanged.”Heclappedhishandonmyshoulderand

whispered,“And,son,fromhereonout,you’llneverbethesameagain.”



Maybemygrandfather’shappyaboutallthis,butI’mmiserable.Ican’teat;Ican’twatchTV;Ican’t

seemtodoanything.

SoIwenttobedearly,butIcan’tsleep.I’vewatchedherhousefrommywindowforhoursnow.I’ve

staredatthesky;I’vecountedsheep.Butman,Ican’tstopkickingmyselfforwhatanidiotI’vebeenall

theseyears.

AndnowhowamIgoingtomakeherlistentome?I’dscalethatmonstersycamoreifIcould.Rightto

thetop.AndI’dyellhernameacrosstherooftopsforthewholeworldtohear.

Andsinceyouknowwhatatree-climbingweenieIam,Ithinkit’sprettyclearthatI’mwillingtodo

anythingtogethertotalktome.Man,I’lldiveafterherintoachickencoopfullofpoopifthat’swhatit

takes.I’llridemybikeallthestinkin’waytoschoolfortherestofeternityifitmeansbeingwithher.

Something.I’vegottocomeupwithsomethingtoshowherthatI’vechanged.ToprovetoherthatI

understand.

Butwhat?HowdoIshowherthatI’mnottheguyshethinksIam?HowdoIeraseeverythingI’vedone

andstartover?

MaybeIcan’t.Maybeitjustcannotbedone.ButifI’velearnedonethingfromJuliBaker,it’sthatI’ve

gottoputmywholeheartandsoulintoitandtry.

Whateverhappens,Iknowthatmygrandfather’srightaboutonething.

I’llneverbethesameagain.

Juli:TheBasketBoys



TheMondayaftertheLoskis’dinnerparty,DarlatrackedmedownatschoolandforcedBryceLoski

backintomybrain.“Jules!Whoa,girl,waitup!Howhaveyoubeen?”

“I’mfine,Darla,howareyou?”

“No,seriously,”shewhispered.“Areyoudoingokay?”Sheshiftedherbackpackandlookedovereach

shoulder.“Igottothinking,youknow,thatwasjustsocoldofBryce.Especiallysinceyou’vegotthatsoft

spotforhim.”

“Whotoldyouthat?”

“LikeIhaven’tgoteyes?Comeon,girl.It’sagiven.WhichiswhyIgottoworryin’aboutyou.Areyou

seriouslyallright?”

“Yes, I am. But thanks for thinking about me.” I eyed her and said, “And Darla? It’s not a given

anymore.”

Shelaughed.“Howlong’sthisdietgonnalast?”

“It’snotadiet.I’vejust,uh,lostmytasteforhim.”

Shelookedatmeskeptically.“Uh-huh.”

“Well,Ihave.Butthanksfor,youknow,caring.”

AllthroughfirstperiodIwasstillfeelingstrongandrightandcertain,butthenMrs.Simmonsendedthe

lessonafullfifteenminutesearlyandsaid,“Clearyourdesksofeverythingbutapenorpencil.”

“What?”everyonecried,andbelieveme—Iwasrightalongwiththem.Iwasnotpreparedforaquiz!

“Everything!”shesaid.“Comeon,you’rewastingvaluabletime.”

The room filled with grumbles and the sound of shuffling binders, and when we’d all pretty much

compliedwithherrequest,shepickedastackofbrightyellowpapersoffherdesk,fannedthemwithan

evilgrin,andsaid,“It’stimetovoteforbasketboys!”

Awaveofreliefsweptacrosstheroom.“Basketboys?Youmeanit’snotaquiz?”

Shetickedthroughthestack,countingballotsasshespoke.“ItislikeaquizinthatIdon’twantyou

conferringwithoneanother.It’salsolikeaquizinthatyouhavealimitedamountoftime.”Sheslappeda

setofballotsdownonthefirstdeskofrowone,thenwentontothesecondrow.“Iwillcollectthemfrom

youindividuallywhenthebellrings,andIwillinspecttoseethatyouhavecompliedwiththefollowing

instructions.”Shescootedovertorowthree.“Choosefive,andonlyfive,oftheboysonthelist.Donot

putyournameonit,anddonotdiscussyourchoiceswithyourneighbors.”Shewasontorowfournow,

talkingfasterandfaster.“Whenyou’vemadeyourselections,simplyturnyoursheetover.”Sheslapped

theremainderdownonthelastdesk.“Donot,Irepeat,donotfoldyourballot!”

RobbieCastinon raisedhis handandblurtedout,“Whydoguyshavetovote.It’slametohave guys

vote.”

“Robbie…,”Mrs.Simmonswarned.

“Seriously!Whatarewesupposedtodo?Voteforourfriendsorourenemies?”

A lot of people snickered, and Mrs. Simmons scowled, but he had a point. Twenty of the school’s

eighth-grade boys would be made to pack a picnic lunch for two and be auctioned off to the highest

bidder.

“Beingabasketboyisanhonor—”Mrs.Simmonsbegan,butshewasinterruptedbyRobbie.

“It’sajoke!”hesaid.“It’sembarrassing!Whowantstobeabasketboy?”

All the guys around him muttered, “Not me,” but Mrs. Simmons cleared her throat and said, “You

shouldwanttobeone!It’satraditionthathashelpedsupporttheschoolsinceitwasfounded.Therehave

beengenerationaftergenerationofbasketboyshelpingmakethiscampuswhatitistoday.It’swhywe

have flower beds. It’s why we have shade trees and a grove of apple trees. Visit another junior high

sometimeandyou’llbegintorealizewhatalittleoasisourcampusreallyis.”

“Allthisfromthesweatandbloodofbasketboys,”Robbiegrumbled.

Mrs.Simmonssighed.“Robbie,somedaywhenyourchildrengotoschoolhere,you’llunderstand.For

now,pleasejustvoteforwhoeveryouthinkwillearnahighbid.Andclass,”sheadded,“we’redownto

nineminutes.”

The room fell quiet.And as I read down the list ofover one hundred and fifty eighth-grade boys, I

realizedthattome,therehadonlyeverbeenoneboy.Tome,therehadonlybeenBryce.

Ididn’t let myself getsentimental. I had liked him for all the wrong reasons, and I certainly wasn’t

goingtovoteforhimnow.ButIdidn’tknowwhoelsetovotefor.IlookedatMrs.Simmons,whowas

eagle-eyeingtheclassbetweenglancesattheclock.WhatifIdidn’tchooseanybody?WhatifIjustturned

itinblank?

She’dgivemedetention,that’swhat.Sowithtwominuteslefttogo,IputdotsnexttotheboysIknew

whoweren’tjerksorclowns,butwerejustnice.WhenIwasthrough,therewerealloftennameswith

dots,andofthoseIcircledfive:RyanNoll,VinceOlson,AdrianIglesias,IanLai,andJonTrulock.They

wouldn’tmakebasketboy,butthenIwouldn’tbebidding,soitdidn’treallymatter.AtthebellIhanded

overmyballotandforgotallabouttheauction.

Untillunchtimethenextday,thatis.Darlacutmeoffonmywaytothelibraryanddraggedmeoverto

hertableinstead.“Haveyouseenthelist?”sheasked.

“Whatlist?”

“The list of basket boys!” She shoved a scrawled copy of twenty names in front of me and looked

around.“Yourmaindishisonit!”

Fivefromthetop,thereitwas—BryceLoski.

Ishouldhaveexpectedit,butstill,thisawfulsurgeofpossessivenessshotthroughme.Whohadvoted

forhim?Outofonehundredfiftynameshemusthavegottenalotofvotes!SuddenlyIwaspicturinga

swarmofgirlswavingstacksofcashintheBoosterladies’facesastheybeggedtohavelunchwithhim.

IthrewthelistbackatDarlaandsaid,“He’snotmymaindish!Asamatteroffact,Ididn’tevenvote

forhim.”

“Oooo,girl!Youarestickin’toyourdiet!”

“It’snotadiet,Darla.I’m…I’moverhim,okay?”

“I’mgladtohearit,’causerumoris,thatbimbetteShellyisalreadystakin’herclaimonhim.”

“Shelly?ShellyStalls?”Icouldfeelmycheeksflush.

“That’sright.”Darlawavedherlistintheair,calling,“Liz!Macy!Overhere!I’vegotthelist!”

Darla’sfriendsfellalloverthemselvesgettingtoher,thenporedoverthepaperlikeitwasatreasure

map.Macycried,“ChadOrmonde’sonit!Heissocute.I’dgotenbucksonhim,easy!”

“AndDenny’sonit,too!”Lizsquealed.“Thatboyis”—sheshiveredandgiggled—“fi-yi-yine!”

Macy’stoplipcurledalittleandshesaid,“JonTrulock?JonTrulock?Howdidhegetonthislist?”

ForamomentIcouldn’tbelievemyears.IsnatchedthepaperoutofMacy’shand.“Areyousure?”

“Rightthere,”shesaid,pointingtohisname.“Whodoyousupposevotedforhim?”

“The quiet girls, I guess,” Darla said. “Me, I’m more interested in Mike Abenido. Have I got any

competition?”

Macylaughed,“Ifyou’rein,I’mout!”

“Metoo,”saidLiz.

“Howaboutyou,Jules?”Darlaaskedme.“Bringin’sparechangeonFriday?”

“No!”

“Yougettomissthesecondhalfofschool….”

“No!I’mnotbidding.Notonanyone!”

Shelaughed.“Goodforyou.”

That afternoon I rode home from school brooding about Bryce and the whole basket boy auction. I

couldfeelmyselfbackslidingaboutBryce.ButwhyshouldIcareifShellylikedhim?Ishouldn’tevenbe

thinkingabouthim!

WhenIwasn’tthinkingaboutBryce,IwasworryingaboutpoorJonTrulock.Hewasquiet,andIfelt

sorryforhim,havingtoclutchabasketandbeauctionedoffinfrontofthewholestudentbody.WhathadI

donetohim?

ButasIbouncedupourdrive,basketboysbouncedrightoutofmymind.WasthatgreenIsawpoking

outofthedirt?Yes!Yes,itwas!Idroppedthebikeandgotdownonmyhandsandknees.Theywereso

thin,sosmall,sofarapart!Theybarelymadeadifferenceinthevastnessoftheblackdirt,andyetthere

theywere.Pushingtheirwaythroughtotheafternoonsun.

Iraninthehouse,calling,“Mom!Mom,there’sgrass!”

“Really?”Sheemergedfromthebathroomwithhercleaningglovesandapail.“Iwaswonderingifit

wasevergoingtospringup.”

“Well,ithas!Come!Comeandsee!”

She wasn’t tooimpressed at first.ButafterI madeher getdown onher hands and knees and really

look,shesmiledandsaid,“They’resodelicate….”

“Theylooklikethey’reyawning,don’tthey?”

Shecockedherheadabitandlookedalittlecloser.“Yawning?”

“Well,morestretching,Iguess.Likethey’resittingupintheirlittlebedofdirtwiththeirarmsstretched

wayhigh,saying,Goodmorning,world!”

Shelaughedandsaid,“Yes,theydo!”

Igotupanduncoiledthehose.“Ithinktheyneedawakeupshower,don’tyou?”

Mymomagreedandleftmetomysingingandsprinkling.AndIwascompletelylostinthejoyofmy

littlegreenbladesofnewlifewhenIheardtheschoolbusrumbletoastopuponCollierStreet.

Bryce.Hisnameshotthroughmybrain,andwithitcameapanicIdidn’tseemabletocontrol.BeforeI

couldstopmyself,Idroppedthehoseanddashedinside.

I locked myself in my room and tried to do my homework. Where was my peace? Where was my

resolve?Wherewasmysanity?HadtheyleftmebecauseShellyStallswasafterhim?Wasitjustsome

oldrivalrymakingmefeelthisway?IhadtogetpastBryceandShelly.Theydeservedeachother—let

themhaveeachother!

ButinmyheartIknewthatjustlikethenewgrass,Iwasn’tstrongenoughyettobewalkedon.And

untilIwas,therewasonlyonesolution:Ihadtostayawayfromhim.Ineededtoropehimoutofmylife.

SoIclosedmyearstothenewsofbasketboysandsteeredclearofBryceatschool.AndwhenIdid

happentorunintohim,IsimplysaidhellolikehewassomeoneIbarelyevenknew.

Itwasworking,too!Iwasgrowingstrongerbytheday.Whocaredaboutauctionsandbasketboys?I

didn’t!

FridaymorningIgotupearly,collectedwhatfeweggstherewereinthecoop,wateredthefrontyard,

whichwasbynowdefinitelygreen,atebreakfast,andgotreadyforschool.

ButasIwasrunningabrushthroughmyhair,Icouldn’thelpthinkingaboutShellyStalls.Itwasauction

day.She’dprobablybeenupsincefive,makingherhairintosomeimpossiblypouffydo.

Sowhat?Itoldmyself.Sowhat?ButasIwasthrowingonmywindbreaker,Ieyedmymoneytinand

hesitated.Whatif…

No!No-no-no!

Irantothegarage,gotmybike,andpushedoutofthedriveway.AndIwasinthestreetandonmyway

whenMrs.Stuebyflewrightinmypath.“Julianna,”shecalled,wavingherhandthroughtheair.“Here,

dear.Takethis.I’msosorryit’stakenmethislongtogetittoyou.Ikeepmissingyouinthemornings.”

Ididn’tevenknowhowmuchsheowedme.AtthatmomentIdidn’tcare.AllIknewwasthetopbillin

herhandwasaten,anditwasstrikingterrorinmyheart.“Mrs.Stueby,please.I…Idon’twantthat.You

don’thavetopayme.”

“Nonsense,child!OfcourseI’mgoingtopayyou.Here!”shesaid,andwaveditoutformetotake.

“No,really.I…Idon’twantit.”

Shewedgeditinthepocketofmyjeansandsaid,“Whatutternonsense.Nowgo!Gobuyyourselfa

rooster!”thenhurriedbackupherwalkway.

“Mrs.Stueby…Mrs.Stueby?”Icalledafterher.“Idon’twantarooster…!”butshewasgone.

AllthewaytoschoolMrs.Stueby’smoneywasburningaholeinmypocketandanotherinmybrain.

Howmuchwasit?

WhenIgottoschool,Iparkedmybike,thenbrokedownandlooked.Ten,fifteen,sixteen,seventeen,

eighteen.Ifoldedthebillstogetherandslidthembackintomypocket.WasitmorethanShellyhad?

AllthroughfirstperiodIwasfuriouswithmyselfforeventhinkingit.AllthroughsecondperiodIkept

myeyesoffofBryce,butoh!Itwassohard!I’dneverseenhiminatieandcufflinksbefore!

ThenatbreakIwasatmylockerwhenShellyStallsappearedoutofnowhere.Shegotrightnexttome

andsaid,“Ihearyou’replanningtobidonhim.”

“What?”Itookastepback.“Whotoldyouthat?Iamnot!”

“Someonesaidtheysawyouwithawholewadofcashthismorning.Howmuchdoyouhave?”

“It’s…it’snoneofyourbusiness.AndI’mnotbidding,okay?I…Idon’tevenlikehimanymore.”

Shelaughed,“Oh,that’llbetheday!”

“It’strue.”Islammedmylockerclosed.“Goaheadandwasteyourmoneyonhim.Idon’tcare.”

Ilefthertherewithhermouthopen,whichfeltevenbetterthangettingherinaheadlock.

Thatfeelingcarriedmeclearthroughtoeleveno’clock,whentheentirestudentbodyassembledinthe

gymnasium.IwasnotgoingtobidonBryceLoski.Noway!

Thenthebasketboyscameoutonthestage.Brycelookedsoadorableholdingapicnicbasketwithred-

and-white-checkednapkinspeekingoutfromeitherside,andthethoughtofShellyStallsflippingoneof

thosenapkinsintoherlapnearlymadethebillsinmypocketburstintoflames.

Darlacameupbehindmeandwhispered,“Rumorisyou’vegotawadofcash.Isthattrue?”

“What?No!Imean,yes,butI…I’mnotbidding.”

“Oooo,girl,lookatyou.Youfeelin’allright?”

Iwasn’t.Ifeltsicktomystomachandshakyintheknees.“I’mfine,”Itoldher.“Fine.”

Shelookedfrommetothestageandbacktome.“Yougotnothin’tolosebutyourself-respect.”

“Stopit!”Iwhisperedatherfiercely.ItfeltlikeIwashavingapanicattack.Icouldn’tbreathe.Ifelt

light-headedandwobbly—likeIwasn’tincontrolofmyownbody.

Darlasaid,“Maybeyoushouldsitdown.”

“I’mfine,Darla,I’mfine.”

Shefrownedatme.“IthinkI’llstickaroundtomakesure.”

TheBoosterClubpresident,Mrs.McClure,hadbeenflutteringaroundthebasketboys,fixingtiesand

givingthemlast-minuteinstructions,butnowsuddenlyshewasslamminghergavelonthepodium,calling

intothemicrophone,“Ifyou’llallsettledown,we’rereadytobegin.”

I’dneverseensixhundredkidsquietdownsofast.IguessMrs.McClurehadn’teither,becauseshe

smiled and said, “Why, thank you. Thank you very much.” Then she said, “And welcome to the fifty-

secondannualBasketBoyAuction!Iknowthatyourteachershavegoneovertheprocedureswithyouin

homeroom, but I’ve been asked to remind you of a few things: This is a civilized proceeding. No

whistling,catcalls,orother degradingbehaviorwillbe tolerated.Ifyouwishtoplaceabid, youmust

raiseyourhandhigh.Biddingwithoutraisingyourhandisprohibited,andshouldyoudecidetobeafunny

guy,youwillbecaughtanddetainedorsuspended.Areweallclearonthat?Good.”Shelookedfromone

sideofthegymtotheother.“Teachers,Iseethatyouareinposition.”

Sixhundredheadsturnedslowlyfromsidetoside,lookingattheblockadeofteachersoneithersideof

thegym.

“Man,”Darlawhispered,“they’renotleavingmuchroomforfun,arethey?”

Mrs.McClurecontinued,“Minimumbidistendollars,andofcourse,thesky’sthelimit,butwedon’t

acceptIOUs.”Shepointedtoherright.“Winningbiddersshouldgodirectlytothetableatthenorthdoor

whenIdeclarethebaskettobesold.Andasyou’reaware,winnersandtheirbasketboyshavetherestof

the school day off and are exempt from tonight’s homework in all classes.” She smiled out at the

blockade.“Teachers,weappreciateyoursupportonthis.

“Allright,then!”Sheputonherreadingglassesandlookedatathree-by-fivecard.“Ourfirstbasket

hasbeenbroughtbyJeffreyBisho.”Shelookedoverherglassesathimandsaid,“Comeonup,Jeffrey.

Don’tbeshy!”Heinchedforwardasshecontinued.“Jeffreyhasbroughtascrumptiouslunchconsisting

ofchickensaladsandwiches,orientalnoodles,babygrapes,icedtea,andfortunecookies.”Shesmiledat

him over her glasses. “Sounds delicious, and sounds like fun! Which,” she said, looking back at the

crowd,“Jeffreyis!Heenjoysskateboarding,skiing,andswimming,butladies,healsoenjoysadayinthe

park and watchingHumphreyBogart movies.” She turned tohim and grinned. “They are a kick, aren’t

they?”

PoorJefftriedtosmile,butyoucouldtell—hewantedtodie.

“Allright,then,”saidMrs.McClureasshewhippedoffherglasses.“DoIhearten?”

Not only did she hear ten, she heard twelve, fifteen, twenty, and twenty-five, too!

“Going…going…gone!”criedMrs.McClure.“Totheyoungladyinthepurpletunic!”

“Whoisthat?”IaskedDarla.

“Ithinkhername’sTiffany,”shesaid.“She’saseventhgrader.”

“Really?Wow.Iwouldneverhavebidlastyear!AndI…Idon’trememberbidsgoingupthathigh,

either.”

Darlaeyedme.“Whichtellsmethatmaybeyouwouldbidthisyear?Howmuchyougot?”

Ilookedather andalmostdissolvedrightonthespot.“Darla,Ididn’tbringmoneyonpurpose!My

neighbormademetakeitonthewaytoschoolbecausesheowedittomeforeggsand—”

“Foreggs?Oh,likeBrycewastalkingaboutinthelibrary?”

“Exactly,and—”Ilookedatherlookingatmeandstoppedcold.

“Howcanyoueventhinkaboutbiddingonthatboy?”

“Idon’twantto!ButI’velikedhim forso long.Darla,I’ve likedhimsinceIwasseven. And even

though I know he’s a coward and a sneak and I should never speak to him again, I’m having trouble

focusingonthat.EspeciallysinceShellyStallsisafterhim.AndnowI’vegotthismoneyburningaholein

mypocket!”

“Well,IcanunderstandthebitaboutShellyStalls,butifyouknowthatboy’sjustabigpieceoffluffy

cheesecakethatyou’regonnaregreteating,Icanhelpyouwithyourdiet.”Sheputoutherhand.“Giveme

themoney.I’llholditforyou.”

“No!”

“No?”

“Imean…Icanhandlethis.I’vegottohandleit.”

Sheshookherhead.“Oh,girl.I’mhurtingforyouhere.”

Ilookedbackatthestage.Theauctionwashappeningsofast!They’dbeatBryceinnotime.Asthe

biddingcontinued,thebattleinmyheadgotlouderandfiercer.WhatwasIgoingtodo?

Thensuddenlythegymfellquiet.Youcouldhaveheardapindrop.AndstandingnexttoMrs.McClure

looking completely mortified was Jon Trulock. Mrs. McClure was scouring the crowd with her eyes,

lookingveryuncomfortable,too.

“Whathappened?”IwhisperedtoDarla.

“Noone’sbidding,”shewhisperedback.

“DoIhearten?”calledMrs.McClure.“Comeon,outthere!Thislunchisdelicious.Strawberrytarts,

roastbeefandMuenstercheesesandwiches…”

“Oh,no!”IwhisperedtoDarla.“Ican’tbelieveIdidthistohim!”

“You?Whatdidyoudo?”

“Ivotedforhim!”

“Well,youcouldn’thavebeentheonlyone….”

“Butwhyisn’tanyonebiddingonhim?He’s…he’ssonice.”

Darlanodded.“Exactly.”

That’swhenIrealizedwhatIhadtodo.MyhandshotintotheairandIcalled,“Ten!”

“Ten?”warbledMrs.McClure.“DidIhearten?”

IputmyhanduphigherandsaidtoDarla,“Saytwelve.”

“What?”

“Saytwelve,I’lloutbidyou.”

“Noway!”

“Darla!Hecan’tgoforten,c’mon!”

“Twelve!”Darlacalled,butherhanddidn’tgoupveryhigh.

“Fifteen!”Icried.

“Sixteen!”calledDarla,andeyedmewithalaugh.

Iwhispered,“Darla!I’veonlygotfifteen.”

Hereyesgotenormous.

Ilaughedandcalled,“Eighteen!”thenheldherarmdownandsaid,“ButthatreallyisallI’vegot.”

There was a moment of silence and then, “Eighteen going once! Eighteen going twice … Sold! for

eighteendollars.”

Darlalaughedandsaid,“Whoa,girl!Whatarush!”

Inodded.“Yes,itwas!”

“Well, no dessert for you. Looks like you got cleaned out by something a little

more … uh … nutritious.” She nodded toward the stage. “You gonna go up to the table like you’re

supposedto?Oryougonnastickaroundandseethecarnage?”

Ialmostdidn’thaveachoice.BeforeMrs.McClurecouldsaytwowordsaboutBryceorhisbasket,

Shellycalled,“Ten!”Thenfromthemiddleofthegymcame“Twenty!”ItwasMirandaHumes,withher

hand way in the air. They went back and forth, back and forth, higher and higher, until Shelly called,

“Sixty-two!”

“Ican’tbelieveit,”IwhisperedtoDarla.“Sixty-twodollars!C’mon,Miranda,comeon.”

“Ithinkshe’sout.Shelly’sgotit.”

“Sixty-twodollarsgoingonce!”criedMrs.McClure,butbeforeshecouldsay,Goingtwice!avoice

fromthebackofthegymcalled,“Ahundred!”

Everyonegaspedandturnedaroundtoseewhohadcalledthebid.Darlawhispered,“It’sJenny.”

“Atkinson?”Iasked.

Darlapointed.“Rightoverthere.”

Shewaseasytospot,standingtallabovetheothersinthenumber-sevenbasketballjerseyshealmost

alwayswore.“Wow,”Iwhispered,“Ihadnoidea.”

“Maybeshe’llslam-dunkhimforyou,”Darlasaidwithagrin.

“Whocares?”Igiggled.“Sheslam-dunkedShelly!”

Mrs.McClurewasgushingintothemicrophoneabouttherecord-breakingbidwhenabigcommotion

brokeoutoverbyMiranda.IspottedShelly’shair,andmyfirstthoughtwasthattherewasgoingtobea

fight.Butinstead,ShellyandMirandaturnedtofaceMrs.McClureandcalled,“One-twenty-twofifty!”

Ichokeddownacry.“What?”

“They’reteamin’up,”Darlawhispered.

“Oh,no-no-no!”IlookedoverJenny’sway.“Comeon,Jenny!”

Darlashookherheadandsaid,“She’sthrough,”andshewas.BrycewenttoShellyandMirandafor

onehundredtwenty-twodollarsandfiftycents.



Itwasalittlestrange,meetingupwithJonandwalkingovertothemulti-purposeroomforlunch.But

hewasjustsonice,andIthinkgratefulthatI’dbid,thatbythetimewegotsituatedatourtable,Iwasn’t

feelingsoawkwardorsilly.Itwasjustlunch.

Thingswouldhavebeeneasieriftheyhadn’tseatedmeindirectviewofBryceandhislittleharem,but

Ididmybesttoignorethem.Jontoldmeallaboutthisradio-controlledairplanethatheandhisdadwere

building from scratch, and how he’d been working on it for nearly three months, and that over the

weekendtheywerefinallygoingtogettotryitout.Hetoldmeafunnystoryaboutsolderingthewires

wrong and practically starting a fire in their basement, and I asked him about how a radio-controlled

airplaneworksbecauseIdidn’treallyunderstandit.

SoI’drelaxedalotandwasactuallyhavingagoodtimeeatinglunchwithJon.AndIwassorelieved

that I hadn’t bid on Bryce. What a fool I would have made of myself! Watching Shelly and Miranda

fawning all over him didn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it would. Really, they looked

ridiculous.

Jon asked about my family, so I was telling him about my brothers and their band when a huge

commotionbrokeoutoveratBryce’stable.SuddenlyShellyandMirandawererollingonthefloorlikean

enormousfurball,smearingeachotherwithfood.

Outof nowhere Bryce appeared atour table. Hegrabbed my hand,pulled me a few feet away, and

whispered,“Doyoulikehim?”

Iwasstunned.

Heheldmyotherhandandaskedagain,“Doyoulikehim?”

“YoumeanJon?”

“Yes!”

Ican’trememberwhatIsaid.Hewaslookingintomyeyes,holdingmyhandstight,andthenhebegan

pullingmetowardhim.Myheartwasracingandhiseyeswereclosingandhisfacewascomingtoward

mine….Rightthere,infrontofalltheotherbasketboysandtheirdatesandtheadults,hewasgoingto

kissme.



Tokissme.

Ipanicked.I’dbeenwaitingallmylifeforthatkiss,andnow?

Iyankedfreeandranbacktomytable,andwhenIsatdownJonwhispered,“Didhejusttrytokiss

you?”

I turned my chair away from Bryce and whispered, “Can we please talk about something else?

Anythingelse?”

Peoplewerewhisperingandlookingmyway,andwhenShellyStallscamebackfromcleaningupin

thewashroom,everyonefellquiet.Herhairlookedawful.Itwassortofoiledtoherscalpandstillhad

littlechunksoffoodinit.Sheglaredatme soharditlookedlikeshewastryingtogetlaserbeamsto

shootfromhereyes.

Acoupleofadults steeredher back toher seat,andtheneveryone started whispering double-speed.

And Bryce didn’t even seem to care! He kept trying to come over and talk to me, but either he’d get

interceptedbyateacherorI’ddashawayfromhimbeforehehadachancetosayanything.

Whenthedismissalbellfinallyrang,IsaidaquickgoodbyetoJonandboltedoutthedoor.Icouldn’t

reachmybikefastenough!Iwasthefirstoneoffcampus,andIpedaledhomesoharditfeltasthoughmy

lungswouldburst.

Mrs. Stueby was out front watering her flower bed and she tried to say something to me, but I just

dropped my bike in the driveway and escaped into the house. I certainly didn’t want to talk about

roosters!

Mymotherheardmeslammingdoorsandcametocheckonmeinmyroom.“Julianna!What’swrong?”

Iflippedoveronmybedtofaceherandwailed,“Iamsoconfused!Idon’tknowwhattothinkorfeel

ordo…!”

Shesatdownbesidemeonthebedandstrokedmyhair.“Tellmewhathappened,sweetheart.”

Ihesitated,thenthrewmyhandsupintheair.“Hetriedtokissme!”

Mymotherstrugglednottoletitshow,butunderneathhercomposedexpressionwasagrowingsmile.

Sheleanedinalittleandasked,“Whodid?”

“Bryce!”

Shehesitated.“Butyou’vealwayslikedhim….”

Thedoorbellrang.Andrangagain.Mymomstartedtogetup,butIgrabbedherarmandsaid,“Don’t

getthat!”Thebellrangagain,andalmostrightafterthattherewasaloudknockingatthedoor.“Mom,

please!Don’tgetit.That’sprobablyhim!”

“Butsweetheart…”

“Iwasoverhim!Completelyoverhim!”

“Sincewhen?”

“SincelastFriday.Afterthedinner.Ifhehadvanishedfromthefaceoftheearthafterourdinneratthe

Loskis’,Iwouldn’thavecared!”

“Why?DidsomethinghappenatthedinnerthatIdon’tknowabout?”

Ithrewmyselfbackontomypillowandsaid,“It’stoocomplicated,Mom!I…Ijustcan’ttalkabout

it.”

“My,”shesaidafteramoment.“Don’tyousoundlikeateenager.”

“I’msorry,”Iwhimpered,becauseIknewIwashurtingherfeelings.Isatupandsaid,“Mom,allthose

yearsIlikedhim?Ineverreallyknewhim.AllIknewwasthathehadthemostbeautifuleyesI’dever

seenandthathissmilemeltedmyheartlikethesunmeltsbutter.ButnowIknowthatinsidehe’sacoward

andasneak,soI’vegottogetoverwhathe’slikeontheoutside!”

Mymotherleanedbackandcrossedherarms.“Well,”shesaid.“Isn’tthissomething.”

“Whatdoyoumean?”

Shechewedthesideofonecheek,thenmovedovertochewtheother.Atlastshesaid,“Ishouldn’t

reallydiscussit.”

“Whynot?”

“Because…Ijustshouldn’t.Besides,Icantelltherearethingsyoudon’tfeelcomfortablediscussing

withme….”

Westaredateachotheramoment,neitherofussayingaword.FinallyIlookeddownandwhispered,

“When Chet and I were fixing up the yard, I told him how we didn’t own the house and about Uncle

David. He must have told the rest of the family, because the day before the Loskis’ dinner party I

overheard Bryceand hisfriendmaking cracksaboutUncleDavidatschool. Iwasfurious, butIdidn’t

wantyoutoknowbecauseyou’dthinktheywereonlyinvitingusoverbecausetheyfeltsorryforus.”I

looked at her and said, “You just seemed so happy about being invited for dinner.” Then I realized

something.“Andyouknow,you’veseemedhappiereversince.”

She held my hand and smiled. “I have a lot to be happy about.” Then she sighed and said, “And I

alreadyknewtheyknewaboutUncleDavid.Itwasfinethatyoutalkedabouthim.He’snotasecretor

anything.”

Isatupalittle.“Wait…howdidyouknow?”

“Patsytoldme.”

Iblinkedather.“Shedid?Beforethedinner?”

“No,no.After.”Shehesitated,thensaid,“Patsy’sbeenoverseveraltimesthisweek.She’s…she’s

goingthroughaveryroughtime.”

“Howcome?”

Momletoutadeepbreathandsaid,“Ithinkyou’rematureenoughtokeepthisinsidethesefourwalls,

andI’monlytellingyoubecause…becauseIthinkit’srelevant.”

Iheldmybreathandwaited.

“PatsyandRickhavebeenhavingferociousfightslately.”

“Mr.andMrs.Loski?Whatabout?”

Momsighed.“Abouteverything,itseems.”

“Idon’tunderstand.”

Veryquietlymymothersaid,“Forthefirsttimeinherlife,Patsyisseeingherhusbandforwhatheis.

It’s twenty years andtwo children late, butthat’s what she’s doing.” She gave me a sad smile. “Patsy

seemstobegoingthroughthesamethingyouare.”

The phone rang and Mom said, “Let me get that, okay? Your dad said he’d call if he was working

overtime,andthat’sprobablyhim.”

Whileshewasgone,IrememberedwhatChethadsaidaboutsomeoneheknewwhohadneverlearned

tolookbeneaththesurface.Hadhebeentalkingabouthisowndaughter?Andhowcouldthishappento

heraftertwentyyearsofmarriage?

Whenmymothercameback,Iabsentlyasked,“IsDadworkinglate?”

“Thatwasn’tDad,sweetheart.ItwasBryce.”

Isatstraightup.“Nowhe’scalling?Ihavelivedacrossthestreetfromhimforsixyearsandhe’snever

oncecalledme!Ishedoingthisbecausehe’sjealous?”

“Jealous?Ofwhom?”

SoIgavehertheblow-by-blow,beginningwithMrs.Stueby,goingclearthroughDarla,theauction,the

furballfight,andendingwithBrycetryingtokissmeinfrontofeverybody.

Sheclappedherhandsandpositivelygiggled.

“Mom,it’snotfunny!”

Shetriedtostraightenup.“Iknow,sweetheart,Iknow.”

“Idon’twanttowinduplikeMrs.Loski!”

“Youdon’thavetomarrytheboy,Julianna.Whydon’tyoujustlistentowhathehastosay?Hesounded

desperatetotalktoyou.”

“Whatcouldhepossiblyhavetosay?He’salreadytriedtoblameGarrettforwhathesaidaboutUncle

David,andI’msorry,butIdon’tbuyit.He’sliedtome,hehasn’tstoodupforme…he’s…he’snobody

thatIwanttolike.Ijustneedsometimetogetoverallthoseyearsofhavinglikedhim.”

Mom sat there for the longest time, biting her cheek. Then she said, “People do change, you know.

Maybehe’shadsomerevelationslately,too.Andfrankly,anyboywhotriestokissagirlinfrontofa

roomfullofotherkidsdoesnotsoundlikeacowardtome.”Shestrokedmyhairandwhispered,“Maybe

there’smoretoBryceLoskithanyouknow.”

Thensheleftmealonewithmythoughts.



MymotherknewIneededtimetothink,butBrycewouldn’tleavemealone.Hekeptcallingonthe

phoneandknockingonthedoor.Heevensnuckaroundthehouseandtappedonmywindow!EverytimeI

turnedaround,therehewas,pesteringme.

Iwantedtobeabletowatertheyardinpeace.Iwantednottohavetoavoidhimatschool orhave

Darlarunblockforme.Whydidn’theunderstandthatIwasn’tinterestedinwhathehadtosay?What

couldhepossiblyhavetosay?

Wasitsomuchtoaskjusttobeleftalone?

ThenthisafternoonIwasreadingabookinthefrontroomwiththecurtainsdrawn,hidingfromhimasI

hadallweek,whenIheardanoiseintheyard.IpeekedoutsideandtherewasBryce,walkingacrossmy

grass.Stompingallovermygrass!Andhewascarryingaspade!Whatwasheplanningtodowiththat?

Iflewoffthecouchandyankedopenthedoorandranrightintomyfather.“Stophim!”Icried.

“Calmdown,Julianna,”hesaid,andeasedmebackinside.“Igavehimpermission.”

“Permission!Permissiontodowhat?”Iflewbacktothewindow.“He’sdiggingahole.”

“That’sright.Itoldhimhecould.”

“Butwhy?”

“Ithinktheboyhasaverygoodidea,that’swhy.”

“But—”

“It’snotgoingtokillyourgrass,Julianna.Justlethimdowhathe’scometodo.”

“Butwhatisit?What’shedoing?”

“Watch.You’llfigureitout.”

It was torture seeing him dig up my grass. The hole he was making was enormous! How could my

fatherlethimdothistomyyard?

BryceknewIwasthere,too,becausehelookedatmeonceandnodded.Nosmile,nowave,justanod.

He dragged over some pottingsoil,piercedthe bag with the spade, and shoveled dirt into the hole.

Thenhedisappeared.Andwhenhecameback,hewrestledabigburlappedrootballacrossthelawn,the

branchesofaplantrustlingbackandforthashemoved.

Mydadjoinedmeonthecouchandpeekedoutthewindow,too.

“Atree?”Iwhispered.“He’splantingatree?”

“I’dhelphim,buthesayshehastodothishimself.”

“Isita…”Thewordsstuckinmythroat.

Ididn’treallyneedtoask,though,andheknewhedidn’tneedtoanswer.Icouldtellfromtheshapeof

theleaves,fromthetextureofthetrunk.Thiswasasycamoretree.

Iflippedaroundonthecouchandjustsat.

Asycamoretree.

Brycefinishedplantingthetree,wateredit,cleanedeverythingup,andthenwenthome.AndIjustsat

there,notknowingwhattodo.

I’vebeensittinghereforhoursnow,juststaringoutthewindowatthetree.Itmaybelittlenow,but

it’llgrow,daybyday.Andahundredyearsfromnowit’llreachclearovertherooftops.It’llbemilesin

theair!AlreadyIcantell—it’sgoingtobeanamazing,magnificenttree.

AndIcan’thelpwondering,ahundredyearsfromnowwillakidclimbitthewayIclimbedtheoneup

onCollierStreet?WillsheseethethingsIdid?WillshefeelthewayIdid?

Willitchangeherlifethewayitchangedmine?

Ialsocan’tstopwonderingaboutBryce.Whathashebeentryingtotellme?What’shethinkingabout?

Iknowhe’shomebecausehelooksouthiswindowfromtimetotime.Alittlewhileagoheputhishand

upandwaved.AndIcouldn’thelpit—Igavealittlewaveback.

SomaybeIshouldgooverthereandthankhimforthetree.Maybewecouldsitontheporchandtalk.It

justoccurredtomethatin alltheyears we’veknowneachother,we’venever donethat.Never really

talked.

Maybemymother’sright.MaybethereismoretoBryceLoskithanIknow.

Maybeit’stimetomeethimintheproperlight.



ACONVERSATIONWITH

WENDELINVANDRAANENABOUTFLIPPED



Q:CanyoutalkaboutyourinspirationsforwritingFlipped?Didyouhavesomeunrequitedcrushes

ofyourown?Orhaveannoyingpeoplecrushingonyou?

A:IwaslikeyoungJuli,withamassivecrushontheneighborboy,andlikeyoungJuli,I’msureIwas

incrediblyannoying.ButbeingahighschoolteacherwastherealinspirationforwritingFlipped.I’dsee

studentswithmondocrushesandwanttosaytothegirls,“Oh,honey,heissonotworthit,”ortotheguys,

“She may be hot,but that’s all she’s got,” butof course I’m their teacher andthere’s no way they can

imaginethatIknowhowtheyfeel.SoIwroteFlippedasawayoftalkingtoteensaboutseeingothersfor

whotheyareinsteadofwhattheylooklike.IwishI’dfoundabooklikeitwhenIwasgrowingup.It

wouldhavehelpedmealot.

Q:It’sgreattohearthestoryfrombothBryce’sandJuli’spointofview—wasityourplanfromthe

beginningtotellthisinalternatingchapters?

A:Myplanwastwoviewpoints,butoriginallyIenvisionedthebooktobeonethathadtwosides—

Bryce’ssideandJuli’sside—whereyouwouldhavetoflipthebookovertoreadtheotherpointofview

andthesectionswouldmeetinthemiddle.Ilovethesymbolismofthis,butwhenitcamedowntoit,the

storytellingwasbetterservedbyhavingalternatingchapters.

Q:Haveyoueverraisedchicks?Areyouaclimberoftrees?Doyouplayinabandwithacontinually

changingname?!Allthedetailsinthebookaresovivid—aretheydrawnfromyourownlife?

A:No,yes,and,uh…yeah.Althoughthebandhasneverhadanamethathadanythingtodowithleg

lifting. Writing is a combination of experiences and research, and the whole chick thing took a lot of

research.Climbingthetree?Thatwasverynaturaltowriteabout.Skyler’sgarage?Pieceofcake.

Q:DoyouhaveanyplanstowriteasequeltoFlipped?

A:I’vehadalotofrequestsforasequel,butIthinkit’sthewrongthingtodo.Mypurposeforthis

bookistogetthereadertothinkaboutwhattheywouldwantforthemselvesinarelationship.IfIwritea

sequelandshowwhathappenstoBryceandJuli,thenthat’sansweringthequestionforthem.WhatItell

fansistoputthemselvesintoBryce’sorJuli’sshoesandlivetheirlifeinawaythatwouldmakeforthe

futuretheywouldwant.

Q:IknowfanshavewrittentoyoucomplainingthatJuliandBrycedon’tkissattheendofthebook.

Whydidyoumakethatchoice?

A:Becausethewholepointofthebookisthattrueloveisanchoredinknowingandrespectingthe

person.AndalthoughJuliandBrycearefinallystartingtoseeeachotherforwhotheyare,thisprocess

takestime.Ilovetheopen-endedoptimismofFlipped,butIdounderstandthatmyreaderswantedtosee

kissing,soIdedicatedmynextromanticcomedy—ConfessionsofaSerialKisser—tofansofFlipped.

You wanted kissing? You got kissing! And although, as in Flipped, the premise seems simple,

Confessionshasalotgoingon“beneaththesurface.”Itmaybewrappedinhumorandkissing,butit’s

reallyastoryaboutfindingyourselfandthehealingpowerofforgiveness.

HERE’SASNEAKPEEK

ATANOTHERGREATROMANCE

FROMWENDELINVANDRAANEN



byWendelinVanDraanenParsons.

Allrightsreserved.



DirtyLaundry



MYNAMEISEVANGELINEBIANCALOGAN,andIamaserialkisser.

Ihaven’talwaysbeenaserialkisser.TherewasatimenotthatlongagowhenIhadnexttonokissing

experience.It’sinterestinghowthingscanchangesofast—howyoucangofrombeingsixteenwithvery

fewlip-lockingcredentialstobeingbarelyseventeenandacertifiedserialkisser.

Itallstartedonedaywithdirtylaundry.

Atleastthat’swhatItraceitbackto.

My mother had said, “Evangeline, please. I could really use some help around the house.” She’d

lookedsotired,and whatwithhomeworkandtheamountoftimeI’dbeenwasting atGroove Records

looking through old LPs and CDs, I had been slacking. Especially compared to the hours she’d been

working.

SoafterschoolthenextdayIkickedintogear.IhadthecondotomyselfbecauseMomwasworkingher

usualelevenA.M.toeightP.M.shift,andsincemytasteinmusicisoldbluesandclassicrock(probably

thankstobeingbombardedwithitsincemyearlydaysinthewomb),IselectedanAerosmithgreatesthits

CDandcrankeditup.

I made the kitchen spotless during “Mama Kin,” “Dream On,” “Same Old Song and Dance,” and

“Seasons of Wither,” sang along with “Walk This Way” and “Sweet Emotion” while I cleaned the

bathroom,thentidiedthebedroomsthrough“LastChild”and“BackintheSaddle.”

It was during the pulsing beat of “Dude (Looks Like a Lady)” that I began my fateful search for

waywardlaundry.

LaundryattheLogangirls’residenceisn’tfoundinhampers.It’sfoundonthefloor,drapedoverchairs,

putrefyinginboxesandbaskets…it’sanywheremymomandIwanttodumpit.Andinmyrocked-out

stateIwascheckingforlaundryinplacesI’dneverlookedbefore.Likeonherclosetfloor,behindand

betweenthebigpackingboxesthatstillserveasmymother’sdresser,andthenundermymother’sbed.It

wastherethatIdiscoveredonedustysockandawholelibraryofbooks.

Notjustrandombooks,either.

Romancebooks.

AtfirstallIcoulddowasgawkatthecovers.I’dseenthesekindsofbooksatthegrocerystore,but

theyweresoobviouslystupidandtrashythatIwouldn’tbecaughtdeadactuallylookingatone.

ButnowhereIwaswithawholelibraryoftrashinfrontofmeandnoworriesthatsomeonemightspot

me.

Soasstrainsof“Angel”beganplaying,Ilooked!

Ichecked outall the covers, then started readingthe blurbs on thebacks. Aerosmith eventually quit

playing,butIdidn’tevennotice.Iwasskimmingpages,laughingattheridiculous,floweryprose,myjaw

literally dropping as I read (in great detail) how one book’s chisel-chested man and his luscious lady

“joinedsoulsinsublimeadoration.”

Icouldn’tbelievewhatI’dfound.Couldn’tbelievemymother!WhileIwassloggingthroughTheLast

oftheMohicansandTheRedBadgeofCourageformyinsaneliteratureteacher,MissRyder,mymother

wasreadingbookswithbare-chestedmenandswooningwomen?MissRyderwouldhaveanEnglish-lit

fitoverthesebooks,andforonceI’dagreewithher!

ButforeachbookIputdown,Ipickedupanother.Andanother.Andanother.Why,Idon’tknow.WasI

lookingformoresouljoining?Idon’tthinkso.Somethingtoholdovermymother’shead?Shedidn’tneed

any more ravaging. Ithink it was more that I was still in shock over my mom beinga closet romance

freak.

ButaftertenpagesoutofthemiddleofabookcalledACrimsonKiss,somethingweird happened: I

actuallykindofcaredaboutDelilah,thewomanthatthestorywasabout.

Ireadsomemoreoutofthemiddle,butsinceIdidn’tgetwhyDelilahwasinherpredicament,Iwent

backtothebeginningtofigureitout.

Ihavenoideawherethetimewent.Iwascarriedawaybythestory,sweptintotheswirlofromance,

racinghearts,anticipation,andlove.Theywerethingsthatweremissinginmyreallife.Aftersixmonths

ofwatchingmyparents’marriageimplode,Ifoundithardtobelieveintruelove.

But inside the pages of this book my parents’ problems vanished. It was just Delilah and her hero,

Grayson—amanwhosekisswouldsaveherfromherheartacheandmakeherfeelalive.

Lovefeltpossible.

Onekiss—therightkiss—couldconquerall!

SoIreadon,devouringthebookuntilIwasjoltedbacktorealitybymymotherjanglingthroughthe

frontdoor.

Busted!

Inmypanic,itdidn’tevenoccurtomethatshewasreallytheonebusted.Ijustshovedherbooksback

underherbedandescapedtomyroomwithACrimsonKiss.

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ShiftingParadigms

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OVERTHENEXTFEWMONTHSIreadeverybookinmymother’ssub-mattresslibraryincludingaself-

helpbookonfindingyourinnerpowerandanotheronetitledACalltoActiononhowtotakechargeof

yourlife.(Booksshe’dgotten,nodoubt,tohelphergetovermytwo-timingdad.)

ButitwasACrimsonKissthatIkeptgoingbackto.ItwasACrimsonKissthatIreadandreread.The

other romance novels didn’t haveany layers to them;no real guts. It was like pop versus rock. Some

peoplelikethepuretonesofpop,buttomeit’sjustgloss.There’snothingbehindit.Givemetheheart-

wrenchinggrittygutsofbluesorrockanyday.

NotthatACrimsonKisswaswritteninagrittyway,butitsurewasheart-wrenching.Andthekissing

was incredibly passionate! I dreamed scenes from it at night, waking some mornings still feeling the

breathlesstranscendenceofaperfectlydeliveredkiss.

OnceIwasfullyawake,though,realitywouldstrike.

Itwasjustadream.

Justaromanticfantasy.

Then onemorning, Ifound a book on thekitchen table beside an empty bowl. (A bowlwith telltale

signsofmidnightbingeingonchocolateicecream.)Thebookwassplayedopen,spineup,andthetitle

wasWelcometoaBetterLife.

IlookeditoverasIatemyusualbefore-schoolbowlofcereal(inthiscase,Cheerios).Thesection

titleswerethingslike:“Re-envisionYourLife!”;“TheTimeIsNOW!”;“TheChangeIsYourstoMake!”;

“Living Your Best Life!”; “SeeIt,BeIt!”;“What Are You WaitingFor?”;“Shift Your Paradigm!”;and

“FourStepstoLivingYourFantasy!”

Fourstepstolivingmyfantasy?

ThisIhadtosee.

Toomanyanecdotesandtestimonialslater,theauthorfinallyputforthstepnumberone:

DefineYourFantasy.

Okaaaaay.

IpouredmyselfasecondbowlofCheeriosanddefinedmyfantasy:

Iwantedlove.AlovelikeGraysonandDelilah’s.

Butsomethingaboutthatfeltwrong.Itwastooheavy.Tooserious.

ItookabiteofCheerios,andasImunched,theimageofGraysonkissingDelilahdriftedthroughmy

mind.

Thatwasit.

Thekiss.

Iwantedmyown“crimsonkiss.”

Iwentbacktothebookanddiscoveredthatstepnumbertwowaseasy:

SpeakYourFantasy.

“Iwantacrimsonkiss,”Iwhisperedintothequietofthekitchen,feelingmorethanalittlesilly.

Stepthree:SeeYourFantasy.

IclosedmyeyesandpicturedmyselfasDelilah,picturedGraysonsweepingmeintohisarms,looking

lovingly into my eyes, his mouth descending toward mine, his lips brushing against mine, warm and

tender,fullofsmolderingpassion….

Oh,yeah.Icoulddefinitelyseeit.

I shook off the shivers, then turned the page and discovered that step number four was: Live Your

Fantasy.

Livemyfantasy?

HowwasIsupposedtodothat?

Allthebookreallyofferedbywayofexplanationwas,“Seeit,believeit,liveit.”

Isnortedandslappedthebookshut.Whatarip-off!

ThenInoticedthekitchenclock.

7:30?

Already?

Iflewaroundthecondogettingreadyforschool,anddespitesomeunintentionalbangingandclanging,I

managedtoslipoutthedoorwithoutwakingmymother.

I hurried toward school, and as I walked, my flip-flops seemed to slap to the rhythm of the steps

outlinedinWelcometoaBetterLife.

SpeakYourFantasy.

SeeYourFantasy.

LiveYourFantasy.

Thecadenceofitwascatchy.Likethechorusofasong.

SpeakYourFantasy.

SeeYourFantasy.

LiveYourFantasy.

And as it repeated in my head, I suddenly realized how much my life had been dominated by my

parents’breakup.WhenwasthelasttimeI’deventhoughtaboutmyownlovelife?

SpeakYourFantasy.

SeeYourFantasy.

LiveYourFantasy.

Maybeitcouldbethateasy.Icouldjustlivemyownlife!Getoutfromundertheirdarkcloud!Have

somefun.

SpeakYourFantasy.

“Iwantacrimsonkiss!”Ishoutedintothesky.

SeeYourFantasy.

Ispuninafantasydanceacrossanintersection,adoredinmymind’seyebymyowndashingGrayson.

LiveYourFantasy.

IhurriedontotheLarkmontHighSchoolcampus.Mylifewasgoingtochange!



AdrienneWillow



I MADE A BEELINE ACROSS THE QUAD—hurrying past the outdoor stage, zigzagging between cement

lunchtablesand acrosspatchy grass—toreachmybestfriend,AdrienneWillow,who wasperchedon

“our”brickplanter,organizingherbinder.

Ihoppedupbesideher.“Ihadanepiphanythismorning.”

“Really?”sheasked,snappingtheringsofherbinderclosed.“What’sthat?”

“I’mdonebeingdraggedthroughtheknotholeofmyparents’life.I’mgoingtostartlivingmyown.”

Shelookedup,blinked,thenwhoopedandjumpedofftheplanter.“It’sabouttime!”

“DoyouknowhowmuchI’vemissedthisyear?Ididn’tgooutforvolleyball,Ididn’tjoinlinkcrewor

helpwiththewarmthdrive…allI’vedoneisliveundertheirdarkcloudandstudy.”

Adriennehadbeenbouncingwithexcitement,butshesuddenlystopped,soIfollowedherlineofsight

acrossthequad.

ItwasTatianaPhillips.

“Itwasn’therfault,”Isaidquietly.“Itwashermom’s.Andmydad’s.Ishouldn’thaveletitstopme.”

“From playing volleyball?” Adrienne asked, giving me her trademark squint. “No one could have

played under those circumstances!” She snorted. “Her mother and your dad sitting together at games?

Please.”

Ilookeddown.Adriennehasanuncannywayofputtingherfingerontheheartofthehurt.

Thewarningbellclanged.“Thepointis,”Isaidfirmly,“I’mthroughlettingitruinmylife.Ineedto

havesomefun.Ineedtoshiftparadigms.”

“Youneedtowhat?”

Ilaughed,thenspreadoutmyarmsandlookeddownatmybaggyJohnLennon“Imagine”T-shirtand

frayedjeans.“Ineedamakeover!”Icaughthereye.“AndIneedyoutohelpme.”

Shecollectedherthings.“Anything,”shesaid.“Youknowthat.Anything.”

Thenshegavemeatighthug,andwehurriedofftoourfirst-periodclasses.



RobbieMarshall



FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARSI’vemade ahabitofignoringRobbieMarshall. He’sgorgeous,but

that’sexactlywhyIignorehim.

Likeheneedsonemoregirlfawningoverhim?

Weusedtobefriendlybutthatwasbackinmiddleschool.Backwhenhewasn’tafraidtobesmart.

BackbeforehegrewintoRobbieMarshall,gorgeousjock.

So in firstperiod all the other girls in class paid attention toRobbie Marshall’s biceps, and I paid

attention to Mrs. Fieldman’s math lesson. Mrs. Fieldman is a real pro. She’s clear and concise, and

there’snofallingasleepinherclass—shecoversmorematerialinadaythansometeachersdoinaweek,

andifyoudon’tpayattention,youcankissagoodgradegoodbye.

AftermathIcontinuedthroughmymorningclasses,slippingintothetypicalrhythmofaschoolday.But

somewhere in the middle of third period I realized that I was doing what I’d been doing all year:

focusing,takingnotes,gettingajumponthehomework.Funwasnopartoftheequation.Iwascertainly

notlivingmyfantasy!

Soasthirdperiodwounddown,IdidsomethingIneverdo—Ipackedupearly,andwhenthebellrang,

Iboltedoutoftheclassroom.

ApparentlyI’m a complete klutz atboltingfrom classrooms, because notonly did Ihurt mywrist,I

managedtoslamthedoorintosomeonewalkingby.

Someonewhoturnedouttobe…RobbieMarshall.

“Sorry!”Isaid,turningbeetred.

“Noproblem,”hereplied.

Andthenhesmiledatme.

Diamondsseemedtodancebetweenhislipsashegazedatme.Hiseyestwinkledsmokygray.Hishair

lookedlikeithadbeencombedthroughwithsunshine.

Thenhewasgone.

Butjustlikethat,myfantasyfoundadirection.

Adestination.

Istaggeredtomyfourth-periodclass,outofbreathand(granted)outofmymind.SuddenlyallIcould

seewasRobbieMarshall’sface.

AllthroughMissRyder’sAmerican-litlectureIfantasizedaboutRobbieMarshall.

Hiseyes.

Hissmile.

Hislips.

I didn’t concentrate on my classwork, didn’t scrutinize the red comments on the essay Miss Ryder

passed back. By the end of class my chance collision with the school’s most gorgeous jock was

completelyentwinedwithmynewfounddesiretolivemyfantasy

Ithadallbecomeperfectlyclear.

IneededtokissRobbieMarshall.

WENDELINVANDRAANENspentmanyyearsasaclassroomteacherandisnowa

full-timewriter.Sheistheauthorofmanyaward-winningbooks,includingtheSammyKeyesmysteries,

SweartoHowdy,Runaway,andConfessionsofaSerialKisser.

Ms.VanDraanenliveswithherhusband,twosons,andtwodogsinCalifornia.Herhobbiesinclude

the“threeR’s”:reading,running,androck’n’roll.

